Listen, @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself.
I hope nobody else takes this personally: you are my favourite entity to follow here on Steemit thus far. Your artwork and your sense of humour are why I follow you. I would imagine the rest of your followers follow you for those same reasons.
I'm sorry some people have been heckling you about various things, but you have to harden yourself against that sort of thing-- as an artist, as a comedian, as a person on a decentralised platform where everything is market driven and people speak their mind at you with impunity and relative anonymity. There are bound to be some bad actors or maybe some people who just don't agree with you. I know you said you're trying to let it slide, but you need to understand that just because one or more persons disapprove of your work doesn't mean you should stop altogether. I've been wondering where your artistic side went.
I'll be honest with you right now and tell you that these things have snowballed into something that is attempting to kill me. For the past few days I've hinted that I may be headed to a dark place. This is what I meant by that. I don't feel good. I'm tired, and I don't feel welcome.
I didn't comment on your earlier post out of respect for your decision to take some time away, but I was starting to worry then. Now after reading this post, I am even more troubled. I hope that these snowballing negative forces are only threatening to figuratively kill you. I hope that you are taking artistic licence there. I'm worried that you're not.
If you are not, please don't let that evil snowball win. Go get help. Call one of the hotlines. Step away from Steemit if you need to, seriously. Anything you can do to stay with us, even if it means leaving us, for now, until you get better. None of this is worth not being alive. Really.
It's so cliché, it sounds so weird coming from an internet stranger-- but fuck it. I'm sorry someone closer to you hasn't said something similar on this post yet, but I am here if you need to talk.
I'm fine. That's all. It's highs and lows. Hard to explain. Think about how much energy it would take to be on fire. You've seen me on fire. That stuff is way up into space. I like it, it feels good. I can't stay there though. I'd pop. So these things come up in life. They're necessary. They seem to come in waves or groups. Sometimes it's nothing. Other times it's pretty harsh. The drop can be drastic. That'll change a person overnight. Knock me down a few notches. If I bottle it up, it stays there. Over the years I've found if I simply get things off my chest and be honest about it, I start to feel better. I'm an open book. I also like to make it known the world that I don't enjoy being fucked with and I like to push back. I needed to talk, so I did my talking.
I am getting tired though. My last post I said I won't be around. People still commented. I didn't ignore them. I read everything, but not until I had a free moment. Even though I'm tired, I get bored if I don't do anything. I didn't want to just sleep off an entire day. The silence gave me a chance to just focus only on my art studio instead of switching back and forth and attempting to do everything at the same time. So now I got something done and I feel better. I did everything I said I was going to do. Got some rest, went for a long walk, aimlessly. I needed that. Might do it again tomorrow.