Except for those that are sterile or sexually celibate, sex is an important act in the life of most higher animals, including humans. Its importance simply cannot be overemphasized even for those that claim not to like it. Behind almost every soft-spoken, eternally rude, physically holy, immaculately decent, individually brilliant and officially disciplined individuals that we see all around lies a sexual animal. Wars have been started, lives have been lost, towns have been destroyed and economies have been paralysed as result of sex-related issues either in this contemporary world or in the history of man. Today just happened not to be a day to dig out some of those stories.
Today, I have decided to take a deep look at what we all know as the age of consent, both from scientific and layman's point of view. By definition, the age of consent is generally referred to as the age at which a human (not animal) is deemed old enough to decide whether he/she wants to have sex or not. Individuals below this age are popularly referred to as minors and any sexual activity with them is considered a statutory rape by law. All over the world, the consent age varies with as low as 11 years in Nigeria and as high as 21 years in Bahrain and South Korea. Within the United State, consent age varies from states to states ranging from 16 years to 18 years.
A few years ago, a story emerged about the marriage of a famous Nigerian lawmaker to a 15-year-old girl. The event threw Nigerian youths and their likes into a frenzy and the social media almost exploded with rantings of anger and counter-anger from both the antagonists and the protagonists of the action of the lawmaker. Well, I happened to be one of the social media neutrals then due to the fact that the majority of those arguing were just doing so only from the moral point of view which I largely considered hypocritical.
First, as a layman, I simply do not believe that it makes any sense to designate age of consent and age of marriage differently. The Nigerian constitution pegged the age of consent at 11 while the age of marriage is 18 unlike in some other countries in which both are the same. If someone is old enough to have sex, he/she should be old enough for marriage, all other things being equal. In addition, my experience and observation have shown that the consent and the marriage age as stipulated by law is just a mere paperwork. Sex in our society is as dictated by hormones and has almost nothing to do with the law. Underaged, high school children have been caught in a hot sex session with each other, less than 18-year-old girls have been recorded to have either committed several abortions or successfully given birth and a lot of parents allow their children to have boyfriend/girlfriend at a tender age. I wonder what the fuss was all about on a 15-year-old getting married if not for hypocrisy.
Gone are those days when the transition from juvenile to puberty takes as long as between 10 to 14 years in the female and 12 to 16 years in the male. Nowadays, it takes as short as 7 to 8 years in the females and 9 to 10 years in males. This early onset of body development has been linked to a medical condition known as precocious puberty. Precocious puberty in females is quite common and has not been found to have any underlying pathological condition in most cases (about 90%), unlike in males where it is quite rare and often found to be associated with brain tumours, trauma etc.
At age 15, some females have fully attained the status of an adult with full bone mass and female fertility. As a lecturer in a Nigerian University, a random informal interview of some female students between the age of 14 to 18 revealed that on the average, about 90% of them started having consensual sex as early as 11 years old. Some of them have had more sex before clocking age 17 than their parents would ever have in their entire lifetime.
The genuine opponents (not the social media hypocrites) of early marriage have always thread the line of their arguments around mental development or medical implications and not the physical nor biological development of the subjects. Hence, in their argument, a supposed girl/boy can be as fully developed as a man/woman can be, as sexually active as a porn star but not psychologically developed enough to be in a marriage simply because marriage is much more than just sex. They sometimes go further to highlight the medical and psychological conditions that can result from early sexual activities such as sexually transmitted diseases, complications from abortion, depression, over-bloated egos etc. Little wonder that a 16-year-old girl could confidently walk into a lecturer's office and offer her biological cookies in exchange for grades. Lecturers have seen a lot tbh....
If such medical and psychological conditions are to be the case with early marriage/sex, in reality, we should be fighting for the age of consent to be raised rather than fight a lawmaker that married a 15-year-old that could have been having sex since the age of 11. However, such is not the case in our society. People and society, in general, will hardly frown at a 12 years old having sex but would bring out a moral barometer to assess any man that comes out and proposes to marry such girl. A lot of underaged girls suffering from precocious puberty are having sex with adults day-in and day-out with neighbours playing the unlooking games and very few cases making the headlines only when a famous person is involved.
In conclusion, I personally believe the variation in the morphological, physiological and psychological development of individual human does not agree with pegging a particular age for consensual sex and marriage all in the name of promulgating a law. What works for individual A might totally not work for individual B because they differ structurally as well as genetically. The age of consent is supposed to equate to the age of marriage and both should be treated on a case by case basis and not just by some theoretical laws.
