Transform your Comment into Cash
Steemit Comment Challenge #19!!!
We are now up to round number 19 and I'm expecting another exciting week!
Please get yourself into the right commenting mood and be ready to deliver some awesome comments in Steemit Comment Challenge #19. Payout for this round will be 15SBD, again split into two prizes, 10 SBD to the winner and 5 SBD to the runner-up.
The partnership with @davemccoy & @mudcat36 from the #newbieresteemday initiative will continue. I'm truly impressed by what they have accomplished so far and how they manage to engage newbies joining this platform. It is an excellent start for new Steemians. This challenge is meant to strengthen interaction skills, to support and motivate better participation, and what better way to interact with others than through excellent comments.
Get ready to deliver some magnificent comments! Polish your keyboard and sharpen your mind, I wanna see those comments rolling in. Please show me what you have got!
It is important to get followers, but you also want the correct type of followers. Followers that are truly interested in your blog and what you write, and not the βI-follow-you-if-you-follow-meβ kind of type. And to attract the right type of followers, you need to write godlike comments.
This challenge is all about writing godlike comments.
- In each challenge a post from a fellow minnow will be featured.
- The challenge is to write an amazing comment related to that post.
- I will resteem the post.
- I will give it a 100% upvote.
This will be part of my campaign to help other Minnows. The #minnowsupportproject helped me and I want to help others.
Join the challenge and practice your skills.
Please join the fun! π π
Challenge Instructions
Write a comment linked to the content in the section below "Post To Review"
Write a comment that will intrigue the reader. The comment should be interesting and create an urge in the reader to click through to your blog.
The entry needs to be written as a comment to this post.
Please resteem to help promote this challenge!
Tell your friends to come and vote for your comment!
Prize
The prize money for Challenge #19 will be 15SBD.
We will have a 1st and 2nd place with the following prizes:
- 1st prize - 10SBD.
- 2nd prize - 5SBD.
Rules and conditions
- The comment should be relevant to the content below in: "Post To Review".
- Please mind the length of your reply. I don't want to have strict limits, but remember that your tasks is to write a comment and not a chapter for a book. ;)
- The entry needs to be written as a comment to this post.
- Entries limited to one per person.
- I will reply to your comment confirming it is a valid entry.
- The challenge ends at the end of the 7th day of this post.
- To vote for an entry, reply to the comment with the words "vote or voted"
- Upvotes are allowed to make the entry more visible, but the upvotes themselves play no role in the challenge.
- The Top5 entries with the most votes(i.e. replies with the words "vote or voted") will be potential winners.
- The judges will pick the winner from the Top5.
- For the 2nd Prize, the judges are free to pick any of the contestants.
- If the judges can not reach a consensus, they will each pick one candidate and flip a coin. @dorabot will be used for this in MSP's Discord server.
- If the winner is not a Minnow, the prize will be split in 2 and the other half paid out to the best Minnow. After all, this is a competition to encourages Minnows, so hopefully that will be fair.
- The definition for a Minnow from #minnowsupportproject will be used. A Minnow is someone with less than 5K SP. (I have removed the followers requirement as I don't see that as relevant.)
Post To Review
Here follows the post for you to review:
Challenge #19 Post - "How to Express Love with Requests, Not Demands", by @tifaong.
@tifaong's mission is to spread simple and positive advice for a happier life. This post is part of her Relationship Tips series and she is up to post #6 now. This one is titled "How to Express Love with Requests, Not Demands". Tifa gives practical advice by showing how to apply this in real-life situations.
What is your own experience? Do you have any further advice? How do you or your partner act in a situation like that?
Please give it your best comment!!
Remember that a valid entry is a comment written below, but please feel free to add the same comment to @tifaong's post.
Guest Judge
I will be doing all the judging by myself this week
Would you like to take part and act as a judge?
If you are interested, please indicate it in the comments or send me a message on Discord (@danielsaori).
Please donate, please help a minnow
If you like this idea and would like it to grow. Please feel free to donate and I will add it to the Prize Pool. Mention #steemitcommentchallenge in your memo.
History of donations:
@zeartul 10SBD
@destinysaid 5SBD
@dray91eu 8SBD
@tech-trends 10STEEM
@fishmon 10SBD
@destinysaid 5SBD
@fishmon 5SBD
@nanosesame 10SBD
@amariespeaks 5SBD
Previous Comment Challenge Winner
Here follows the list of all the previous winners.
List is from oldest to newest:
@guyverckw
@stephcurry
@timeshiftarts
@dray91eu
@digitalking
@fatpandadesign
@fishmon
@kslo
@learnandteach01
@cryptobychirag
@japh
@brandyb
@stellastella
@amos-robinson
@lucyc
@bridgetnnenna
@adesojisouljay
...will YOU be next on the list??
From last week I have applied a fixed schedule. A new challenge will be released every Sunday evening (UTC time). And the winners will be announced on the Monday, a week later.
Thank you for reading!
Proud member of #minnowsupportproject & #teamaustralia -Thank you @aggroed, @ausbitbank, @teamsteem, @theprophet0, @someguy123, @neoxian, @followbtcnews, @netuoso and @sirknight
Click HERE to learn more about Minnow Support Project.
Click HERE to connect to our Discord chat server.
