This is not a post that rants and raves about facebook, Instagram or any social media platform. This is a post which discusses some of the behaviors and emotions that such networks prompt in us. The content that I have assembled together here has been initially inspired by close family, friends as well as by what I observe around me. But, I also dag out some data from research and surveys conducted among teen and adult networkers in the US and Europe. Actually, I went a little mad on the data, when I finished writing this post my eyes were like this ➙ 😵
A Boring Day
Not long before I joined Steemit I had to do some paper work in a government’s office. The kind of crowded office that the machine sitting in the corner spits out a piece of paper informing you that your turn is A 120, but when you look up, the digital panel has just called A 68. But, I had my book and water with me. Things were not that miserable.
A while later, after finishing my chapter and learning that A 68 was still being dealt with I sighed and decided to take a stroll to watch the people. The sight was one all too familiar: children and adults alike all on their mobile devices. The few individuals who were not ‘connected’ were the elderly ones in the room. I was not connected either, but that was because I only became the proud owner of a smart phone this year, after my old Nokia 1661 gave up in February.
I observed that people were either on facebook, whatsapp or playing games. I ignored the minority that were playing games and paid closer attention to the ones on social media. Most of them were just on their feed mindlessly scrolling down and down, going from here to there ... Just like I began to do on Steemit a few weeks later when I joined in 😆
No Cues to Stop
Nowadays, it isn’t news to anybody that great part of how social media manages to have us hooked is through positive reinforcement. You know, the desirable likes, upvotes, comments, sharing and so forth. We keep coming back for more because of the strength and direction our behaviour takes towards such incentives. In psychology we call this motivation, and in our brain the reward pathway (the mesolimbic pathway) plays a specific role in it: it tells us to repeat that behaviour again and again by means of dopamine release 1. The feel good neurotransmitter.
Having said that, the question I raise is: what is so pleasant about scrolling up and down your newsfeed, anyways? I asked my brother and then he mumbled “ahm... I ... ahm ... just looking for something ... I guess.” Great, that was exactly the answer I was expecting. However, little did my brother know, that there is perhaps a bit more to that. It turns out that our brains rely on visual cues to learn when to stop. And there is an experiment that explores exactly this: The Bottomless Bowls 2.
The Experiment
54 participants took part in it. Group 1 had their soup from normal bowls, while Group 2 had it from slowly and discreetly self-refilling bowls. Wasinki’s findings showed that, regardless of BMI, the individuals from Group 2 had 73% more soup than those in Group 1. He put this down to the lack of noticeable visual information of when to stop. However, what I found even more interesting about what he found was the fact that participants in Group 2 didn’t report being more sated than the participants in Group 1. Something which Wasink explained with the following statement:
their estimate of how much they have consumed and how sated they are may have to do more with what they believe they saw themselves eat and less with how much they actually atep.94
Impulsive Nature
Does this same principle also apply to when we binge on TV series to which the cue to stop is the end of the season? For example. It is speculated that this is probably the case why no matter how bigger the portion of our snacks and meals get, some of us will only stop when we see the gigantic packet empty. Now, you add that to the activation of our reward system by all the tasty sugary or salty products that come in them. Gosh, we’ve got no chance!
But, let’s pause here for a second. I feel compelled to remind you that it is thanks to this ancient pathway (the reward system) that we are still around as a species today. Sometimes I feel that most of the credit of our survival goes to the ‘fight or flight’ response. Nevertheless, hadn’t evolution gifted us with the mesolimbic dopamine system we wouldn’t have developed the motivation to seek socialization, food or sex, for example. Dopaminergic neurons have been mediating reward regarding this sort of natural incentive in worms and insects for millions of years 3. And that is why it’s a good thing our ancestors didn’t have Facebook or Steemit. Can you imagine that?
Back to the experiment and lack of visual cues.
So, I began to think of our social media feeds as a forever self-filling bowl from which we mindlessly eat a never ending soup of information.
Why Does it Matter?
It matters because of a series of complex factors which should not be disregarded. Unlike other forms of traditional media, in social networks the individual is more than a passive user. Here, the person not only assembles a profile to portray themselves (usually in the best way possible), but also receives constant interaction and feedback from it. Negative social comparisons inevitably emerge from this. After all, social network peers stand on a much more comparable ground than, let’s say, a top model on a glossy magazine photo shoot. And this may be one of the reasons why social media plays a huge part in women’s concern with their body image nowadays 4. A circumstance that becomes even more relevant when 54% of women (in the US) on facebook report that they access the platform mainly to see photos and videos 5.
Regarding Anxiety
As for social media being a contributor towards the development of anxiety, 25% of users revealed they feel nervous when they are not connected (FOMO) 6, 21% stated feeling bad about their own life when compared to that of others via social media 7, and 39% feel pressured to post popular content 8. These users are teens and young adults up to the age of 24. However, I wouldn’t be surprised to find that older adults feel the same way. For instance, we tend to think cyber bullying is something that permeates only the online world of teens; unfortunately, in 2017, 41% out of 4,248 American adults confessed to have been harassed online, and 66% said they’d seen others go through such situations 9.
As the Root Cause for Psychosocial Issues
When it comes to loneliness and histrionic behaviour (attention seeking), as far as I know, there isn’t evidence to present social networking as their root cause. What seems to be the case is that people who are already experiencing these emotional issues appear to be more prone to use social media 1011. Regarding suicidality, facebook becomes the reason for it in cases of cyberbulling; which, Geel and his colleagues state to lead to more suicidal ideation than other types of bullying 12.
As for Phubbing
Phubbing describes the habit of snubbing someone in favour of a mobile phone
Concerning the impact phubbing has on social interactions, recent experimental research 13 has unveiled that this social phenomenon sparks jealousy, it leaves individuals dissatisfied with their offline social interactions, and that it gives rise to feelings of exclusion.
The researchers arrived to these results through a study conducted on 153 participants from ages 18 to 36 (split into three different groups), who had to evaluate and report on the interaction they had with a 3D animated character (only 128 remained until the end of the study).
Irrespective of how acceptable these individuals believed phubbing to be, those who engaged with the animated characters which either phubbed constantly or most of the time, stated to have felt disengaged and their self-steem negatively affected.
In my opinion, these findings should not be a surprise at all, as such sort of face-to-face interaction fails to deliver meaning, sense of belonging, and to define our utility as a social being.
