What Is Your Natural Reaction When Someone Is Rude To You For No Reason?
If you're at all like me, you show the same respect that someone shows you. So when someone out of the blue comments "Are you done or not motherfucking idiot?" followed by "I cant hear you motherfucking idiot, ARE YOU DONE OR NOT?," you have a few options.
- Return rudeness with rudeness
- Ignore it
- Heap (metaphorical) burning coals on their head
Option 1 is easy. Option 2 can get old. But option 3? Let's see what this burning coals may be about
Proverbs 25:21-22 If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.
You do not need to be a Christian or even religious to see the value in these two short verses.
The Apostle Paul later went on to say
"Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good"in which he evidently explains what is meant by heaping coals of fire on an enemy’s head, namely, by acts of kindness, to soften his heart and dispose him to friendship; which is the natural effect of a generous unexpected goodness.
My decision is to act respectfully towards @feminism. I do not know him or her and do not really wish to until they decide to act like an adult.
Children tend to get small allowances. Maybe had @feminism approached me in a respectful way he/she would have been able to speak his/her mind. But since I was treated childishly I will not react in the same way, but give a small gift to @feminism. Maybe it gets squandered or used to fund a hateful account.
I am not advocating giving repeat trolls lots of money, but you never know where someone is at in their life. I'd guess most people with negative reputation have some real issues going on in their life so I will give @feminism $1.50 worth of steem dollars and allow them to respond as they wish.
I will not trade barbs or hatred. I'm not better than him or her, but I would put forth an argument about our maturity levels.
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Update: @feminism has responded
Respectful and passionate. Glad to have heard his response
He isn't misunderstood. He stalks women on this site who write about past experiences of rape, and accuses them of lying.
He's been doing this to my friend @lauralemons for weeks (as well as friends of hers) leaving multiple posts per day, blogging about her, trying to turn people in the comments against her, accusing her of plagiarizing artwork, etc.
This guy is a hardcore woman hater and a creep. Showing him kindness isn't going to stop those behaviors unless you're a man, and you haven't defended one of his targets yet.
As an example of the lies he tells about people, he did the translation long after I posted a notice that I'd already found somebody to do it. His intention was to put social pressure on me to force a small monetary concession to him which he knew would make me uncomfortable, because he's harassing people I care about.
Rightly said. You are well come up. But you can get the opposite effect it :) When you are resourceful to insult in order to receive your $. I wish you all good.
Steem on @bendjmiller222
Thanks for the kind words @breathe3000. I appreciate you taking the time to read the article and respond. I really like meeting new people in the comment section and hope you will continue to write thoughtful responses on not only my posts, but others as well.
Just because English may not be your native tongue, doesn't mean you shouldn't write your feelings. Grammar and tenses can be forgiven because I myself make those mistakes.
Up-voted in part because you tagged "religion" for your post about someone with the name @ feminism, which I DO NOT think was on accident. :P ;)
Trolls can never handle cavalier confidence and brush-offs, so the heaps of burning coals have likely been felt.
Haha thank you @dragonanarchist. Yes it was intentional.
I am happy to have a respectful dialogue with anyone and feel that people deserve the chance to redeem themselves.
I do feel that @feminism is a coward and compensating for either a lack of confidence or low self e"steem" (pun intended). If he would do an #introduceyourself post and reveal what he looks like instead of hiding behind a username,
I'd be happy to talk with him. I highly doubt he has the balls to do that or to ask for forgiveness from those he has tormented like @lauralemons and revealed myself as the secret-writer if he is indeed the same person behind the @earnest account.
Silencing The Troll! Exposing @earnest for his disrespect to @stellabelle and others if you care to read.
What a generous gesture but rewarding for being rude is the wrong message. I just got a cocky answer yesterday on my story about Rok & Nia's wedding . My third encounter with @feminism I grant everybody their opinion and even though I find it rude I see a little valnurable side about this profile and checked out some music posts and even commented because I love Chet Baker . I keep on following her / him to see if there are changes in attitude , giving a chance and my attention in a way . It seems to be some "hurt puppy" but I would not reward unless she/him gives me a reason to do so.
I agree and this is a one time micro payment to someone who doesn't deserve it. It's like if someone were to be shouting the N words at a bunch of black people and those people turned around and bought that racist lunch. Maybe the shouter continues to be a jerk, but maybe they were hurt by a person at a young age and a show of kindness when retaliation is expected could bring them to be a positive member of society. $1.50 is well worth the ability to share this strategy with others. (I do not ask anyone to condone trolling, but reaching out to trolls and trying to understand them is a good thing).
