I Don't Know Where I'm Going With This
Yet.
Every step you take will change the world. If you don't believe me, ask yourself how your footprints came to be.
Humiliation
Maybe I'll start there.
As a young child, I'd wake up nearly every morning, soaked in my own piss. Some called it bed-wetting but by the age of seven I had already figured out how to call it, fuck this and I hate my life.
I'd wake up, not want to be alive, then get on with my day. Somehow, I'd always find a way.
I was far too young to be dealing with that kind of stress; hated making a mess.
I had no way of knowing then, the world was teaching me how to cope with humiliation, in the most fucked up way one could imagine.
I look around, directly at society, I see many still protecting themselves from being humiliated. Blocking out the knowledge and power required to be able to handle any situation; setting themselves up to fear the unknown. The victims of their own self-inflicted manifestations of worry.
When the outside appearance of your own illusions shatter and crumble to the ground, all that is left is the inside capable of growing a new skin. Like a bone, the sight of a break heals stronger, but only for a short time.
Humiliation only hurts for a short time and anyone who allows it to be a period of growth, gains strength.
Those who hide, stunt their growth.
Invincibility is often confused with the ability to go unharmed, physically. People want that superficial nonsense, in their dreams. How often are bullets flying past your head? Not as often as the gaze of an onlooker. Not giving a fuck what they think trumps invincibility and can actually be accomplished without the help of fantasy.
Not giving a fuck sounds negative to those trained in the art of superficial nonsense and bigotry, so they'll hide from a life of feeling unbothered and replace it with a reason to be offended the moment someone says it's cool to just chill.
Who cares how it is said. It is the meaning; the beauty within that matters.
I saw her again, today.
She remembered me.
I could tell by her deliberate avoidance of eye contact and flushed skin. I'm sure it has been five years, at least, since the day we met.
I was eyeballing a box of twelve Heineken on that day. When it comes to purchasing beer, I have a hard time deciding. I'm certain I looked at that box of Heineken at least once for every bottle inside, as I browsed around, looking for a deal.
With all the bright colors and fancy displays, I had become distracted away from my reason for living in that day; lost within a sea of consumers delight.
Finally, I became annoyed with myself because I went there to buy Heineken in the first place. I realized I was experiencing the rush of being late at the same time I grabbed for the handle.
All within an immeasurable instant: The box ripped, the beer hit the floor, some broke, others were fizzing high into the air and in all directions; under my breath I said, "Fuck."
"Watch your mouth!"
Said the thunderous roar of her voice echoing throughout the establishment.
It went on as people who somehow didn't notice the excitement of the beer show began to gawk.
Loudly!
"How dare you use such filth around my children! You have NO respect!"
The entire contents of human life inside of the box store full of booze and the hopes of a good night were now all looking at—her. She carried on grumbling and finally I asked, calmly, "Are you trying to humiliate me?"
"Well you should feel bad! Someone needs to teach people like you a lesson!"
And she was right so I looked her in the eye and quietly stated, "You're the one who brought three babies to a goddamn liquor store and you don't even notice this little guy down here playing in a puddle of spilled beer and broken glass."
I could see her brain attempting to construct an excuse as her mouth opened slowly until her jaw hit the floor. No sounds now. Only the body language and a red face that would make a sunburn jealous leaving the building so fast it left a tracer behind.
"What was that all about?"
Asked the friendly cashier.
I made a big mess, I said, and he quickly responded with...
"Happens all the time."
It does happen all the time. The older we grow, the bigger the mess.
Glad you teached her a lesson, she clearly needs to learn a lot :-/
Posted using Partiko iOS
The look on her face when I saw her again told me she didn't learn much. I've a feeling her version of the story would go something like, I told a guy off at the store one day and everyone applauded.
She sounds like a right f**cking boot.
There are always those types, the ones that attempt to belittle and put others down. And they are the worst.
You should have kicked her in the pie and ran
There are a lot of small towns outside of this city, and that's where they come from. They venture away from home once a month or so, to stock up. When I was in my early twenties, working in retail, running into those attitudes was almost a daily occurrence. I at least made sure to not whisper the word fuck this time around...
P.S. You should add the 'creativecoin' tag to your posts. Creative nonfiction is allowed and you're one of the best.