Regarding Addiction
In general, however, social media’s most widespread negative aspect appears to be its addictive features. With a study suggesting its use to be more addictive and difficult to resist than cigarette and alcohol 14. Having this in mind it is no surprise to see 72% of younger social networkers saying they neglected sleep in order to be online, 59% admitting to spend too many hours on it 15, and 20% claiming to be ‘addicted’ to it 16.
In spite of this, Internet Use Disorder is not officially recognized by the American Psychiatric Association, yet 17. Still, a Facebook Addiction Scale has already been developed by Norwegian psychologists, who found that anxious people tend to use Facebook more than those who aren’t. In the same way that organised, ambitious individuals are less likely to become addicted to the platform. This reflects the correlation personality traits have with the new psychological scale, to which conscientiousness correlates negatively and neuroticism and extraversion correlates positively 18.
Taking Control
Understanding the ordinary: Enlightenment. Not understanding the ordinary: Blindness creates evil.
Lao Tzu
Either way, despite our personality type it is down to us to be in control of our social media use. And not the other way round (social media controls us). Losing a night’s sleep because it is hard to stop browsing seems to be a little unwise. Especially if that night awake might make you feel unsure of yourself, or cause you to have doubts about how good your life is. For me, great part of this issue lies in that social media compulsive use has become the norm. When that happens, it is harder to perceive its excesses as something that can potentially lead to detrimental behaviour and emotions. Not only that, but peer pressure also begins to weigh in.
There are times when we don’t know better, and for that reason we put ourselves in distressing, hard to control situations. There are others when we actually do know a little better, but it just happens that we haven’t managed to find our way around it. What I mean by this is that by understanding social media’s potential to be addictive and our incredibly high vulnerability to develop compulsion towards it, let's formulate a way that prevents this from happening. So then, we can enjoy longer spans of attention and become more productive in our work and studies. By understand that its lack of visual cues to stop us from browsing just make us lose track of time, let's set the alarm clock (perhaps), let's control our impulses; this will help us to foster our connection with both our offline acquaintances, and closeness with our family. Remember, one doesn’t not have to exclude the other.
In order to put such strategies in place, however, it is necessary to cultivate a little mindfulness. Otherwise, we will just keep on heedlessly having soup whilst life passes us by.
Reference List:
1 -Dopaminergic Pathway
2 -Bottomless Bowls: Why Visual Cues of Portion Size May Influence Intake
3-Brain Reward Pathways
4-Social Media Effects on Young Women’s Body Image Concerns: Theoretical Perspectives and an Agenda for Research
5-What people like and dislike about Facebook.
6,10,14-Social Media and Children’s Mental Health – A Review of the Evidence,
7,8-Teens, Technology and Firendships
9-Online Harassment 2017.
11,12-Social Media Use and Mental Health among Young Adults
13 – The Effects of “Phubbing” on Social Interactions
15-What People Desire, Feel Conflicted About, and Try to Resist in Everyday Life
.
16-Biological & Psychological Reasons for Social Media Addiction
17-What Is Internet Use Disorder?
18-Development of a Facebook Addiction Scale
19-Panorama - Smartphones: The Dark Side
Image source: 1, 2, 3,4,5,6, 7
Dear Reader,
Thank you very much for, once again, taking the time to read my writings. You know how much it means to me 😊Now, I would like to know if you have ever experienced some of the emotions or behaviour discussed here in the post. How did you deal with it?
Hi @abigail-dantes, Nice to meet you!!! I am a psychologist with specialization in clinic. I am not currently exercising because of the country situation I dedicated to sales. I am happy to have found this article. The great influence that social networks have had on society is well known; however, we seldom take the time to reflect on how these consequences have acted upon ourselves. I identified with several points of your exhibition, just a week ago I was thinking about how I was affected by specifically entering Instagram, where I had mostly followed product ads or artists; When I finished surfing for hours I realized that I was awakening in a state of frustration and dismay to see so many things that I could not have or food that I could not enjoy or trips I could not do, etc. Obviously these effects depend on the personality traits of each, however, we must accept that if you are not attentive and you are not "stable" emotionally, this can be a negative contributor. In my case, because of the crisis in my country and the limitations that most of us lived, I was mistakenly taking refuge in something that did not contribute to my health and following users who contributed nothing beyond superficiality or consumerism. BUT we must highlight something: It is a blessing social networks and the benefits they give in many areas, if we decide to use them correctly. It is our responsibility to know how to use it; For example, I decided to limit the time I spend there and use it to act and think about how I can advance in other areas; start at Steemit and invest my time and knowledge in something more valued and productive. Follow people who add and do not remain; and motivating others through publications, because more and more people are looking for a refuge in their cell phones in the face of the frustration of what needs to be resolved inside and that we can cultivate with face-to-face relationships.
Thanks for your contribution! God bless you.
This is a very insight comment @mela88 :)
Thank you very much for sharing your experience with us here. I don't feel there is nothing left to be added here :) You said it all: It is our responsibility to know how to use social media in a way that make us grow and not in a way that causes us distress. Also, as you rightly pointed out here, there are other healthier ways to address and try to resolve internal and emotional issues.
Nice to meet you too!
That's right, @abigail-dantes, sometimes we must go back to the natural of relationships to cultivate our being. A pleasure also for me. I will continue reading you! a hug
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I've seen many victims of cyberbullying that ended up committing suicide. Cyberbullying should be a crime. But how do you track the faceless trolls? I always ignore the troll, just like the warning , I don't feed 'em:)
A case in point is the girl in this video (an attempt at exposing the materialistic behaviour of some people) that goes by the stage name, Anne Frank, due to her striking resemblance to real Anne Frank. Her real name was Kate Yelkovan. She had an improper relationship with a much older male who posted inappropriate videos and images of them online. The boyfriend was arrested currently serving a sentence. She was heavily bullied online. Kate later committed suicide on May 22nd 2018. More details of the sad tale can be found here
Oh! What a story Green. The poor girl :( She looks so naive in that first video ... Well, thank you for sharing this information here. It is sad, but like stated in the last video you shared, there is a huge need to raise awareness about this.
Thank you Green! :*
I have learned never to make fun of people. The awareness is important, I think more people, especially young adults, should be aware that behind the fancy or weird username is a person with real feelings and emotions. I'm from a nation where a lot of people suffer, and smile while at it. Some of us may have developed a thick skin in the process due to the environment we come from, but that is not an excuse to bully anyone whether online or offline. I tend to ignore anyone online that I sense to be a bully, some of them have much worse life and only feel good if they can drag anyone to their miserable level, which is a really sad thing to witness.
