I've Finally Taken That Last Step I Need to Get On With the Rest of My Life

in #lifestyle3 years ago (edited)

Monday morning, I pulled three cards from my Inner Guidance Card Deck to help me find what I needed to face actually quitting my very secure part time teaching job I've held for the last fifteen years. Some of you might recall me talking about the end of my career - I'd made the psychological decision to quit after much anguish and deliberation, but I still had the last leap - telling both the principal and my head of department, the former in an email and the latter in a conversation. Whilst the decision had been made in my heart, saying out aloud and getting the ball rolling to actually burn this bridge was nerve wracking. We're into Week 6 of Term 3 here and although I only need to give a month's notice, morally I wanted to do the right thing so that they had time to advertise my position. I couldn't really delay it any longer, and I needed to get the party started for the rest of my life, however terrifying that might be.


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And so, the cards. Rational, scientific thinkers might say they're a lot of hippy rubbish - how might a deck of cards know just what you need when you mind think into the bowl in which they are scattered? But I've had this deck for fifteen years now and they've never stopped helping me organise my thoughts and give me a little clarity. Sometimes they make me laugh (asking how I might make up with my husband after a fight, the card with SEX found it's way into my hand) but more often that not, they offer little gems, little ways to think about a situation or a dilemma.

Last week, suffering painful tendonitis, I got the cards 'REST' and 'WAIT'. And I smiled, and got on with resting, and waiting to heal. 'The cards had spoken', I said to my husband, using it as an excuse to not participate in his frenzied cleaning of the house. Of course, I didn't have to obey the cards at all. Yet, when I leaned in to what my body needed, it was resting and waiting to heal after all. It wasn't advice I could ignore.

This time, I asked the cards to give me a little guidance in a super big task I had to do. All weekend I worried about officially handing in my resignation.

Was I doing the right thing?
Would we be financially okay?
Was this my only chance to have a steady, reliable and quite good income?
Who was I if I wasn't a teacher?
What would come next?
How would I get intellectual stimulation?
Was my husband really okay with being the sole breadwinner?
Should I be more grateful for having a good job when others didn't?
Was I leaving on a selfish whim or truly leaning in to my heart's desires?

Monday, in asking the bowl of cards how to approach my resignation, I received cards:

Face the Situation
Take the Risk
What You Resist, Persists

Now of course I could apply these words to many situations, but that's not what I was focussing upon. What mattered was to meditate upon how the phrases applied to this situation. It was telling me to woman up and to take a leap, and that delaying the decision wasn't going to help at all. The more I resisted flow - what I truly desired - the worse things were going to get. And truly, what did I really have to lose?

So it came to be that I emailed my head of department for an appointment that very day, and within minutes of our meeting, I informed her of my decision to leave.

In other words, I put on my big girl's blouse.

The sky hasn't fallen down - yet. Everyone's happy for me, amazed at my courage, and quite a bit jealous that I'm able to do this.

On Monday night, I returned the cards to the bowl, and heaved a sigh of relief.

Now it begins.

With Love,

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Was my husband really okay with being the sole breadwinner?

Well, if we can manage with that much bread, there is no need to take all the extra pressure along with taking care of the home. My wife is an engineer, and after our marriage, she wanted to do a job, but I convinced her to take care of home, and go for job only if we cannot manage with what I earn. She has been happier since then. That time, there was a little disagreement within her, but now she says, we did the the right thing.

I'm glad that she has been happy and sees it as the right thing, and has no regrets! I think I'll feel the same. Thanks @sanjeevm.

I'm so happy for you.... what a HUGE WEIGHT off your shoulders!!! As long as I have "known" you, this conflict has niggled. You find your wings after you have jumped. And you have so much to offer the world!

If all else fails, you can blog madly, all day every day, and play #splinterlands. 😆

I think Signs and cards are important tools for times when your bias and your fear muffles or blocks that inner whisper. Whatever it takes.

Thankyou, @artemislives, means a lot. I'm feeling very brave and very happy. Much has been let go to get to this moment, and I'm proud of myself for working through all that I have to get here. My wings are starting to tremble, ready to flutter, that's for sure!

This "Covid Hothouse" (my current way of thinking about the global crisis) is highlighting so much that ISN'T what we want and empowering so many to let go and give something a shot. Trembling wings is a "thing" for me still 😆 - 31 years since I last worked for a pay cheque from someone else - but the trembles can mean anything from deep fatigue, to total concentration, to complete ecstasy. (I'm sure those commas aren't well placed btw). There IS no going back and that's a good thing. Cos then we become agents of creating a new tomorrow for more than just ourselves. And the world needs so much more of that. Now more than ever.

The path unfolds AFTER you let go.

Yes, we were talking about that in the office this morning - what we all learnt from this. I think a lot of people there would like to leave but they're bound by kids and mortgages and the like. I'm glad you said 'the path unfolds AFTER you let go' - that makes a lot of sense, and I'm hoping that's the case. You are always so brave doing what you do, although I know you'd say it's out of necessity, but still, you are so strong to do what you do.

I have never used such cards, but I reckon we all use these kinds of "signs" to guide us, it is just what signs we focus on as individuals that change.

Congrats on starting the next phase of your life :)

Oh hey Taraz!!! Yes, I agree. It's just a way of affirming what we already know, really, but they do help. Thanks so much - your bro and I are on the same wavelength I think with these big decisions and moving forward!

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Thankyou so much, darling @bhattg!

It is always important to be able to make bold decisions. Sometimes one should devote more time to himself. He must pursue new adventures.

