Let's be real. We've all been living lies.
The particulars may vary for each of us. Yet every single one of us has gone about our lives fabricating a socially-acceptable persona, crafting what comes out of our mouths and fingertips so as to not ruffle feathers too much and keep hidden parts of ourselves we've been pretty sure will not be met with warm smiles and supportive standing ovations.
We've forged flimsy comfort zones of self-identities in which we've pardoned ourselves from the scary task of 100% authentic self-confrontation through the process of being totally real with others, opting on the side of playing along to everyone else's storylines so as to not offend each others' precious little egos with blunt reflections unlike anything found in the cultural rhetoric sustaining paradigms sucking the fucking life out of us.
Some reading this are probably starting to get uncomfortable. Others may be nodding along smugly, thinking I'm referring to the masses of conventional society. But there is reason for us all to get uncomfortable here. Cuz every single one of us - yours truly included - is guilty.
Steemit is just as an open-platform as any to "speak our minds." Yet, how real we gotten yet? How much fluff have we wasted our and others' time on, regurgitating opinions and composing stories to support our beliefs of who we are and how the world is? And more importantly, what has the opportunity cost been?
What haven't we said? What have we held back out of fear?
In the name of the "spiritual" game or "being a good citizen," how many of us have silenced parts of ourselves that if were being totally honest, would confess to really not giving a fuck about too many of the other people on this planet? That we go about our days walking down the street smiling at people, while something darker on the inside views them as little more than predictable, emotion-driven machines produced en-mass that are a cancer to this planet with their self-indulgent, superficial, materialistic, consumer lifestyles - and we remain numb to truly connecting with their humanness?
Or what about the flipside...
How many of us have opened up senses and abilities - perhaps that we haven't even fully acknowledged - through which we do feel so deeply and intimately that which those around us are going through? How many amongst us have side-stepped our own egos at times to connect so directly into others without even trying, that we are unable to separate others' anxieties, fears, aggression, and confusion from our own - to the point where it's almost fucking traumatizing to navigate our place in this maze of mankind's evolution through the most testing times in history?
What has held us back from admitting where in our lives we really don't have our shit together and have no fucking clue where to even begin scrambling to gain some tiny sense of control over the messes our ignorance and incompetence have put us in?
Or how many times have we suppressed Truths and insight lie within us, dumbing ourselves down because we know there'll be an energetic backlash from those whose boundaries we might push - retreating into a safety zone, denying our own expression of that which might constructively shatter stupidity-based illusions others hold dear, in order to preserve our own delusionsary sense of peace of mind?
What about the times we've played small, failing to deliver what could be valuable perspectives within collaborative dialogues - knowing we're at a level below who we'd like to talk to, sensing that pretty much anything we might say is bound to come across as stupid and create a backlash from the others for having wasted their time with our petty ideas they're light years ahead of?
How many times do we shrink ourselves down, when encountering others who say or do stupid shit, feeling at the core of our beings, "I am better, smarter, stronger, and more capable than you'll ever be...?"
And conversely, how often do we feel lesser, weaker, stupider than - putting ourselves in the position of the inferior one, encountering others whose gifts set the stage for a comparison by which we fail to measure up...?
Nerve struck yet?
We've all mastered the art of manipulative communication - meeting eachother half-way at safety points, where unspoken agreements provide us a middle ground at which we can fake our way through some interaction, playing along with social norms, so as to not stir the pot.
And we've all proven our ineptitude in exemplifying a leadership that catapults us out of our comfort zones into the vulnerability of getting real about the aspects of our lives that would be absolutely unbearable were we not able to continually distract and numb ourselves from them.
Though then again, who wants to engage the shadows?
Sure, some will designate an hour a week to spill our sour beans to some therapist before reentering the rat race - isolating our moment of honesty within the confines of a societally-sanctioned office, paying enormous sums to ensure those darkest secrets don't escape the walls.
But what's the cost when we keep quiet about these types of things?
Sure, the repression might back up to cause increasingly destructive turmoil within ourselves and ripple out into the relationships with those around us.
But who else might we be denying an opportunity for growth by failing to speak our truths due to fear?
What can't move forward in our outside world because we've been too chicken-shit to crack open dialogues about the things holding us back the most...?
What RAM upgrades have we been denying ourselves and others by holding back to explore and process the negative charges we've locked in the closets...?
Seems this is turning out to be a continuation of the theme started with yesterday's Access Point: Vulnerability post.
