"OK, that's just not normal!"
It's something we say a lot-- typically in jest-- but what does it really mean? And how does the way we-- and society-- use the term "normal" affect our lives?
It sounds simple enough, but there's a lot more to this than meets the eye.
Rhododendron in bloom...
I'm Not Normal!
On a personal level, I have lived somewhat under the spectre of being "not normal" for most of my life.
To many people, I was "not normal" because I was unusually tall as a child and teenager, and even today I have grown up to be 6'4"+ (194cm) tall.
But that's just the visual. I was also gauged as "not normal" because I started 1st grade late, and then skipped 2nd grade and went straight to 3rd grade, all within 9 months. I was "not normal" because I preferred expressing myself in writing, rather than by talking.
There are a bajilion reasons why people have considered me "not normal" since I left home, and during the 35-odd years I have lived as an adult.
My point here isn't to parade around my "non-normalcy" but to point out how pretty much all of us have probably been labeled "not normal" or a "freak" at one time or another... and, on some level, it makes us feel "other than."
But this is not an article about me...
Messing With Our Minds: The Stigmatization and Pathologization of Non-Normalcy
White desert aster
Being normal-- or not-- was never a big deal for me.
However I am growing increasingly concerned about some of the underlying trends in society, many of them revolving around the tendency to "pathologize" anything that falls outside some predefined set of standards referred to as "the norm."
In the medical and mental health fields, there have been lots and lots of changes in the course of the past 50 years. Some have definitely improved our quality of life, but there are many that have been of very dubious merit... especially in the mental health field.
Not only are we seeing a proliferation of "syndromes" and "conditions," but people are being urged to "seek treatment" so they can become part of "normal" life again.
Center of a purple gerber daisy
Think about the ads you've seen on TV or in magazines... You know the kind:
"Have you asked your doctor about new Flatulinex? You may be suffering from Unscheduled Gaseous Anal Emissions, but we can help! Always ask your doctor before using prescription medicines-- side effects may include uncontrollable twitching, heavy breathing, vomiting, loss of brain cells, anal seepage and death." And yadda yadda...
(Yes, I just made that up...)
I'm sorry... it's called farting... humans have been doing it for millennia. And it's normal. But now we're suddenly being told it's a syndrome. And that we're no longer normal, and we no longer fit in.
But now it has become a condition.
Exactly WHO Gets to Decide what Normal Is, Anyway?
I've spent some 35 years as an (informal) student of psychology and the human condition... one of my particular interests has been the psychology of Jungian archetypes and the nature of personality differences.
I once found myself in a group discussion about personalities, and someone made the fairly inevitable comment that I (as an introvert) was being "too quiet."
Blackberries on the vine
This led to an interesting debate about the deeper nature of "too quiet" for WHAT and for WHOM, with the extended consideration of who exactly get to decide what any particular human attribute should be... and what metric is being used to establish the norm.
As we drilled deeper into the topic, my extraverted friends came to realize that their comments about introverts being "too quiet" were essentially rooted in fairly arbitrarily derived feelings of discomfort over encountering perceptions and conduct materially different from what felt natural to them.
Like many arguments, the root of the issue was not over anyone being "wrong," just about someone being "different."
Normalcy: Inclusionary AND Exclusionary
Scotch broom
Whether we like it or not, we humans tend to be fairly social and tribal in our orientation. Even if we purport to be "loners," we still tend to think of ourselves as belonging to the "tribe of loners."
What's interesting about the whole idea of "normal" is that it is often used as a tool to both INclude and EXclude people from certain groups.
When we go back and look at pathologization issue, one has to wonder how often there's a real issue to be addressed, and how often a set of standards are created purely in order to make people feel excluded... so that they feel compelled to reach out for a set of "solutions" (real or imaginary) that will make them feel INcluded again.
Something to think about, next time you feel inclined to reach for the Xanax just because you're feeling a little anxious... who convinced you "anxious" is a wrong feeling?
Narrowing the Goalposts on the Spectrum of Normal Human Experiences
Pink wild rose
What specifically seems to be happening is that various "states of being" that were not given a second thought 50 years ago are now labeled as "syndromes" and "conditions" in need of treatment. Things once considered part of the Normal Spectrum of Human Emotions are now "illnesses."
