You will love this place my guy, I can't believe you have never been!
I stuffed random toiletries into a suitcase in preparation for our holiday to Ibiza at the weekend.
The Little Boom looked at me with all the snark of a soon to be seven-year-old.
We have been, Daddy. We go every year to Ibeefa?
He smirked and I could see he relished taking the Dad-Man down a peg or two.
No doubt he was furiously imagining the day we would fight to the death to be the leader of the family and I could see from the gleam in his eye he could already envisage standing over my bloodied corpse, wrenching my head off and lifting it high before tilting it to his lips and drinking my skull juice.
Damn, being a Father is brutal. I still had a few years left in me though.
Yes, youngster. You have been to Ibiza but not to this particular resort. This one is something special. They call it Caribou, on account of its soft white golden sands.
I closed my eyes and could almost feel the sand between my toes.
Caribou? Caribou?! Isn't that a type of Elk or something?
The Good Lady punctured my imaginings as if they were a particularly cheap pair of inflatable pants that Venezuelans wear when they can't afford to buy chairs.
Hmmph, maybe you are a type of bloody Elk.
I grumped in her direction.
Ooo, charming!
The Good Lady tutted and went back to DuoLingo on her phone where she was learning the Spanish that people don't speak in Spain.
Anyway, young man. You will love it there. The sea is so calm that you will be able to properly learn to swim. How cool is that?
I made pawing motions like a man in a bear suit auditioning for a sexy party wrestling match with Logan Paul.
Aw, Do I have to swim? I don't like it.
The Little Boom snunshed his face as if he were being chased by a pomegranate.
Do you have to swim? By the black bones of a Bassoon, boy. Of course you have to swim. Oh yes indeed!
I exclaimed with the fervour of a Mormon on a doorstep sensing early dementia in the person answering the door.
Isn't a Bassoon a type of giant flute or something?
The Good Lady's voice floated over to us, harmonious and yet annoying as fuck.
Maybe you are a type of giant flute, lady.
I mumbled grumpily in her direction.
I fixed her with a grim eye. The kind of grim eye that a Mother Snail tells her baby snails about at bedtime to scare them into behaving and doing their chores.
Anyway, young man. Ignore this giant flute of an Elk that calls itself your mother... Where were we, ah yes. You will learn to swim, trust me. The water is so salty that it practically holds you up. Like a pair of crusty arms!
I lifted my arms up high like a priest encouraging his flock to sing louder so they wouldn't hear the boys in the church basement.
Ew, no. I don't think I like swimming in the sea?
The Little Boom fussed in a way that reminded me he was a long way from facing me bare-chested in the circle and that we still had time for the nice things.
Don't you worry young man. By the time we are done, you will be swimming like Octavier Jones, the famous half-man, half-octopus!
I grinned and gave him a hug which he grudgingly fell into.
Octavier what? Do you just make stuff up? Bassoons and Caribou? You are mad!
The Good Lady squawked this last bit as if just realising for the first time in more years than is right that she was living with a nutjob.
I flapped her negativity away with an imperious hand and high-fived the Little Boom.
Make stuff up indeed. It was all real. I mean, isn't a bassoon a type of water cow? Hmm. I could google it but the deep state probably didn't want me to know.
Oh well.
Are you back yet? Hope holiday. Caribou. Sounds like a nice spot
Alright dude!!!
Aye, been back a couple of weeks but I had jury duty for a week so not long off that. Need to get back in the posting saddle!
Yeah I’m in need of my El Jefe fix 😂😂
Lol. He has been a class banger lately!!
You lads are funny. I just came to check in on Boom too. Havent talked with ya for a while either Blanchy. Hope ye gentlemen are chillin like champs.
Always chillin. Its the only way to be! :O)
Well this was my first thought.
The sea can be quite scary if you've seen a few nature progs about sharks and stuff. Luckily the bassoons will have migrated to southern waters along with the oboes.
HAha, the Pixies, maybe that is where it rose up from!
Ah yes, I do have a deep seated fear of the the oboes but thankfully they are solitary creatures that rarely trouble man on the high seas :OD
Giant flute of an Elk lol, you funny ass.
BOOM SPARTICUSSSSSS!
!BEER
Being an ass is all I know :OD
Enjoooy Careeeebou! so much more fun to say it like that!
It certainly is and I am fairly sure we will have a blast!! Cheers!