Depending on mind-perusing to get your necessities satisfied makes sentiments of perpetual outrage and scorn towards your accomplice, conditions which will constantly prompt the downfall of your relationship. To keep your relationship solid and upbeat, it's dependent upon you to make your necessities obviously known.
You have a privilege to request the things you require in a relationship. Actually, you have a duty to yourself and your accomplice to be clear about your needs. You are simply the master. Nobody else, not even your accomplice, can read your psyche and realize what you require in the method for help, hint contact, time alone, household arrange, autonomy, sex, love, money related security, e.t.c
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Entry confirmed! Thank you Ajibade.
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@tifaong sure is quite a writer. She's said it all in her post. If I may contribute in my own humble way...
That common statement above has seen an end to sweet relationships. Humans are tricky in nature and go to the extreme of abusing every opportunity that comes there way. Just because someone agrees with everything you say, support you and trust your words doesn't mean you shouldn't consider her thoughts before making decisions. How about I share my own experience towards this...
Everyone around me knew Temmytweety as my better half. I came to know her through my bestie, Mike, a course mate of mine in Lagos Polytechnic who happened to be her friend back in high school. She was totally sweet and held me in high regards. She would call me at nights and we would talk for more than an hour. It was unbelievable. She was totally into me. She told me how her ex left her and impregnated her friend (just imagine that) all because she didn't give him total attention. So she was making sure not give room for such mistake again. I in the other hand saw this as an opportunity and just behaved like she's my slave. I commanded her around and acted like a master. It got to a point where she's always afraid to tell me whatever she's passing through and I actually didn't give a crap. I really hurt her in many ways than I can remember. There came a time my bestie talked some sense into me and made me realise how bad I've been to her by seizing her freedom and acting like I'm a God just because she cared. It was too late for me as she's been seeing someone else who was rather sweet to her, heard her speak, respected her and didn't act like a master but instead humbled himself towards her.
I lost this babe to him and ever since then I've never met someone that'd treat me how she did: call me at night, care for me wholeheartedly and much more. The other time we met, I cried. i couldn't believe what she's become and it's just so uncontrollable. THAT'S HOW I LOST N ANGEL THAT I WON'T SEE SOMEONE LIKE HER AGAIN.
It's late but I've learnt my lessons. Your better half deserves as much respect as he/she gives you. She needs to feel safe when she's with you and have total freedom. When you need something from her, ask and don't just command her. They say you don't value what you have until you loose it.
I just hope my truelife story has impact on some lives. Life is phenomena.
And good job @teekingtv
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This is touching.
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Your story is full of lessons. I'm sure you've learned yours.
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Nice to see you back Tee King.
Thanks a bunch sir. Glad to be welcomed again.
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I've never been into any relationship before, but I know some things right about relationship. Nigerians would say' "respect is reciprocal." Everyone deserves a measure of respect. In relationship, no one is meant to be this slave neither is anyone the master.
I've seen some families where the two partners quarrel but settles it without any third party intervention. Relationship becomes very interesting when the two parties respect each other's opinion.
The man/husband should not feel more important because he's taking most responsibility in the relationship/family, the lady/wife should not also feel better than her partner. Everything has to be reciprocated.
It is normal for two lovers to offend each other, but it is best for them to settle in love. "Soft word turns away anger, and bitterness." If love is the foundation of any relationship, there would be no reason for either party to be afraid. There is no fear in love, love is not harsh but love is calm. Sounding harsh makes your spouse feel inferior.
There is no superior, neither is there an inferior in relationship. Both lovers are equal. Don't sound rude to your partner. When your partner offends you, Use soft words to make peace. I believe this will help you build a good relationship.
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Thank you for joining.
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we gat your back man!!, voted
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Well i believe most relationships are not often perfect, they are always full of ups and downs..but it is left for the two heads involved to bring out the perfect side in it, and this can be achieved if some things are present in the relationship...they are
In any relationship where true love is foundation of it, the man/woman tends to live happily together and forever...there will be good communication, trust, perseverance, and understanding among the two.. There would not be any cause for fights or argument because they so much trust and understands each other..no reason for insecurity.. When all these things are put in place, then love is expressed with request and not demand...request involves mutual understanding/agreement while demand has to do with force/hatred or i dont care manner.......
Well to crown this up, i think a perfect relationship is what i pray for...
May God bless us all with a perfect partner and a perfect relationship...AMEN
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Entry confirmed! Thank you.
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Amen o
Wish you all the best of lucK
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Every beautiful relationship is built on the foundation of respect. Respect is not just one of the bed rock of a good relationship but a means of sustainability. You don't just echo the word respect, you live daily by it. Show me a wonderful relationship and I'll show you two partners with respect for each other.
Respect in a relationship makes you request and not demand. Demands are clearly a way to exert your authoritative and uncaring attitude; even the wealthiest of humans hate demands. A Request is just simply a coating of humility and respect for one another.
I had an experience with a lady I dated some time ago; she was simply amazing in attitude. Very beautiful, with natural endowments any man can kill for, quite intelligent and good cook.
But Joy had a very bad attitude that diminished my love towards her. I understand that a relationship should be supportive and accommodating, but I couldn't carry along with her constant unending demand.
