Ah, Sunday. Glorious Sunday. A day for relaxing. A day for staring at the walls and wondering where it all went wrong. A day for coffee and eggs but not lady-eggs. Oh no. They have caused enough trouble.
Should we take the bins in? I just noticed we forgot to yesterday.
The Good Lady interrupted my Sunday musings by frowning at the front window as if catching sight of one of her overwashed and tired grey bras making a run for it out of the front door.
I looked up resentfully from my coffee cup with narrowed slitty eyes.
The bins. Yeah, I will get them later.
I went back to staring at my phone and sipping my coffee.
Where was I? Ah yes. Sundays are a fine day. A day for nothing. A day for Hiving and jiving and perhaps the odd snicket of chocolate. A day for...
When was the last time we cleaned the fish tank?
The Good Lady's voice rang out stridently blatantly shitting on my Sunday parade.
I dunno, I think the last time you cleaned it was... let me think... Never?
Smugly, I congratulated myself on my debonair wit. It was a damned good job I wasn't at an Ambassador's party because no doubt a variety of thickly accented poshos would insist I deserved all of the Ferrero Roché.
We definitely need to clean it, it looks a little green.
She had marched over to said tank and peered into its murky snail and fish-ridden depths. Something inside glumped and shifted about in the murk.
I got out of my chair and quickly ran to her side, drawing her gently away from the thing that should not be that lurked within that tank.
Don't go near that.
I whispered lest it hear.
It's just a bloody fish tank, don't be such an arse.
She brushed me off and continued to pace about the house as if looking for a skateboard to Ollie on.
Aye aye, ok. I will clean the tank later. Jeez. Can I finish my coffee in peace?
I grunted grumpily as I sat back down like a Russian getting to the bottom of his bowl of pig foot stew.
The Good Lady stopped pacing and attempted to click her fingers which was a sad affair similar to someone rubbing two wet sticks together.
You know, maybe we should paint the bedroom today? We have been talking about it for ages.
She nodded happily.
Yes. That's it. We can paint the bedroom! What do you say?
She gazed down at me in delight.
I glowered back up at her and heaved myself to my feet once more so we were standing toe to toe.
Right you. What is all this 'we' pish?
I growled unhappily like a person who owns one of those hairless cats suddenly realising how horribly freaky they actually are.
Eh? What do you mean?
Hurt dripped from the Good Lady's voice.
You know exactly what I mean?!? Do you realise that when you say we you actually mean me? Can we do this, can we do that? Fucking hell, just ask me to do something straight out and not pretend it is some magical joint adventure when you want me to do something?
I stuck my bottom lip out like Johnny Depp when writing one of his text messages about the missus to his mates.
Alright, alright. No need to be so touchy.
She pouted before her lips quirked up in a smile.
Shall we drink some wine tonight?
She fluttered her eyelashes.
I gave her a flat look then rolled my eyes.
Yes, maybe we should have some wine tonight.
I smiled.
Good! We can have it after we take out the bins, clean the fish tank and paint the bedroom!
She laughed.
I glared after her as she tromped away.
Git.
Oh and that's right. I'm posting this on Monday because WE had so much to do yesterday. Sob!
So did she help take out the bins, clean the fish tank and paint the bedroom?
Though only one of those things would be done faster with two people.
There's a few things in the house that one or the other of us has to take care of whether we want to or not, and some multiple person things where we drag each other or one of the kids (because they're all teenagers and generally capable of doing most things) but for everything else it's very much "if you want it done right now do it otherwise shut up".
How was the wine :)
Ahaaa, the 'we' sentence. An encoded way to state: 'you have to do it'. (And as soon as possible, meaning: right now.)
Could it be a universal phenomena, perhaps? 🤔
'We' really need to do some vacuum cleaning. And what are 'we' going to make for diner?
'Us' thinks 'we' might have a headache later this evening. So 'we' must not have high hopes for some porking. After all 'we' would be way too tired anyway, doing all those tasks in one day.