I love the education you give to little Boom. Now swim in a Beef za, oh white sandy beaches. The classroom is a paradise.
Have a great time. Looking forward to updates
I think I might only manage to squeeze out one update as I will be living the life but you never know, I will be relatively device-free so might have loads of time on my hands! 😀
You are right... Enjoy and stay away from electronic devices.
They are the devils bosoms!! 😀😀😀
Greetings @meesterboom ,
What an adventure to be sure!
Wishing you and yours much fun in the sun. ^__^
Since you mentioned a couple of Religious groups...
Just incase you did not know...although you did mention the unmentionable in the basement...Religion has always been the devil's Ace trump....btw Christianity is not a religion...though many try to make it one.
Religion is man seeking the approbation of God through his works....Christianity is God seeking man through His Son, Christ Jesus.
Here's hoping Little Boom becomes a confident swimmer soon. What is not to love when it comes to swimming!
Bon Voyage to you and your good lady and little ones,
Bleujay
Thank you for your pointers m'dear!!
He can swim a little do I am hoping that days of sand and sea will turn him into a fish of a thing! 😃
You are too kind! ^__^
Oh...yes...'a fish of a thing'...would be ideal!
Kindest Regards,
Bleujay
All I want is enough fishiness to not drown in water them I will be truly happy! 🙂
^__^
Sounds a super place to go, once kiddo's are flailing around in the water, Misses sipping a cocktail enjoying life on the white sand.
Perhaps time for a !BEER enjoyed reading again.
I am actually looking forward to reading, just reading in the sun. A !BEER of course, would complete the picture!! 😃
Having a good book to enjoy relaxing on a deckchair sounds good to me. Enjoy!
That is my favourite kind of holiday! 😀
Anywhere relaxing, away from the noise, askhole or similar definition!
Those places are few and far between these days!
Like hens teeth in most places.
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BEERKING.having vocation with family in Caribou is an awesome Idea, and i am sure you son will learn swimming as you are the teacher :P
I am the best teacher in the world. Well, I can usually get them started. Then it all falls away... 🤣🤣
Enjoy this vacation, you will have a great time I'm sure!
Reading you I thought of a funny thing regarding Your Lady's Spanish lessons; here in Italy to communicate with the Spanish people, the not so smart Italians add an "s" at the end of the words.... by doing so they are convinced they are speaking Spanish, lol!
Of course Italian and Spanish have many assonances in reality.
My missus is quite fluent in Italian!! Or at least so she claimed until we went there and her younger years of learning and even living there for a while so deserted her!!
Well, I also speak French correctly and I can get by with English... until I actually have to speak to someone in these languages eh eh!
I confess that if I'm only in French I start making long speeches, but then when I find myself in some conversation my French always sounds different from how I hear it, lol!
I used to be able to speak Spanish. Not very well but enough to get by in a conversation but now I look confused and ask people to speak more slowly all the time, lol!
Other languages are fun. Its funny how you have so much time before kids for all that stuff!
Yes and it's also funny that with the arrival of the children it seems like there's not enough time for anything, lol!
I just published a post that I started writing 4 hours ago :-)
But honestly I'm having a lot of fun and above all Samuele is making me get back in shape by chasing him, rocking him and keeping up with him... this is one of the two healthiest exercises and the one I prefer!
I know, lordy I know.
I feel like I wouldn't have enough time even if I had extra days in the week!
Wouldn't you know you would pick something he didn't like to suggest it was all going to be great fun ?? D'OH !! ha ha
Maybe you just let him grow up as a weenie, just to make sure he can't strong arm you till you're 80 or so. Then if he can't swim, you can run in the water to get away from him.
😂
Hahahaha, thats a fabulous idea. I shall do my best to make sure he doesn't learn and that way if I move to a nice wee house by the sea then I can always run in if he comes after me for the final challenge! :OD
Enjoy your trip! I hope little boom comes to like swimming. It's good exercise, and can be very calming. I will have to say that this might be one of the few times I've read where you countered the good lady a lot. Feeling brave that day?
Some days I feel brave and snarky and other days I hide inside my shell :OD
I am hoping that the constant sun and sea means he is never out of the water and becomes super confident!
Getting him out there and increasing his experiences, knowledge, and what he can do can do wonders for his confidence.
