You remember we are going to Sprog Rock today?
The Good Lady's voice danced through the air and landed in my ears with a heavy thump.
Sprog fucking what?
I stopped playing a metal version of All I want for Christmas is you on guitar and looked up at the madwoman claiming to be my wife.
We talked about this. I managed to get us free tickets to Sprog Rock today. We are all going. it is going to be lots of fun.
She lowered her book menacingly from the armchair across from me and glowered with her little caterpillar eyebrows. I caught a glimpse of the book cover before it disappeared out of sight and repressed a snort at the words indomitable and relatable heroine on it.
No doubt there was lesbianity in it. Not the good kind mind but the dull horrible kind full of accidental touches and longing glances instead of frantic scissorbanging.
I don't remember this Sprog Rock nonsense. Is it a panto?
My lips curled in distaste as I said the word Panto. Damn, I hated those things with a passion. Nobody told me when I almost singlehandedly made a baby with my sperms that I would be punished for years afterwards by being forced to go to Panto. No, it's not panto. That's next week. Beauty and the Beast. She smirked, no doubt because she knew that she had told me a hundred times about the panto and each time the words just sailed through my head and out again to where they couldn't hurt someone. Oh God, Beauty and the Beast. Truly I have died and gone to hell. I looked up at the ceiling wondering if a God that I didn't believe in would pull me up out of this infernal pit I called life and let me in the upstairs club. Highly unlikely, I know but so was the chance of me getting a Solar Guitar for Christmas but I still lived in hope. Behave. She threw something fluttery at me which I batted out of the way. That is next week. Today we are going to Sprog Rock and it will be fun. Somehow she pressed down hard on the last part of the sentence so that the words pounded at my head like a Goat butting at the door of Billy Joel's bedroom in a frantic effort to escape. But what is Sprog Rock? I mean, who says Sprogs when they mean kids? It sounds so fucking twee. I shook my head wishing that I had drunk more last night and was still seeing the world through the cheery blur of alcohol. It is music for kids made with kids. It's got a beatboxer! She said beatboxer with the obvious delight of someone who doesn't know that a beatboxer is just a dude who farts and spits into a microphone. Oh god, a fucking beatboxer. What else? What other delights can there possibly be? I hoped the sarcasm in my voice was detectable to someone that thought Panto and beatboxing was high entertainment. The Good Lady sighed in a long-suffering way before picking up her book again and shaking her head at me. Before she could start reading she barked out a laugh and looked up. I think some of the band are dressing up as dinosaurs! She lifted the book to hide her face and shuddering laughter. It didn't work very well. Dinosaurs. Oh fuck. I better go and get petrol for the car. I got up and grabbed my wallet. Maybe on the way to the petrol station, I would crash the car in a ditch and lose a leg in the mangled wreckage. One can only
oh yes they did!... Oh no they... hang on.. fuck off with that shit.
hop hope.
I think what's missing from this whole performance: the Teletubbies, the vampire dancers with size 4 breasts, Elon Musk and the Terminator.... But that's probably not the whole list. That's what Rambo just told me, but I don't think he's real, so period! 😜
!LUV
!invest_vote
That sounds like the kind of show I want to be part of!
If only! :OD
Cheers!
Cheers! 😜🙌
!invest_vote
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Oh boy, 'tis the season for this kind of thing I guess. Are THC gummies legal where you are? They might make things a little more interesting for you. Lol.
Hahah, they would have made a good difference I would think. Sadly ,they have locked down almost every kind of illicit substance known to man here apart from alcohol which everyone overindulges in. Probably because of the lack of alternative!
Up until very recently we lived in a State that didn't allow anything (Minnesota) but the dems slipped a THC bill through as an addendum to another bill when no one was paying any attention. Skunk is now the official scent of our city. Lol.
Hahah,, that is quite clever of them. There is little chance of that here because we are ruled by posh twits from Victorian times and they all like to preach about drugs being bad mmmkay, but it is totally different for them of course!
The sprog fucking whot mate 😂😂😂😂
Good God you're something else 😂😂
How have ya been mate😎😜 clearly ripping up the Christmas tunes🎄🤶🎅🤣🤣
I have been quite good mate!! Hope you have too. I am counting down the days to Christmas and finding work for a couple of weeks!!! :0D
So basically you got roped into going to see Barney..
It was like tgat at times!! But maybe worse!!
As soon as you said dinosaur I immediately thought of that purple sadistic fucktard. I don't even have kids so I was only subjected to it at the neighbors house, his kids loved Barney..
Thankfully mine dont like him so much. I don't think i could take it!
I had to look up what a "Panto" was lol. I don't think that we have those in Canada. I've never heard of one. We just have the usual - orchestra, musicals, plays and that sort of thing. No mimes on stage 🤣
All I can think of when I read the words "Sprog Rock" is this:
Sounds like the real thing isn't too far off...
