I was tortured and sexually abused by a pedophile group operating in the UK during the 1980s. They were part of a network of abusers which, we now know from investigative newspaper reports, were connected with the UK Government and other power structures.
Escaping my programmed responses
I am in the process of de-programming myself from the trauma-based conditioning I was subjected to. So far, I have processed the core memories of abuse, including forced-participation the murder of a 10-year-old child, the same age as I was, at the camp where I was held.
Thanks to recommendations from others on Steemit, I am in the process of understanding more about the psychological conditioning I underwent, which I have outlined here.
However, I am finding it difficult to access the full-extent of what was conditioned into me during the repeated rapes and beatings I, and other children at the camp, were subjected to.
What should I do next?
If you have any advice on how I can liberate myself from the remnants of these programs, then please let me know.
So far, these books have been suggested by the amazing @dakini5d:
• Thanks for the Memories: The Memoirs of Bob Hope's and Henry Kissinger's Mind-Controlled Sex Slave by Brice Taylor
• TRANCE: Formation of America and ACCESS DENIED: For Reasons of National Security by Cathy O'Brien
• THE ENSLAVED QUEEN: A Memoir about Electricity and Mind Control, By Wendy Hoffman
• Chrysalis: Intel at Any Cost: CIA Sanctioned Torture of Children, by M.C. Nelson.
• How to Create a Complete Mind-Controlled Slave by Fritz Springmeier
• Safe passage to healing: A guide for survivors of ritual abuse, by Chrystine Oksana
• The Montauk Project by Preston Nichols and Peter Moon
• Mind Control, World Control by Jim Keith
• Mass Control: Engineering Human Consciousness by Jim Keith.
Have I reported my abusers to the police in the UK?
Some of you have asked if I reported Clare's murder to the police. Sadly, the police in the UK actively participated in pedophile rings and it is significant to remember that the British Government was raping children and concealing the evidence.
So, reporting historical child-murders or rapes to the police is a near-impossible undertaking. Nothing happens in response. The national inquiry into the rape of children in the UK has gone through many, many chairs because they are unable to find anyone in a position of legal authority in the UK who is not incompetent or connected to a suspected paedophile.
So, you can see why my report went unheard. In effect, this is my report here, on Steemit. If the police have any interest in prosecuting Clare's killers at some point in the future, then all the information they need is here. Sadly, they appear to have no interest because they support the very power structures that facilitate child-abuse.
hi again, @kida! Your commitment to free yourself is the thing that will free you! I think steemit social media as an open source way to find healing for ritual abuse is very interesting. Your willingness and ability to speak with strangers and listen to them on a public blog, considering the potential for triggering, is powerful. I am here for any resources i can offer. I think reading Safe Passage to Healing: A Guide For Survivors of Ritual Abuse, by Chrystine Oksana, will be a great move bc it will help with day-to-day life skills. Looking forward to talk more, @dakini5d
This book looks very good, @dakini5d . I'll get hold of a copy.
So far, sharing my process on Steemit has been a very positive experience. You've pointed me towards some amazing resources, and many others have offered their support. It's hard to express how important it has been for me to be heard and believed.
Thank you!
Sarah Ruth Ashcraft on twitter is a survivor in the U.S. and recently started sharing her story. She wants to help others and is providing resources on what is helping her recover. I’m so sorry for all you had to endure. Many of us are trying to learn as much as possible on the subject as we have been clueless of this horror and it is worldwide. Sharing your story is helping shed light on the darkness and you are truly brave to do so. May God protect you. You are no longer alone. https://twitter.com/SaRaAshcraft
Thank you for this great information @freedom4u
I took a look at Sarah Ruth Ashcraft's Twitter feed. It's inspiring.
Hopefully I can share a lot of information on this topic. I'm trying to write here most days — also because it helps me to process the experiences I went through by expressing them in language.
Thank you for reading, and for the link!
This would be somewhat of a commitment, but it is the best advise I can think of. I took this free, online course about 10 years ago when I was "waking up." If you go beyond the lesson and "read between the lines" you will get an education in the types of things they do so that you may be "triggered" remotely later in life. I highly recommend that as you heal, you remember to never let your guard down.
Best of luck to you, it makes me ill what some people do to other people...
https://hypnosis.edu/
Thank you for reading and for your advice, @fishyculture
I will explore this course.
Let me know what you think. And I am NOT qualified to be "real help" to you but I am a pretty good cheerleader for people if you ever just need a sympathetic ear.
Thank you, @fishyculture :)
How are ya' doing today, @kida? Just checking in to say hi. After you posted this yesterday, I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and sending my support.
Hi @dakini5d
Thanks for checking in on me.
I'm doing ok — yoga is helping.
A lot of very strange and anxious dreams last night. I'm guessing connected with the abuse.
I was told that they would come and kill me if I ever told anyone what happened, so it may be that my subconscious mind is projecting that potential onto the present circumstances around me, and that gets especially bad at night. I feel it will pass.
I have a strong background in psychoanalytical theory and trauma therapy, so I have a framework to process this all withing. But just knowing that I am in a state of flashback does not necessarily stop the flashback, it just means I have some perspective to observe myself going through this.
Thank you for your support. I really appreciate it.
Hi. Im a survivor in Australia. I am using closed eye visualizations to follow my emotional reactions to their source and rescue that part of me that I find there. A tool I use is the guided visualizations created by www.melanietoniaevans.com, although they are not targeted at trauma based mind control, they work for me. I have described some of my visualizations on my blog garypfeiferramcsurvivor.wordpress.com wish you success in your healing journey.
As a victim myself, I started a forum for victims of ritual abuse. Time will tell whether being able to talk casually on a forum is helpful in deprogramming. It is still new and small, but you are welcome to join if you want! tapatalk.com/groups/breakeverychain/index.php
Check out Stewart Swerdlow. He was one of the main psychics used (abused) in the montauk project. He and his wife Janet have put out an extensive amount of information on the subject and ways to deprogram and heal yourself. https://expansions.com/ is their main website. They have books available as well as many youtube videos, etc.