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RE: Apparently you can't discuss your emotions if you got paid...

in #steemit7 years ago

See, here's the thing – I'm right there with you. Given the choice, I would much rather have people actively engaging with my content and me, if I could be guaranteed that consistently, then just an upvote – even if that upvote gives me money.

Ideally, and I feel pretty comfortable speaking for both of us, we get both. Someone would upvote us, preferably a whale with a lot of money, and then they would leave a comment of more than a single sentence that told us why they liked our stuff, and what they wanted more of.

Or even why are stuff is crap and what they would like less of.

In either case, the communication, the connection with an audience, is at least as important if not more so than a mere basic signal.

Part of that is finding the right audience for your work, and that is extremely hard to do on Steemit. In fact, I might even go so far as to say that finding an audience for your work is best done elsewhere, in places where the things that you do are commonly shared, and hope thereby that you can bring some of those people over to Steemit to possibly get their monetary rewards in the future.

But first, get their attention.

I'm not sure this sort of thing exists, but it seems that most of the really good "communities" of like-minded people have moved off of Steemit.chat and onto various Discord servers. Is there a fiction writers community? I have no idea – but if there is one, I'll bet they have a Discord server and tend to talk to each other about their work.

If they existed, I might want to jump in there, too.

Consider this my active outreach to a fellow writer, with the support implicit in saying, "yes, wanting the engagement with the community is a thing and it's a perfectly reasonable thing. It seems clear that you've been dealing with some unreasonable people. Stop doing that."

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Lets be honest for a second, just a split second. Most of us came here because of the money. Though the blockchain and the cool tech probably played a role for some of us.

But now we're here, and we're getting payouts, and we're realizing how much engagement matters as well.

Engagement hasn't always been great on other platforms. Sometimes that has to do with a small audience. Sometimes it has to do with the audience having too active of feeds, so they don't see your content. Sometimes the conversations are actually better on Steemit. I have had some amazing discussions on here, so I suppose in the future it will likely be better.

I actually hate discord for a similar reason. It doesn't have that chatroom feel. It's like a forum in many ways. So sometimes you can end up being lost in all that. It often feels like my comments get less notice than a standard chat room, or a forum. As a result I've begun to loath every time I go there. I'm sure there are other softwares out there. I dunno why suddenly everyone is so obsessed with discord.

I'm perfectly happy with the payments I've gotten. Mostly because SDB is so high. If I could earn this monthly I'd be fine with it. Especially with trading as well.

But the trails actually somehow make it feel more empty. All these people voting, and yet a post over there that go next to nothing has this amazing discussion. Like it's a hollow victory.

I kinda feel like I might end up with way more money than I think I deserve for the effort, trying to get that discussion.

I don't think necessarily even fellow writers is what I need though. Although perhaps it could help in certain ways.

I also don't fully blame other people for spewing that same shit many of us have encountered, trying to convince us that we need to show unwavering appreciation for all we get. Pretend you loved that gift you got from someone that has no clue what you like, on this fake holiday that purports to celebrate the birth of someone, yet has something to do with a creepy fat man that watches you constantly. And eat all your veggies, because there are starving children in Africa.

Yet here I am, with all these clean water, and I'm only getting a few morsels, but I shouldn't complain, because at least I got something.

Sorry for being all over the place.

I know I still have to grow my account a ton. In a way, it's amazing that I've grown this much this quickly. And others will look at that and say I shouldn't complain. But I will still have this frustration, so they're basically telling me to shutup. And that actually sucks way more than just not getting enough input.

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It seems clear that you've been dealing with some unreasonable people. Stop doing that.

can you elaborate on this? what kind of people are you referring to? and why do you think that it needs to be stopped??
@lextenebris

People that tell you to "stop complaining" because you "have more than others" but your emotional reaction is driven by a desire for things which they aren't actually talking about?

You know, the entire point of what I was saying.

That's an unreasonable position. Forget the fact that it's irrational; we can accept irrationality. It's unreasonable; it lacks reason.

I am far from the most empathetic person in the world, and very well may be the least empathetic person short of Bernie on Steemit, but even I have enough experience in life to recognize that listening to people who tell you that your desire for engagement with others through your work is something you shouldn't want enough to feel that you're not getting enough of it?

Those people are assholes.

I totally believe that you can stop interacting with those people. Go elsewhere. Do something else. Find someplace else to be. It is always your choice as to whether you interact with people or not. We have the ability to make those decisions, if only we have the wherewithal to execute on them.

Clearly, he is not being made happy by his association with these people. As such – he should stop doing that.

Life is far too short to keep hitting your scrotum with a hammer and waiting for it to feel good. Put the hammer down.

this whole thing you just said, don't make sense to me.
It's up to him if he wants to stop trying and give up,


but it's not a very social thing to do. that's not how the world works.

I told him to stop dealing with people who are assholes and who have no sympathy for his position.

I told him to find different people to hang out with, because the ones he's associating with her clearly not making them happy.

That is the very definition of a social thing to do. Don't hang out with people who are toxic. Don't hang out with people who don't understand the things that you want in life. Don't expose yourself to the opinions of people who don't matter.

Do the work. Love the work. Go find people who will also love the work.

Anything else is masochism. And while I know some masochists who are really cute and like a good beating now again – you don't have to. You can choose differently.

I guess you're right, But I say we change the way they think. Meanwhile, keep doing the work. love the work, and be open to other people's opinions. that's how we improve. a feedback is always a good thing, even from assholes.

Well – I suppose I could shoot them right in the forehead. That would serve to change the way they think real quick.

Short of such radical intervention, there is no way to change how they think. In fact, it's arrogant to think that we could or should change how they think. That's not our place. That's not our job. The moment that we arrogate the belief that we have the right to change or they think we allow them the same right to behave in the same way to us.

I'm really not down for that.

So – we're back to "fuck those guys and their opinions."

Feedback is not always a good thing. In fact, quite a lot of feedback is wasted time and wasted effort to read. It's kind of amazing how that happens.

No, if you find yourself falling into a nest of toxic serpents, don't try to sweet talk them out of their delicious venom – crawl out of the hole and go down the street to the nearest bar where at least you can have a pleasant drink and the chance of going home with a hooker.

Unless you're into snakes. In which case – go to a snake bar.