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RE: A TRAUMATIZED STEEMIAN; MY SEARCH FOR MOTHERLY LOVE, PAIN & GUILT OF DEATH

in #life7 years ago

I feel so sad for you @oluwoleolaide :-(. Unfortunately life isn't always as we want it to be. I myself didn't have the childhood like most kids, having lovely parents. I don't even know how mother love feels like. Not that my mother passed away, she is still alive, but "absent" for almost my whole life. There are moments like you have, that I feel very sad and think of how it would be if she was here. My mother has a personality disorder which started in my early years and effected me and my sisters. I have been through a lot in my childhood. I just don't really speak about it to people and people don't see on my face what I have been through. They see a young woman who always has is good, no worries or what so ever. But people have no clue that I actually skipped my entire childhood. Anyways, I wish you all the best, and try to speak to someone who is close to you about your feelings or try to find a shoulder to cry on.

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Wow, this beat me to pieces.

Alive and away is more harder, i had accepted the fact that mine died unlike longing for something you can't have. Thanks for sharing this with me; i guess i have to open up to some professional and i hope one of my siblings is reading this. His name is @peman , but hard to have such deep convo with a man.

I tried to speak with a professional, but for me it didn't work out because it brings old "bad" memories up again. I just like to close the chapter. Once in a while I talk about it with my husband but with a professional, I just feel even more sad when I come home after the visit. But hopefully it works for you :-)

Very true, hopefully i get good wife to discuss deep thoughts topics with. Hope you are doing well dear friend; have a bountiful week ahead.