I was so excited when I managed to secure an open seat next to the sultry temptress at the bar. I mean she was obviously a little drunk, but she had the cutest little slur. I found it very hard to believe that she was alone, with no one to talk to. I found it even harder to believe that she was willing to talk to me.
Maybe it was because I wasn't wearing the same striped button up as the pack of ravenous guido-fuck-boi-types lurking in the shadows of the bar. I decided to wear something that I felt comfortable in, something that represented me. This in itself made me unique. I'm not out there looking for someone to take home for a night and get my rocks off with a quick upvoting. I'm looking for connection.
Unfortunately as I sit here I realize why I was the "chosen one". It wasn't because I bring an honest originality to the table. It was because I was one of the only people willing to listen.
Although she had no concept of the importance and power of brevity, (discussed in "Keep it short, stupid"), I could forgive her for that. I found myself still willing to hold her hair at the end of the night as she would inevitably hurl up those apple-tinis, she was drinking. I was late getting to the bar so I can only speculate that like many others, the fuck-boi-brigade probably only made it 62 words in, before diverting their attention elsewhere.
I'm better than them, right?
Nope.
I'm a great listener but, after 4 hours of listening to her banter on about "50 useful things you can knit from cat hair", I found myself sweating. The way she just kept droning on about certain topics was killing me. I'll give her the benefit of a doubt and say she might have had a few points on her subject matter but the density of her words had me feeling claustrophobic. Not to mention that she never gave me a chance engage in conversation. I not only lost interest in her message but I was more or less just waiting for my turn to talk.
Recently I did a post, (you can find it here), where I tested the diligence of readers on SteemIt. The article was purposely sensationalized with the information that NASA had found proof of life on Mars. Within the context of a dense scientific excerpt from Wikipedia I hid a paragraph that told readers it was a total farce, and the scope of what I was testing. I told them to use the words "blue" or "magenta" in their comments on the article to show me that they "found" this paragraph.
Out of the 79 upvotes that I received there were 15 people that I know of, that found the "hidden" paragraph. This is roughly an astounding 19% of people. Many of which are friends that would most likely read anything that I write . (Or do they?) More interestingly, I've found that I have also failed at engaging the minds of my readers because only 4 people followed the instructions of using "blue" or "magenta" in their comments. That's roughly an abysmal 5% of upvoters on the post.
This makes me feel like a lot of us are, "the drunk girl" at the bar. Even me.
As I make my decision to part ways with my bar stool sitting next to the drunk girl at the bar, I interrupt her describing the benefit of "kitten mittens":
"Look. It's not you. It's both of us. We all need to learn to listen better at times. We both need to learn to get to our points more quickly. We need to remember kindergarten where we learned to take turns, and allow others a chance to engage. I'm not trying to belittle you. I'm only trying to help."
I walk away to the solitude waiting for me at the end of the bar. This leaves her astonished.
I call out for the bartender.
"Bartender, give me a bourbon dressed neat, and send the fuck-boi-wolf-pack over there a round of Jäger Bombs on me. They were right for once. Not everyone wants to listen to endless bantering, even if you are interested in the person behind the words."
I still find myself wanting that connection. The engagement that a succint, engaging post leaves me with.
Looking around the bar of SteemIt I see that there are plenty of these posts out there that do this. There are more that do not. Right now I have my eyes on an under-appreciated beauty that didn't get enough attention. Not sure why more people didn't see her. Maybe people didn't find her appealing. Did they not see the birthmark on her left cheek resembling Henry Winkler?
Either way I know with a straight-to-the-point beauty like her I won't be just waiting my turn to speak.
Shout out to the 20% that (almost) read this. You all are the reason I keep writing.
If you liked this article make sure to follow me.
If you hated it, let me have it in the comment section.
If you find yourself needing help stop in and join us in the SteemIt chat in the steemprentice channel. Tell them kryptik sent you.
Hello @kryptik,
Your post has been chosen by the @robinhoodwhale initiative as one of our top picks today.
Learn more about the Robinhood Whale here!
The Steemit community looks forward to more great stuff from you. So, please keep on Steeming!
Goodluck!
~RHW~
I really enjoyed the way you painted a picture of the small nuances that make up an experience. I felt like I was the one sitting with the soultry temptress in the bar.
Cool story bro!
... no I am not the drunk girl at the bar sorry ...
#steemprentice
Can I buy you a drink? ;)
source: anniecallahan.com
No thanks. That wouldn't be a good idea! Better yet give it to the sexy girl!
Great points made. I got some laughs in, too. Following.
Good one! This reblog feature is helping me to find accounts to follow, woohoo. (Brief enough ;) )
I lost you after good one.
Thanks for reading. I'm so stoked to be able to see new people reading my work through reblogging. That's awesome!
you don't find trouble, trouble finds you LOL
come on, when u r drunk you say all sort of stuff. dont blame the girl, blame the alcohol.
This had me reading through the whole way. Analogies are always really powerful.
Brevity is one of the toughest aspects of writing. It's tough to know for sure whether people will interpret what you mean the way you imagine...if they even read it...so I just figure that misunderstanding is fated either way, and chop off half of everything I write. but sometimes might as well keep the length; does it always matter if someone reads all of a short post or the same length of a longer post? Depends on whether the material has a definite beginning, middle or an end. If it has no "end", keep writing lol Besides, people will at least skim and read the last few sentences.