I know the type. I have bumped into them many a time. I do like to goad them passive aggressive sneakily these days. But ultimately they are best avoided.
I didn't know that! I will do!
Sometimes they just kinda pop up outta nowhere with three kids and shopping cart full of wine and spirits.
Do it now so I can go vote and stop wasting VP on your ass.
Done it!! Hurrah!
Hopefully that vote registered. If not, there's always next time. Humor, in general, is creative. All of your stuff qualifies, in my mind. I've been quietly recruiting people rather than dropping a full out announcement post, since lazy people like to shit post and ruin all the fun. My full vote adds roughly another 50 cents of value to the poster at current rates; rates I'm sure will change.
That is very good. I did see the tag and wondered about it but I haven't really heard much in the way of it. Do they have a front end also?
Hilarious how she immediately admitted that she would not be the one to teach you this lesson.
Posted using Partiko Android
Honestly, if I would have seen those kids, most likely I would have bit my tongue and said FUH. That lesson was learned decades ago. The beer slipped, my tongue slipped. I lived to tell the story. The end.
Loving those blues, it's somehow trippy and soothing at the same time :)
I sometimes wonder if this is all a big play (I wonder a lot of things along these lines lol) and if that's the case, we all have roles- wouldn't it suck if your role was to be a shitty human being? People who go out of their way to make others look bad have to be miserable...glad I didn't draw that short straw! Haha!
I'm enjoying this one as well. The blending and what I'd call the polishing, that stuff took awhile. Still, I'm getting more efficient at making these and that's good because so many of my posts in Steemit land and now Palnet are often hit or miss so I have to be careful with time management. The next one I'm working on is a mirrored image with far more detail and so far it's looking good, but taking a long time. This is the third day I'm spending time on it.
I often wonder that as well. Is it a test? I could have yelled back, I could have gotten angry. Instead I just casually burned her. I think apologizing would have been the absolute worst thing to do, because they did not exist in my world until I heard the yelling. What I did was so common, her reaction made me think she just has just crawled out from under a rock and this was her first day roaming free.
P.S. Use that 'creativecoin' tag for your fiction.
It's ridiculous when parents throw a fit over that, if their children are repeating it the problem is on their end- case in point: My kids grew up around sailor mouths and all it took when they were young was being told "That's an adult word, you're not allowed to say that until you're grown up"...Zoe still doesn't really swear and she doesn't even live at home, lol, and Ethan... well Ethan started swearing this year, but he earned it ;)
My mother hates the word fuck but she would never reprimand a stranger for it, that's just stupid.
Thanks for the tip!
My eldest daughter, she said 'shit' not so long ago and I noticed right away. I was like that's the first time you ever said shit around me. At that point it's a sign they trust you enough to be themselves around you. I know damn well they use those words when they're out cruising around or partying or doing what teens do. I'm not a moron.
Nobody wants their little ones to use the words. They don't do it right. They yell one word, it's always in public, and they repeat it over and over while laughing. That's still better than the kid who runs away every two minutes to go knock something over and won't listen to a damn thing their parents tell them though.
"Sometimes I Just Can't Figure Out Why I'm Here"
If I wasnt "here," then I would be "there,".......and trying to figure out where "there" might be is what is REALLY HARD for me. I've just never been much of a there guy - but I'm trying!
"Don't even go there." People say that. It might be some kind of advice hidden in between the lines? I'm unsure.
They are just being kind to people like me who aren't much of there guys. It kinda takes a little of the pressure off, and that's a relief. I guess also I'm a little hide bound and much the traditionalist. After all, the old folks talk about the "here and now", not the "there and now", although there is an insidious movement to get people to adopt the "there and then" - but it's a trap.
There and then, here and now. Where and when? I dunno.
You can taste a subtle difference in the words:
When people are feeling sorry for you they say: "There, there now"
But when people are cheering your greatness they say: "Here, here".
If you name a dog, Here, you save time and energy. Did you know that?
I did not know that. I am much more of a man now that I do!
What a cunt. The different way people gets offended with out any logic is so dumb.
