That's no way to live!

in #thoughts3 years ago

I had an interesting conversation with someone today about building life purpose, from the context of the Financial Independence, Retire Early (F.I.R.E) movement. Honestly, I don't know much about the concept other than the very basics and the at least perception that the people who practice it, tend to go to some extreme lengths to meet their goals.

My friend said about what these people are willing to go without and how much focus they put on saving money, "that is no way to live!"

OI001045.jpg

While I kind of agree as I think all things can be taken too far, I tend to always take the devil's advocate position and argued that although we might not think it is a good life - they likely have a lot of satisfaction based on their practice.

In many ways, the absence of religion in many people's lives has left a void of purpose, as we are no longer explicitly directed to behave a certain way in order to get into some kind of heaven, so we create our own rules. This is easier said than done of course, as the sheer range of options, not to mention the complexity of conflicts, means that we can become frozen by choice, making committing to a path difficult. In the past and for many still, they don't need to think about any of this, as a book gives them all the purpose they need.

It is no wonder really that finance has become a focus of so much purpose in life as the economy touches everything that we find important in our lives, whether it be the choice of work we do or don't do, the educations we have available, or the safety of the suburb we raise our children in - money matters. As such, money matters are an easy point to concentrate on as no matter what we want to accomplish in life, economic availability helps us get there in some way.

What I was saying to my friend is that the process of saving and investing hits so many of our human triggers and touches upon so many of our needs, that we are able to justify our sacrifice today for a larger purpose - even if that purpose is our own well being or our desire to not work. It is systematic and requires consideration as to how we behave, what we consume, where we spend our time and of course - the value of all things.

We have to continually ask ourselves "Is it worth it?"

This is something that many people don't actually think that much about, as if they did, we would probably see a change in consumer behavior, as well as a change in social behavior, since so much of what we buy and do is disposable. We spend our money on useless crap, we spend our time on useless crap.

There are already many movements similar to F.I.R.E out there, for example where people simplify their lives, declutter their homes and reevaluate what is important to hold and let go of - including relationships. The people who are looking at getting out of "the rat race" are going through various forms of evaluation of their behavior and streamlining their lives, simplifying their minds - getting back to basics.

It is also like the people who are trying to be their physical best, those who watch what they eat, how they exercise, the way they stand, sit and move, all in order to be their physical best. Or, those who work on their mental prowess, or spend their time cataloguing stamps, or memorizing baseball stats. Saving and investing is a collection activity and feeds to our need to organize our world, bring structure and living a minimalistic is about collecting in the negative, by finding more ways to reduce the footprint.

There is a satisfaction found in achieving goals and no matter what we are doing, there are milestones everywhere, everything in life is gamified. Finance just tracks all of the behaviors through numbers, while other activities might track it through other factors. Religion for example has a tracking system too and it works on various levels, including the emotional sense of adherence to the rules and the social sense of being seen to adhere or the guilt felt when caught breaking the rules - or the punishment, depending on the practice followed. It is a scoring system, no different to what Wall Street uses in concept - all to feel that the life being lived has meaning.

Meaning is something that we are nearly all searching for in some way or another and we take many paths to get that feeling that what we do matters - even if it doesn't. Some people use the rules of a culture to follow and some make their own rules, but rules are used to define what we do and therefore, who we feel we are.

A lot of the people who are living the frugal life in an attempt to retire early, will likely get a lot of satisfaction from the dollars they save, while someone else who likes to have the latest gadget, gets satisfaction from the money they spend. Is there really a difference in practice?

Not much by my measure, though the implications of what we do and how we live our lives, do not exist in a vacuum, they are connected to the world in which we live, including the other people who live in this world with us, now and in the future.

While my friend who wants to be financially independent and retire early is unwilling to go to the extremes of the people who adhere to a more extreme form of the practice, he still gets satisfaction from accomplishing the steps he does along the path. But like most people, he isn't single-minded in his activity and gets satisfaction from other aspects of life too, like having a few gadgets or considering a new car. But all in all, he is much the same as everyone else looking for purpose, just at different points on the spectrum.