This is a wonderful comment Green. You touched on so many aspects of the online and offline world.
Thank you. We are the one to make here a better place.
I agreed with you!
That event is actually recent. So sad. Freaking idiot. May he rot in jail.
Wait, what? You can actually stop using social media? But WHY would anybody WANT to do that? Tss. People these days.
Personally, I think addiction only becomes a problem, if it has a negative impact on your life. For me, social media has been for some years now an amazing way to meet new (and sometimes even incredible) people, get new business opportunities and receive more information about people and their behaviour, than what I would have gathered only by using traditional media.
But to be fair:
This might mainly be due to the way I actually use Facebook and other stuff - to inform myself about different opinions and to keep connected with important people I rarely see.
I'm "friends" with many people whose views I don't support or even openly oppose, but I don't want to be trapped in some kind of "filter bubble" which one reaffirms my own ideas. That's probably one of the biggest dangers for thinking freely one can imagine.
Of course, I would be devasted, as soon as I'm not able to use social media for more than one or two days straight. The FOMO is strong in this one (your husband will get the reference :P ).
But this is also because I organize most of my social life exactly this way - which is easy to manage and does not bother me at all.
As long as you don't suffer from your habits and even benefit from them - keep them :)
YES! I couldn't agree more with you Ego :) I find rather frustrating to hear people just bad mouthing social media. It is down to us to know how to better use it and use it as a toll for personal growth!
Good line! You have been extra inspired lately Ego 😊
Much love to you always.
There might be a reason for why I'm extra inspired lately...
Good morning Ego :)
Oh! Please tell me 😃 but not before I take a few guesses. I was tempted to say that it is because you're in love. However, by knowing you a little I feel that this should not go on the list; which, now has been reduced to only tree options:
1 - Because you know how much I ❤ you.
2 - Because you got promoted.
3 - Because you're in your
branchbrunch years, and you don't even have to tell people what you want anymore :PMaybe sometimes it's not such a bad idea to stick to your female intuition Abi ;)
Hi smartangel 😊
Wait a minute! Is @egotheist in love? 😃 Oww... Do I know the person? I think I might know who it is 😏 Oh! I am so proud of Ego :) I ❤ even more now!!
I guess, this old dog in his brunch age can indeed learn some new tricks.
What I've discovered about social media like facebook is that it's like gall bladder coaxed in honey. Before you finish licking off the honey you're stuck with only the gall, and I can tell you it's more than just an addiction, it's like a urge to fill a void inside a soul and the reason why social medias seems so rampant and addictive is that it seems to be a solution to loneliness.
Whereas these loneliness it claims to cure is even what it causes in a long term.
I've involved in online dating as a result of dating, at first I enjoyed it, but later it only brought me pain and I discoverered I've lost too much time of my life doing nothing than living an addiction.
Wow I'm so glad I'm here this Friday to read your post again, I'm so glad I checked your blog just right on time @abigail-dantes cheers!
What an analogy @josedicus! I like very much the observation you made about loneliness. Perhaps, this means, we might be leading lives which we are not completely unfulfilled with, and try to do that through social networks. Just a thought. Either way, this is why it is important for each one of us to structure our days in order to pursue a goal; which, it turn, hopefully will bring meaning to our existence!
Realizing that you had developed compulsion towards facebook is an important step to take. But, what did you do about it Josedicus. As for me, I set the alarm clock! :D
It is always wonderful having you around and reading your incredible insights my dear.
Thank you for stopping by.
first I heard to realise; facebook isn't filling any void, rather it's even leaving bigger gaps for me to fill.
2nd I made worthwhile things my priority; for examples steemit is priority, so I established my time on steemit and used it wisely.
Third; I made facebook an options, only used it when I need to speak to someone about something urgent.
Thank you so much Abigail, your blog is a life changer.
Thank you for telling us about your experience and how you managed to turn things around. Very useful tips ❤ :)
Of course 😁😁😁 really I use to look up to your blog, every now and then. I'm a poet though, I write about my experience in poetic forms, and sometimes I need these to give me ideas. Cheers !
(Made a few errors in my first reply. Apologies)
😘
Totalmente de acuerdo! aunque no hay una evidencia concreta sobre estas estadísticas, no se necesita ser un estadístico profesional, para determinar que Facebook es el principal incitador al suicidio, ataques terroristas a escuelas, victimas de bullying, todo se refleja y se materializa por y a través de la famosa red social, me atrevería a decir que para poder participar o ser parte de la comunidad se necesita un perfil psicológico saludable emitido por un profesional.
Siendo extremadamente adictivo la famosa red social, causa estos efectos en la mayoría de los participantes, siendo muy poco el nivel de "dosis" educativa y proporcionando en grandes cantidades el ocio, morbo, bullying, en fin unas de las razones que me apartara de ella fue eso, y bueno gracias a Dios esta Steemit en esta plataforma o creces intelectualmente o te quedas atrás.
Ni se sabrá! no es porque no se pueda, sino porque no quieren revelarlo, de saber estos resultados se tendrían que adoptar muchas medidas que afectaría el factor económico de muchos y eso no conviene, debido a que se gastarían millones de dolares en reestructurar las políticas de estas redes, esto sin contar la cantidad de demandas por la aceptación de los hechos. Usted me entiende!
Solo nos queda eso mi querida amiga, la cuestión es, cuantos de nosotros tenemos la capacidad de controlar el abuso excesivo de las redes sociales? muy pocos! se necesita una cultura muy fuerte de lectura y educación, y no todos las tienen, que Dios nos ayude!
Una vez más un millón de gracias por esta publicación, con su permiso la comparto, me despido de usted con un cariñoso abrazo virtual. :*
Hello my Dearest :) ❤
What a wonderful feedback you have provided me with here! What else can I say? :) The observation you made here is truly relevant. A deeper understand, being educated about the potential negative consequences of excessive use of social media is the only tool we seem to have, at the moment.
I truly appreciate you sharing this post! Thank you 😊
Much love to you guys from Portugal! :*
Vision of worms scrolling Facebook or binge-watching some stupid TV Show made me laugh :D
What a well put article! Unfortunately, I see a lot of negative impact of social media on me and my friends. Meditation helps, but is not enough and I still feel the desire, "give up" and often dive in into this social media madness too deep. I'm quite introverted and neurotic too, so I fit the data perfectly...