And the point...? I dunno. Maybe that is for each of to determine for ourselves.
Personally, I feel it's a waste of valuable time to tippie-toe around some of the most charged issues that could be written, which could hold massive potential for inspiring and transforming the way we understand & view ourselves, others, and the worlds in ways most conducive to constructive evolutionary collaboration.
But then again, sometimes we need a break from being all serious too, and some light humor and cat videos might bring an equal amount of light into our lives every now and then.
Nonetheless, there is an opportunity cost to every post we invest our time writing and reading here.
Every topic may vary. But the realness that goes into them might just make a difference on the impact our words have on others...
Or some shit.
Hahahahahhah, I can't control my laughter as at this moment. We have all have lived in this lies saga when fantasies were so much of a bearing headache and causes our stomach to churn with the sound or mention of the name. And today we can't say more of this act. Life is beautiful.
it sure is. :-)
Amazing article. Raw, honest, authentic. Just what I like. And to be honest, I like it because that's what I want to be 100 % of my life but I am not. There are areas of my life where I am that (to better or worse). Though there are others where I struggle immensly.
Here's a thought though...
What if we evolved this way as if we were completely open and honest in the past we would be either clubbed to death, proclaimed insane (or a philospher, depending on our luck :D ), put on spikes or burned alive for being a witch, etc.
And therefore most of us have genes of cowards as cowards are the ones that survived and reproduced in past.
Man fighting in war or fighting and expressing his strong beliefs is statistically less likely to survive and have offsprings than the one who sat quietly during commnism just hoping for it to pass. I know my family for example has no "partizans". Did it make me more cowardy or less likely to be completely authentic?
On the other hand, there is also socety in which we live in which teaches us to not stick-out. Especially in Nordic countries. In Denmark for example they have a phrase for it which I would paraphrase to "don't stick out. Stay the same and let's work together".
So there is that pressre, too.
So, from that, can we conclude that we are doomed to be a bunch of PC pussies in some extend or the other?
Is it only on the internet we are more likely be more raw and authentic? Are troll Youtube comments a fucked up mutation of it?
surely, yes - these factors contributed to the habit of closing up.
can make such a conclusion as you state at the end...? NO. cuz times have changed. and so must we to evolve.
the internet may be a safe stepping-stone, given people can more freely express themselves with anonymity, and yes trolling may be part of that phenomenon. though ultimately, evolution must occur - and the maturation of expression happen such that some might build enough confidence with the training wheels of their social media games to speak louder and bolder in real life....
Yes, I agree that we are evolving. Just the topics we as humanity discuss more and more - freedom, consent, sexual expression, rise in libertarianis, movements like radical honesty, etc.
Even corporations are becoming more transparent.
So I think we are on a great way to some amazing times :).
I do wonder how much evolutionary biology influences how we act today. I heard people on podcasts mention how important evolutionary biology is but I haven't been able to find any interesting free online content about this topic.
Do you know of any good youtube videos or authors that talk about this topic?
Depending in what sence you want to learn about it.
If you want to look more into the genes and how they influence us then unfortunatelly I don't.
If you want to hear how our ancestors influence our life, how we formed our habits, what we should eat, what is the best "social structure" we thrive in, and things like that then I would have few recommendations.
A good start might be a Rewild Yourself Podcast which goes into some of these topics and some of the guessts there are amazing. Though the quality of information is going down as it's used for reinforcment of the guys ideas. Though there are some gems there.
I will check out some of their earlier content!
People should always be themselves, otherwise your whole life is going to be a lie. Why waste time trying to fit the expectations of others when you could be true to yourself and the highest vision of your future and attract people that will further that growth? Being too real might drive some people away, but it will attract many more, and they will be valuable because they want you FOR WHO YOU REALLY ARE.
Anyway, I like your conversational writing style, and the things you write about are very interesting to me. My consciousness is just now starting to awaken and connect with the universal hivemind, and it is a journey like no other. Thanks for the insightful posts, and keep up the great work!
Wow, this comment and post both really speak to me.
I catch myself people pleasing way to often. I catch myself laughing at jokes that I don't think are funny, I stay quiet if I have a controversial opinion about something and I feel uncomfortable making other people feel uncomfortable.
I have recently found myself struggling to connect with people and it may be because I am being fake as fuck. I just need to be stronger and say what I think.
