The worst of the snow is behind us and Scotland is slowly starting to get back to normal.
As a result I was back at my desk in work with a merry gleam in my eye today. Questions raced through my head. What challenges awaited me? Would I be able to pretend enough in my job to look as though I cared? Had I masturbated in the shower? (Oh wait, I know the answer to that one.)
Everyone else was as pleased to be back as I was by the looks of the downtrodden faces coming in the door. I was quite happy though. A couple of days working from home and I felt like a new man.
As a result every time someone spoke to me I was spectacularly cheery/cheeky in my response.
In through the door walked an older lady colleague I am quite friendly with, shaking her trouser legs.
Ooo, that bloody snow, look at me, I'm soaking!
My my missus, you might want to keep that to yourself.
Said I, tapping my nose.
She made a scrooking noise followed by a tutting.
I chortled at my own astounding wit.
Later in the kitchen whilst I was making a coffee, a mousey Software developer came in and started babbling about Java blah blah and persistence blah blah Java blah blah blah.
After almost a full minute of him boring me out of my chump, probably because I knew little of the Persistence he was talking about. I couldn't stop my errant mouth from spouting.
You know what is persistent, JavaMan?
Umm, what?
You and your Java shite. This is the kitchen. No work talk, ever.
He sulkily pulled his tea bag out from his horrifyingly stained mug and left grumbling something about people being too big for their boots.
Back at my desk the chat around me seemed to be focused back on the snow which had started again with a vengeance. Someone came staggering through the door like an arctic explorer, their furry hat and scarf caked in icy wet stuff.
Looks like someone threw a snowball right in your face!
Hooted one of my wittier colleagues.
Yeah!! From their PENIS!
I yelled.
Everything went a bit quiet. The snow clad person shook their snowy head and removed their hat.
It was El Jefe. He did not look amused.
In fact he looked very, very angry. Coincidentally, that made him look like a baby struggling to fart.
He took a couple of steps toward me.
Oh oh, it looked like I might be for it.
Aye, an elephants penis!
Shouted some wag from further back in the office.
El Jefe made a strangled noise like a dolphin having it's ronson fiddled with and sulkily stamped off. As he receded into the distance I heard him grumble to someone about respect in the workplace.
Ah, I love Fridays!
Fridays are the best. Cheers!
They are, Cheers!!
Ah yes, work definitely is much easier when you have a couple days off and know you're about to have a couple more days off.
All that java talk has made me thirsty for a warm caffeinated beverage though (you'd think elephant's penises would put me off, but nope, I refuse to associate coffee cream with other cream)
I too refuse to associate coffee cream with any other kind! Besides elephants are do intractable at times you wouldn't want to get a taste for it ;0D
Hehe, I was/am ridiculously cheery today. I feel like I have had a holiday lol
Hurray for the wag from further back in the office!
(I do a great elephant 'trumpet', ooh, wish I'd been there ;0)
I was most grateful. it took the heat largely away from me! I would love to hear said trumpet!! hehe
possibly I could record it and put it on dtube...lol...i'd need to have much wine of course ;0)
Ah sweet wine does lubricate that kind of thing! Says me, half gished on the red lol
don't egg me on...have had half a bottle already...only 7:15pm my time
Haha, I love the post it! Splendid, you are just getting started and I am winding up!! Enjoy your night m'dear!
I guess you are a strange and unique person, your post is like forcing me to follow the next post. I think Indonesia should have a freak like you, so that more people are laughing. 😂
Well I guess they shoud!
The worst of the snow is behind us and Scotland is slowly starting to get back to normalnow that is a good news and time to go to gentleman´s club without stress. I wsh you a blessed weekend.
Have a good weekend too mate! Sorry I just seen this! :O)
Ah, the joys of Rank Has Its Privileges.
The lower class have to get in early so El Jefe can do the big., late entrance, only to have it stuffed up by a bit of snow.
What a shame,
No sense of humour that man, He would go far with one! hehe
We have a "Comunity Patrol" set up in our small town, two volunteers climb into an old Kia Rio, that has seats that are well past their use by date, and drive around the town looking for potential trouble, we have a radio on the police band and can tell them of anything we see.
They came down to the Festival, rubbernecking and drinking free coffee, and parked the Rio alongside an almost new Mercedes 2 seater ragtop, I went over to the boss of the patrol and suggested we move our sponsor's signage from our heap of S*** to the
Bright Red Mercedes, I thought it would be a far better patrol car, [anything would].
Like El Jefe's sense of humour, he said no, because it was the wrong colour, all patrol cars had to become white cars only, so this one was no good.
haha He really doesn't have any people skills or a sense of humour does he xD Well, the snow has finally made it's way south to Nottingham! :D I am off out today to make snowmen, snow angels and dig my bulldogs out if they find themselves in too deep! hehe
Ah the glorious snow! It has not gone away here, Everytime it looks to be done it comes back. Enjoy!