For me facebook groups are especially addictive - there is plenty of really interesting, theme groups, even scientific or political ones, some of them are really worthwhile, but... they just consume too much time. I definately have to make something what Joe Rogan does - he's out of social media AND phone every August or September (don't remember which month). Suddenly he's able to do 3x more things in that "fasting" month ;)
Wow... This is so insightful..
A majority of us are hooked users with no hope or desire of breaking free.. Sadly..
Hello @ubongj :)
This is a nice reflection. And, for me particularly curious. What does this say about our nature. Right? We know we are hooked, yet, we don't even desire to free ourselves from it. I put this largely down to peer pressure.
Best :)
One of the early devs/founders of facebook greatly regrets his role in it. He says it is "tearing apart our social fabric," and does not allow his kids to use it. That alone says a lot as well as the many great points you made here.
I recently took a small break from steemit and it resulted in feeling generally more content. I'm not an avid user but sometimes it's hard comparing ones posts to others especially with $. Logically it makes no sense to compare but I think biologically we kind of can't help it.
Funny enough my last post touches on this.
I think the antidotes is meaningful engagement and not mindless browsing, and breaks!
Great food for thought @abigail-dantes
Hello there @cizzo :) Great to see you around again! Yes, it is wise taking a break. I do this myself every now and again too!
Like you observed, when financial rewards are added to the equation a whole new set of emotions arise from it. It enhances all the negative behavior and feelings we discussed here.
I like you antidote to tackle all of this. It is simple :) Oh, that quote you shared here, from one of Facebook founder's is quite shocking!
Thank you for stopping by Cizzo.
All the best to you :*
I've got this page bookmarked on my phone for three days now. Thank God I'm finally reading this now. I guess the social media companies understand the psychology you explained about having a cue to stop. So they've totally eliminated all the possible cues feeding us with an unending update in form of new post. Have you noticed that you cannot get to the end of your news feed on facebook? It keeps refreshing it.
Instagram was my worst addiction and also the first social media I deleted from my phone.
I saw a video on YouTube the other day, the man talked about how dangerous the social media is but at the end of his video he asked the viewers to follow him on twitter, like his page on facebook, subscribe to his channel on YouTube and finally they can follow him on instagram too. I think there are too many hypocrites trying to preach people not to use social media and this is proving difficult.
My suggestion is to have more people know the good part of social media and how to engage in content that will benefit them more.
And for those of you having problem to know when to stop using social media. A friend of mine told me about an app that helps you stop social media depending on the options of your settings. I wish I knew the name but a search on Google will help you out.
Thanks for this very interesting article.
I think it is wise to perform digital minimalism, meaning being present in not too many social networks, and being concious about the amount of time spent there. At least ideally, as I find that extremely hard to do, even here at steemit.
Hello there @sco 😊
Thank you for taking the time to read and share your opinion. I will definitely adopt the term you used in your comment digital minimalism. I do think this is a great step forward. Currently, I am only on Steemit. However, like you also observed. I still struggle with limiting my time on the platform (even with the alarm clock method!).
Have a wonderful weekend :)
This just brought to reminiscence the days of 2go. People got so addicted to chatting that they could stay up awake almost all night.
As if that wasn't enough; BlackBerry came on the scene, and pinging became the order of the day. And the truth is; these social media are so addictive.
I remember a time when I was in the kitchen cooking, and I just had to do some little chat with friends while I waited for the food to get done - you wouldn't believe that I was right there in the kitchen and I didn't even know when the food started burning. I could be moved to infer that my sense organs (even my nose) were beclouded by the chat. That's the power of social mediarism.
I wouldn't really know if social media has replaced the normal face-to-face meetings and hangouts people used to enjoy before the advent of tech. But the truth is; people now spend much time behind their screens; but at which expense? - Definitely, at the expense of going out to meet people.
When we were much younger, we looked forward to hanging out with friends, but the kids of this generation would just request for your Whatsapp number and chat you up.
Nice piece Abbey. You really did an expository job on this topic. Thanks for sharing
Hey Sammi :)
This is a wonderful comment. You went through a time-line there while displaying so well how our social behaviour has evolved. Interesting that you mentioned how young people nowadays, rather chat on whatsapp.
One of the studies that I came across has found that, nowadays, teens actually prefer to socialize that way than face-to-face.
I find this quite incredible, and wonder how this all will develop from here!
Thank you for stopping by.
Much love to you dear Sammi :*
hi my great @abigail-dantes the truth I have this great problem I have experienced some of the emotions that you explain in your publication, I have also tried to correct them but it is impossible because social networks are an addiction and make me forget everything external and good now that steemit appeared to my life much more. What advice do you give me as a spicologist to improve not being so addicted to social networks? regards
Hello there @catire383 :)
I truly appreciate your honesty! Recognizing that you feel a certain compulsion towards social media is a great step towards improving your behavior. NO one type of addiction is healthy! It is important to keep this in mind.
My advice is take control. Be the one in charge. Minimize the media you are in. For example, nowadays I am only on Steemit. Allocate how much type to spend on it! I mostly come around on the weekends. Find other constructive things to do offline - write, read, go for a walk. Without your phone, of course. There are A LOT of things you can do to stop this compulsion Catire.
You just need the discipline and the will to do it! 😉
Hahaha, this is a blantant truth. Its amazing you just owned a smart phone this year. I really have to think you are not tech freak.
I have been able to disentangle myself from facebook addiction(I will share this post on my facebook anyways, I havent posted in almost 6 months), now I struggle with twitter addiction. I use it to catch up with the latest news in sports, politics, countries, cryptocurrencies and comedy. Steeemit addiction is always overcomed whenever I have lots of things in my plate that almost turns me nut.
Having a right strategy to contain this will help each and individual.
Thanks for this good post.
Will resteem
Ha! So you replaced one addiction (Facebook) by another (Twitter). Whatever happened to books, right @turpsy 😉 ?
Thank you for reesteeming and sharing on your social media page! I truly appreciate it !
Take good care of yourself my dear :)
Hahaha. Well, I hope to get over twitter too soon. There is no ending to reading books😣.
Have a great weekend.