Posted using Partiko Android
I think it's rare to run into these types but they do often leave a lasting impression that isn't always positive. It's ironic because in their mind, I think they're trying to be savior, but fall flat on their face. Just mind your own business. If I was cursing my head off, loudly, inside of store, then yeah, okay, maybe that's a good time to call the cops. Otherwise, just chill the fuck out.
I work in such store the sheer amount of cosumers who comes into us ans ask us to call the police because they have seen something, but doesn't have the balls to do it themselves is quite scare to be honest.
But ye I guess its not often people just burst out into a rampage because someone says "fuck" :D
If young adults yell in a goos spirit in the store where I work, I dont really mind, if it continues for a while I will ask them to tone it down a bit thats all
Posted using Partiko Android
Well this lady was in earshot of a fuck bordering on the level of a whisper. What the hell else is there to say when you smash a box of beer? LOL!
She properly made it a way worst experience for her kids by yelling that way x)
Some people are just retarded :D
Posted using Partiko Android
Those kids were just little. Nothing seemed to register with them. Maybe mom was always flying off the handle and they just thought it was normal. She did kind of seem like a big drinker, looked kind of rough, and they didn't look wealthy by any means. One kid was splashing the puddle of beer with his hand, having the time of his life. Maybe just another day at the liquor store for them? I don't know.
Haha jeez. Thats a rough start to life if its normal for your mom to fly off the handle!
She might be a drunk with weird prioritization but that would explain her being a hot head
Posted using Partiko Android
We do not know, we are sensitive.
Yes, it has nothing to do with anything.
That is not, yesterday I was.
Sometimes hypersensitivity turns into insensitivity, and then people are left feeling more confused than anything else, with nothing gained.
There is no benefit, there is no loss.
You learn to protect yourself beforehand.
You hide behind the acid humor.
Only time will allow you to resurrect and surrender your soul without fear.
I am beginning to experience that time.
Now it is confusing.
Stay Great!
Translated from Spanish to English, from English to Tagalog and from Tagalog to Spanish and then to English.
Humor isn't a disguise.
I'm talking about me
I've used a lot of humor as a protective shield.
I didn't mean disguise.
(Sorry for my translation)
For years I did it.
I try to be more genuine now.
I read what you write ...
Sometimes, I feel that I am reading something written by me.
In addition, his writings confront me with feelings that I have buried or that I have not been able to express.
Thanks for that although sometimes I feel it hurts.
Happy life.
I see what you mean now. These language barriers sure like to make life difficult! I can appreciate what you said. Sometimes I can be a little too piercing with my thoughts and words, but I do not see myself as outside, or above it all. I'm right there with everyone, fighting the same battles.
But what happened to the poor spilled Heineken- such a terrible loss of good beer - curse dumbing down on packaging. Hopefully the remaining case was available for a discount price - yes I am that guy who heads straight to the short dated and damaged packaging shelves for the bargains - very little helps!
Posted using Partiko iOS
I think certain laws prohibit 'individual resale'. Only the box has a bar code, the bottles do not. I think somewhere in the health and safety guidelines, when it comes to glass, the product gets poured down the drain and the bottle recycled. They fear the consumer might swallow chips of glass inside the bottle. It's all liability stuff. Some people would intentionally damage merchandise just to purchase later if they knew they could. There's a million reasons why they don't sell it. It is a waste. I worked in retail, years ago. The days after Christmas were especially depressing because many items would get returned to the store, and due to policy, much of these unwanted gifts were thrown in the garbage. The same thing happens with food. Superficial nonsense. Nobody wants the watermelon with the big brown blemish, so it sits there, then gets thrown away, even though it's perfectly fine on the inside. Dented cans, garbage. Bread gets pulled two days before its best before date, garbage. Meat products, same thing, except some of that now rots in a bin, then a truck shows up, takes it somewhere to be ground up, chemical rinse, then something eats it, but I'm not sure what.
Ignoring is very powerful. Sometimes I ignore, not because I want to, but because I am very distracted. People then come by begging for attention.
Ignorance is bliss, they say. Some folks need a good dose of reality at times as well. I know I've been offered my fair share and, over time, looking back, it did nothing but help.
"'You're the one who brought three babies to a goddamn liquor store and you don't even notice this little guy down here playing in a puddle of spilled beer and broken glass'."