Oh you have no idea how lucky you are not to have panto. It's horrible interactive theatre where they shout at you to join in all the time and they can never fucking hear you. I despise it but have two pretend I am good with it for the kids. Boo hiss!!
If only it was half as entertaining as fraggle rock 🤣🤣
Lmao 😂
Yeah that doesn't sound pleasant at all. Sometimes you have to do these things for kids though.
I know, they loved it. I smiled and threw my hands up in the air and yelled along whilst dying inside. Who says I ain't a good sport! :OD
Seeing the rising petrol prices, the crashing soon will be cheaper. :-D
Haha.
Haha, the prices are coming down here!! I was glad to see that it was not longer costing me a mortgage to fill her up!!
Oh that sounds mighty grim Boom.
Nice looking ax there. I am hoping old Santa can find a mandolin for me, but not holding out much hope for that...
A mandolin would be nice!! I hope you are pleasantly surprised. I know I won't be by the lack of guitar goodness, lol!
Music made by kids.... And remember you have to smile because you LOVE being there and LOVE spending your free time there. Maybe you can still fake an acute attack of manflu?
It's too late for faking. I should have started the fakery last night but I was too busy drinking beer and singing!!
It's gonna be awful and I do have to pretend... Sob!
hehe and you being out yesterday is the main reason on having the mandatory family time now. Take 1 second, give one week
The only solution now is the sneaky drink from the side pocket
I can imagine taking a sneaky drink like that. No doubt done other suffering dad's would spot it and be badgering me for a share!!
Sprogs damn do kids still get called that!
Ah well have fun, it's sounds like some sort of Singing Kettle thing 😮
Isn't that classified as torture?!?!
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they’re so full of themselves.
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It is! I have never been the same since I saw that!!! 🤣🤣
hehe kids loved it!
It is like that, only probably not as 'good!'
I haven't heard anyone use the word sprogs for ages, it's partly that that makes me think it will be an awful thing by poyor of touch old people!!
lol not as good! Oh well hope you have some fun, maybe you can do your Jack Black School of Rock cameo.
I might do my hiding at the back like the phantom of the opera cameo :0D
haha very apt :)
The solar guitar is a beauty and the price is ufff US$ 1,399.00 woo that's quite a lot, but it must have a heavenly sound, but please don't crash your car into the gas station I think you better enjoy the metal event,and once again the beautiful story of Beauty and the Beast which by the way my niece who lives in California just performed it, and it was spectacular ...well I didn't go, but I saw the pictures.
Receive my fraternal greetings, Mr @meesterboom
Hello hello!!! Ah yes, that guitar looks spectacular. I bet it does sound amazing too. Perhaps not in my hands but it would be a lovely thing to behold!!
I didn't crash the car so my date is sealed 😀
Tell me how it went at the concert and in Beauty and the Beast, I assure you that I will enjoy your narrative. thank you.
I will, I am sure it might actually be fun. Just before it I always think meh
It will be fun. We are almost at Christmastime and the Christmas air lightens our spirits. 👏🌲🙌
It does indeed. Our house is a cheery place at the moment!
Awwww what a sweet wish that this Christmas will be full of life and health in union with your beloved family the best place to feel full (well almost always) hahahaha
🤣 maybe you can have car trouble!
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I almost did as well as it is snowy and icy here. My brain is obviously not fully engaged!!
I didn't mean literally! Just disappear into somewhere fun for a while 😂
Have some !PIZZA , stay !ALIVE , and always !LOL
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Hehe, always!!! I will be dissipating into the crowd at this thing!
Have fun :)
By hook or by crook I will!!
Dudes dressed up like dinosaurs, beatboxing?
Want to loan my Sako TRG M10?
Google it.
Do you know, I did Google it but even before the results came up I had a feeling it would be that familiar rifle of yours!!
Might need something more close quartery!! :0D
A morning star should do the job well for close quarters purposes.
Lol. I was watching House of the Dragon last night and there was a great scene with a morning star. I was like hit him in the head! And he did! I have not been so satisfied since Vikings!
It is an effective attitude adjuster.
One must have one, in every colour.
Heh heh, can you imagine, a rack of different coloured morning stars. For the Knight who might!
Lol, one must accessorise.
That's a spiked flail. Boo! A proper mace would be far better.
Morning star, mace, brick...generally a similar result.
I’m not sure what all of this shit means hahaha is a panto a play? Pantomime?
How did the shit and spray, aka beat boxer, go? It sounds like it would be a little strange to have that for a kids event lol but it could be worse, you could be getting forced to go to a drag show like the fucking weirdos in America. That’s some serious car crash desire there! Lol
It is like an interactive play where they shout at you and you have to shout back a lot and all the kids love it whilst adults like me cringe and try to hide!