😂
Hello friend aby, once again teaching me new topics. I did not know about the Phubbing or at least that said action had a name. this time I do not feel identified directly with the theme because I do not consider addicted or attracted to this type of bad habit. However, if I have witnessed the fact that we are in a group where there is always someone disconnected from the group interaction for being focused on the cell phone, which causes a lack of respect towards the people who are present.
I hope you have a happy weekend !!! Blessings... :))
Hello my dear @rosnely :)
It is great to hear you are not hooked on social media! :D
I am glad to hear this post has brought you some new information. Phubbing is truly a social phenomenon, a negative one, though! So, let's say no to it! I do :)
Have a great day :*
Okay @abigail-dantes, once again, you have brought up some great things to ponder! For starters, the soup bowl that never stops reminds me of when I look at one video on Facebook and it immediately starts another one. Next thing I know, I've lost a half hour of precious time looking at cats getting brain freeze from eating ice cream. So, my solution to that was to not just remove the app from my phone but I also used a site blocker to keep me from looking out of habit.
I too was obsessed with Steemit for a season and when life got rather busy, I felt tremendous guilt for not being on as often. I learned to let go of the guilt and actually embrace my newfound freedom and count this time away as just another season... which too will pass... and until it does, I just make an effort to pop in to show support to others from time to time.
Next, a new word I learned was phubbing... I'm glad there's a word for it. In our household, it's not such a big problem anymore since we blocked time waster sites and apps. Still, I'll have to talk to my husband so we can agree upon no-phubbing zones because really, it becomes just a matter of priority.
Nowadays, I am also trying to balance out my time here. Last year things were getting a bit out of control ! Anyways, you still manage to be incredibly supportive, my dear and I want to take this opportunity to thank you for this too !!
A no Phubbing area is an excellent idea. Here, in our home, it is the kitchen and the dinning room! :)
Have a wonderful week!
Much love to you always.
No smartphone use in the kitchen? How do you look up a recipe you spontaneously need?
Serious question. You see, I might have not understood the concept of phubbing completely yet.
Hi Ms. Abi...
I am guilty of social media addiction.... before I joined steemit, I'm browsing my feed on Facebook for several hours, like until midnight and all I can get are pimples and information from some of my friends, but thanks to steemit, I'm not doing it anymore I rarely visit my facebook account now... BUT! I am still can't stop browsing now on Steemit, like right now shile I am writing this comment it is 1AM here in the Philippines and I'm still awake, before I had a cue on when to stop, when my voting power is only 70%, but I think I should try using an alarm,.... Thank you so much ms. Abi for everything... Have a great day... 😘😘😘
Ha! I hope that setting the alarm can limit your time on the internet! Ahahah It has been working for me. A few months ago, I was doing the same thing, until 1 o'clock in the morning ... browsing, browsing. Not anymore 😉
Much love to you always ...
:*
It is really hard but I'm trying to stop when the alarm rings.... Thank you so much Ms. Abi...
😘😘😘
Hi Abigail
I have to admit it's taken me a few days to read this article in full, the title was enough to instil dread and guilt!
Because well yes, this is me, and has been for a long time. However, I think I'm doing better - only Steemit to tackle now.
Your article is brilliantly written as always, and offers insight and enlightenment into this tough subject. Tough I think for parents, and especially those who grown up with computers and smartphones themselves. How hard it must be to serve anything other than soup in those households.
Quite a good collection of info, and nicely woven together, especially the bottomless bowl/never-ending social feed analogy.
For a month or so I tried doing everything else first and then logging onto facebook at the end of the day, IF I had time (I had a set bedtime). Sometimes I only had 15 min left, sometimes I didn't log in for days.
And I actually felt better! More relaxed. And it's not like I do anything stressful on fb, I just talk to friends. Also after I cut it I realized how much time I spent on it. It's a few minutes here and a few minutes there, but they add up to maybe 2 hours a day spent blabbing.
Speaking of which, perhaps you could one day make a post about how to create time out of thin air. Or, barring that, something similar. I haven't yet been able to watch any of the movies you recommended and the reason is lack of time! I've read many things about prioritizing, productivity, etc., and I've improved for sure, but still there's not enough hours in the day to do all that I want. Any help would be appreciated!
I learn new words every day...
Hello Alexander 😊
Ha! I find interesting when people say that they actually feel better when they have a break from facebook. I have heard this same speech from family members too; who, like you, say their time spent on the platform is not stressful. I must think about this sort of reaction a bit more.
A post about: How to make time out of thin air! 😅 Gosh, Alexander! If I only knew ... same here! I don't have enough time to do all the things I would like to do ... all at once. But, my very personal way to tackle this is alternating. It also works for me because it breaks my routine.
This is, of course, arranged all around my work/studies. So, in some months I don't watch movies. I just read books, let's say. In the summer I do SUP while in the winter I spend more time in-doors doing Yoga. Other times I need a break from Steemit, and so forth ...
But, I must say, that the fact I don't have children allows this flexibility. When I look at my brother and all the unexpected 'surprises' he has because of his little ones. I do wonder how people do it!
Oh! Glad to hear you learnt something new from my post "Phubbing" 😆
All the best to you always :)
I guess now I understand why people hire nannies!
where should i begin? i have to write so many things again :P First of all i wanna say that well done creating another amazing post and the most amazing thing is that although all of your posts are big ones and have scientific experiments, psychological factors and it's around psychology, the way you are writing this makes me read is with such an ease. So let's cut to the chase:
As you said and that's proven using social media and unconsciously we are getting full of dopamine, the same substance that lies ''within'' love,lust,motivation,gambling. I think when something is related to gambling and lust it means it's serious. Nowadays everyone has internet and fast one so easily they can search everything, see everything and talk with everyone. In other words it's the Era of Picture. As everyone knows that can be seen worldwide and a single button ''like'' can uplift their statue and prestige they will do anything to be more attractive,cool and badass.
However they don't actually understand that this is a virtual world and soon enough become the victims. It becomes and addiction, it's their drug especially if they see ''real life results'' for instance to be popular in their town. They become more and more addicted and that becoming a constant loop while at the same time they lose the essence of life.
Some time they will realize that most of the world don't give a crap about them which means reality is completely different from what they imagined. Also thy will realize that those aren't actual friends and they will realize it probably in a bad way. That will result in loneliness which you wrote about and ofc constant attention seeking which is the only thing they learnt about.