Thanks for this !!!
https://steemit.com/exposetrolls/@anxietymaven/dantheman-exposing-the-trolls-and-harassers-be-the-change-steemit
Thanks for this !
Wow never seem that kind of hate on Steemit before between two people. This type of behavior does not belong on the platform by @feminism. If you are going to behave like a child leave the platform.
@acassity, I've dealt with THAT person today to. NOT fun. No one wants to do anything about it. There are many people who have experienced the fun of that person. Now that person has followed my account because and I flagged them a bunch of times on violent, abusive and inappropriate behavior. They revenge flagged me back. That the only thing that can be done. @stellabelle had made a post at one time asking @dantheman to put in a block button or a ghost button to help us get rid of this person but it hasnt happened or cannot be accommodated. I am unsure which. Personally, I'm about to inquire as to how to delete my account permanently because NO ONE should put up with the insaneness from THAT person. This needs to be a safer space for this community. It was built to be awesome but there are no safeguards in place. You can hit the mute button but it doesn't do anything except partially prevent you form seeing comments. We need a "remove the community trash" button.
Yeah, and you'll be the judge, right?
I have zero problem putting anyone on blast for their bad behavior. So yes I will be the judge. Its pretty clear you like to hang with the best of them or your the same person as @feminism soooo yah. Basically. Its now my mission to take out the trash. Ill keep doing it until someone in a higher place of authority decides its time to put in a block button specifically for nice people such as yourself. You should have to answer for yourself in a public forum. FYI, you aren't doing so well. Your reputation is 1. LOL. Why do you even come here? Oh that's right. To torture us. You have no original content to contribute, nothing nice to say and that makes you wart on the ass of STEEMIT along with @feminism and @earnest. HAVE A NICE DAY DARLING SWEETHEART
How funny how we have a descentralized network and people want to call someone of authority. BTW the judge and the punisher are two different things. Your judgment is clouded and you want to do both
Marshal B. Rosenberg would have been proud of you!
I am for sure.
The last part of course "small amount for a small reputation" could be interpreted as passive aggressiveness and it stings somehow. (still it´s funny).
I would not have been able to react in the proper way, so I will shut up at this point. Who am I giving advice...
I can't let it go completely without a little of my tongue in cheek humor. Considering what I normally would do to someone like this, steemit has changed my perspective greatly. I don't need to defend myself against @feminism, but maybe this will be something others can look at and see about not engaging in the same way they are treated.
It's not easy and I am no better than anyone else for choosing this path, but for me I it causes a lot less emotional stress to respond with love instead of hate.
I consider this post harassment
Matthew 6:3 But when you give to someone in need, don't let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.
Matthew 6:4
so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.
Right bro, don't let those negative forces stressed you out, there not worthy.
Yes. Before the reputation system this would have been a bigger problem. Trolls should be ale to voice their opinion, but those who do not wish to see what they have to say should be able to vote them down and leave the trolls hate stuck in invisibility mode. Maybe that is a steemit troll's superpower - Invisibility.
I'm feeling a mom-like pride here over you, @bendjmiller222. Well done.
:) It's nice to have a sweet mom-like figure here on steemit.
I love the range of ages and backgrounds represented here. I do feel that we could benefit from some 80+ year olds (and hopefully you do not think that I think you are 80+ haha). They tend to not care what anyone thinks of them and wish to impart wisdom on us.
I'd love a grandma or grandpa steemwhale who could give us all some deeper knowledge than what we currently know already.
haha - Some days I feel about 80 :) Pushing 50, so probably still skewing the age range - but yeah, there's probably some earned wisdom (i.e. learning stuff the hard way) to share. They say it's smart to learn from your mistakes - and brilliant to learn from others'. That you learned how to handle a troll so graciously shows some wisdom in you - and I'm hoping others will see what you did there and follow suit.
Thank you for the kind words. And that is my personal choice as to how I handle myself. I can understand acting out in hate, but have found it wastes too much emotion and doesn't get me anywhere.
I don't know the motive behind anyone's actions. Even people that may come across as the nicest people ever may be complete jerks in person, but I'll take someone fake being nice over someone being rude any time.
It can get annoying if someone only posts the most wonderful things about everyone. Sometimes peoples work is not up to par and they need to be called out. Not because you want to be a jerk, but because to have steemit be successful long term we need to continue to strive to make content that is rarely seen elsewhere.
Being relatively troll free has afforded some great honest conversations and I am looking forward to what steemit has in store as more people adopt the system and important changes / decisions are made.
I only is, that nothing is.