The beat boxer, lol. In the end I felt quite sorry for him because he seemed like a real beat boxer but he was kinda muted behind the keyboards, drums, singing and Saxophone so you could only hear an occasional dshh, prrt prrt and see him running about with a mic glued to his face!
Hahah that sounds brutal. I get why the kids like it but it doesn’t sound like an adult time.
It was far far from it!
LoL, this sounded like you were having lots of fun in the inner room;
I had to go look up what “panto” really means because sincerely never Heard such words before only for me to find the DC universe 😂 character joker, lol not really him though they looked like freaking clowns .
Haha, I never even thought for a minute that panto was a particular punishment of British people. Of course, now that I think about it I shouldn't be surprised that it is. It's the worst thing ever!
LoL, it is for real 😅
I clicked that guitar thinking you must've moved, it's solar for fucks sake! Solar anything in UK is destined to fail. But it's a brand name, not a power source, that makes sense.
Damn, you mean it can't heat my home as well as sounds like a choir of angels??
That's it, I'm done. This damn 21st century just keeps messing with my head!
You ain't kidding. I just read the other day guitars don't wanna be called guitars anymore after that whole violin, cello, and string cheese debacle.
It's probably an identity thing. Someone will be going mad on Twitter about it 😀😀
😆
At your finest, Sir!
My son had to ask multiple times what I'm laughing at while I read this.
Have fun! 😈
p.s. take photos of you hugging a Dino please.
There was no hugging! I absolutely insist that there was nohugging and if there are pictures I demand they be destroyed for the filthy lies that they obviously are! :OD
What's your wife's facebook profile thingy again? 😈
Blimey! My break has ended and I’m still sat here chucking to my phone 😂😂😂
Love your sarcasm. Have fun Sir! 😂😂😂
I think sarcasm is the highes form of wit! :OD Cheers!
"No doubt there was lesbianity in it. Not the good kind mind but the dull horrible kind full of accidental touches and longing glances instead of frantic scissorbanging."
I reread these words several times and cannot believe they were not a quote from Robert Frost.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry the lesbianity involved no scissorbanging
😂
Hahahhahah, ah yes. Worthy of the great man himself those words!
Nobody wants boring lesbianity after all ;OD
I hope this was the good one because next week there is PANT to be had. I am waiting for the written review of it.
Was it as bad as you thought?
It wasnt the best says me desperately attempting to be diplomatic. Even my oldest was not very impressed although the little boom was. It was just so twee and it was also weird like the "band" seemed like they thought they were a genuine band with good tunes but instead it was twoddle that kids would enjoy!
I had better not say too much in case they google themselves and my post pops up. God that would be mortifying!
Are there myriad crotch goblins on stage pretending (badly) to play and sing along to pre-recorded twee tripe?
It was that with the one advantage that at least they played everything live. So in that respect it saved itself slightly!
I was at my first panto last weekend. Cinderella. Never again.
Thats some guitar by the way. Hope you have been good.
I will never get that guitar. The Good Lady has a heart attack every time I hint for it!!
Panto is shit, I will have to get drunk to get through beauty and the it's behind you blah blah!
Does anyone actually enjoy panto? The jokes are always terrible and panto dames are as bad as clowns. The only thing worse are human statues.
Still not quite sure what Sprog Rock sounds like, but I suspect it's not aimed at you. My daughter used to be into Hi 5, but I avoided going to the live show.
I'm all for getting kids into music, but skim the twee stuff and go straight for the source, e.g. Led Zep.
I keep trying to get them more interested in real music but alas the more I try the more they resist.
It was a weird fusion of ska and pop. it was funking awful to be honest but the guitarist was not bad even if he did have a rubbish dirty sound when he clicked it on!
Don't get me started on human statues, what the hell is the point!!!
Musicians have to pay the bills and a steady gig playing crap for kids may pay more than dozens of pub gigs. Any playing is going to hone your skills.
I think they will have made a bit of cash from it and others as the venue itself was quite a big old art venue. Parents are fools for parting with their money for these things
In Canada, CBD and THC was legal "ish" for dogs before humans were allowed to buy it.... I looked for you ... but alas. Only alcohol for you.....
Good luck
The dog suit won't even work! Aiyee!!!
The whisky will just have to do .. I suppose 😀😀
Haaaaaa, what a difference in rhythm, you're playing metal music and you're going to see some kind of children's concert haaaaaaa, well, I guess it's those things that make marriage more pleasant, yes, of course haaaaaa
It was a total contrast. They were paying their songs on stage and all I could think was, how has it come to this!!!
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