It is funny to think though that while we look at others and say, "that is no way to live!" the reality is that we are just focusing on different parts of life to achieve the same goals - to find a little bit of meaning to our existence, by any means available.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]

Sort:  

I think what is missing a heck of a lot in society and in our morals, wants and dreams is Balance. I see very little balance in society today, it is all about extremes or extremism. Far left, far right, anti this pro that. Do this, do that mentality of people. Almost everything taken to excess, in my own opinion, ends in failure.

I agree. It is all on and off, no nuance. even failure is an end, not part of the process to success.

Sounds like your friend fell into ye olde trap of not realising (at least at that point) that their viewpoint isn't universal? :D

I mean, they know that, but it is is still hard to "imagine" someone enjoying themselves doing it. It is like a foot fetish - I understand people have their preferences - I just don't get why feet! :D

I don't usually have that problem and sometimes I wish I did XD

Getting financial indepence and retiring early, I wrote about this in one of your previous posts. Sometimes I think so as well, save as much as money you need, then leave working and live your life when you r relatively young and healthy.

Otherwise, I don't think that it is sensible to wait 60s to retire and live your life or it is better to expand the things you want to do over your life circle.

the problem many seem to have is that while they like the idea of retiring early, they expect it just to happen - they enter the lottery.

Satisfaction is relative, that's one thing I've come to appreciate. Am surprised you didn't point that out to your friend during your conversation

The conversation was an hour long! I can't include everything :P

Well, I don't have much to say as regards this as purpose should be individualised.

The most important thing to me is doing what makes you happy at the end of the day.

What is life when you are not happy?

The major thing is to live a life of purpose.

The most important thing to me is doing what makes you happy at the end of the day.'

What happens if what akes you happy today, harms you tomorrow?

I know parents who make their kids happy daily by feeding them what they enjoy eating. I think they are setting their children up for a life of mostly misery.

What happens if what makes you happy today, harms you tomorrow?

That's why I said end of the day and End of the day for me means long term

It is funny to think though that while we look at others and say, "that is no way to live!" the reality is that we are just focusing on different parts of life to achieve the same goals - to find a little bit of meaning to our existence, by any means available.

We make it hard because we spend so much time consuming content, that we don't have any time left to live it.

Did you have the chance to watch the full video or you just read its title? LoL };)

It's hard to find meanings in everything we do. I guess we should just finish what we must do and try what we always want. 😊

I think if we look at most of what we do, we would find it hard to find meaning in much of it.

Most people definitely want better for themselves and would desire to be financially free, some of them do not just get the right information/advice

the world is littered with information and advice - that isn't the main issue. The main issue is that the advice that helps them is hard to follow as it takes, investment, time, energy and work - things people don't want to do.

This makes a lot of sense

I am a saver by nature (as you know) but, I also believe in balance. There need to be fun times, also times that you can blow money, and, well, you get the picture.

Too much of one thing and not enough of the other may make it more of a chore. Even if you have a goal.

I think where most people fail between save and fun is, they can't find a balance point between the two. Fun becomes addictive and the more had, the more needed to have more - like any drug.

Fair. I agree, but, if you can teach/learn balance early on, it's a win. Look at what you are doing?

My one of friend was always dreaming on the work place about Financial Independence, Retire Early (F.I.R.E) .One day His boss surprised him by calling at the office .yes the surprise was ,Boss FIRED him because he was not productive to its designation responsibility.
I think Financial Independence, Retire Early (F.I.R.E) only helps when we put our 100% effort to achieve some goal in our life and the goal must be related with your earning and growth.

"I'm free from work! I'm unemployed..."

Like most people who go on diets, they fail because they don't create processes and habits they can maintain long-term. Financial stability is years in the making.

The media has cast a picture of what it is to be living life.. and many youngsters are moved by this motion pictures thinking that's the way to live.
We come from different backgrounds and have different passions and hence unique, but you see the mentality we pick around have a way of making us measure our successes and worth with how much financial assets we've acquired.
Whether taking things easy in terms of hustle or fast tracking things to retire early, at the end of the day, we might just have been gunning towards same goal.
But, the bad part of it is that people are willing to do just anything to live the la vida voca life and sometimes, that could be to the detriment of others, putting to death morals and of course eventually coming up with the belief that there isn't a need to be religiously conscious.

at the end of the day, we might just have been gunning towards same goal.