Thank you for reading.
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My favourite niece is 14 years old still in secondary school, her dad recently got her phone as a birthday gift, and ever since we've been chatting on a daily basis. Now, she recently told me of her ex-boyfriend (I almost had a heart attack) who she had to call things off with because she is preparing for her Waec exams.
I honestly got a taste of what it means to be a parent, because this is someone I fed as an infant, and here she is almost a lady. Now how will I react if I find out that she is sexually active - a definite heart attack.?
And I think that is why your post is quite important to me because it delves into the reality of sexual activities in minors. Hate it or love it, whether the law backs it or not, it's going to happen if it is not happening already, and learning about information like this post acts as shock absorbers when we eventually stumble on the portholes of reality!
This is the sad truth about Nigeria. Things are getting worse and the stature of those girls nowadays are not helping. The parents are knlg doing their best. In the end, it all depends on the mentality, training, and upbringing of the child
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Many thanks!
I heard about this age of consent thing sometime ago but I thought it wasn't a thing so I didn't even do any further research until the said "lawmaker" saga.
Going over your posts again just aroused my thoughts on what can actually be done; there's just too many health-related complications linked with "underage" folks indulging in early sex. But it is quite unfortunate, like @agbona rightly pointed outI totally enjoyed reading this particular, nicely put together...
Wow. I did not know my country actually placed the age of consent at 11. Like seriously, so the person has the grace of having immoral sex for like seven years before he/she is lawfully ready to marry. This is quite barbaric.
I also think the age 11 is quite small for age of consent. I mean, Nigeria is a beautiful country that lives on morals and belives. Its good to have learned something today. Thanks NICE POST
In this era; maybe because of some social factors; younger folks have been seen to mature way faster than it had been. And not only that; they are also exposed quite early to sex-related matters.
So when the issue of consent comes into play, you would even discover that there is already a disagreement between the body morphology and the legal rights to get married.
Come to think of this; how do you explain a girl at the age of 9 having sexual urge? And if she has sex with an older guy; it would be termed statutory rape. Well, that's the flaw in the system.
Imagine a girl of 10 years having a boyfriend when she has not even passed her FSLC. And some laws are pegging age of consents at 18, lol. By 18, she must have even gotten tired of the whole stuff. How human.
Nicely written buddy
As hilarious as this might sound, it's actually true in some cases. I have seen some promiscuous young boys/girls saying they are not interested in marriage. What do you think is their reason? they cannot stick to a partner in the name of marriage. Are they going to be celibate? No!
Dear friend, you do not appear to be following @wafrica. Follow @wafrica to get a valuable upvote on your quality post!
Even though younger generations are more sexually active compared to how things were in the past, there should be no problem if 2 teens decide to engage in sexual intercourse.
The problem comes when an adult, with a lot more experience and knowledge in life decides to have a relationship with such a young person. This could be risky because the adult can be capable of manipulating the young person into doing certain things that are not good for him/her.
Science actually says otherwise that a lot of problems are associated with teenage's sex, be it with fellow teenagers or adults.
Now that we live in the time era of incels and perma-virgins, sometimes these teenage girls come out ahead in a relationship with an older boyfriend than with some punk their own age who only wants to get inside her pants. I don't know what the situation is in Nigeria, but the United States of America has a severe epidemic of deadbeat teenage fathers.
Hello @gentleshaid
I must first of all commend you for a well written article. I have told you before and I am gonna say it again; the richness of your posts, the demonstration of knowledge and presentation style make reading your works very addicting!!
In respect of the theme of this post, I agree with you that age of consent and age of marriage should be same. Honestly, I really don't see any logic in separating these two; it makes no meaning cuz such kids may have been having sex before the age of marriage. So what's the basis to offer contrary opinion? Absolutely no basis.
Regards
@eurogee of @euronation and @steemstem communities
Thank you for the kind comment and for always checking out my articles. I will try my best not to fall short of your expectations.
If the age of consent is ridiculously too high in a given nature, it can only be expected that the marriageable age is going to be lower than it.
This world has left the age of
age of consent and age of marriageThe only person you can say is not doing that tin is d child in the stomach.... Sorry to say but this generation is far better at that tin than....
Nicely written man..... I don't think there should be any separation
hehe...thanks man.
Yes, the age of consent and that of marriage should be the same. And I will say also that the age of consent need to be raised. One more thing is that we cannot deny that marriage is far more than sex. Your ability to have sex is not what counts in marriage. All you have to do to verify that is to consider the ever increasing rate of divorce especially in the developed nations of the world.
