I'm totally unsure how this post is going to be taken, but I feel the rare need to write about my recent surgery.
Background
18 years ago this March, my only child was born. Unplanned (by me, not her mother), but that didn't matter at all to me, I just wanted to be a part of her life and influence her to be a good person. My life changed, and then again 3 months later, when her mother and I split.
Cue a fair few years of turmoil. Depression, heavy alcohol and drug use, and a constant feeling of missing someone, until the light shone again at the weekend when it was my turn to care. Her mother was mostly horrible to me, using our child as a bargaining tool throughout.
When my daughter was 9, I quit my job (following depression / Seasonal Affective Disorder) and moved to Spain, seeking sunshine and happiness. It was the best decision I ever made. I was in my mid-thirties and feeling like a new person, and since that move feelings of sadness and depression have been rare to none.
More children perhaps?
Despite feeling rather fucked over with my first experience with fatherhood, I didn't rule out the possibility of meeting a (more stable, older, and just generally a bit fucking nicer) women who wanted to start/grow a family. And I did - a couple of them.
However, it just didn't feel like the right time with J - not the right time for 5 years....
It wasn't until last April though, that a verbal 'no' flew out of my mouth. The subject was brought up constantly by the girl, and her family and friends. And instead of thinking fuck I've scored here (She's a pretty 188cm blonde with a wealthy family), I was uncomfortable with the idea.
After another six or so months of thoughts, include such like 'well if you don't want children with that one you clearly aren't interested in more'! I haven't been, and not for a long time it seems - I just didn't know for sure until 'cornered'.
The past month
Started with me going to the doctors regarding my eye, which is currently watering whenever I eat. Nerve damage / crocodile tears, I read - the doc just gave me some steroids. However, he also made me an appointment to discuss a potential Vasectomy at a nearby hospital.
Less than I week later, I was at this hospital and chatting to a female doctor about myself and the procedure. She wanted to know if I had children already and how many, and my age. That was it. There was no 'are you realllly sure', or 'is this your final answer', it was straight on to the appointment date, which was the Thursday 21st December 2023.
The night before the surgery I was asked to visit the hospital again and this time spoke to a male surgeon who told me how to prepare (no food or drink 12 hours prior), what was going to happen, and who would be performing the surgery.
The key new piece of 'what was going to happen' information, was that I would be knocked out for 'half an hour or so' and wake up 'during the last 5 minutes of the surgery'. This was discomforting to hear, but I think for the best in hindsight!
It was to be the female doctor performing the surgery, who'd I'd spoken to the week prior - I was confident that I'd been very nice and polite, but if I knew it would be this person who'd have my balls in their hands, I'd have been mega polite!
Surgery day
And I'm kindly taken to the hospital by a friend who didn't think driving home was a good idea. Thank you!
It wasn't long before I was led to a holding room to swap my clothes for a 1 piece suit and bags for footwear. Another nurse opened the 2nd exit to the room and I was told to get onto a bed. This bed was wheeled to a curtained area, and I lay there waiting for 20 minutes. These minutes passed slowly, mainly because the bed wasn't anywhere near long enough and I had to have either my head or ankles touching cold metal.
I should have asked for a pillow (probably more likely than a bigger bed), but this was quickly forgotten about when the nurse turned up with the Cannula for my hand. It's not the first time I've had one of these, and the last time I slept with one for a week - not so nice rolling onto your hand in your sleep! I'm not a fan of needles and didn't look once.
The next couple of minutes were not comfortable. I remember squirming the drugs were injected, and then squirming some more when the doc said the nurse would need to add more. I remember being asked about my daughter, and then gone....
Until I woke up to the doc saying 'ok Asher, that's the left side done, we have to do the right side now'. The other doc did say I'd wake towards the end of the operation, but I wasn't convinced and also wanted 'wake up after surgery!'.
In front of me was a screen. The doctor quickly explained that she'd seen my reaction to the needles and thought it better I shouldn't see what was going on mid operation. I was spaced out, and grateful for the screen.
The next 5 minutes were totally bizarre. Still very dazed, the doc is busy doing what felt like ball-sack rummaging from the inside, whilst chatting merrily to me.
'This might hurt a little'. Yeah it did, but I made sure I didn't move a muscle - fears of the wrong cable being cut n all!