Next up, calling each other Mothers and Fathers? "Does Fathers want his tea already?", "Well Mothers, you know me, only if it comes with a biscuit to match."
... When one starts to talk like that, there's no way back.
Sundays without a mancave around to hide in are to be blamed for that.
I think it most definitely is a universal phenomena!
The worst just be as you state above shall we make dinner I am often chopping and boiling things thinking hang on, where did she go!?
I miss my mancave, I normally his in the garage but it's too damn cold for it!
A good friend of mine has got the ultimate mancave: a tiny pub! He made it in the shed behind his house. (It is heated.)
We have beer tasting evenings there every now and then. For him it is just a few steps away. He's blessed.
It's freaking awesome!
That is truly awesome. The fact it is heated is just the icing on the cake. If I ever get my garage fixed up enough I might consider doing the same!
I have sorted the roof, now it is the other bits that are falling apart.
I can imagine many a pleasant eve spent there!
You are an incredibly lucky man. Your wife is an angel. My wife bought me 20m of window film today and expects every piece of glass to be perfectly finished tomorrow.
She's watched you tube videos and says it's easy...
She never owned an old car in the 80s that she tried to mirror tint with some shit Charlie Brown's film...
Enjoy the wine...
Ahhhhh, lol! I saw cars with their own tint applied. It never seemed to end well!!
YouTube videos always make it looks so easy and then yo udo it and it doesn't even matter. It is like when I was attempting to do a better caulking (ooer) and watched some videos on it and they were all balls!
I presume your wife doesn't say "we" though. It sticks right in my craw!
The wine was good tho :OD
She says exactly that! 'we' need to do this, 'we' need to do that but again, I am here to make you feel better as if I retort in a similar way, I'd have been on rations for a decade...as it is , my mouth gets me into so much trouble I'm banned till 2027! Luckily however, this is Thailand and there's always a 'happy ending' ;-)
Haha, in that case I am glad I am not alone! My lip usually gets me in quite the bother. I try so hard sometimes too not to let it run away with me!
'Happy endings' make everything worthwhile :OD
You married a good lady.
Wait until you have the chance to remind her that "we" have a colonoscopy tomorrow, so we need to drink this colon-blau to clean the pipes and hope that we will clean the toilets tomorrow. ;)
That would be a fine revenge. I have many other similar things in mind that I might have to say that we have to do! She just might have given me something I can use for years! :OD
Ugh ! What a horrid way to flush that good Sunday vibe.
I hope that wine was amazingly good enough to make up for it all.
It was a shitey Sunday. I was not amused! The wine however did quite make up for it! Although I have a sore shoulder from all the fecking painting. getting older sucks!
All I can think about reading this
Hahahahah, aye. With a bit less chin and moustache that was about it :OD
I never use we! No lie! That is not straightforward and would never fly. I actually ask straight out if I want something done.
Do you still have that fish tank? Ewww! Who puts their hands in it to clean it? 😮
Slobberchops had a good point about the bins being stolen. Especially when they charge for replacements.
I say you probably cleaned the fish tank and brought in the bins. Anything more, you should have been paid overtime for.
I much prefer being asked straight out. That way I can grumble about being asked properly without it seeming like I am somehow not on the team! Maybe that's it, she is deploying management speak against me.
I did it all. Hurt my shoulder slightly painting the darmned roof. And it needs a second coat, grrr!
I don't think anyone would steal the bins in my street. It is rather a genteel area! Our house is a bit shit but it was the price we paid to get in that area if you get me. We could have got a massive mansion somewhere less lovely. Glasgow, much as I love it can be a rough old place still so it is nice to live in a happy place :OD
Grow a pair man!!!! give her a paint brush and mansplain how it should be done from the comfort of the lay-zee-boy.
isn't it strange how men crumble at the promise of "drinking a little wine tonight"
Hahaha! I normally do! I am the first to use these opportunities to push all her equality and no such thing as a mans jobness back on to her.