Let's not forget that sex among underage children has many psychological and health implications. Sex between an adult and a child is even worst.
What shall I say about teen pregnancy challenges? Marriage should be between two consenting, biological and psychologically matured heterosexual people.
I agree with you except the part where you said the age of consent/marriage needs to be raised. I feel it should be treated on a case by case basis. While some people are fully ripe for marriage (in all ramifications) before 18, some are still psychologically inept at 25/30. Making a law stipulating specific age for marriage would simply leave a lot to be desired.
Okay, gentleshaid. I liked your comment here. Therefore, perhaps I may have misinterpreted the contents of your article.
You are welcome. I am still taking my time to regurgitate on the other comments you have recently made.
Hi @gentleshaid!
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I was one of those who spoke against the senator's act, considering our culture and tradition, especially in this modern dispensation.
However, you have cleared the air with this post.
I may not agree with you on this, but that's actually the fact.
lol. Thanks for the contribution all the same. We can always choose to agree to whatever pleases us
exactly my thought on the age of consent and marriage issue, glad to know i'm not alone.
This article reminds me of the youngest mother to have ever lived -Lina Marcela born on 23 September 1933. This Peruvian woman became the youngest mother in medical history, giving birth at the age of five years, seven months, and 21 days.
This young girl also suffered similar medical condition you stated here -precocious puberty.
I totally agree with you on this.
As humans we have different genetic make ups and as such laws promulgated should not in any way be the yard stick for all when it comes to marriage or consent.
This says it all!
Thank you sir. Your comments always hit the right spots.
That is very true. If these young ones are already having sex every now and then, why don't they just get married already. It's truely a pity that we live in a hypocritic world. And all the society wants to do is hang the few bold enough men who come out to say 'I want to marry this young girl, she's sexually mature enough'. Whereas, there are so many adults abusing these same girls in closed doors.
I must confess, this is a FANTASTIC article. Splendid write up. Thanks a bunch for sharing!
I am glad we all agree that our society is filled with hypocritical lots. Thanks for such a thoughtful comment
In recent years, younger ones are now growing faster than it was some few years ago. The rate at which they are exposed to sex-related things has also increased correspondingly.
So, it is expected and would be hard to stop them from making moves towards it for the peer pressure, social media frenzies and the dress sense people are now adopting in recent years.
So, it is better for us to focus on starting sex education early enough rather than trying to hide these "already open" facts to them.
African parents are known to be somewhat shy in telling their wards about what sex is and how they should monitor themselves as regarding it. In my point of view, I see this contributing more to the pressure as these kids see what their friends are doing or even what older people do on the web or around their hood and would be pushed to try it out too. So, if they are being lectured on the modalities and talk about it regularly, getting feedback on what the child has been experiencing in terms of the relationship with their opposite sex, it will reduce the "immoral" sexual activities.
Now, people are quickly forgetting that these kids aren't sexually qualified based on age anymore (if at all it was ever like that). A 13 - 15 year-old girl in today's world can do what a 25-year-old can do sexually (if not more). So, we should either fight for a raise in the age of marriage to a "socially moral" one say, 20 and above rather than ranting about older people proposing to younger ones.
I, however, wouldn't support a case of abuse of the minor by an older person likewise a manipulation on them taking advantage of their naivety.
So, let parents open up and let their girls know what sex is, what it could lead to if they don't monitor how they relate with the opposite sex. We should also ask for a higher age of marriage by law, then, we could have a better society.
Nice work sir.
In as much as I agree with you on this, its quite sad it might not come to realization soon enough.
Yes, that's rightly said..We continue to hope
I don't know how things are in Nigeria. However, I think that when you get to more sheltered nations like the United States of America, the biggest problem is that "statutory rape" is treated as a strict-liability offense rather than an "intent" crime. Therefore, the laws regarding it are draconian here where I am, and it becomes necessary for there to be some kind of sanctuary in the system for people who are not threats to society in spite of any confrontation that they may have with these same laws. When two people are on opposite sides of the legal age line and they are very much in love with each other, it may become necessary for them to get married to keep the authorities from meddling needlessly into their lives. There are extremists here in my nation (the United States of America) who wish to mirror the marriage age floor in every state jurisdiction of my nation with the statutory age of consent, but such efforts would prove to be more detrimental than beneficial to Americans in the long run inasmuch as it will overrun both my nation's sex-offender registries and penal facilities with people who don't deserve to be on them or in them in the first place. Sorry, gentleshaid, but I have to disagree with your school of thought.