You speak as if your latest bout with snow has left Scotland a war torn place, like days of old. A couple of days away seems to have done you well, Boomtube! You returned with a fresh, reenergized hatred for your job haha! Man, whenever I read your office stories I can't help but not miss my corporate days. It was fun while it lasted though. Well, some parts of it.
You are never alone in this, brother. I speak for all the fine men, women and elephants reading your masterpieces. You are never alone.
It is!! As a country we cope ridiculously badly when it comes to snow. Everything grinds to a halt. We all hide indoors waiting for the rain.
I am glad that even the elephants reading can appreciate my hilarious banter. Hahaha! :0)
Oh I didn't know the Scots are chionophobic. Is it because of a genetic mutation or is it because of bad childhood experience? Point to me in the figure, where did the snow touch you when you were a little boy, Boomy?
Lol, you got me. I had to Google it.
It touches us all when we were young. It's unbelievable white stain colouring the subsequent years...
Don't beat yourself up, dude. It's not your fault. Sometimes things like that are unavoidable. When stuff like that hits your face, sometimes the best thing to do is to just close your eyes and mouth, and think of a happy place..
Sage words. I have printed them out on a high res photo of a sunset and given to the good lady ;O)
Oh my word! My first framed work! I do wish that she will cherish that. It's especially useful during winter, of the world outside and the mind.
You are absolutely giddy today Mr. Boom! So happy not to be working from home, are we? Looking forward to two more days off, but not needing to work...the best! Beer Saturday is almost upon us. What do you have in store this week, Mr. Boom?
I have some fine beers for tonight!! I delicious looking Viking number I cant wait to try and perhsp a raspberry sour or wheat beer. Ihave a few but only choose two to review at a time! It is looking good though!
if you continue to misbehave, your boss will grab it against you ;)
I better hope for a lady boss then!
Saturday :-)! It is not fair the Scots have snow and we in Munich are hardly get any white landscape - it snowed today but too warm for it to stay.
Oh you are lucky. It's great at first then it's a pain in the arse!
I know but I like it - we had winter my car was not accessible for three months as of snow on, in front and behind the vehicle. Was awesome
Lol, 3 months is quite spectacular. I would like it if it didnt get all slushy and wet!!
I would love to sit in a cubicle next to you. It would be very entertaining. On the snow front, I got stuck just trying to get into my driveway today and had to shovel my car out. That was fun.
Lol, thats the joy of my work. None of this cubicle malarkey, its mostly open plan!!!
Ha, yes. I had to shovel a path from my driveway today. Its a pain in the arse!
cubicles have advantages and disadvantages ;)
Masturbation?!?! Smoking!?! My god man, such horror!
well it was worth going back to the office just to throw those words at him and see the reaction haahaha
And on a Friday too and we got to go home early! I feel like a teenager that has gotten away early from school!! :OD
Hooo, NOOO !!!! back to work, what a pity dear friend @meesterboom that you had to return to work and aguantyar the face of the boss "look like a baby who struggles to fart" I could not stand the laugh of just imagine my face
I think it looked like this.
Thank you very much for another quota of humor dear friend
I wish you good night
heheheh yeah, I am thinking it looked exactly like that!! It was rough being back but we got away early thanks to more snow! Hooray!! Cheers @jlufer!
Great post as usual. I've only been here for a few weeks, so I'm still a noob, well, at everything. You've inspired me to try and write something lighthearted....... I won't be rude and paste the link, but if you do have time to have a quick read, it would be greatly appreciated. Best from down under! Cheers.
I had a tad, it was quite funny. Well done!
Sounds like a fun way to start a day, lol. Guess he should watch for them elephants huh? Thanks for the laughs :-)
Everyone would always beware the Elephants!! Hehe
Lol especially how tall they are. What a mess that would be.
A good two pinter!
lmao :-)
Fridays and Snow Days - what could be better? We've had lovely weather the last couple of days here in wintry British Columbia, Canada (+5 is considered "balmy") ... but I know better than to think the snow is all over; not by a long shot, lol. Have a wonderful weekend! :)
I will have a smashing weekend and I hope you do too!
You really get proper cold over there. It puts our feeble winters to shame. I am already telling all and sundry that it is spring lol
Oh, I wish spring were that close! I think it's a couple of months away still, and they're calling for lots of snow over the next week or so ... yuk.
Aahhh, if you think it it will happen!!
That's how I get through these rubbish cold months anyway :0)
Hahaha I love Fridays too and glad to be here on your blog this Friday. Being ridiculously cheery when others aren't can put you in their bad books, but who cares cos it is Fridayyy. :)
I think exactly the same. Who cares and hurrah for Fridays!
Ah...... this intro pic was so confusing to me... at first I was all 'this story isn't even in a zoo... it's not even safari-related!' but then by the end it was amazing and the perfect pic to set the scene.
Do you normally have a tape yelling 'Elephant penis' at irregular intervals at the back of the office? Such a crafty fellow.