Thanks! I was kind of scared to post this. I wasn't sure how receptive people would be. I actually cut this article down a LOT. I was hoping it didn't lose it's meaning.
It is so hard to kill your darlings.
You make a point with people reading short vs people reading that same amount of a long article. I just hope people understand they need to get to the point before readers miss out on it.
Great comment. You get a follow on that alone. I'll check out some of your work later.
Sometimes you have to strangle your children in the crib to make room for better children.
Read that in Parenting magazine?
That's real life, yo. Real life, real talk.
Fo sho.
Excellent what you have posted, good view. Thank you so much
Well thanks! Do you feel like you might be making your posts too long?
@kryptik "drunk girl" would be an upgrade for me lol Cheers
There you go lol.
Hey baby wanna buy me a drink.. ? ;.D~
I got you.
As long you promise to take me home and give me a rough upvoting.
I like you, you're pretty
*vomits in own shoe *
It's about closing
Don't worry puking doesn't even bother me. Here let me drive your moose. I think you've had a little too much to drink.
We need more men like you in the world.
Have you ever driven a moose? You almost are better off drunk to be honest.
The trick is that you need to use some maple syrup on a stick to lead them.
Bahahaha. It's almost like you're a true Canadian!
If Trump gets elected I might become one. I hear the weather is better in Mexico though. Unfortunately my pasty white skin can't handle more than 3 nano-seconds of sun light. I was made for Canada.
Bravo! I appreciate the care with which your reward your readers. It's writing like this, with it's interesting links and clean flow, that reminds readers like me that the point is to enjoy and be stimulated, not to hoover something up. I think we've all felt like that girl at the bar. My post on the 40 Useful Things You Can Knit From Cat Hair came up ten short.
LOL Please link me up here. I've been dying to get a new tablecloth.
Thanks for reading.
This is a tremendously helpful and detailed comment. I want to let you know that it's comments like these that absolutely make my day.
Maybe I'll have to write it now, LOL! I'm so glad you liked my comment. Yay!
Very funny, except for the cringy boy hair.
You don't find that attractive?
Thanks for reading.
(You should totally write a poem on "cringy boy hair".)
Boy hair, boy hair
Spikes and such
look like goobers
with small nuts..
Did I poem right?
Nailed it.
I really enjoyed this read! Consistent flow throughout! Can also relate to the fuckboi's at the bar. Was never one of them myself and always hated when a gaggle of them would gather at the bar.
Twats. (so negative of me lol! but, I'm not perfect in any sense of the word)
Never met a lady that's bored me, so I've been lucky so far!
Beware of the fuck boi wolf pack! They come to haunt your nightmares and invade your dresser for all of your extremely small shirts!
Seriously though, they always travel in gaggles.
Glad you've read this man!
Haha. I'm going to follow you. You write very well. And you make me laugh too :)
Thanks! I followed you back friend. When I wrap it up at work I'll check your work out.
awesome :)
DRUNK GIRLS AT THE BAR!!!
RIP Harambe.
I have to say I was fully engaged while reading this post and I think you made some good points!
Thank you sir! I saw that you re-blogged my post and I'm absolutely flattered. At a loss for words. You're the man, man.
Really nice written post that actually caught me off guard in the direction that you took it. Very comical approach to an important topic. There do seem to be a plethora of ramblers but there is value in most people's attempts at posting a specific subject or preferential interest. I believe as long as you stay true to how you write and be yourself, your key audience will gravitate towards you as you continue building your network. My posts vary from length and directive language. If your writing material is versatile you can do it all without being penalized, but no matter what, everything is scrutinized. Steem on, looking forward to your next post. Upvoted
Thanks!
Amazing comment.
You're welcome.
You know, some of us thought we were supposed to make our reply contain text that was blue or magenta colored. Boy were we dumb.
Na, I kind of messed that one up. I take full blame.
I don't like to blame. So I'm not gonna blame anyone! :p
Translation: BURN HIM!
nice post, I have felt this way too. Trying to differentiate between ranting and quality post that I make.
We're all learning here.
Well most of us, at least. As I said in the post, if you ever feel like you need help stop in #steemprentice in the chat. It's free, and the group is great.
What was your pick up line?
Me: Excuse me ma'am you seem to have dropped something.
Her: Ummm.... (looks around) I don't think I have.
Me: Your standards. Hi I'm kryptik.
Hey there baby, hic wanna chat about sixty-five of the most interesting little-known celebrity facts...? We can go hic back to my place.
I just pictured drunk Buzzfeed. That should be a thing.
Your writing is so compelling, and I love the message of this. I completely agree that we don't listen to others enough, sometimes people are too self-absorbed. I love how you started by talking about how perhaps it was what you were wearing and things that you'd noticed about yourself but she wouldn't have. I like how you gradually led us to the conclusion. Thank you for sharing this with us.
PS: I'm new here, my friends suggested that I also make an account here. Your work is the first, apart from my friends', that I've commented on. It was a pleasure to read.
PSS: What attracted me to your post at first (just in case you want to know), was the title. It seemed fun, and it indeed was :)