Wow, this beat me to pieces.
Alive and away is more harder, i had accepted the fact that mine died unlike longing for something you can't have. Thanks for sharing this with me; i guess i have to open up to some professional and i hope one of my siblings is reading this. His name is @peman , but hard to have such deep convo with a man.
I tried to speak with a professional, but for me it didn't work out because it brings old "bad" memories up again. I just like to close the chapter. Once in a while I talk about it with my husband but with a professional, I just feel even more sad when I come home after the visit. But hopefully it works for you :-)
Very true, hopefully i get good wife to discuss deep thoughts topics with. Hope you are doing well dear friend; have a bountiful week ahead.