One day I came home from work and my then wife told me that she had cancer. I went into a weird space where everything seemed possible. Turns out, that's for real, that's what your body does in those circumstances, it "switches off" all inhibition because you don't know what's going to happen next so you'd better be ready for anything. As it happened, most of the things you immediately think you're going to have to do, don't quite pan out that way. All I could think of was the children having to say goodbye to their mother. And twenty-one years later, she's still around, they'd quite like to be rid of her, but cancer still didn't finish that one off :)
I met a man whose house burned down. Not metaphorically, literally. There was a major fire, none of the family were hurt, but the house was unliveable in for some time. It was the same sort of shock - what's going to happen now? The insurance paid for everything replaceable to be replaced. And now he's wondering what his purpose is. A lot of the reason for going out to work had been to do this or that to the house - have a new sofa or redo the kitchen. None of those projects are there any more.
The thing is, when you find yourself in situations like these, the one's that you think, "Oh my, if that happened to me, I'd never be able to deal with it" are just the situations where you find that you are able to deal with it. All of it. And the proof is that you're still here at the end of each day, dealing with it. Maybe not enjoying it, maybe having another cry, but dealing with life on life's terms, because there's really nothing else to do.
And afterwards you look back and think "that's quite a journey" but at the time it's just putting one foot in front of the other, plodding on with whatever's in front of you. The next right thing is often a really mundane thing - have a cup of tea, take a nap, go to the loo. Practicing that kind of plodding is really useful when you're not under the stress of sudden unexpected change, once you're through it, you've learned the value of taking baby steps and the incredible compounding effect of making small improvements every day.
I think it has also to do with the fear of losing the security of comfort. You think you will not be able to survive due to a level of comfort there is. It takes a very strong person, as I am sure you are, to get through such tough situations. I am in the position like you said in the post where I think, if this should happen to me, I would not be able to cope. It scares me to think about these type of things. Thank you for sharing your story. :) I am glad she is still with you!
@stinawog and I have a new baby. Sometimes it's the little things that seem overwhelming, but sometimes it's... how can we make the world a better place? There's a child here, who will be impacted by the decisions we make today, tomorrow, and for decades.
Damn preach brother... every time I’d SWORE I wouldn’t be able to continue living if I didn’t have such and such, lo and behold, those were the first things to go- and yet here I am!
I’ve also learned it’s best not to make threats to the universe about what your CAN and CANT do ;)
Waww soo good :D