Sometimes you have to deal with people you don't like. I'm sure we can all think of people who make our life sour. They drain the life out of us And make us feel bad about ourselves.
While many people say that it's not okay to wish negative things on your opponent.
I disagree with this. It's human instinct for us to feel ill will towards our enemies. But at the same time, We shouldn't let it fill our lives with negativity.
Get Revenge!
I don't believe in taking revenge, Like slashing their tires. Or causing them direct harm by punching them in the face. (Even though that might sound like a good option right now!). These methods end up hurting you too. Like you may go to jail, Or get a fine.
But you can still get the best revenge.
Cut the person out of your life!
You should always be cutting out those negative people in your life! They can pull you down, and over time kills your self-esteem. Cutting them out will enable you to focus on your success. This isn't always possible depending on your situation, but you can certainly try.
Improve yourself
When you let anger become your motivator, You can do incredible things. Use that pain to drive your motivation, While it won't sustain you forever, it can help you get through the first difficult steps.
Start your business, Grow your income! Get in incredible shape.
Start working hard now.
Dont' worry things will get to them
Or maybe they won't. But with all the social media, and ability to connect to other people makes it super easy for them to "see" what you are doing.
If they see you on Facebook, With you new business. In the best shape of your life. You'll hurt them in the best way possible.
Those people that live to pull others down, Hurt the most when they see a person they hoped to destroy, Succeeding and doing well. By that time, You probably have forgotten that they even exist. And you'll be so happy and cheerful in your life. It will eat them alive.
So many people waste their time dealing with toxic people. But what we need to do, is cut them lose and remove them.
In some cases with family, Coworkers or bosses. You may be stuck. But find that escape route.
Ignore them
Sometimes cutting them lose isn't possible right away. But you can ignore them while you work on your path to self-improvement. Don't acknowledge them. Dont' give them attention. Ignore them.
For many toxic people, They are toxic because they are narcissistic. And narcissists love attention. Just be careful that they do not try and harm you because of it!
Don't let them hurt you!
It can be hard sometimes Because often these people learn how to push your buttons. They know exactly where to go.
Which can cause you immense pain. Reach out to those who are there for you. That can help you!
I dealt with this a lot with my dad. In my teen years, There were boys at school who used to hit me. They would punch me and kick me. Throw rocks at me and spit on me!
I'd come home, and my dad used to tell me I deserved it. Because I was annoying to those boys.
I later became suicidal And started cutting myself.
I didn't understand why I deserved to be treated like that.
I was confused and alone.
Finally, my art teacher saw that I was struggling. She took me aside and talked to me. I explained the whole situation to her, and she realized I had a very warped view of the world.
She began helping me channel my pain and anger into art. Which eventually turned me into an artist. She made me realize that as long as I value myself, I have value.
No one can decide your worth, or how you deserve to be treated
YOU DECIDE!
These toxic people are everywhere, And you can't let them bring you down!
Just because my dad doesn't feel I deserve love, Doesn't mean that I don't deserve love. It means he's an asshole.
And by taking control of my life. And focusing on myself. I can get revenge while moving on and becoming the woman I always dreamed of being!
Don't let those Assholes in your life, Bring You down!
Exactly! Feel it fully, Then let it go. And improve your life.
Yes but sometimes it's hard to let it go, I'm pretty good at it now but I always have to remind people around me to get rid of people who drain their energy.
Agreed! It takes practice!
If you feel it fully then let it go, does that mean you took a whiff of the poison instead of drinking it? XD
Maybe it'd make a nice candle LOL
LOL maybe! But I feel that denying your feelings and not allowing yourself to feel it will cause more issues later on
'exactly!
Buddha nailed it.
so true, good to remember!
Thanks for your very helpful and personal post @kaylinart. I agree that sometimes you just have to cut a person out of your life. If they are harmful, abusive, and manipulative, you just can't keep them in a position that allows them to continue to cause damage to your life. Until they apologize and change their ways, it is impossible to have a real reconciliation with them. I try not to wish bad things on those who harm me, but I'm not going to let it continue to me or my family. You have to separate from the relationship. Thanks for helping us work through this.
I've often found that the best revenge is to simply BE (or DO) better than the other person you've been slighted by.