Another minute or two of what I presume was cauterisation and plaster application, and I was moved beds and wheeled to the room I'd used to change around 45 mins earlier. I got off the bed, walked slowly inside and took what seemed like an age to get dressed. Not surprising really considering the drugs and work done not an hour prior.
My friend in the waiting room collected me. She had also helped other guys leaving the ward - opening doors and giving directions. It seems the procedure is common, and the turnaround is not much more than an hour for the lot. This time, or lack of, being heavily influenced by 10/15 mins from operation completion to car! I was very grateful for the ride and support on the day - 100% recommend!
Balls online
I took this photo on the day of the surgery, not to share with the world initially, but here we go :)
Tidy work eh? And hopefully mildly interesting and not disgusting.
Two weeks post-snip / Today
Two weeks yesterday in fact. I see white blood cells are on the case and I think it's healing OK, despite the hole. There has been a little pain and discomfort at times, but nothing so bad to warrant more than a days worth of painkillers. I've been exercising too - and have found a new love for tight boxer shorts, for now :)
All being well, my next appointment is at the end of April. Apparently the sperm cables can re-attach and so ya juice needs testing for duds. That would not be cool if I was still fertile (precautions being taken), but I think I would begrudgingly go through the procedure again - this says a lot both for my keenness and for the general discomfort of the op - 'not toooo bad!'
This post will be passed to family and friends - I've only told a couple of people thus far that I shall be taking no further part in growing the worlds population.
I don't think folks will be too fussed.
Future
I've been single and done little dating in this past year, but perhaps I'll re-word my Tinder profile soon and give it a go. Any ideas of what to write? 😆
Happy New Year!
Asher
I just came for the testicles
Are you entering the competition? lol
Hang on... I can win something?!
You deserve to win something after going through all that lol.
Mr. Universe - the ball sack competition
Or as I like to call them...Besticles
Surely worth a trophy lol
Besticles 🤣
Thank you!
Oh no, I'm just evaluating new fabric to make me a backpack.
lol It would be hard to get lost in a crowd in that one!
🤣
That sentence is so hot 🔥😏
lol happy to help
That was actually a great post and very informative. I'm a father of three and both my wife and I have no plans for more children, so the snip is something I am considering. Your post gave me a good idea on what to expect, so thanks for that dude. I don't think I'll be posting any ball pics though 😁
I was hoping there would be a few guys reading in who had the op in mind.
If you do decide I'll not be upset if your balls don't get blockchain-ed - they all look the same anyways
Ha ha, indeed!!
This is a very important topic buddy - long time no speak - thx for sharing this and it seems it is totally relevant for the community. I will deep dive into my illness things and also draft something up soon. Hope you are well, you always had good and nice balls :-)
A life-changing topic for me and other guys :)
Thanks! :D
I feel like everything has been said already, all the ball jokes aside, Happy New Year and good for you for doing this if your certain of not wanting more children. And I'm sorry that a woman tricked you into fatherhood, that must have been a rocky situation and pretty confusion as well. You took back control, so power to you :)
Room for one more ball gag? :)
I guess you can never be certain, and there is a reverse op available, but I think with one child and being 45 (and ok, increasingly selfish!), I'm good without.
Thanks, but you know it takes two to tango, and I do have a lovely daughter who has helped make the past traumas fade somewhat.
Take care and thanks for the comment :)
Haha sure! As long as you can handle them :)
And yes, I remember you mentioned your daughter before, and it always seemed you are happy with her and a good dad. Just the situation of getting to become a dad was probably not ideal ;) But you know what, I chose to have kids with my ex, who turned out to be a complete shithole and even these choices sometimes turn out for the worst, as with us.
So you are doing just fine there.. Hope the healing went well and have a good weekend!
😂 Only gently and only me at the moment!
Ah, sorry to hear about your situation - same for my bro after he stood firm for years 😞
Healing is going ok thank you, still a small hole but well on the way to recovery 😁
Around midway this post definitely "jingled" my b̶a̶l̶l̶s̶ bells! It's not an easy decision to make, knowing how much our "manhood" means to us, and how scary it can be. Yet, I believe you've thought this through, with an ample amount of time in hand, before coming towards making a decision.
Those years dating back by a decade or two surely have been rough, but I hope that the years ahead will be kind to you, and your loved ones.
Do take good care of yourself, and jingle your bells wisely while on Tinder haha. 😉
An empathetic jingle sound fine to me, thank you :)
It's been on my mind for years, I just needed a push (or the balls?!).