She would always demand for call credit and money to make her hair and all that, without knowing if you have them at that moment or not. At first, I did not see any need to be worried, but the manner to which she normally would put it started making me sick. She would be like
To me, I feel a lady should politely ask the partner for some money to do all these, without sounding as if they kept money for you somewhere or as if it is there birthright. I was putting up with all these demands, until they became too much. When I stopped giving in to the demands, she started acting strange and indifferent. It now became clear to me that she was in the relationship for her demands and needs, and not for love. Maybe I would have been giving in, had it been she said them in form of a requests and not a demand. I respect ladies who make requests and not demands. I know them with their politeness to such requests and not indifferent nature associated with demands.
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Thank you for the great story that fits exactly with this week's theme. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but I'm sure you will find someone more respectful soon enough.
Thanks for those kind words. I believe I'll find someone else soon. Best regards
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Great post here is @harris2017 im your new follow
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Congratulations Donnest! Winner of challenge #19.
One thing I always put into attention in a relationship is trust. what is this trust really all about, to my own perspective, trust is the greatest bond that links the couples to everlasting relationship.
What is the essence of being in a relationship either the husband or the wife could not defend themselves from shitting, or tell your partner this is your next plans and couldn't believe. It's very transparent that such a relationship is just like a building, built on the river side without a solid foundation it can never last Long.
Then how do you make your partner to trust you? It's a simple way to follow and it's optional, only if you are willing to.
These are the things you must do to make a partner gain a trust from you.
.....show your partner your flaws.
.....you have to dig into your partners emotion and understand him/she better.
..... Tell your partner how you really feel
..... Never judge your partners whenever they made their fault transparent to you.
..... And always have a great moments to be together
So many kinds of this things To make you gain trust from your partners, but I believe trust is the most essential thing couples need to build a strong relationship.
Goodluck
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I agree with you that trust is a very important ingredient. btw, great picture you included. :)
Thanks so much
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I'd like to express my heartfelt appreciation to kind @danielsaori for chosen my post (out of so many high quality posts out there) in his comment challenge. I felt such an honor to be in this situation.
To all participants, thank you very much for taking your time to read. I hope what I've wrote will be able to help you in some ways, at some point in your life.
I wish you all the best in this contest!
Thank you @danielsaori!
I'm very happy that you were chosen too @tifaong... You always do great work and I love everything I've seen from you :) ... Keep it up and here's your newbie nickel too! ;)
Oh my! Thank you very much @davemccoy!! I really appreciate what you've done for me!
Thank you for always helping me!
You are welcome Tifa! I think you are a really amazing person who has a wonderful out look on love and life! Its my honor to help you :)
Most of my insights are inspired by books, so not all ideas come from myself :)
But I'll accept your words as encouragement and motivation.
It is my honor to be part of awesome #newbieresteemday initiative!
well the interesting thing is that you may be inspired by those books, but you have synthesized them into who you are. And that is what is impressive at your very young age! I'm impressed!
ps... tell you boyfriend @williamsyee to make sure he contacts me because he won a membership in @steembasicincome (just for being a #newbieresteemday member) but he has to contact me so he can send in the prize.
@davemccoy, I contacted you in discord few hours ago :)
Thank you very much for your kind words @davemccoy. :)
I think I'm good at sharing theories or ideas, and relating them into our daily lives so that we'll feel more relevant and understand better.
When talking love, I will only be able to smile. I'm not an expert, nor a playboy. but in a way I'm an observer like you too. our lives are supplied with much love, a mother's love, her love of a father to her child. and the most complicated is the love of a couple.
very much I see the case of how the complexity of their love. even more complicated than the love story of the movie "Titanic". you must believe! it could be you are also one who has a complicated story.
getting a woman is easy! but making him comfortable is that difficult, all can not be separated from how much he requests during the love story begins. and for most men, it's all a burden, it's all a demand that makes them think, why is he like that? when the question arises in the minds of men, that's when the complexity begins. so we often see a love story that is only sweet and peaceful during the first month or year. but after that the World War began.
for women, their demand is realistic and reasonable. they just ask for a little attention, little material and anything else. they are not wrong!
Men are simple, usually they will be able to meet material-related requests, but requests related to the time, it is very difficult. let alone the busy man in his world. they are not wrong either.
what is wrong is the ego. if they can control, understand each other, then a great bond will be established, and absolute happiness becomes their right.
So, Control your ego and your partner!
That's my entry for this contest, I never failed to participate due to incorrectly posted comments, but your 100% upvote is very much in my heart . Thank you @danielsaori for presenting this great contest
thank you for @tifaong for choosing this theme, a theme that often becomes an obstacle in the love story
Entry confirmed! Thx!
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It is one of the lines my husband always say. The way we talk is an act of love and respect. Demand is like saying I'm sorry, you leave the other party no option. You are right about that.
How about using "Would you" instead of "Can you"?
My husband and I use "Would you..." when requesting because we understand that we can do something it's the matter of "if you're willing to do it".
The only time I get on demand mode is when he tickles me. STOP IT, I say. And I realize my mistake because now him and the children tickle me haha.
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Great work showing the different nuance between βwould youβ and βcan youβ.
And I love your ending. Being tickled might not be the easiest moment to ask them nicely to stop. π
Thank you. Yes, there's a difference between the two. Bottom line is "you have not because you ask not". But if you ask the right way, it's almost impossible to be refused.