Reminds me of a banker I knew many years ago... turned down my business for a loan that would have been very good for the bank... but I was "too young and the business too risky." Somehow, my business was on his call list eight years later, soliciting new customers. With a straight face and no malice I said "I appreciate you thinking of us, but we prefer dealing with a more stable organization... sorry your bank changed hands three times and went into federal receivership." Whereas I doubt he actually connected the dots, it felt good to say that...
WOW! That is amazing! I'm glad you had the opportunity to rub salt in the wound a bit later on.
hahaha i gree with the post specially with the "I don't believe in taking revenge, Like slashing their tires. Or causing them direct harm by punching them in the face." and i also agree with what you said of hurting them by succeding, but i know myself and trust me i dont roll like that lol here is a example. i hated my teacher for" reasons " well then i decided to take revange, so I got close to her dauther, seduce her and all, i manage to go out with her without her mothers promition, i also made sure she find out ad saw us making out then i dump her ass hhahaha .. now i realize it was not the best way to get revange cause it brought tones of problems.. dont be like me, take in mind @kaylinart post cause thats the real way to get revange .
SO true hehe!! WOW!! Thats funny that you did it! But yeah that would cause more problems than you started with! Lol.
it was all worth it tho hahaha
This is a tough subject and deserves discussion, it's positive to see you are good with talking about the negativity in the past and angling it to the positive. In my case, the negativity came from my child's mother, even before my daughter was born. I felt that her mother dragged me through hell and back, now my daughter is 11 and although the situation is still tough at times, I refuse to let the thoughts and actions of someone else affect my well-being as much as they did in the past.
Aww! I'm so glad you overcome that issue with your daughters mom! That can be a really complicated situation because you can't always cut her completely out of your life.
That's exactly it. You can't cut them out if you wish to be In your child's life, which for the most part means just sucking it up, at least until your child is an adult.
That reminds me, I need to honour my first post here last August and write the 2nd part, I just know it's going to be tough to do and perhaps a bit depressing to view.
One day.
tee hee
Wow, I'm sorry you had to go thru such shit as a kid. Seems you've risen above that and are flying now. I like your posts. Just wanted to add a metaphor. Revenge is like trying to pick up a red hot rock out of a fire to throw it at your enemy. You will miss your target and only burn yourself. Keep up the good work and good vibes @kaylinart, you're awesome!
WOW thank you so much! I love that quote and I agree :)
Thats why the best revenge is just improving yourself and removing them from your life ;)
Turns out, enemies hate it when you love them still.
The scene from "A Bronx Tale" lays this out best. Some kid owes Cee $10 and keeps skirting him. He's mad, he wants to beat him up, get payback.
Sonny says "do you like the kid?"
"No"
"Then there you go, he's out of your life for $10. You never have to deal with him again, you got off cheap."
Wow! I love that! Thats a perfect way of describing it hehe ;)
No matter what.. Stay positive.. Don't let negative people get to you.. Stay on the path..
Agree :) you can use it to motivate you too.
I agree!! and I do.. :)
Bullying is very damaging to self esteem but being successful later on is the best riposte. Great blog, love your writing 🙂
SO true!! Thank you so much.
It's the best way of looking at it
you looking very beautiful and amazing photos
And we can always upon on Karma !
Agreed! Hopefully Karma does exist LOL
Even if dasunt exist is a good way to over the need of revange and stay positive :)
If you are patient enough and are willing to wait while working on your own life, I can say that it definitely does exist.
There's an old saying that a good life is the best revenge... Personally I take an approach much like yours- I kill the person in my mind and then they aren't there anymore to bother me!
EXACTLY! Hehe ;) that is one thing that helps motivate me to work hard.
Agree with you
Thank you
Best way to get your revenge is not even bothering about getting your "revenge" when the other person is expecting it
Also, from an ultimate pragmatist perspective, revenge is useless in most cases except when it improves your life in some way
I've always adopted the attitude of "Carrying on" so for example if someone has been particularly venomous towards me rather than getting suckered into a bitch slap fight I'll let that comment slide, continue on, respond politely to most subsequent comments they make and watch them wind up like a coiled spring to utter breaking point. The eventual meltdown can be both rewarding and hysterical in some cases.
In most of these situations it's generally a case of He who blinks first loses. just don't blink. :-)Trying to hurt people often hurt us more. Have learnt that being the better you isn't the best revenge. Thanks for the insight