I really struggle with this topic of being authentic. On one hand, I want to be 100% myself and not hide my thoughts and beliefs but on the other, I know I will have to put up with other ppl's judgements. The biggest area that I think ppl struggle with to remain authentic is religion. It's like whatever religion your parents raised u in, you are damned to follow it "or else". It's the definition of insanity that ppl think they have the right to follow what religion they want, but then they turn around and try to control other people's beliefs.
Religion is a toughie - and perhaps one of the areas it's needed most, for there is so much bullshit there. Tough, yes - though perhaps a test of character to go against the grain of a status quo that is simply fucked in so many ways...
I guess for me, I've found it's especially tough being authentic with family members. But when it comes to religion, I've decided to play along with them. I choose to be inauthentic with them because I think I'm better off in the long-run. I'd rather be on good terms with them, yet annoyed at times by their clashing opinions, rather than be estranged or have them trying to reconvert me, lol. There's a price to pay for being authentic and inauthentic.
and some might call that price "integrity."
Thanks for pointing that out. I never thought about this definition of integrity before - living honestly when its inconvenient.
great article, amazing talent. pure art. this is not just a post, this is mountain lion, chewing on a throat of a wild goat in the sunset. i am still shaking. this is really enlightening. actually, this is why i am here. people like you are what makes this community the best one. i wont even mention your photos, ill just say - breathtaking. you are one of the steemians who truly inspires me. What a day, what a great community of talented individuals, im going to thank the Lord for a chance to witness all this greatness happening.
anyone willing to invest in Ass Kissing Generator for Steemit? AKGS?
Lol. ;-)
Good Job on this, raised some interesting questions for me.
Followed, and upvoted!
The glue of society: compromise. We can "unite" and get along for the most part. But get real about what's really going on or try to change things and then some people don't like being exposed to the reality they couldn't see or didn't want to look back on. Good post :) Resteemed.
That's the real spirit! I believe that Steemit came to outline exactly this type of self-revelations! Use the community to discover yourselves guys. Forget about STEEM, SMD, SP, Fork 19 and so on. for a moment, stand up from the laptop, go in front of the mirror and look at yourself.
Who do you see?
The answer could delay, but if you persist you'll definitely get a reward, that's millions of times more precious of any Steemit reward.
Thanks - there is much to think about.
People exclaim that a person is courageous if and when they stand up to the status quo. As a society, debate and differences of options are things we read about in history books. Raw, real, honest, direct...these terms are used to define tyrants now. Not to be herald as badges of honor. Everyone wants to be liked by the global IN CROWD. It's high school on a galactic scale.
DILLIGAF!?! People are afraid of not being liked and fitting in. Again, DILLIGAF!?! Not everyone is going to love you. Not everyone is going to want to get your autograph. Not everyone is going to want to be your BFF. Not everyone is going to want to spend time with you. Ok...and? Don't apologize for being the best person that you are working on being. It's ok to not fit in.
Holy fuck.
I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LOVE THIS POST SO MUCH!
And I completely agree with you, on so many levels.
Wah, right now. My mind is blown, so hopefully I'll come back at a later stage ( when I've calmed down a lil bit) and write a reasonably intelligent comment on why I think this is my fave post on steemit as of now!
BIG love,
Ashley
ps. this is me right now! HAHA
he he. that made my day. :-D
very cool... something written way back that I'd completely forgotten about, turning out to have such an effect on someone else - and receive the feedback loop far off after having let it go.
thank you. 💗
Still can't come up with something intelligent to say! Haha
No need. Sometimes the wave of insights are meant as an individual gift - no, words ever could convey, and 'tis meant for you and you alone in the ways you saw and understood. And in time, you'll pay forward something that shall have an impact on others... ;-)
STAAAHPPP STAAAAHPPPP ;)
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. It’s sometimes isolating to have these thoughts on the state of how we all inherently behave or try to behave. I’ve sensed a shift for a while now. That there is an awakening rippling through the fibres of this world. The masks can’t be upheld for much longer. They’re cracking in all places. The dams of our beings have been held back to long and we want to go home to who we really are. I can’t really express what I got from this article but I felt this journal post I wrote recently is relevant:
https://thefabledroad.deviantart.com/journal/Recognising-the-Mask-708420891
Thanks for sharing your words and thoughts.
your welcome. 😊🙏
good journal post. could be worth turning into a Steemit post... ;-)
Thank you @rok-sivante, I look forward to more writings from you. :)