In a way it's really easy to deal with it. First of all a simple question to themselves would be ''did I earn honest money?'' probably they won't even earn money. A second one would be ''Did I learn something useful?'' watching john's check in eating ice cream isn't exactly useful. After 2 finals question would be ''Am i Actually Happy?, Am I being myself?'' and a bonus one "Can i trust those social media friends?''
To add a more personal note, i only use Facebook and note that i am 23 so for my age it's ''absurd'' :P and i only use it to communicate with friends and relatives. I don't add people that i don't know and i prefer talking face to face. Also i don't upload photos, 99% of them i am tagged and i don't do check in cause literally there is no point in telling everyone where i am. On the other hand steemit's benefits is that most of the people that are sick and tired of this social media thing came to this platform in order to actually learn and offer something and even make real friendships!
Ahh and i can't stand when i am out for coffee and someone in my company is on his phone checking at Instagram. He/she has to choose for 1-2 hours either our company or social media. If social media is the answer we gonna sit on another table or just leave you there and go somewhere else. it's harsh but it's the only way
Sorry for the extremely long post :P
Wow! What a deep reflection you shared with me here today my dear @filotasriza3 ! I truly appreciate it :)
It truly becomes a concern when people's lives turn around this. Like you said, it will be all they know. Not long ago I read on the news about this girl who ended up in jail after being caught with an obscene amount of cocaine. She was in a luxury cruise ship being a mule to some top drug dealer. She confessed she accepted to do it, because she would have awesome photos of herself in the cruise to post in her Instagram! 😕 How sad!
I also like very much the self-reflection questions you wrote here! Especially the one "Am I being myself?".
Considering your young age I am impressed by the way you decided to use Facebook. I really am! And I agree with you about Steemit being a different alternative to other social media. This is what attracted me the most about it, to begin with.
100% I say NO to phubbing! Mind you, this doesn't make me very popular with my brother's wife! Oh ... well ... 😅
Have a great weekend my dear.
Thank you for stopping by once again :)
Take Care!
hahaha then your brother's wife have missed a lot of great conversations! The next step is to learn hacking and when they are on the phone ''suddenly'' a black screen will appear :p
😈
Hi @abigail-dantes
What a great idea of how we are engrossed by social media. This opinion of yours is deep and very encompassing.
Learnt something again. Very strange word but have just taken it in.
The counsel you gave under taking control is very enriching and packed with great self help.
@sciencetech
STEM contributor
Hello there @sciencetech :)
You have a very elegant way of providing feedback. I am impressed ! You are concise and very precise with your message. This is a great talent to have :)
Thank you for stopping by.
Best.
Thanks for your nice words
😉
Really great to read this practical subject and yes, these social networking platforms made us scrollers for sure and many people always watch towards their notifications sections and wait for the magical notification.
And in my opinion people who face the phase of Loneliness they stick with social networking platforms more because they want to connect virtually. And in my opinion the major setback which gave by the social networking platform is, people are staying away from the organic and natural communications and conversations and in my opinion that's not an good sign.
We have to understand one more aspect and that is, Cyber abusing is increasing rapidly as you said. And every aspect have both good and bad pages but in my opinion technology brings the negative aspect more because our body is more organic and we are pushing it towards more technical way and we are becoming addict and that is not an good thing at all.
In life balanced movement is really important and we should explore all good things but we should not get addicted with the Social Networking Platforms because otherwise it will diminish our natural life. So in my opinion it would be good if we make technology as part of our life and not as we are part of technology.
Wishing you an great day and stay blessed. 🙂
Yep @chireerocks :) You said it all! It is all about finding the right balance. But, isn't that one of our great challenges in life? :D Either way, like you so rightly said, in the end it is mostly about using technology wisely!
I wish you all the best always :)
Thank you so much. 🙂
Social media use is a creeping process in which we no longer realize what we are doing to ourselves. Like the frog in the water which is getting more and more heated. Until he finally dies and is cooked. He didn't notice because it was slow.
I do believe that we have to jump out of the water somehow or at least just jump in from time to time so that our digital dementia doesn't take us at some point. Sometimes I feel like a blunted robot and miss my childhood playing in the dirt and it was a highlight when a movie was shown on TV.
Thanks for your post abigail
Thank you for sharing this insight with us @samidbarid :) I agree, having a break is essential! But, for that we first need awareness!
Have a wonderful week ahead my dear.
Hey, Abigail! I found myself much happier when I am offline, especially off-Fb. I haven't been active there for several months and every time I have to check my profile to see what's going on there (some professional Fb groups), I literally force myself.
So, except these rare occasions, I am Fb-free. We will see how Steemit goes. Being on Steemit for a month, my first impression is that it is a totally different environment and a different kind of social interaction. Hmmm, could be an interesting project to make a comparison?!
I was thinking of writing a post about social media and crowd behavior. But I am still thinking through the idea :)
Hello @isight-out! :D
Nice to see you here :) Well, I do hope you decide to write about Social Media & Crowd behavior. This is a topic that interests me very much. Well, it is a topic of general interest really :)
If you decide so, I am looking forward to reading it already!
I wish you a wonderful Sunday afternoon and a great week ahead.
Thank you so much for stopping by once again ❤
Hi , miss @abigail-dantes , how are you?
oh gosh , before visiting you i was trying ti think if your post was related to me again , and upon checking woooooaaahh???!!! yes!! yes!!! yes!!! , inhave just posted earlier and the last one was 3 days ago , i just felt like , not holding my phone for the past days , i am not sure where in the world i am those days , but yeah i was definitely out of the social media world , and am not sure if i am sad , disappointed , or just hormonal changes of mom , LOl , or maybe mood swings affected by contraceptive ,there , so i am so sorry for my late message for your post miss Abi
And i believe that it's true that we shoudn't let social media control us , (well i was so addict with steemit before , still am but not ao much , hehe) , there , it's still good to balance the real world and the online world , sometimes those we can see in socia media are not all real ,
the past days i've been out of steemit , just made me realize that there's more to it , real life is more beautiful but still steemit is in my heart already , so i will definitely continue to write , i may get tired at times , but will never give up
i wish you always have good health and happiness miss Abi , thanks always for your support , we love you always 😘❤️❤️❤️
Hello my dear ❤️ :)
First of all, no need to apologize! It is never too late to have a message from you :* Also, it is good to hear you have a little break from social media every now and then. This is a healthy habit to cultivate. You know I do that sometimes too. When the offline life gets too busy; well, so then I need to step away from the online life. Being able to balance things makes our daily routine a lot easier, and it is great to know you are aware of that!