Thanks! I think so too. It's a bit scary, but I'll be okay, and yes, a new adventure!

You have made an important step, congratulations. Of course, the cards did not make this decision for you, they only gave a voice to your inner self.

And about your worries, everything will be fine ;) 3 years ago, I literally forced my wife to quit her job and start living a free life. I have a patriarchal upbringing (the best part of it), so I believe that a man should take care of the financial viability of the family. But at the same time, this does not mean that the wife should do household chores. Only if she likes to do it. After she stopped thinking about money and work, we all became much happier :)

Oh gosh yes, it was absolutely ME being brave and stupid! The cards just validated me!

I literally forced my wife to quit her job and start living a free life.

Awesome. So did my man. And I think many men feel that way - it does put a bit of pressure on them. I wanted to be an independent woman, so it was hard for me to let hte money side go, but now I think - well, this is great, I'm happy to iron your shirts if you bring home the proverbial bacon!

After she stopped thinking about money and work, we all became much happier :)

Yes!!!! That's what my hubs hopes - that I'll be happier. There's a great saying that goes 'happy wife, happy life' - haha, that's probably true!

'happy wife, happy life'

The absolute true truth based on the wisdom of our ancestors!

You must feel so relieved! I applaud you for having the courage to do so, and your partner for being the supportive partner he is. I have such a supportive partner as well he's been the one with a steady income for years, giving me the opportunity to do my stuff, work on my projects and meanwhile be there for the little one. When things are finally going to boom, the things I worked on, it's because he gave me the space to do so :)

I hope to read many posts about where life will bring you now!

How lucky are we, having a partner who gives us space to be!!! I'm so glad you have a supportive partner too. I'm ever so grateful for mine - we've been married 17 years on Friday and I couldn't love him more. 1

Very lucky! He followed me blindly wherever I went, trusting me to make the right decision. And I realize all too well that this is not to be taken for granted :)

Congrats on your 17 years of marriage Friday :) <3

Do you have plans after your last day at this job? Or are you first going to re-connect and take some time off?

Just reconnecting, for sure! It'll be summer holidays so it' won't really hit until the hubs goes back to work and I don't! That's going to be super wierd!

Pretty neat way to help clarify your mind and prepare you for your decision making progress. Good luck with the upcoming transistion!

It's kinda corny, but it works! and the odd thing is, that even after 15 years, there's still cards I haven't drawn. Sometimes the words suprise me - like whoa, never seen them before! Can't wait for the year to be over now - so exciting!

I guess you gotta be kinda disciplined to use them as i reckon id just keep pulling out cards til i got the ones i liked ;)

Oh don't worry, I've done that before too - what do you think I am, perfect? He he.

Woah that picture is a clear depiction of the change you're pursuing in your life. Best of luck ❤️

It is, isn't it? A leap of faith!

Whatever you decide, think carefully. If you have another option, leave the job. If not, continue your job as long as you have no other option.

Wahoo! Taking a leap is fucking scary, but oh so worth it when it leads to new beginnings! 💚

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And that FUCKING is a well placed expletive... Totally emphasises the fear.

But now? Fucking excited!

Sometimes no other word will do!

Let me know if the sky starts falling...I'll stand in a doorway ke something. Probably won't happen though. You know what's up.

Totally. I'm soooo excited... hurry up Dec 13th!

EDIT... Dec 10! And kids finish on 8th. Trembling with excitement. For now, work... 😭😭😭

You should leave a parting gift...Fail all the kids...You'll be remembered.

Nah, just kidding.

Or am I?

Hahah I can't fail the kids - under my tutelage, they wouldn't fail!

You'd not do it of course, I knew that...But what if...

Most of the times we know what we have to do.
But we still need some kind of sign or a card to give us that final assurance.

I remember when I left my job, it was hard for me. It hasn't been a smooth road. But everything I learned and had time to try and do, I would do it all over again.

Wish you luck for your future endeavours🙂

Thankyou SO much 😘

This is so exciting 🙂 You are brave.

I did what you are doing 5 years ago and I don’t even want to think about what my life would have looked like if I had stayed at my job. Now, it feels like another life.

xx

Now that's what I love to hear! I know it's the best thing for me..now I can't wait to leave!

Same here. I quit 5 years ago, in this exact month. Although I made the decision and informed my superior ( can't stand that hierarchic word ) months before.

No regrets.

Reading this, makes me very happy. I know how long you have wanted to take this leap and I am beyond proud of and excited for you. You deserve this so much and yeah for cards. I have my Sheela Na Gig cards for over 10 years now and they have given me a lot of strength over the years. Love you my beautiful strong amazing friend xxxx

Yay, it's so lovely to hear all this excitement for me - my friends here are really happy for me too, and many are a bit jealous!

Love you too...

You go, girl! You did need to get on with it. The stress I've been reading about for years was just too much. Something will come along, as my friend Jeannie says, it always does. And in my life, it always has... One must just wait for the time for it to happen.

Thanks lovely!!! I can't even say how happy I am. More time in the garden!

Your're gonna be all good. I remember way back then when you told me you couldn't stand teaching anymore. That's how life is, like a bicycle: it only stands if it moves; but not just in a straight line, without knowing how to turn.

Well, it's not that I can't stand teaching, it's a little bit more thanthat, but yeah, I'm so glad the bicycle is going off the cliff without me

Awesome! I am happy to read this. Love this cards story and I feel you have done well. Time for a new phase in your life.

xx