@lovenfreedom...you've got my vote for this one! Nice answer. And yes, you're "mistake"..very cute :)
Thanks @lynncoyle1. It is terrible "mistake" hahaha. Demand and respect doesn't do squat when it's tickle time.
hahaha that's so sweet...and awful :)
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Thank you so much....love getting the nickle :)
Thanks @davemccoy.
Although, I have a question, what's this newbie nickel? Is there a post explaining it?
Hey @lovenfreedom, thanks for asking! Its the $0.05 update on your post. I normally just give them out to the newbies (reputation score under 45) but since @danielsaori selected me with a 100 SP delegation last week I have extended to everyone in his game!
So its just an upvote of $0.05, but to a newbie it means a lot because sometimes they don't even make that on their posts.
And there's not just one post, its been an evolution. When I first got my delegations I was able to provide a meaningful vote to newbies at the time of $0.05... So they seemed to like it and it eventually got named by @doctorcrypto the "newbie nickel"
Oh wow! Now that I understand it, a much heartfelt Thank you again!
It means a lot to a newbie. I can remember when I was upvote happy when I started and I didn't make a post value go up (since it starts out 0.005 and the values are only showing 2 decimal places).
@danielsaori Thank you as well!!
You are welcome @lovenfreedom! And btw, I love your tagline about being trapped in the matrix :)
PLEASE, give me a foot rub. My dogs are barking! :)
hahaha @themanwithname, very funny :) And to think I left a serious comment here...what was I thinking? :)
It hasn't worked out for me yet. I've lost every one of these I've entered. Probably won't this time either by the number of votes I've gotten. That's ok though. I'm glad that people are getting encouraged by the people who write heartfelt stuff. I gotta do the sarcastic stuff sometimes. Otherwise it just builds inside and comes out in an avalanche. Those are dark days! :)
With an epic comment like that, it's hard to understand why you aren't winning :)
I imagine your "avalanche" as a Tourette's outburst at a funeral
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Sounds like something you can say every day. π
If it worked, I might! :D
Maybe you need to change it to "Would you please, give me a foot rub." following @lovenfreedom advice above. :)
Or take it even further... "Would you please, give me a foot rub! You give the best foot rubs!"
That's a good idea. You normally get further with honey than vinegar.
Congrats TheMan! 2nd Prize is yours. Thanks for the laugh. :)
You're welcome!
Its funny you pick this one, I had just got done reading it a few minutes ago! Its a wonderful post that I think many people can use. Sometimes its hard for people to convey their feelings through words. They dont realize how much of a difference it can make in someones day. A simple "thank you" can suffice but a "thank you so much, you are amazing at what you do and I appreciate what you do for me" can really do so much more! Ive always been a believer that you get what you give in life. If you show that love and appreciation in a manner that makes the heart swell, you will in return receive just as much!
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Thank you so much, you are amazing at making your comment stand out. :) Best of luck and I see you around.
Thank you so much! And thank you for making such awesome games and contests! :)
This is a good opportunity to talk about empathy... following the definition of demand and solicitude for love of our @tifaong I can feel the lack of empathy that we humans have when we love, we fill ourselves with individualism without thinking about all that a simple word (you can) get.
Based on my experience, I feel that I have not had a true love that impels me to ask for love and I feel that @tifaong has been very objective and precise, we lead a life full of demands, we have forgotten the way our partner, our brother, our mother, we believe ourselves superior and without the least intention to think about the feelings of others.
Take a little time and think... what you want from other people (not just couples, it's about everything that deserves and needs your affection) if you want love, DA LOVE, if you want respect, give respect... it's a wonderful cycle full of empathy, to receive start by giving and not by demanding.
My mother tongue is Spanish, she helps me with the translation www.deepl.com
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Well done Melvadg. Love is a universal language, so although we have language barriers, love will always be understood. :)
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I love attention, and before you say all ladies do, believe me when I say mine is not just because I'm a lady.
So there's a guy I like. We are friends, but I really like him, and he responds to messages late. For someone who likes attention, that's quite painful.
So recently, I sent him a message which required a response, but he didn't respond and after two weeks of waiting, I decided to send another message.
My normal self would have told him how rude he was, ignoring me, but I chose a different approach.
I simply wrote down, as a message, what his response should have been, and the subsequent discussion which would have ensued.
He replied to that and gave me the reply I needed.
If I had gone all angry, he would have been angry, and I would have felt a bit more insecure than I already am.
So with the subtle request, he got the drift and I got what I needed.
Demand denotes force, love is a force on its own, and doesn't require another.
Just subtle reminder of what should be done as a partner is enough, but demanding for it spoils the power of love.
It becomes a chore.
And if the request is not acknowledged, maybe you should be without the person.
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Thatβs a good lesson that patience pays off. Easy path would have been for you to be angry, but you chose the intelligent and patient way. Nice to hear!
Happy to have you here! SteemOn!
totally nailed it @djoi :D.
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Patience is a strong virtue.
One of the spices of a long standing relationship is/are words of humbleness which when significantly used strengthens any relationship.