Hehe, I try to make the pic relevant and sometimes I lose the plot with it and get carried away! heheh
i was looking for something interesting , here i found it .
you are looking cool in the picture and the elephant is also , i also want to add that holidays are just love and we all love Fridays :)
Fridays are the best!! :O)
yeah, after a 6 or 5 days of working :) Fridays gives us life of happiness :)
But I don't shower I'm a homeless beggar. So I have to do it in my sleeping box :(
Aw shucks. You could always just leave it out. ;0)
Saved by the elephant penis joke!
Priceless.
I don't know where we would be if it weren't for elephant penii!
Cheers for friday
G Cheers mate!
I love working from home, I also love your nonpc humor😂
I think I have any pc humour, hehe :0D
Haha well at least you are able to crack witty jokes in the office with out people getting too offended. Happy Friday, no better way to start the day than a wank in the shower, or so I've been told
Apparently that's true... The shower thing... So they say.
Well, it's a tricky thing. Sometimes people get really hoity toity over the slightest thing!
lol Poor El Jefe..all covered in elephant sqwonk lol....I think every workplace has an El Jefe :) Makes the day more interesting!!
I think every place does too!! I think it's has more than one but fortunately ki am blessed with only him! Hehe
Respect in the workplace? haha never with the boss in the boss in the room! :D Happy Friday!
You are dashed right there! Happy Friday!
The good old bolo as we used to call it!! haha
This just made my Friday better. I do so hope that the strain wasn't more than he could bear, er...elephant.
So glad to hear you are enjoying the workday😆
I was!! Then believe it or not the snow came back with a vengeance and we are all sent home. Hooray!!! :0D Fridays like this rawk!
So, not only did you get to wind all your co-workers up with your exuberance, you also got a snow day too? Wow! A great day indeed! Cheers!
Yeah it was a win win all the way around!! :OD
El Jefe again? hahaha. I hope the snow is not that disturbing again. You never know when the weather can change.
@seyiodus.
He just keeps cropping up!!
Hahaha. Just because he is overrule. Oh my, lolx
Happy Friday! Stay warm, glad the worst is behind you. I think here in the Midwest (US) we're just getting started.
Oh dear, good luck with it all then!!!
It snowed in my country Croatia few days ago, too.
It only snowed for a few hours and it melted 10 hours later.
Weather is so weird these days.
A lot different than it was when my parents were younger (they say that xd).
You can't even expect snow on Christmas.
We usually get some serious snowing in February/March.
I even remember when we once had snowy Easter.
A snowy Easter would be kinda cool!
Our snow only usually lasts a day as well
Oh, those questions that race through our heads...
I wonder how many times you would be fired if that office conversation was even half true :D
Haha, you haven't seen our office!
Lol, What a scary place to work :D
It can be much fun! Despite what I say about it ;0)
Hmmm... You're probably right and I'm wrong :d
Have a nice night! :)
And you too!
;)
I love your mumma
Nice post
It's lovely, it smells of linament
Lol. Elephant penis!! Haha. Love it!!
:0)
happy friday nice post
Happy Friday! Up
hehehe... i see friday is fun. irrespective of the cold
It is, weeeee!
I wish I knew how it feels to experience snow over here in the western part of Africa... But it is good that you are a jovial person that likes putting smiles on other people's faces
I do, It is my job to do such a thing!
Hahahaha. We have no snow in my country, so no snow talk of any kind.
Your description is very good; it made me laugh too much the point of "Everyone else was as pleased to be back as I was by the looks of the downtrodden faces coming in the door" . The office days are usually boring and tiresome, but when friday arrives the passions are unleashed. Greetings.
They are indeed released and then the fun can begin!
Perfect, having fun after work on a Friday, is priceless. Greetings
HAHA, SO, HAPPY FRIDAY, FOR ME ARE NOT SO GOOD, BECAUSE I HAVE TO WORK, BUT ALWAYS ENJOY THIS!
Work is bad lol
First thing that came to my mind :p
dailyfoodphotography busy steemitfamilyph tilphilippines foodphotography
Haha, that seems apt!
LOL! Wtf! I'm never pasting links via mobile again lol
It's supposed to be this one! lol
Apologies, Mr Boom!
Oh lord that's hilarious!! Now it all makes sense!!!
Hey @meesterboom I must say I really enjoyed reading your story, kinda funny 😋
Feel free to check my blog if you would like @justynatina
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STOPHmm, snow you say! That light sprinkle of flakes you get in Scotland is undeserving to be called snow. Look at Scandinavia there can be seen some proper snow. While on topic, you Scots together with rest of nations should consider floating your island a bit south so Scandinavians can enjoy some benefits of Gulf stream. Or maybe are still holding grudge against Viking raids?
Lol, Its funny you mention Viking raids. I am drinking a viking beer!! Raar!!
Great post! Come with me!
Working from home...and then a Friday! No wonder you are so witty! (Um)