30 years ago, I was a pretty healthy, balanced and "normal" human being. Today, I could easily be "diagnosed" with Sensory-Integration Disorder, Adult ADHD (Inattentive), Creative Compulsive Disorder, Dysthymia and a few other things.
The point here is that the goalposts have been moved... and from two different angles. Not only is the framework for what makes a person "normal" much narrower than it used to be; but the stigma attached to non-normalcy has been ramped up to where people compulsively seek treatment for things they don't need any treatment for.
A Few Words for the Apologists
Of course, there are those who would strongly argue that we are "better off" as a result of these trends.
Evening sky
Which brings the entire discussion around in a full circle, with the question "Yeah, but WHO decides?" And "What's the objective?"
I remember an article by conservative commentator George Will in the Washington Post some years back, in which he postulated that if Mozart had been a young man in today's world, he would have been diagnosed with ADHD and medicated into oblivion.
Meanwhile, things like "too much intense creativity" and "questioning authority" (aka "thinking for yourself") are now treated as potential "mental illnesses."
As I have said previously, I am NOT a "conspiracy theorist," however I am old enough to remember a part of history during which people in the former USSR who questioned the "genius" of Communism would be diagnosed with a "mental illness" (a variation of schizophrenia, as I recall) and reconditioned till they saw the error of their ways.
Conform or perish.
Our memories are remarkably short...
Just be YOURSELF (Besides, Everyone else is Already Taken!)...
Blooming heather
Ultimately, our real challenge here on Planet Earth is to learn to feel comfortable in our own skins, simply being fiercely and authentically ourselves.
And that is often a lot easier to do if we can just learn to embrace that it is perfectly normal to be "not normal!" Because-- with all the infinite variations in humans-- there is no such thing as NORMAL!
Last but not least, I'd like to give a quick shoutout to @reddust, whose article "What Is A Visual Intellectual?" largely inspired these words.
What do YOU think? Are you "normal?" Do you think "normal" even exists? Ever wonder who exactly creates the rules for what makes someone normal? Does it feel like more and more of our everyday emotions and experiences are being re-labeled as illnesses? Do you get the sense that "someone" (society? politicians?) are trying to quietly turn us all into "average" automatons? Leave a comment-- share your experiences-- start the conversation!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly for Steemit)
Superb post !
Ive never been labelled normal...at least by family and friends.
I've noticed my generation at least is more at ease (at least at the universities Ive visited) with people who differ from the norm. So I hope it'll spread when our generation gets to the "kid making" stage XD
In any case, Ive never tried to "be" normal. Its warranted some exclusion when I was younger, but now others find my personality interesting XD
When I was younger, I was often thought of as "the weird kid in the corner." I never fit in with cliques or groups in high school... although I did actually relate to many different groups in a minimal sort of way. In life I have sometimes chosen things "just because" and some have been part of popular culture and some have been "unheard of," but I tend to think independently of that.
Thanks for the comment!
No problemo :)
Hehe, yeah watch out for the "experts" and "authorities" of the psyche known as psychiatrists who mostly just follow the DSM and prescribe medication. I think it's safer now than when it started int he 1800's with lobotomies and other crazy things like pulling teeth out. They still wield much power to make us more docile for conformity like automatons as you say.
If they make it so that almost all people fall outside the "norm," then lots of people will need "treatment" (note: not healing, but treatment). And that means lots of pharmaceuticals can be dispensed, and lots of therapy hours prescribed... not to mention the entire industry needed to treat the side effects of the psych drugs.
Well another way I see it people aren't aware of how this works. They don't need to apply to everyone, just those pesky non-conformist trouble makers that challenge the status quo or get out of line, and then attribute these lame labels as excuses to silence them. Even though everyone else would technically fall into the same label, they aren't having the label applied because they aren't a subversive to the establishment ;) Those who would look closer/deeper to the substance of the issue, would see past the artificial appearance of its legitimacy and see the fraud.
Just like they did to those pesky non-conformists in the former USSR who "dared" to think communism wasn't the greatest thing ever... clearly, they had a mental illness.
Now we have people who question authority and "the way things are" being labeled as having "Oppositional Defiance Disorder."
