A most curious thing happened today whilst I was in a meeting. I had a coffee in my hand, making sure I was jacked on caffeine so that I wouldn't fall asleep and was listening to the usual mumbo jumbo nonsense talk.
And then...
That doesn't solve the problem with the Shadow I.T. we have.
Remarked a wispy bearded chap. I jolted out of my daydream. Shadow I.T.?
And what is this Shadow I.T. when it's at home?
I enquired.
The wispy bearded chap gave a start as though I had caught him masturbating into his mother's hat and darted his head from side to side. I noticed out of the corner of my eye a senior manager, Queso Grande, make a frantic cutting motion over her neck.
Wispy beard gulped.
Oh, it's nothing. Just some users doing stuff.
I opened my mouth to interrogate him further but was cut off by Queso Grande.
Let's move on shall we. We need to get these estimates in by close of play.
The subject moved back to dull stuff. I wasn't fooled however, Shadow I.T.!?! I bloody knew it. Didn't these people realise I had watched all of the X Files? Even that shit film a few years ago. There was obviously some huge secret project going on. Hell, perhaps the work we were doing was just a front for a villainous organisation with plans for taking over the world?
I scrutinised them with a fierce eye looking for signs. They were back to acting normal. Wittering on about T-Shirt sizing and forming squads to tackle problems - squads? That was a strange choice of word to use. Oh yes. Something was going down alright
After the meeting I loitered about waiting for wispy-beard. He looked the weakest of the bunch and I suspected I might be able to pull a Jack Bauer on him and get the lowdown on this mysterious Shadow I.T.
Maybe they would be impressed at my investigations and I would be asked to join the ranks? I wondered if I would have to kill someone with a spoon to prove myself. I hoped it would be a clean spoon. I can't abide a dirty spoon.
I could see in through the glass partition. Queso Grande was remonstrating with wispy-beard, it looked like an angry conversation. They both looked my way seemingly sensing my gaze.
I smiled and lifted my head in acknowledgement as if to say I am onto you fuckers.
They smiled back, like everything was normal and there wasn't a big naked elephant in the room fondling itself with a leathery toed foot. I walked off nonchalantly, best not to rouse suspicion. I had a spoon back at my desk. I decided to fetch it in case things kicked off and I found myself fighting for my life.
On the way to my desk, I popped to the loo. I had drunk a lot of coffee and seemed to have a bladder the size of a goats eye today.
Whilst I was washing my hands El Jefe blundered in and did a loud and rattly sounding pish into the urinal. Over his shoulder he called out.
Keeping yourself busy Boomdawg!
Aye.
I replied tersely. I wondered, could El Jefe be in on this? Surely not? Had he been sent to suss me out? To see if I was on the trail of the Shadow I.T.?
He finished up milking the elf and came over to the sinks to wash his grimy penis hands.
I had moved on to drying my hands with the paper towels. I looked at him square in the eye.
Was in a meeting there, they were talking about the Shadow I.T.
El Jefe jumped like I had thrown a big shit at him.
Who said that?
He asked tersely.
Aha, so this red faced baboon was in on it too! I threw my paper towels in the bin and walked past him. He reached out and grabbed my shoulder with his yet unwashed hands.
I looked in unfettered disgust at the hand on my shoulder. It was perilously close to my nose and I for one had no interest in finding out what his penis smelled like. I shook it off and arched an eyebrow at him quizzically.
It's... It's just... The users doing a thing.
He said lamely. His face fighting with itself in an effort to look like there was nothing to see here.
Just a thing eh?
I harrumphed like a freshly shaved bear then nodded sagely. It was confirmed. There was something going on. Something big. Something shadowy.
Faintly as if from a distance I thought I heard a saxophone playing. I turned up an imaginary collar and headed to the coffee shop to rack up some more black gold.
On the way, I made a vow. I would get to the bottom of this. They couldn't stop me.
And this was the last post we ever got from @meesterboom...
Been great knowing you old chap. No one beats the Shadow IT... no one, nothing, nada...
As a professional IT guy, I am the natural enemy of the Shadow IT. The Shadow IT is when the business goes around the IT department and purchases or builds a system via someone else. As an IT guy it's infuriating but as a human it's fair enough.... how many times has any person on this planet used the word 'amazing' next to the words 'IT department'...?
You told him and put blasphemous ideas into his head! We will have to disappear him now.
You are my enemy and I will defeat you!
Unless you are more efficient and/or more responsive to business needs... in which case I am powerless...
Is that it!! Hot dang, why the secrecy. They must be planning to smash it somehow! Top donk, you are the man!
I must admit I have never heard the word amazing used with IT before :0)
The secrecy is because if IT finds out, they'll lock these guys out of the systems and slow it down with budget requests and red tape. Hell hath no fury like a bureaucratic CIO.
Hahaha, you know that is exactly what will happen! Man, there is gonna be some exciting times ahead!
Oh snap, Sherlock Boom is on the case again! El Jefe & the cheese are up all night tonight deleting emails and text messages I'm sure.