Am not in a relationship but allow me share this briefly (smiles) :
An older cousin of mine who is married once attested to the fact he is always willingly to act on request rather straight/blunt demand by his spouse. For instance, his spouse could say, 'Get me a bag of popcorn on your way back home', that's supposed to be a demand right? He eventually forgets to get the popcorn. In contrast, when she says, Could you please, get me a bag of popcorn on your way back home?, that's supposed to be a humble request right? Naturally for him that creates a lovely impression on him, such that he would never forget to buy her even more than what she requested for. His nature automatically defines demand & request.... haha haha haha.
Every act of humbleness in a relationship counts, even to the slightest, so to say!
What a well thought out piece by @tifaong!
And a big love to @danielsaori for searching out this expensive and lovely piece, and the passion you have to polish & support minnows.
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Thank you for the nice story linked to this week's topic.
It's a pleasure @danielsaoriβΊοΈ
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LOVE IS CINTA
Confirmed! Although powerful, maybe a bit short without context.
I would say. Og you Really want to be treated a certain way, you should act the same way.
Love and relationship is very fragile and as they say it is a thin line between love and hate.
When i want my gf to to or change behaviour in a certain way er talk about it. I ask her what she feels when i do the same thing and if it's something i do i could try to change for her benefits. In that way i opening up a forum for us to discuss request, change and other topics.
I am always very humble with theese things because i know i can not request ΓΈr Seland anything from anyone. The only thing i know i can change is my view and toughts about thing and things happenings.
So my answer is. Be humble. Be reflected. And offer something before you ask the other partner om the relationship so it's a better and more open enviroment for change and requests.
Good luck to everyone.
Confirmed and thank you for your comment.
I've had several encounters in relating with people and I realized everyone by default craves a form of respect in fact relationships are built on respect. Growing up I noticed I easily went on errands for a particular cousin of mine despite being older, she made sure to seek my permission before asking me to get stuffs for her and she also got me gifts regularly she never saw sending me on errands as her rights it made me feel respected and I was happy going on errands for her. Lovely write up @tifaong
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@danielsaori these series just made my day...these are ways to build relationships into long lasting ones...thanks again for this pick
I agree with you very much @rolexxy.. we make great connections in this game!
Confirmed! Thanks a lot for dropping a comment.
Hi I'm Katy. "How to Express Love with Requests, Not Demands"
My Opinion: Expressing love is something very difficult for many to do due to the insecurities we have inside of us. We tend to criticize, judge and despise ourselves in such a way that we end up demanding what we know as "our own needs" without taking into account the needs of our loved ones.
A way of expressing love properly can be by practicing EMPATHY by listening to what others want to express. There is nothing more beautiful than learning to empathically feel what a loved one wants to imply, whether it is anger, love, desire, feelings of friendship and affection, even hatred. I say beautiful because being empathic we can find the most sincere words that our heart wants to express without demanding the other person to understand us or listen to us.
So listen first, think and then express yourself appropriately and you will see that you will no longer demand love, but that you will make yourself heard and feel the way you want taking into account the other person's feeling.
Very good answer @ambarabby! You did a good job and get a newbie nickel!!!
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Sorry, but I seemed to have missed your comment.
I absolutely love that picture in this context. It shows how important it is to be able to listen and to understand the persons around us.
Hi @danielsaori yes thats exactly what i wanted to express
This dance is my last dance this simester because of exam and it is all i have to show enjoy
Share Gif:
That is a cool dance you have going there. :)
That was a very nice post@tifaong, yes its very true about how our words can come out as a request or a demand. Demand is when you make a statement and want that thing done without wanting to know the other person's opinion or without pleading with thevperson to get it done. Request is simply asking with a plea,giving the other party options to either agree or disagree. But I put it to you that there are ways to say the exact same phrase of words that will come out either as a demand or request. It all depends on intonation,just as saying words in a way that may sound rude or polite.
Though its really nice to think words over before saying them,especially when the other party is angry and you are trying to calm the person; but sometimes its not everytime we think things out,sometimes,we say things the way they are,not for the main aim of annoying the other party,but to let them know how you realy feel about a situation.
Nice post dear,really learnt some things
Upvote
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Nice to see you back Anna.
M happy to be hereπ
I agree @danielsaori! And I have talking with @annamighty about using her natural charm to be "greeter" that helps to meet the newbies and get them to our games. I see at least one new face here that I know she brought and I think she will be very good at welcoming the young ones when the they arrive!
@danielsaori first i would like to appreciate you for the work you are doing. God bless.
Relationship is the joining of two imperfects hearts who to become one perfect heart.
It means two imperfect people who have decided to accepts each other's weakness and build it to be strength. Therefore requests in relationship is normal, and as long as it's done in love and respect to the other partner, the respond will be positive if truly there is love or there should be a reaction in love too to the request if there's any reason why the request will not be granted. Both of them understanding each other won't have issues in times like that.
So my advice is when a spouse wants to make a request to the other, it should be in love and respect e.g honey, please i need you to help me out with something.. That shows respect .
Love is kind and is worth the sacrifices made in the relationship. Man love your woman, woman respect your man... And you'll thank me later.. Thanks for reading
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That is a nice way to put it. Thank you for joining!