I love when the immoral start moralizing at you. I once had a raging alcoholic slur through lecturing me about how "marrrrijuana ruinsss livfffes."
"Not giving a fuck what they think trumps invincibility and can actually be accomplished without the help of fantasy."
I would agree with that. I tried giving a fuck until I was about 25 then I stopped and life has never been better (in most ways).
I've heard those drunken rants and even had to dodge a punch once because I did the oh so nasty thing of, get this, disagreeing. It's hard to live a life of not giving much of a fuck when one is drunk, since the booze equals senseless drama, but only when people have had too much, or do it daily.
And not giving a fuck, to me, is simply trying to remain calm, chilled out. Not letting the small things bother you. Not allowing your mind and paranoia about what others might be thinking control you. 25 is usually the age when most break free of that high school hallway mentality. Once you stop trying to be cool and worrying about what the cool kids are doing, it's much easier to just be cool, genuinely.
" And not giving a fuck, to me, is simply trying to remain calm, chilled out."
Truth. Although I would be lying if I didn't also mention that my lack of fucks given often manifests as me going out in public while free balling it in some probably way too thin pj pants lol.
"It's hard to live a life of not giving much of a fuck when one is drunk, since the booze equals senseless drama"
Hahaha Your telling me. Lol yeah drinking and drama do seem go hand in hand. I have known plenty of heavy drinkers and many would screech like 16 year old girls if you said the wrong thing during one of their angry drunks.
I used to be a heavy drinker, 6 beer per day, minimum. Weekends were benders. I had to stop completely and deal with the rattles. Did it all without any help, because the help seemed like a cult to me. I knew I could never stop forever, and didn't want to. Just wanted to break the addiction, learn from those mistakes, so I could once again enjoy a simple beer or two while I relax in the sun, or whatever. And no more throwing plates out the window because for some reason I was angry and didn't feel like washing them, episodes.
"because the help seemed like a cult to me"
The comedian Doug Stanhope has a number of bits about that very topic. He has quite a lot to say about Dr. Drew and none of it is positive. lol.
"so I could once again enjoy a simple beer or two while I relax in the sun, or whatever."
People like to say never again but I think that is born out of their fear of being weak. What you describe is what a I think a healthier view of breaking an addiction ought to be. If someone has to run from something to not be a slave to it, they are still kind of a slave to it.
Stanhope is a damn good guy, with a huge drinking problem. For some people though, it's like they were born to drink. It's rare but in some cases it seems like drinking is what they should be doing.
Certain habits need to be broken and stay broken. Those pills. Once you down one, you're done. Meth is another bad one. I remember back in highschool this one kid couldn't stop snorting Ritalin. This other chick I new wouldn't stop taking massive doses of Gravol. The shit people do to fuck themselves up. I'm glad weed is finally legal here. A lot of those bad drug habits started when these young people couldn't score weed. Needed a substitute. Made the wrong call.
Fair enough. Tweekers get pretty bad. Crack heads too.
Haha I always wonered what gets some people started with some drugs. I can how how people get hooked on pills because they view it as medicne but we all already know that crack was some bullshit but people start smoking it every day.
As I read I was thinking, 'yeah and you are with kids in the beer isle'
So I'm glad you told her some facts and still got your beer.
Around here, you won't often see children in the liquor store. The stores are owned by the province and only sell alcohol. Private stores can't sell. I think that could be changing though. It's different in other provinces. Some of those whiskey bottles on the bottom shelf are not hard for a child to open. Go to a retail store and everything is childproof. So yeah, it's weird to have kids in there, and not really watch them.
And I'm sure the beer was good, but that's a lot of years ago, and sometimes I get old imports that could probably taste a bit better.
Yeah that's a bit unusual in most of Europe, I think some of Scandinavia has the same laws in place.
Maybe she was watching them until she had something else to moan about - those sorts can really test patience.
Freelance dictators.
Losing is winning, if you embrace being born to lose,...
Congratulations @nonameslefttouse!
Your post was mentioned in the Steem Hit Parade in the following category:
"Here" as in steem or "here" as in the planet? The latter is to do exactly what you're doing and the former is so you can tell us all about it XD