I'm terribly sorry you were grimypenis-handed in the bathroom. It can be a thankless job I know. So i THANK YOU for your services in working to eliminate this shadowy business from the world.
Good day sir.
Its an awful thing to be on the receiving end of a grimy penis hand. I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy! :O)
A very good day to you!
Fo some reason, I expect to learn that the Shadow I.T. is not a shadow and has nothing to do with IT, and that BoomDawg just misunderstood something.
You know, I thought I had just misunderstood something but it seems there is such a thing!
Shadow IT is a term often used to describe information-technology systems and solutions built and used inside organizations without explicit organizational approval.
With the compliments of google - I had to go google it because I am quite a danger if it comes to anything technological - I say keep your eyes and ears open. Something is going on and who better to get to the truth than PI Meesterboom??
it is something SCARY! ^^
I think it might be!!!
Slowly I am enrriqusiendo my dialect, each publication I am recording some of his sayings to use them in some special occasion, where he requires height in the answer, today I am recorded in my "was startled as if he had caught masturbating in his mother's hat" and very eloquent when referring to the virile member "He finished milking the elf". a very perpish way of saying things, you are brilliant dear friend @meesterboom, I must admit that you can not stop thinking what it would be like to see that face.
excellent work dear friend, thank you very much for another fun day
Thats the face!!!
I am glad you like the way I write some of the crazier phrases!! :O)
Ooooh a mystery, and you are meestermulder haha, can I be scully? Damn living across a whole sea :( I would totally be scully.
Could you? Could you... WOULD YOU BE MY SCULLY!!!
That would be smashing. The paid of us, smashed and staggering about smoking sneaky fags and giggling a lot whilst uncovering the truth!!! :OD
Oh man, I can seriously see this hahaha, sooo fun! Thanks for making me laugh out loud, giggle and grin on the daily, I can't wait to stagger and sneak with you even if we're not uncovering shadows and just going pub to pub on my one day visit to you!
HAhaha, yeah, stuff the shadows!!! My kind of staggering!!
The X-files movie was really shit! Unlike your blog, which was really awesome...so many lines I couldn't even choose one!
It was utterly attrocious wasn't it!! I saw an interview and David Duchovny was trying to blame the fans claiming that they shouted for it and then didnt support it when really it was not that at all it was because the plot was shit!! lol!!
And thank you very much lass!!
Nothing escapes the ever watchful eye of Sherlock Boom! While you're at it, would you mind uncovering why the latest X-Files series doesn't quite measure up? This Shadow I.T. business.. I feel like it's a pandemic that has swept across the globe. I don't whether I should feel comfortable knowing they exist or whether I should join their ranks. Whatever the case, know that Jedauatson is right on your tail. Sitting on top of it.
Jedauatson!! Lol.
It seems to be a pandemic that everyone has been privy to except for me!! There ain't much left to detect... But I will, it might still be a secret villainous base!!
Ah the new X files. They should have just left it!
There were many cases we have cracked in the past, and whenever you feel like the pipe should be dusted, I am right there with you, witty banter and all!
It's all about that banter. No case can be cracked without it!
You do know what can be cracked without it, right? Eggs. We don't want no cracked eggs.
Jokes? We don't want no cracking jokes.
Nuts? We don't want no cracked nuts.
Heads? Well - maybe a few heads will be cracked.
Cracking jokes is like breathing air between the Boomster and I. With regard to the nuts, I tend to agree, but I won't confirm how many times nuts were cracked. After all, to quote a great man, a gentleman never tells. I do expect a few heads to be cracked though.
The Big Fromage with El Jefe and The Beard Whisperer!
or maybe it's more like this:
The Shadow Knows!
I always loved that quote, who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men!
I suspect thought it's the second one!
You are quite the gumshoe.
I am full of the detectivity :0D
Excellent story, i am egarly waiting to hear the rest, keep up the good works!
Why thank ya! The rest will be coming as soon as I find out more!
Trying to imagine how a freshly shaved bear harrumphs))))
With some gusto!!! :0D
I know what it is, but I couldn't possibly tell you, what with your being a user and all.
Aargh, I must know!!!!
The knowledge could push you over to the Dark Side, well beyond where mere users should dare tread.
I must train for this. One day I may be ready!
I've lost it when got to the bear part lmao! That was good! :DD
Why thank you!! I liked the bear part too! :0)
Shadow I.T. huh?
I had a shadow BLT at work the other day......meaning that I ate a BLT while hiding in the shadows to make sure that nobody was watching me.
I could have sworn I heard saxophone music playing then too....... but it could have just been the guy playing the saxophone that was standing behind me.
Watching me eat my shadow BLT.
Lol, I quite fancy the idea of a shadow BLT. I must do this, without the sax player of course! :O)
Lol if i ever meet El Hefe in person, i won't be able to look at him straight in the eye without laughing.
With regards to getting to a solution to this Illuminati- backed Shadow IT puzzle, it is a job for Uncle Boom.
Today I wished I was channeling more Uncle Boom!!