OMG I got ODD! I bet some whales here would love that to be added as an official rule. LOL. You defied me! FLAG! Making Steemit great!
FLAGS!
It's the Steemit version of Xanax...
very good post. I like that you say normal is a term to include and exclude. I see all these kinds of new sydroms as a form of better explanation for behaviour we don´t understand. I find it easier sometimes to see ones special needs and therefore to include them. On the other hand these special needs thing can very well be the reason for excluding people.
I was born with cp (celebral palsy) and I never was normal. But I always tried to be as normal as possible. - Until I finally understood there is no normal. We all are just different. But we a conditions to belief many norms and sometimes steriotypes. People always want to know if people with cp can have normal lifes. I just made a post yesterday about the things people say and do because the have trouble seeing a different normal.
Thank you so very much for bringing this topic forward.
Thanks for your thoughtful reply!
There's no doubt we get ideas and influences from the world around us... but it can easily become a problem when we stop feeling content with simply being ourselves... and instead turn to trying to "become" something that isn't actually us, purely in service of this "normal" thing.
Very true. Quite unbelivele that the pressure to fit in can be so hard that we feel it´s worth putting it all the effort possible to be normal. No matter the struggle seeking to be normal seems better then seeking acceptence of ones self. Not even talking about selflove which seems to be even harder to find.
The difference between trying to "be something" and the quiet reality of simply "being."
Every time you try to be something, something different than what you really are. Get ready and get used to face and withstand vertigo. :)
Great post I agree, I think we place too much emphasis on trying to be normal and fit in when in reality each of us is so different which we view as a bad thing but it's not! We should be able to express ourselves fully without having to worry about whether others perceive us as "normal" even if that means stepping outside the box for a little.
Seems to me a lot of people put far too much effort and energy into following some trend of the moment, without really stopping to consider who THEY are, on the inside... and what they feel like doing.
For any Given Parameter
I'm an occupational therapist. I help people design ways to change whatever it is they want to change in themselves, through daily practice.
Lest anyone feel the urge to say "why change people?", it is in our nature to strive to improve ourselves - and every living thing changes every day anyway.
I agree that there is no "normal", yet there it is on the graph. I am often called upon to explain that graph to people, so here is my take:
If someone is coming to me, they want help. Lots of people want help, for lots of reasons (it goes back to that social, tribal thing). Most of the time, they'll want their health insurance to pay for that help, only their health insurance doesn't know them, me, or their results as anything more than a number. They won't offer the help because you want it, and feel you can improve your life. To get help, we are expected to show you "need" it (you are the "some people" in the area you'd like to see change), and show that you "improve" with help (get closer to the "most people" range.
I'm annoyed with the system, because individuals aren't and don't strive to be in that middle zone - but I know why it exists and the intention is to help people.
For things like iron levels, blood glucose, and more, striving for the middle of that graph makes total sense. For things like reading speed, muscle tone, and balance, it's just information, insight that can be useful.
Diagnoses aren't created to make people conform, but they are created to draw boxes around who can and can not get help - which may actually be worse.
Yep.
And I tend to get pretty ornery when someone comes along and tries to stuff "some people" into the most people slot....
guess where I am
I'd guess that solitary dude over on the right....
bingo
right is right and left is wrong.
never go wrong if you can help it.
The original Latin word for "left" was "sinister" (sinistra).
Maybe more people should have paid attention in school...
depends on when they went to school
I don't think latin is being taught any longer.
When I was in high school it was an elective (which I didn't take)
great post :)
Thank you!
Intresting read! Thanks for sharing. I am not normal and I think normal doesn't exist. If it did, I would not want to be normal anyway.
Yeah, to me "Normal" is a city in the state of Illinois! Hence, I agree completely with you.
Hi Denmark Guy,
Yeah everyone is different,
and we need to accept people just the way they are.
Thanks for the advice!
You said something really important there:
I'm upvoting right now! I've upvoted. Nice post from @denmarkguy Thanks for sharing!
"On a personal level, I have lived somewhat under the spectre of being "not normal" for most of my life." Good one!
Thank you! I think conformity is highly overrated.
Lovely post great content as always .
Thank you for the kind words!
Thanks, dude, besides writing a fine article, you inspired my first post.
Carry on!