And again, don't feel sad, ok? 😘
😍
thank you always for your touching words my dear miss Abi , the truth is my offline mom life is beyond busy, LOL , but i love steemit , so my hand , head and heart keeps me coming back
yeah i am thankful i have my kiddos to make me happy everyday , teying not to be sad , just mind over matter , maybe? hehe .
i have to say goodnight from here now miss Abi, actually mornighr already 1 am , hehe
@abigail-dantes 😘❤️❤️❤️
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"Having said that, the question I raise is: what is so pleasant about scrolling up and down your newsfeed, anyways? "
Easy, boobs and cute cats
I agree with the cute cats 😃 As for boobs ... really? On your facebook feed? Who have you befriended? All right, none of my business! 😝
Boobs don't have to be naked 😎
Cute dogs are fine too
hey, great post! very well composed...I’m a psychologist myself, about to begin grad. school next month, so naturally I loved this.
I wish you a very successful future @novus-locus :)
Hi @abigail-dantes!
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my most sincere greetings to your beautiful person ... this is an important issue since they have lost personal and sentimental relationships for this malhabito of many people today. For my part I do not consider myself addicted to networks, because I have other responsibilities that keep my mind occupied and I have no chance to invest time in them. I hope you have a happy weekend and I look forward to the next week with a new topic to learn!
It is great to hear your social network use in under control @julybm! Congratulations to you :)
This is a good one addressing social media addiction.
I did noticed this in my everyday life around mid last year. Social media made a procrastinator out of me. Instead of going about the things I intend doing, I will be like "let me respond to few messages on whatsapp" I end up spending hours chatting. Facebook and Instagram too, continuous scrolling down to see more and more funny, beautiful, love and entertainment pictures and videos. The plan was always to spend few minutes, but I only remember to stop when phone's battery power is down.
How did I controlled that of facebook?
I set a rule... Only a particular number of posts and thats all, I don't try to see what the next post is, I minimize the application or browser immediately.
That worked for me!
I haven't figured out how to deal with whatsapp though.
Good to hear that you recognized and addressed your impulses towards social media @herbayomi. After all, it is our choice, whether to turn social media into something that enhances our life style, or jeopardizes it. My solution for Whatsapp is to put my phone on silence when I need to concentrate. People have already learnt I am not always on it.That actually has prevented them from sending me so many videos, and memes etc..
Good tip you left us here. Thank you for sharing your experience @herbayomi! :)
Oh yeah! It's left to us to choose rightly.
I think I will try out this your solution for whatsapp distraction. I am certain its gonna work out.
Thanks for sharing that with me @abigail-dantes
And its my pleasure to share mine also. :)
I have always wondered why most people constantly seek approval and validation...and I think this our constant sought for approval could be linked to social media addiction as we tend to seek external validation from the outside world regarding ourselves. It would mean a lot to me If you could do a post shedding some light on our need for external validation. Thanks
Oh! I could, perhaps, write an essay about Our Need to External Validation and share here @moshroom! Thank you for suggesting this topic. I am sure many people would be interested in reading about this too! 😊
I'd very much love to read your take and research on it...Thanks a lot
Impressive, i didn’t know that the lack of visual cues can build such an addiction ! For a long time, i searched methods to become more motivated to study, i found that just by beginning to do the task, i feel an urge to finish it ! Is there a relationship that i miss here ?
I am confident to say this is due to the role the dopaminergic pathway plays in motivation :) Like we discussed in the post. I don't think you missed anything @fancybrothers 😊
Nowadays mobile phones and social networks have become a very important tool for work, distraction or maybe connect with that old friend who had no time to speak, or who lives miles away. But this has led us to forget about the people who surround us and live with us, whether at family gatherings or among friends it is common to see almost everyone stuck on the phone and not interacting with each other, I think that everything in excess is wrong and although cell phone and networks are very good, use them excessively and living close to them can be harmful.
It is only up to us to keep our impulses in check and prioritize things correctly! Like I said on the post, our offline life doesn't have to exclude our online life and vice-versa :D
Thank you for taking part in this debate @jesusagon
Have a wonderful day!
This is a very educative post. I really don't know what to say but this is really too good..great knowledge and a new vocabulary for me phubbing
Thank you @bhoa :)
It is wonderful to hear you got something new out of this post!
Have a great day :)
The truth is that I have been attracted to social networks and I recognize that I have dedicated a large part of my time to them. Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook developer said in an interview that people felt the need to know what others did and that similarly these same people wanted to share what they did at a certain time.
It is a fact that behind social networks there is a large study of psychology, oriented to understand what each person thinks, their behavior, tastes, among others. This has been the basis for the development of the algorithm responsible for showing the news section of this social network mentioned above.
The feeling of gratification or pleasure to consume visual content related to our tastes generates a kind of addiction and by not receiving these stimuli you have the same need for any other addiction, it is imperative to take the pc and check social networks in order to feel satisfied .
In the same way I have noticed this behavior in the gamer community, personally in previous years to have a job, I used to spend whole days playing online games, known as MMORPG and the truth at that time was a way to disconnect from reality , but little by little I was leaving behind that behavior that even took me away from my family or friends.
The truth is that I do not feel anything wrong in spending a few hours in an activity that helps us to distract ourselves for a moment from all that daily routine, what if it is true is that limits must be established and not exaggerated in the time devoted to social networks or a video game and spend time sharing with other people.
greeting @abigail-dantes.
This is precisely the message of this post @petvalbra :)
Thank you for you very elaborate feedback!
Best.
Greetings my dear @ abigail-dantes, congratulations once again for such a wonderful post. To begin I mention that I am a Graphic Designer and one of my jobs is to advertise on social networks like Instagram and Facebook, and your point of view has caught my attention and you are right. My job is to make good publicity, make flyers or images to make known either a product or a specific brand, in an attractive way to capture the attention of the consumer since the main idea is to "sell" and attract followers. And this leads to this very thing, this social networks has been a social BOOM from which many companies are taking advantage, and fence that work. We are living a new era where technology and these "social networks" are taking much of our life and essence, many people even become addicted to these media, making them even more social through a network than in personal life, why I wonder why this phenomenon is due? And this I guess that brings us to this part
Something that caught my attention because I think that in a certain way even I have fallen into this addiction, and I could see it since a month ago my cell phone was damaged and for me it was almost dead hehehe .... First I experienced a feeling of emptiness and anxiety, I needed to see and know what was happening in the networks !!! But fortunately I noticed this situation and only then after all this I relaxed and even felt that I took a weight off, and I can say with base that right now I dedicate myself at times to networks, obviously it's my job, but When I got home, I simply put aside my cell phone and dedicated my attention to my girls and the work of my home. I was distracted by watching movies and I realized that if my cell phone had not been damaged it would surely remain submerged there without realizing it.
