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RE: Regret - Poetry

in #poetry7 years ago

Thank you kindly, @jerrytsuseer, both for the upvote as well as your comment and critique. :c)

While it is not the first time that I sought to write in rhyme, for some reason I thought that it would be an interesting challenge to further constrict the freedom of the verses chosen. I don't know if I'll ever try that again but the results weren't too bad. ^_^

That the meaning of an entire line was lost is something that I am sorry to hear as I have 'home advantage' in establishing meaning.

Without overly pegging the meaning of the poem as a whole, the line 'sutured to last obeys needle upon skin kissed' hints at injuries inflicted in the past, that one is able to continue with thanks to a bit of patching up. The reference to the needle doubling in roles both harm and balm. A comma here may also help convey meaning.

Heathery may seem a little forced as a term - but is in reference to the feeling of hair, individually coarse yet collectively soft. Its more of a texture (and rhyming) thing.

A comma again would help make more sense of it. I thank you both for the suggestions as well as the feedback! :c)