Ups and down like everyone I guess, but the fatherhood n dating parts have been tough!
Thanks again, have a cracking 2024 :D
The balls, definitely the balls. 😂
Yup, we've all got these ups and downs, just in the different aspects of our lives. Life is just about learning to go with the flow and riding these ups and downs, I guess.
You are welcome! Hopefully, 2024 will be a year full of kindness, growth, and union. Cheers! 🍻
A push and the balls sir!
I heard Life described in 5 words not too dissimilar yours - 'Enjoying the passage of time'
Yup, definitely something like that...
Cor blimey. That's an event and a half. I have thought of it myself lately. Doesn't seem so horrible apart from the small pit of despair on the bollock 😀
Pit of despair, sheesshh! 😬
🤣
The pit of despair!
I've still got the pit, it's looking a bit whitey yellow :/ It's not giving me any grief though, and my nuts aren't black n blue anymore.
Not so bad overall, and I'm hoping future 'benefits' fill that pit :)
Future benefits are what it's all about!!
When the pit of despair is gone you might even miss it 🤣
I won't miss carefully washing my bruised nuts - all this extra cleaning, bah!
Balls to the wind, nutscaping with reason, manscaping 🤣, laughing with you, well done!
Too many men never discuss, really hope married men are listening, much easier for men than woman! I speak from experience, 22 staples later forty years on when his lordship chickened out after I had two cesarean delivered sons!
!BEER
I prefer a weekly (or more frequently if my luck is in?!) nutscape if I'm being honest :)
Yes I hear, and no pills or items under the skin!
Chickened out? I feel there is a lot of information in this sentence!
Silence is golden, what comes around goes around, that is life!
A ball-tearingly good story Asher, and one that...wait for it...took balls to do - both the op and the post.
Is there going to be a sequel? Maybe a series of artistic photos for the photography lovers community? Hmm, maybe not, that'd be nuts...literally
It's good to see a post from you man, and I think it's cool to write about this stuff, the journey emotionally and physically, and about the future which I hope is a good one for you because you deserve that.
Hey Galen, sorry I missed a reply here - terrible Hiving.
Yes! I have been waiting for this comment, thank you!
I thought it would do me some good and maybe inform too. Cheers dude, a Happy New Year to you and yours :)
All good mate and I hope this are well with you too; hopefully 2024 is a really good year for you and I...and others too of course. 😊
A picture is worth a thousand words
Are you suggesting I use the picture above? 😂
haha yes, but please don't take my advice since it might get you kicked off Tinder 😂
I think this photo would be allowed, although I'm not sure if it would very popular?! I'll take my chances with my mug!
I don't want any more kids and might consider the snip. It seems a responsible thing to do, so well done. I hope it's not too painful.
Happy new year!
Thanks Steve. I think pretty responsible - my dad was 46 when I arrived and I've got 4 younger siblings. I didn't want a repeat of that!
Happy New Year and hats off for setting up such a post with lots of personal details! I often think of doing it too but I quickly step back in my shell and let out way too little. Sometimes is good, sometimes is bad.
Either way, I'm sorry to hear everything you've been through but no doubt each of these chapters of your life made you stronger. I'm not going to say anything about the 2nd pic as it's obviously inappropriate coming from a girl, lol 😂 but at least you got one of those images are in trend to be shared with girls you will date haha!
Take care and good luck with the next procedure in a few months 🤗
Hi! Happy New Year!
I guess I have shared quite a bit over the years, and don't think it's done much harm so far :)
Stronger, bitter? :D
You can say what you like - I'm sure they look much like many others!
Ha! Well I have one thing less to share now so maybe!
Thanks!
I did share a bit too, but definitely not from my health situation. Not that it's a bad thing as it's still a way of getting to meet someone better, but just not ready for it as I've never really saw too much interest in this kind of posts on my end 😆
Anyway, take care and enjoy your dates. Not sure about the dating apps as I heard lots of bad stories with them, but it's worth a try. You definitely have plenty of cool stories to share with those girls 🤗
I understand regarding 'health posts', and i guess just continue what you are comfortable with. Personally, I really appreaciate raw open honest life stories told here :)
You should be on guard, especially as a women. But like in 'real life', there are some nice normal people on these things too :)
Looks like an OAP's elbow.
Show us yer elbow!
There is some resemblance (not my elbow).
Haha!
Yup, it's true :D
hey! you wrote a post!
He finally got up the balls to do it.