Sunday's are my kryptonite though, I usually hide from the world nursing a hangover. She caught me when I was weak! :OD
Good work!!!
Your lady alas, has sussed you out!!
Oh aye, she is like some devious raptor that knows my weaknesses! :OD
🤣👍
Haha.
Haha, nice quip, ah yes, all those man jobs that don't count when sharing out the other housework. So what if you mow the lawns, put the bins out, weed the yard, paint what needs painting! :)
I love the use of We when clearly we is you! And all ya wanted to do was sit in peace and have a good scratch and a cup of coffee.
Lady eggs have caused wars!! Lol.
Aye man, I just wanted to chill and got worried by a barrage of should we's there was no we!!
They collect the bins on Saturday? I don't think the bin dudes get out of bed on that day here.., unless it's a Bank Holiday.
Lol, no. The bins generally get collected on a Thursday and because I'm working and also because I'm a lazy bugger I often don't get them till Saturday or even Sunday. I think my neighbours think I am a tramp that brings the neighborhood down!
Haha.., someone bastard could nick them, and the councils charge for replacements.., beware!
Hehe, that's a very valid point!! I bet they charge a fair whack for them too.. Maybe I will try to be a bit less lazy during the week!
Oh, Sir! @meesterboom I think that's how my husband looks at me when on Sunday he is pleasantly relaxed on his sofa and I start I think we should vacuum the house, I think we should clean the kitchen cabinets, or we have to clean the garden...hahaha he looks at me wanting to take him to the gallows the good thing is that after we take a break and celebrate the cleaning and moving of energies in the home...things that happen between married couples who share the housework...will it be? What do you think?
It is true that when everything is done it leaves time for other less annoying things!!
But I think me and your husband are of a same mind on a Sunday, lol!
Totally you and my husband are of the same thought hahahaha 🤗
He is obviously a fine fellow :0)
🙌
Lol so sorry for the so much you two had to do... I'm glad you didn't dump all the work on her as planned lol.
This was a funny read and damn! I could bet that coffee got tired of you and went cold before you finished it 😅
The coffee did. It was very un-understanding! Thank God for microwaves 🤣🤣
Lol so funny!
Lol. I try :0)
Oh you poor man lol..next time demand the wine first or the whole thing's a wash
That's a bloody marvellous idea! If I got gished enough I wouldn't care about the chores!
Try it! It will make a great story no matter the outcome lol
It might be one step too close to becoming a homeless vagrant! lol!
My friend this is the transformation of a relaxing Sunday into hell... I don't envy you at all!
I don't want to rage but I spent Saturday and Sunday with a lot of idleness, yes something had to be done at home but nothing major and above all... I ate up to a pig, I started on Friday to finish on Saturday evening, I forfeited all the calories one week lol!
However, that of the glass of wine seemed more like blackmail than an invitation to share!
That is how I like to spend my weekends and in the past have had many a happy lazy one. Now though it seems that these ones are rare indeed!
The wine might have been blackmail but it was flipping lovely :O)
eh eh You sweated that wine and in my opinion it was even better!
Anyway don't think that all my weekends are like this... it was a coincidence, lol!
Hahah, I bet they all are! Long glorious weekends of happiness whilst I toil away :OD
But in the end they are worth it... and then if they are glorious it couldn't be otherwise!
Agreed!
The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across the desert when they see a war party of Apache headed toward them. "Looks like we're in trouble, Tonto," says the Lone Ranger, as he looks toward his sidekick. "What this 'we,' paleface?" replies Tonto.
According to the internet, this joke is now racist. I await the woke mob cancellation efforts.
It's a fine joke though isnt it! Sometimes the internet is barmy!
I'll drink to that. !BEER
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BEER.Sunday, bloody Sunday! Life admin hey. Worst on a Sunday. I was contemplating a fish for the kid, but you just convinced me otherwise! I hope you both enjoyed the wine though!