If you meet him in person you can tell him I'm just joshing and please not to sack me lol!
LOL!
ha ha, love it.
I really want to know what this Shadow I.T. is now.... you better get to the bottom of this. We are all counting on you!
Darryl (@dadview) resides in Canada. He is an active member of The Alliance and teamcanada
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I will do my best detective work!!!
I enjoyed your humor immensely! Thank you for the lasting smile on my face!
Wayhay, I love to hear that. Thank you!
Those guys thought that they will pull one big one and a gentleman wont know? I wonder why you never use your cane on them buggers!!! I wish you a happy weekend..
If I had my cane with me then who knows what would have happened! ;O) Have a good one dude!
"caught him masturbating into his mother's hat". LOL!! Paints a picture that years of therapy couldn't remove. You may have had to endure the receipt of additional knowledge regarding eau de Jefe schwanz, but it was a small price to pay in moving one step closer to saving civilization.
Small price indeed!! It is a good picture that one. Although one hopes that their arent too many hat painters out there! :O)
Sounds like a case for Detective Boomer a.k.a The whiz kid! (always stopping to take a whiz)
Le Grand Fromage better grow some eyes in his neck! And learn a thing or two about Etiquette de toilette!
Etiquette is something that shall be thrown that way yes!!
I shall stop for those whizzes and teach them! :P
I can imagine a tweed cloak, topped with a deer stalkers hat and a large mearsham pipe blowing clouds of smoke, with Dr Watson trotting along behind, trying to keep up and write his notes at the same time.
That's exactly what I was imaging today through the haze of caffeine and Friday joy!
It is a mystery worthy of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle! Except I don't think he used such phrases as
ROFL
Rofl, I even had to go back and re-read that one a few times after I wrote it!! I was like, where did that come from!
I can't believe he touched your jacket! Didn't his dad ever teach him not to touch anything in a public bathroom? Parents these days!
Arrrrgh.... They most have noticed your sleepy eyes before the meeting started.
So they decided to do talk a bit above your head.
Please where do I get that exact kind of coffee that stopped your tea. I am always guilty of snoring during meetings.
It's not so much the type but the quantity!! Here
Confess Boom! You know you can't keep it a secret forever!
(click to enlarge)
I read this out aloud to my wife and we couldn’t stop pissing ourselves at your story. The Mike Hammer Theme pushed us over the edge! Hilarious! Your best one yet!
Hehe, cheers dude! I hoped some might get the Mike Hammer bit lol!!
milking the elf ??? OMG, I lost it! LMAO!
It's the little touches! ;0)
I loved your story and you must finish telling us what is the end of this mystery that is the Shadow IT ... You managed to keep my attention from beginning to end ... and I did not like that the Boss placed his dirty hand over your shoulder, that was a direct threat, it is important that you act immediately to prevent the bomb from exploding in your face and you can be the victim ... I am waiting for the closure of the story that has been very good. Congratulations meesterboom. Greetings
Greetings! I am glad you were engrossed!! I shall update further when I have more information!!
Wow, will you be able to enter that dark organization? or will it be that they will disappear you for knowing too much?
Someday we will know?
Nobody can disappear this man!!!! ;0)
No way man, this is quite hilarious
Cheers mate!
I think adding myself is very good @meesterboom
How do you add yourself?
you mean yourself @meesterboom.
Ah, you mean because I am in the story! That's cos it happened! It's real! :0)
Great .... Very interesting post and useful for all steemian, can open the insight for us all about it, and this is a post that I've been waiting for a long time ..
Well that is a mighty fine thing. Do you think you will use the second trick to increase your votes or the third top increase your views?
Of course .. Karna this is the best way to go for the future .. Thank you the information sir .. I am ready to follow your post and ready votes
Spread them wide then, I'm coming!
You've become the incredible investigator. Lol
I have. Iwill buy clothes to match the image! :O)
Dude you have an imagination as wide as the whole universe hahahahahha
Secretly we always knew strange things were going on in IT offices, but nobody ever dares to talk about it, before they vanish into thin air.....
You are a funny person, meesterboom. Although I don't understand what is going on with Shadow IT, the toilet scene is the funniest for me. Upvoted!
I do like trying to be funny! :0)
If you have time visit my profile
Did you think of voting before you spammed me? Why would I visit your profile when you have done nohing for me?
Interesting post.Very amazing way of describing a story.Its improve my mood and waiting for next part.Thanks for sharing this story with us.
Oh Muhammad, you are just a comment spammer looking for upvotes. You didnt even vote the post. You know what happens to those sort on my blogs?
It starts with a 'F'
:OD
I upvote your post and I am not a Comment spammer.I like your post and then comment it.And I do not need your upvote.
If I hadnt called you out you wouldnt have voted. You voted after I flagged your comment. Do you think you are the only person doing this? If you really like a post then vote for it then comment, Dont just throw comments about hoping for upvotes.
Hello nice to meet you... follow me plz and vote me too yes... hehe
Hohoho!! You are a funny one! :O)