Wtf am i suppose to do? I suffer 24 hours a day. Sometimes worse than others. Thanksgiving i was sick as all hell and forced myself to go see family.
Im fucking hurting and im getting no love, no compassion, no help. Not from regular people, not from spiritual people, not from no one.
I had a good time at family gathering inspite of pain. It was better than expected. But still little nuances.
Now today i forced myself again to go to wifes family house. Overall i had a good time but some shit just pissed me the fuck off. These people barely know im suffering. They think im not around so much cuz im a dickhead. I just fucking hate it.
Have you ever felt like a car was parked on your brain? I do that daily! How come no one understands? How come no one cares?
What should i correct my posture or change my diet? Then relief will come? Ive done it.
I miss being myself and i am getting more angry as time goes on. Fucking infuriated! Fucking pissed!
What the fuck am i suppose to do?
And now im having friends and family join steemit. What, i shouldnt write my diaries any longer? If they saw what i write i may have even less support.
Without my son, I would blow my brains out! Im just fucking sick of it.
try cannabinoids. Also trip if you ever get the chance. Have a one-to-one with your pain.
I have ate and smoked many strands. Most actually agitate my pain. I havent done high cbd oil yet and that is on the list. I also have tripped directly to do as you say 1 on 1. Also many years of meditation. Helped some which is partly why i write my emotuons out, to let it go. Ty for your inputs and support. Blessings
let out as much as you want man, the least I can do is experience what you have to say. I have invested in a few companies and am watching a few others that are developing synthetic medicines based on cannabinoid molecules. If any of them come out with some new and novel pain-killer, potentially even one aimed at migraine pain, I'll let you know.
Thanks @liborum! Hopefully those investments grow :). Yes please let me know ty. Also i think what i have is nerve pain coming from neck going into head so if you hear anything on nerve pain... blessings
I hope you have us brother...
Thanks Johnny! Just letting some steem out, truly working on overcoming all of it.
Wish I knew something that would help, could be so many things are I know you damn smart and have tried a lot already. I know that resistance and fear amplify pain, and that deep accpetance has opposite effect. Talk is cheap, I dont know If I could hardle what you do, probably not. Your not alone, never think that, life is relationship, but it can only be felt, never thought.
Ty for support @freemoceanisnow. Very true on resistance and fear! I have played with it for many years in meditation. Fully accepting pain, embracing it and even loving it. Its helped on and off which is parlty why im just letting it out on some of my diaries. I dont know that i could ever fully accept this. I sure can accept healing tho. Its hard when i cant do or act the way i know i easily could without this very strange pain. Again ty, its these little comments that somehow help. Blessings