!PIZZA
Oh heck, don't get fish. The cleaning is such a pain in the chuff. You have to do it each week or the tank gets horrible. Ugh, I wish we didn't have em.
The wine was lovely though :0D
I thought I fish would be chilled, those tiny tank ones. im the worst mom because I don't want pets because I don't want to clean up after them. But I'm busy man! Can't deal.
Yeah, thats exactly what I thought. Get fish, they swim about and look pretty and are as low maintenance as you can get. Buy them and the shop guy is like. So if yo udo the water every week you should only have to clean and replace the filter every two weeks with maybe a deep clean of the gravel every four weeks. I am like ,wtf?!
The fish tank must have smelled like moss 😁
I think it smells far worse than moss usually!!
Indeed. I have taken care of fish at home only once, and no more again.
I would never get them again. I would rather have some kind of big furry animal that at least acknowledges your presence!
True LOL here with the 'husband wife banter', been there done that, as they say.
Tho, not to stop you from having such fodder for future forays into Sunday mornings, have you seen those magnetic cleaners? I have one in both of my tanks. They are a heavy magnet and a scratchy glass safe bit that sits INSIDE the tank and the magnet is a handle that is on the OUTSIDE of the glass and grabs it. I leave mine ON the tank down in the corner. Then every couple of days, you just grab it and pull it about and it cleans off all the algae on the glass. True it doesn't clean the gravel/plants, but a good ole algae eater will do that for you. And they're kind of fun to use.
Oh I have seen them before! I saw a turbo sized one for cleaning your house windows. I always thought that was ripe for a bit of window breaking but they would be perfect on a fish tank! I am going to get one. I have only one fish and some strange shelled things but still. It will be worth it! Cheers m'dear!
Hahahha, what a day. You sunday was a hell of a lot more active than mine was, in saying that though, I've been meaning to paint my office, as much as I'm dreading it I need to give my self a bit if a kick up the arse and get it done.
!PIZZA !LOLZ
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My Sunday was far too active. I just like to sit and play guitar and drink coffee not paint!!
Good luck when you get around to it, it's worth it but a thankless task!
Sounds like the creature from the back lagoon.
Either that or the Monster of Loch Ness is actually tiny.
There is something in there. Something dark and foreboding!!
I did clean it though, at trial of life and limb!! :0D
You are a brave warrior.
I didn't boil all that leather for nothing!! :0D
:<)
The concept of priorities seems to differ a lot between the sexes. My other half has lots of ideas about improving the house, but I could quite happily carry on as it is. Just have to find some compromise. Luckily mine is often happy to slob out on a Sunday.
Yeah, it is the same here. Mine thinks everything needs rejinkef and painted and fixed somehow and I look around and think aw, I love my house!
Haaaaaaa, the bad thing is that it's Sunday, supposedly a day to rest
Exactly mate,I dont want to do anything on a Sunday!
Oh yes i agree with you Sundays are days for nothing,a very free day, like i literally look forward to sundays😄
Another good piece @meesterboom
It is my favourite day! Do nothing but relax that is what they should be all about!
Good story my friend, reading it is like experiencing it
Well, thank you very much :0)
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"Looks like Sunday just became a 'chore day' for you, my friend! But at least you'll have a clean fish tank, freshly painted bedroom, and empty bins to show for it. And let's not forget, the promise of wine at the end of it all. Cheers to that!"
That's Chat GPT's "witty reply" after reading your post. I was going to use it as my own until I realized that it's probably even lamer than any attempt that I would have made... you know, if I wasn't such a lazy SOB.
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One of her bras made a break for it and all she did was frown??!! I'd be chasing after that shit, where tha fuck you think you're going you bastard you think you're gonna find a better life on someone else's tits get back here!!!
What color did you paint the bedroom? Aquarium green?