He is a confident wee bastaj. Exxcept in swimming and cycling. Wait and see he will probably end up being a crazy athlete and we will laugh when he is older :OD
Ah, that would be great. Swimming and cycling... Does he not like the sun?
He does, loves it just isnt hugely outdoorsy but I think that is because he is still quite young.
Little Boom already sizing you up.. normally they wait till about 16 to do that
I have some years left yet to enjoy my life then ;O)
Well the real fun comes when he tries to dethrone you.. start practicing old man... 😆
I'm already on the bag, elbows and feet. I ain't gonna fight clean!
Exactly. Kick the Lil Fucker right in the boomers.
Ah stop 😂😂😂🤣 you're killing me man!
It's true, I saw it in his eyes!! 😃😃
Ibeefa. That's bfunny. What monf was that, was it free? 'Free!' Not free that comes after two, free, the other free! I'm firsty now, g'day chap!
After free is the best time of the day! This monf! This monf is the monf of goodness. 😀😀😀
Ah you loved your time here and learnt well I see!
Hiya!! Just passin frew to say I meant to start fat last paragraf wif ya'right, yokay d'ya-note I mean?
K, bye by-bye-byeeeee, by-by-by-byyeeeee, b-bu byyeee.
CEEYA!
I was like at, winnit?
Such joy 😀
Oh gosh how privvy, yea? Joy indeed, wunit?
(autocorrect was determined to make me say Joey)
Everything's joey, noahtahmean?
Lol, its a battlefield. I am surprised anyone can understand English over here
Oh man, it took us a couple months before we could understand everyone, Scott's more so which I know isn't a surprise. We first got there, I was "excuse me," "say that again, please," a lot. Eventually it got easier.
Stateside now for nearly two years, not even kidding man, documentaries or whatever when everyone's English I'm outta practice, right back to those first couple months, what was that?.. Would you say that again, please.
For two days, I've been hard at work making bfunny mainstream. Tellin complete strangers in real life they're bfunny even when they're not.
Judging by their reactions, I don't think they get it.
A bassoon is a type of flute-playing manatee. They live off the coast of Nepal and can be identified by their brightly-colored bottoms and five-point antlers. And, of course, their melodic fluting.
Their melodic fluting, it drives men wild. The cause of many a wreck I have been told. And is it true that their oil can heal all afflictions of the mind?
I love nature 😀😀
Yes! I believe the classic book Moby Dugong is all about this magical flute oil of theirs.
I have that book, leather bound in my large mahogany bookcase, in my oak panelled study. Yeah
This is great, but are you alright? And try having a good time if you can, although it sounds like you and Little Boom have a lot to talk about.
I exclaimed with the fervour of a Mormon on a doorstep sensing early dementia in the person answering the door. Boom! Hilarious.
And the crown for the word of the story has to go to snunshed. I don't know if you made that up or it's a real word, but I don't need to know.
I made it up to satisfy the look 😃😃
Fear not, I am totally prepared to enjoy the holiday and counting down the hours now!! Woot woot!!
Just wait till the Little Boom can out-lift you. It is maddeningly humiliating, trust me!
I can believe it! The other day one of them patiently tried to fix something on my tablet. Thankfully, they had no clue but they just assumed they would know better because I was old!!
That must be a Scottish cultural thing
Have fun on your trip! Very exciting
We have all the culture here. At least the culture worth having!! Hehe. 🤣🤣
Yeah, hold on to that one, you don't want to lose it!
😂
Lol, I think we lost it long ago! :OD
I'm sure that some family somewhere in the dark cavernous, murky depths of the country are keeping the tradition going. All is not lost
Murky depths are what we are famous for!
We will survive! 😃😃
😂🐉🦕
You daft bastards call moose "elk," and don't even have a proper word for the elk here, right? And caribou are reindeer. Tell the Little Boom it's Santa's secret summer resort and he has to be on his best behavior or else he gets coal for Christmas!
Caribou are reindeer? Hot damn, I wonder what the hell it is that I was thinking of!
Looks like with his behaviour or might be the coal for a few years 🤣🤣
Your stories are always interesting and entertaining
Thank you, that is very kind of you to say
Whenever we go somewhere with the family, it's a lot of fun, a lot to learn, and when we teach our kids something, it's special to them and will last them a lifetime.
I am hoping something like this will be a life benefit for sure!
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I hope so
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