My entry is long @danielsaori, dunno if you'll class it as a chapter and it's even longer on @tifaong's post :D ... not meant to be anything like that, though I did get a bit carried away. Here it is:
I experienced the two most intense relationships of my life in succession, both over within 24 months of my marriage breaking up. I spent a long and painful time processing and untangling my feelings about these three relationships. I came to realise that the dynamics of communication were key to an understanding of how they broke down/dissolved/wasn't right in the first place. I had to do some difficult pain/grief-processing before I was able to take responsibility for my own role in the drama and retrospectively observe its incremental steps. I also had to get to know myself and learn about inner communication.
It is pretty safe to say that all communication carries energy - the difference can be felt by testing the provided examples of demand vs request. If the words 'open the door' have (and they don't always) the energy of power and control behind them, then they are experienced very differently from something that is said neutrally or positively (with love). Of course, a passive-aggressively framed request may really be a demand in disguise, carrying the energy of violence, anger and aggression! This can manifest at subtle levels.
Looks like we are in agreement β a demand, or exercise of power/control removes choice; obedience is required, else there is conflict β and conflict, for so many, is to be feared! This is not the energy of love, clearly! Along with choice goes the voluntary side of the relationship β I would like to want to be with my partner and would wish for my partner to want to be/interact with me (besides it feels soooooooo much nicer this way)! Equality, respect and freedom (from fear of being under 'control') are essential - they are not ornamental. Sweet sounding words can carry bitter energy, and appearances are often deceptive - IF games are being played. Thing is, most games seem to be unconsciously played, the players not really aware of what's going on (was for me anyway). So what to do? Are we then enslaved by our unconscious game-playing, and can hope at best for a relatively stress-free compromise in a relationship? Isn't that a rather bland and low-flying aspiration, considering what it is like to experience and feeeeeeeeeel the powerful energy of love? Do we think that we don't deserve, and thus just take what we can get?
Perhaps at the heart of the ability to engage in healthy communication along the lines we are discussing may be a simple measure of one's own self-respect/self-worth. If one cannot provide something for oneself, how is it then possible to give it away to someone else, I wonder!? Can it come from outside the partnership? Can one take respect gained from X and transfer it over to the partner who is disrespectful, thereby gaining their respect, bit like powering up? Is there any way to do it other than to stop playing games altogether? Can you(in general) be(come) aware of the games you (are) play(ing)? Perhaps your attention is only drawn to the games other people play?!
Peace & Respect
π£
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Thank you for being "carried away". :) Although long, I prefer a comment with passion over any other kind. Cheers!
Love is a wonderful feeling everyone can have. Above all things love is the most important. When we love a person you must not demand anything from her. You will have to return the love by requesting.
For example, you are courting a girl, you don't say to her that I MUST be your boyfriend. You never demand. You can ask her in the right manner.
Expressing true love is not a demand.
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Thank you Gunter.
what a great post @tifaong :) noticing the way we talk to our significant other is so important! She made great points that I've noticed I have done and it reminded me to be more mindful when speaking to my husband.
I thought hey, this may even work well with my kids and in all my interactions - actually. Thank you @tifaong for all your wonderful advice. You are such a sweet person!
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Great short comment. To the point and with your own personal reflection.
thank you!!
lol thank you @davemccoy
Great post choice @danielsaori! We haven't officially met yet, but I am member of @newbieresteemday and wanted to say hi :) Somehow I missed this comment challenge all this time...I feel like I've been living under a rock haha
Nice to meet you Lynn. It is never too late to join the game. :)
I'm happy to hear you are a member of @newbieresteemday. Together with @minnowsupport they are probably the two communities worth joining. Take care and see you around!
Yes I agree! I met Dave just before he started the @newbieresteemday initiative and jumped at the opportunity.
And yes, I'm jumping in on this game for sure!
Confirmed Lynn!
The official comment should really be a top-level comment, but hopefully people will see this anyway and vote for it.
I'm sorry, but what are you referring to?
Sorry, maybe I misunderstood. :) Was it meant as an entry in the challenge or not?
Yes it was:), it was this part of your comment I was referring to:
"The official comment should really be a top-level comment, but hopefully people will see this anyway and vote for it."
Was my comment not considered "top-level?"
Yes @danielsaori she meant it as an entry... She just know what you meant by a "top-level" entry! :P
When he said a top level comment, he means that people won't see the entry as a comment to a comment. So all you have to do is copy your answer again and put it in the "reply" box at the top. Then you will be seen by all those that "vote" and it will give you more chances of winning! ;)
I finally figured it out...but I can tell that you knew what I was thinking :) Thanks SuperDave for coming to the rescue :)
I have always yearned for love and respect especially coming from a broken place, "i know what it feels like to loose yourself trying to love someone and now that i have found d courage to stand up for myself I'm not about to let anyone treat me any less that i am i told myself looking in the mirrow". Its been 6months since i met this amazing guy that respect the very essence of my being yet i second guess his every gesture of love, could this be because of the baggages i have been carrying from my past? but David has been the most patient and understanding guy i have known, though i have a temper, get an attitude unnecessarily and have loads of excesses that doesnt augur well with him, he has a way of speaking softly and correct me with love, i realize my mistakes and apologize, he makes me wanna do better, and love harder regardless. If that isnt love and respect i dont know what it is.
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Thank you for your great story. Sounds like you have found an amazing guy.
@danielsaori i just went through your steenit profile and base on what i saw you have not been here for too long, yet you post good and quality contents
which amazes me a lot, and it encourages me as a minnow on steemit.