Blank shots fired!
🤣
That's not official until end April where I'll find out if all went to plan!
Yeah, it needed just a little poke in the balls, that's all :)
😂
Indeed!
I did! And in October and July too - quarterly it seems :)
Happy New Year!
Happy new year, Ash :)
Ok, maybe a little disgusting, lol! But definitely interesting. I'm married with as many kids as I want to have so it is something I have been considering.
Thanks! :D
You sound like a good candidate. I hope that my post has provided some food for thought. Good luck and have an ace 2024 :D
For a while I thought that I must get a wife and kids. In our society that seems to be expected. Now I no longer want either of those things. But I am not dating anyone so for now I don't need a surgery.
It's good that you have a clear picture of what you want and don't want.
In not dating anyone either at present, but this will hopefully set my stall out clearly.
damn bold move or should i say "balled move" :P
Anyway, i hope this was the right decision and also your life to be better for now, not having in my mind i mean the whole "making of a kid"
😂
You reminded me of the first meeting with the female doctor and the 'checkup' a week prior - she asked me to shave for the big day, 'like today is fine'. 😁
I'm not regretting it thus far and hope so too!
I feel This online relationship has gotten more intimate in the early days of 2024, and when the hole is healed it might be an interesting profile pic for tinder., or onlyfans.
I want to write a lot but won’t , you own them and you made damn sure you decide what happens to all parts of your body, I like that.
Ps
You sure the balance board is allowed with the healing still ongoing?
Us? aww :)
Please write! I'll not be offended :)
Yes (but the ballsack appointment was in my mind before i went and it wasn't the doctor that suddenly made me decide!)
I'm sure they won't, I've just made myself unavailable for this task. Perhaps there will be other (ladies) who also feel they've done their bit or don't want to take part.
Do take care of yourself, must've taken a while to decide to do the surgery as these things can be tricky. I'm on a road of health complications myself and these things aren't easy. Hopefully the procedure in April turns out to be smooth.
Thanks. Wishing you a healthy 2024 also.
Good to see you back posting, hopefully you don't take another year to stay in touch, old friend.
Cheers dude! Did a couple last year, probs the same this time too
I read the first image. Pressed right to go to the next image, then my brain processed what I read!
🤣 doh! I tried!
Wishing you a swift recovery, Asher! Your upbeat perspective and courage shine through. Your detailed account might just inspire someone going through a similar journey. Wishing you all the best on the path ahead
Thank you!
Wow, what a post.
It's the nuts isn't it? 😂
Certainly gifts an emotional result.
Oh noooo I would never dare to do it hahaha, not because of taboo but because I'm more afraid than you to doctors and needles just thinking about it gives me chills, Thank you magnificent and interesting what you tell us, we hope the next seasons hahaha.
Your courage in sharing your surgery journey is truly inspiring. Your honesty and humor make this experience relatable and engaging. Wishing you a fantastic New Year ahead as you embrace new adventures and connections. Your openness about your life's journey is refreshing and appreciated. Best wishes for your future endeavors and on your Tinder profile rewrite!
Feeling well after knowing that we can easily write about ourselves without any hesitation.
Hope you're spending good time now and onwards.
View or trade
BEER.Hey @abh12345, here is a little bit of
BEERfrom @joanstewart for you. Enjoy it!Do you want to win SOME BEER together with your friends and draw the
BEERKING.Good riddance with your seeds. Although to be completely sincere unlike the others here. The only thing I'm truly going to wish for you... is that after re-wording your Tinder profile soon, as to give it a go again. May you never ever meet a petite and succulent brunette like this one below who falls madly in love with you and also wants a child of yours.
Wouldn't that be a rather mean twist of fate. I'm just going to assume that the front isn't as nice as the back of the lady above and live in seedless bliss ☺️
Whilst I check her bum out for just a bit longer 😍
Oh! of course. It wouldn't only be a mean twist of fate. But it would be a truly horrible catastrophe for humanity. How many gorgeous children could you not contribute with to the world anymore?
Wishful thinking. That's what always keeps us safe for a while after our decisions. };)
No!
The planet looks to be over-subscribed as it is!
Yep, that's true. But it's going to happen anyway. So, how about replacing the ugly ones with prettier ones?
🤣
Not in this life!
Uhm, ok, then I suppose that I'm gonna have to introduce you in person to the succulent petite brunette above so you can see her face and front-end, just to see if you change your mind.