I think the goal for many at the core is, to feel like their life mattered in some way. None of us choose to be here - yet once in, it makes us feel like we have to earn our place.

that could be to the detriment of others, putting to death morals and of course eventually coming up with the belief that there isn't a need to be religiously conscious.

Some of the most ardent and out spoken on their piousness, end up being the most vile of creatures on the planet. There is very little actual need for religion in my opinion, but it doesn't mean that what makes religion attractive to many people isn't needed.

This always made me laugh. First is: OMG, i will never be able to do that, to save all these money, do you think you can ever do it? Seems to chase a dream. And I am: Yes, I am already there.
Second, if you are already there, why you dont stop working and just travel around the world or just watch tv all day or something. Nah, I need some structure in my life, the difference is that now I work here because I want to, not because I need to. This change everything. Knowing that you can stop anytime and do something else is what you call freedom. Not doing it just because you can is self-control. But the fact that I can freely spend some money on my wedding, doing it as i want to, without worries, this is what freedom means. Shall I stop now?
!PIZZA


Posted via proofofbrain.io

@tarazkp! I sent you a slice of $PIZZA on behalf of @mightyrocklee.

Have you voted for Pizza teams Hive witness (pizza.witness)? (3/10)

!LUV !BEER !PIZZA
Keep doing what you do, if you are happy!


Posted via proofofbrain.io

@mightyrocklee! I sent you a slice of $PIZZA on behalf of @heruvim1978.

Did you know you can spend $PIZZA on games in the $Pizza Store? (2/10)

<><

<><

LUV

Connect

Trade


@mightyrocklee, you've been given LUV from @heruvim1978.

Check the LUV in your H-E wallet. LUV changes soon. (2/4)

Nah, I need some structure in my life, the difference is that now I work here because I want to, not because I need to. This change everything

It makes all of the difference. I am not "there" where I can choose one hundred percent, but one of my colleagues was surprised to learn that I took a pay-cut for the job (as I had to cut back on my own business a bit) and I don't do it for the money still.

once anything is a "must" it becomes controlling. We can't control all of our needs - we have to eat, sleep, move etc - but how we do these things is within our control.

I do think of if my time and effect are I the right place ether in life or investment I get to know were I stand cause I'm trying my hardest to live a better life. in life their truly no retirement in life cause life is moving and you gotta learn and move with it

Retirement is when life ends - up until that point, there is work to be done :)

I couldn't say it any better. that the life truth

This part where you said something about one person being frugal in spending and the other wanting the latest version of everything ( gadget wise) is a typical example of what is happening between I and a friend and we both can't seem to understand why we both are acting the way we are, I see him as being a careless spender who just wants temporary enjoyment, while he sees me as being a stingy person who just wants to save up only for tomorrow.... ultimately no one can tell another how to live ..I still believe my way is right ..and he believes his way is right...oh well

In ten years from now, which path do you suspect will lead to a happier life?

Some people suffer of a kind of solipsism that wont allow them to understand other points, who is to say what is the right way to live, the definition of living itself would propel debate beyond measure...

I believe so much in saving and investment because the truth is nobody want to work forever, so if you don't save how then will you go on that fancy vacation (after retirement)??

The purpose of life is built by oneself, for that you must be an integrated person, satisfied in all aspects of your life and define what you want to achieve. So the purpose in life is a personal reference that when fulfilled allows us to reach a maximum level of well-being. I always put into practice a pattern such as remembering a circumstance in which I felt that level of wellbeing, once remembered I explore a second and a third context, there I achieve a pattern of what I want to be, do, feel, create, learn. Personally I think that the purpose of life is an instrument that leads us to a better life.

@tarazkp what is the meaning of this?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
I fund it in your every blog

I used to have

[ steemit original ] as all my content is exclusive to the platform - but after the fork to Hive, I decided to change it to First generation Hive user, since I have been here from the first Hive block.

ok got it so you choose hive over steemit

This is so well written.