Just want to let you know you are doing a good work here steemit.
Hello JamesPower, considering Steemit has only been around since March 2016 I have been here for a lifetime. :) But I haven't been extremely active so I've had a slow growth curve.
Important is to stick to what you like, post quality stuff, reach out to other people by posting a lot of quality comments and be consistent. Please consider joining this challenge and make a comment related to the featured post above.
See you around!
Hey James, you wrote an very nice comment and I completely agree. I will give you a newbie nickel just for such a great thing to say. If you enter the contest, I will also give you another newbie nickel too :)
I'll be back with a comment after reading her post! Great choice @danielsaori! In the meantime:
A big thanks to A.Marie :)
you're welcome!
Your partner is not your slave or servant. Demanding your partner to do what you like is not a solution to get him to become what you want him to be. Have not we heard that "LOVE IS GIVING, DO NOT ASK". You have to live with each other if you want your relationship to last.
There is a saying that if good love is a mutual love and support. And you must know the ideal partner, is a couple who both can complement each other's shortcomings instead of each other looking for the gap and lack of partner, when one party requires it can be covered by others.
#Thank you for being allowed to participate
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Thank you for your entry Buil. Best of luck!
@tifaobong is so right.
Healthy relationship is not about shouting at each other or comparing temper with each other.
Forgiveness is necessary, it's so important.
Let's approach anger with peace
Approach temper with subtlety
Let's not light fire on fire.
That's will make our relationship more healthy and flourishing.. Because absolutely no man is perfect, we're all striving for perfection.
We gotta tolerate each other.
good job.i like your comment.you really good
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Well said akayarchie. Thank you for joining!
Voted
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voted :)
'True love is not a feeling euphoric and spontaneous, but is a choice, a plan to love each other for better or for worse'.
As beautifulare the butterflies in the stomach, as well sounds the falling in love, true love really is a choice. If it is not assumed, love would fade at the first breath of wind. The decision is the love which gives long-term stability. If we were to refer to love as a feeling euphoric and spontaneous, would be to condemn premature death.
It does not seem okay to me, to place the love strictly in the "emotion corner. It is an extremely fragile area that turns into a love swing, something that can not be maintained. Love is a shared commitment, a two commitment, a very good plan in place, a choice could not be serious. Or it requires a serious dose of maturity, requires discipline, motivation, desire to succeed, commitment, ownership ... and although it sounds crazy to many planning. Planning is not so bad.
Really I do not understand why so many people are afraid of their feelings planning. That does not mean robots, but emotional discipline. Or, if you want, emotional intelligence - a relatively new term, a study area for not very long, but, as experts believe, it is extremely important in the proper functioning of human interactions. 'Wrong, you can not dictate heart', some would say. Yes, you can! And not only can, but must do it! Why say that? Because if you let led heart of euphoria and spontaneity them, you become a victim of its fragility safe.
The best team is composed love heart and reason. The two form a whole. When these two do not get along, comes slaughter. To love really means decision means accepting each other's faults, means desire to succeed together and, why not, the ability to sympathize. Love does not mean sacrifice and suffering, as many would think, but joy, happiness, well ... two. Suffering may occur in love, in some cases, but it should not be a prerequisite, but a situation which is rather unexpected.
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Thank you for joining and for your great comment.
Basically everyone does not like being criticized. Although it is often said "please criticize me, it's okay, it does not matter to me", as if spoken with sincerity, but actually in his heart did not expect to be criticized. Criticism for a person is a form of exposure of his weakness, whereas man does not like his weakness is shown, let alone in public.
@danielsaori
Hello to all my dear steemians, I am new in the community and first of all I want to thank @danielsaori for the support given to the minnows and @tifaong for their excellent post, since it gives very practical advice to be happier in our couple's life.
In particular, I think that relationships are not easy. In courtships and marriages it is about two people who are different in many ways, but who nevertheless united by the magic of love. That is why it is important not to idealize the couple, it is a human being with virtues, but also with defects. I think that's where it's important to grow with information like @tifaong, which helps us to improve our relationships every day.
In December last year I celebrated 6 years of marriage and I can tell you, from my humble experience, that love is a daily work, it has not been an easy road, but it has been very beautiful. Love is a commitment and it is the possibility that you have to demonstrate every day that person who is by your side is special to you, and for this it is very important to be fully aware not only of our words, but also how we express ourselves, so it is very important to treat our partner with respect and consideration, as we would like to be treated to us, learn to listen to it and not make demands from our supposed superiority, but make requests from love. This really is 100% more effective and gives the best results for both partners, I guarantee you.
https://steemit.com/steemitcomment/@lauraac/steemit-comment-challenge-19
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Thank you for your story and happy 6 years together with your partner.
Thank you very much! And thank you for the opportunity to enter and learn.