Once again, thanks for such a wonderful post, I hope it will serve many people who, even without knowing it, are submerged and living their lives through social networks.
I'm late to the party, but regarding the paragraph about Bottomless Bowls:
Wansink has recently been taken under the magnifying glass and many of his articles are under question with several of them being retracted from journals altogether.
He is charged with questionable research practices, i.e. P-hacking (on steroids)... He basically took the results he obtained and kept spinning them round nd around for long enough (omitting some information along the way, of course) until he obtained a seemingly significant result.
Wansink's reserach, hence, is highly questionable.
Great article as always nevertheless, @abigail-dantes! :D
Food and our relationship with it is just something I've recently been very interested about and have read a lot of Wansink's research on the topic, amongst others. Truth be told, I wrote an entire book on "our psychological relationship with food" because I see my family and friends suffering from several food disorders and it's so much easier to present them with something in written form, rather than spoken. It will be published in less than two months now - at the moment the text is being reviewed and will hence soon be ready for a final edit. If you're interested in my (likely first published) work, I'll let you know when it's out ^^
P.S.: I promised you a loooong time ago I'd write something psychology-based. This is what I have been up to. :P Though this work will highly likely not be freely available on Steemit, I have found I enjoy writing psychology related articles, and will therefore most certainly be writing more - some of which is bound to be freely available, should you not be interested in my book. ^^
Hey @svashta :)
It is nice to see you around! thank you for pointing this out.
I am looking forward to see the final product of your psychology based project :D
Not a problem at all!
It's good to know whether a source is questionable or not - not all research results are
createdinterpreted equal.As for the articles to be freely available on Steemit, I honestly even picked up writing right now, but will likely publish them only after the book itself gets published so I can have that linked to the bottom of the article. Or something? haha :D I'm only one man and can only do so much. I want to dive into these psychological waters, but also want to finish my collection of "horror stories" and publish those. Oh well, can't expect optimal from life, can you? :p
The social networking site has significant damage to society
The most important causes of isolation damage
Really difficult
Great article thank you for the wonderful information
Hello there @roselover :)
I don't think social media is that bad at all. One cannot deny its benefits. It is really down to us to make it either more positive or negative to our lives.
Thank you for commenting.
Best,
I just found your post resteemed by @katerinaramm, it's 5.20 am here and I'm browsing Steemit for nearly an hour now, having watched the second video on Kate's cause. What a sad story.
I tend to turn to social media on nights where I lack sleep for different reasons. It's probably much easier to turn on a smartphone and read than a classic night desk lamp and read a book. The latter also is more prominent to others, I think.
Like others, my use of Facebook and Twitter has shifted towards Steemit, even though Facebook became less attractive for me before.
I'm without a mobile phone for months now having lost the last one. Thus, I can turn off Steemit for some time. Being unemployed, that might be important, I guess. I won't leave home otherwise at all, I suppose. Well, apart from appointments which are not optional.
Within the last year, I have made up my mind to some extent about the people in social media. I have a lot of Twitter contacts I never met in person. And I'm in a huge disagreement with some I once met in person about some stuff. I was fond of the contacts I had there for some time. But that has shifted to some extent. We're all just people with little extra packages we are dealing with, concurring views on things and so on. I value personal contacts much more now.
Hello dear friend. I agree with your comments. The Internet and social networks for my people are like cigarette or alcohol addiction. I think timing to use that is a good way. Of course, I stop using the Internet in vain and don't spend time on the Internet.
upvote
Hello there @s0os0o7
I am confident to say this is something seen across the globe! What sparks my curiosity though, is that unlike you, who don't spend time on the internet. What are most of people doing about this? Everyone seems to recognize it is an addiction, but little action is being taken to either stop or prevent it! :)
Thank you for reading.
Best.
wink.
The cell phone and social networks every day are causing great addiction among people, many people especially young people when they visit certain places are more interested in photographing themselves and upload the photo to their networks just to feel popular, and not to enjoy and take advantage the place in question.
Yep! I totally agree @yunairy; but then again, a lot of people seem to be aware of this, yet this sort of behavior is still adopted by most of people! :)
Thank you for commenting.
Many times people show in social networks a life that is not really the one they live, usually they usually place their pictures in good places and not in bad and even pictures of places where they have never visited. A person sees among his followers that everyone travels, everyone goes to the beach, everyone goes to parties, everyone boasts luxurious cars and houses, and perhaps causes a little trauma and feels inferior. And surely the reality is that the photo of the beach is from a month ago, the photo of the party is from last year because he has no money to go out, the photo is with a rental car and the house belongs to a friend.
Hello there @jesusvieira :)
I have come across research that found that those who are authentic have a much, much better experience on social media and benefit more from it than those who aren't! If people want to do that ... well, sure there must be a reason why. Nevertheless, we don't have to give them audience. Don't you think?
Thank you for commenting.
All the best.
You put a lot of work into this...how many people do you think will read until the end?
I read to the end :)
😘
Serious ones do read to the end. Lazy ones don't, and so hardly make any headway here. That's the truth
😂This is a peculiar comment! To which I don't have the answer :)
Just helped out with the right answer. Worry not😂
😆
Thanks for the research @abigail-dantes, I identified with most of what you mentioned. It's really enlightening, thanks for sharing. Amazing content
Thank you for stopping by @vwovwe :)
Hello @abigail-dantes
We have chosen your post as post of the day for our DaVinci Times. We will likely help established researchers of Steemit, and regardless of whether our vote is still little we would like to develop in rapidly! You will before long get our genuine upvote! In the event that you are occupied with science tail us sto take in more about our undertaking.
Hello there@binance-trade I truly appreciate your support regardless of the size :) Thank you very much for stopping by.
But, could you please make your last sentence a little clearer? I am finding hard to understand it :
Best :)
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