In a relationship being use to it thing is very common and is usually use for an excuse (like you partner is being demanding without considering how you feel about it or you to yourself is being so demanding) which is very unhealthy for a relarelationship. Im proud to share that me and my partner is use to do a request way of having or telling something. And I believe this helps us a lot in our relationship and one of the key being strong, beyond years and making it healthier than ever. I have witnessed many relationship in having demanding partner's involved (respects wiped out and both partner's seems to have all the right in the world to throw bad word's and then raising their voice throwing bad word's, like yelling to one another) which is very unhealthy and there's a possibility this relationship would gone astray and broken., your blog (making series of love and relationship content sharing the books author content, your opinion about it plus your strong testimony on it which is your experience) could make you a love expert or a guru. I can tell this is a way in giving advice or suggesting for a healty and strong relationship. Congratulations of this wonderful post and thank you for all this. May this works of yours can reach many people in here and spread it out for it will surely a big help. God bless you and more power to you @tifaong.
@danielsaori thank you for having this will surely help many specially those who have great blogs of good and original content, and minnows thats in need of some support and help them grow and being notice. For their good and for the community as well. God bless you..
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Thank you, Roselyn.
Hi there @tifaong! As a member of @newbieresteemday, I'd like to introduce myself and congratulate you on your entry being chosen by @danielsaori for his commenting challenge! Great work :)
This is a very interesting post/series you've been doing; I went back and had a look at them. I've always been intrigued by the fact that in life, we need to take classes or pass tests for everything...driver's license, school etc.), except NOT for one of the most important things in life : relationships. I know some churches for example host marriage courses, but let's face it, looking at the divorce rate in Canada (where I'm from), we are obviously not doing something right!
I believe that in the end, we simply need to treat people the same way we want to be treated; treat them like we did upon first meeting. Being comfortable in a relationship is no excuse for being rude.
I don't want to have demands placed on me, so I don't place them on my husband. I want to have a choice in life, so he deserves the same choices. I guess it comes down to respect...do I respect my partner enough to give him the same treatment that I expect from him? If the answer for someone is 'no', then it's time to reevaluate your behaviour.
Confirmed! ...again :) This time as a top-level comment. ;)
Awesome, thank you!
...geez I must have been tired or something the other day ;)
Basically everyone does not like being criticized. Although it is often said "please criticize me, it's okay, it does not matter to me", as if spoken with sincerity, but actually in his heart did not expect to be criticized. Criticism for a person is a form of exposure of his weakness, whereas man does not like his weakness is shown, let alone in public. @danielsaori
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I personally feel that , people are too demanding , they usually want what they want and it's pretty hard , when your significant other is very harsh on you . So these are what I think for us to not be very demanding.
Either , you can always try to use the magic words on them "please " , "Thank you" , "Could You please" , "Pardon me" ...like that . Or buy them gifts and then ask kindly for what you wish for , like , if you wanted your Husband to agree to come someplace with you , then you can cook him a good tasty meal , or you can buy him that IPAD (if you are that rich π) , or just speak to him poliety and ask. , and if he is angry towards you , then too don't lose your calm. Be more polite and use emotions sometimes.
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Buying an iPad tactics sounds like it could turn into an economic disaster. :)
Thanks for your comment!
This is so great! It really boils down to communication. If there is ever a breakdown, better communication can help. One of my book is, 'You Did Marry Prince Charming, You Just Haven't Trained Him Yet'. But the truth of it is in order to 'train' anyone, it's about changing the way you personally communicate. So, the title isn't as insidious as it sounds! Great article!
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Wow, a comment referencing your own book. That's pretty cool!
There always have to be a catchy title ;)
Communication is such an important factor so I wasn't surprised by it. Everyone can benefit from better communication skills, especially the listening and understanding part.
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I have just resteemed to get the word out of this game! And I will be entering soon too! :) ... Thanks again for everything you do @danielsaori! You are really doing an amazing job of not only supporting this game but also helping to build our communities of newbies and minnows!
ps... and now I'm off to thank you for the 100 SP delegation! You are too kind for words! :)
Cool! Use the SP as a wise old man and curate some nice posts. :) It wasn't a lot but I hope good enough for a 3rd prize. I might consider using SP delegation as a prize in the future. It would encourage people to curate instead of just spending the SBD.
haha... at least you are callling me "wise" (the old man part is true but I don't like to think about that!) ... ;)
It is very good and very helpful to me and I think a great prize! I do agree with you that SP is a terrific prize for newer players because many have never had more than $0.01 upvote... It will give them a taste of what its like and hopefully motivate them!
In my case, my first delegation made me think how I voted a lot. I have been very careful ever since to use my voting power wisely and in support of what I think is valuable!
I think the players would love receiving SP more than sbd. It lasts far longer and gives them something that they've never felt on their own!
Good idea @danielsaori... :)
And thank you...
ps... now I'm ready to go learn that logo issue and put my newbie nickel sponsored by #steemitcommentchallenge to work. ;)
Think I will add the SP delegation reward in the upcoming edition.
btw, I told you to use the SP "as a wise old man". So you just have to act like that wise old man, not turn into one yourself. ;)
Dusk always gives the charm of beauty at every sight. The beautiful twilight sometimes makes us feel enchanted and dear to pass up just by looking around. Some evenings sometimes force us to do rhyme-themed writing.
This is really great
Voted
Prize
The prize money for Challenge #19 will be 15SBD.
We will have a 1st and 2nd place with the following prizes:
1st prize - 10SBD.
2nd prize - 5SBD.
its really good.i like your post.thamks for shearing.
This post has received gratitude of 9.35% from @appreciator courtesy of @danielsaori!
Voted @donnest
I agree with you
Sevdim bunu.