ADSactly Short Stories: Adventure Into the Unknown
I recognize that as a technology blogger short story writing isn't exactly my area of expertise. But as a writer I think it is important to explore different types of writing. Even if you have a niche that you are especially good at writing about, it doesn't mean that you can't expand your horizons and focus on another area of writing. Sometimes I find writing about technology topics to be a bit of a drag and other times writers block descends upon me as I try to jot down my next technology driven masterpiece on paper! So in the spirit of staying to true to the words I've written above, I give you a short story which has nothing to do about technology! Here's a techblogger's attempt at nice bit of fiction. A brisk wind struck the boy's face as he frantically ran down the path. A path of stone and rocks and twigs and moss. A gravel path once trodded upon at leisure. Sweat was dripping from his brow and forehead, a chill ran up his spine and the madness, the madness drove him even faster and deeper into the unknown. His heart raced as if it wanted to get somewhere that only the blood coursing through his veins knew how to get to. This road. Who would have known, this cold hard unfeeling road would be the road to his redemption. It's worn down concrete, potholes and cracks held the key to a better life. If he could just run a bit faster, and go a bit further, it may just be enough to get him out of dodge and save him from the beast that chased him. He had to find the courage and strength needed to get away from the thing that had haunted him most. The beast that had consumed his hopes and dreams and left him in a state that could be described as hopeless. But how could he have strayed so far? He could have only gotten into this unbearable situation from a malestrom of bad luck and a more than a few wrong turns in life. The wind was a brisk reminder how far he had strayed from what he had initally set out to do. The moonlight gave guidance and vision to his frantic escape from the monster that was chasing him. He could hardly do anything besides sprint as fast as his legs would take him only slowing at brief intervals to pant and gasp for air. Aches and pains ran up his legs and spine as his body tried to cope with the damage caused from unrelenting and frantic escape. The mind pushing the body into maddness with itself. Fear is a terrible thing. Something he had never had to face so directly in his life. The fear of death couldn't compare to the boy's fear of not accomplishing his dream. The dream that had driven him to wake up each day and continue to struggle and overcome life's many obstacles. The dream that blinded him from the present moment and demanded every single ounce of energy in dedication of it's pursuit. Although still just a boy people had already begun mistaking him for a young man. Although he was only 14 years old, he was much larger than the other boys in his year group. He was lean, muscular and fit. All the time spent playing sport paid off at this very moment. His heart pounded feverishly as a sprint for his life was the only thing seperating him from that of which he feared most. After several hours of running he had become exhausted but he knew he had to keep going. If he stopped now all would be lost. The sounds of the night cried out to him, the deafening orchestra of grasshoppers set against the occasional sound of leaves crumpling beneath his sneakers or tree branch cracking under his foot. He had come a long way but his journey into the unknown had just begun. The monster chasing him would give up until it had completely consumed him. It had resolved to continue chasing him without rest. It was completely intent on the absolute and total annihilation of this boy. There was no point in denying it. This situation had become life or death and to the boy, death was not an option. A fork in the road… Left, right, which one would it be… He didn’t have the strength to think clearly, his body shook from the adrenaline and his legs ached of overuse. He began to ponder and second guess his choice in the first place. Would it really have been so bad to suffer the fate his friends had suffered and at least it would be over right? The infection had spread so fast that by the time the authorities were even aware there was a problem they had already been infected themselves. It didn’t take long for the whole town to become mad with this strange disease. If only he hadn’t been so arrogant. If only he had warned the authorities before the problem had gotten out of hand, well, there was at least a possibility this could have been prevented. This was no time to become distracted with the possibilities of the past. His choice was in the present moment. Left being just as good as right, he had no clear idea of how to end this chase triumphantly. He became overwhelmed with self pity and sat down under a walnut tree nearby. He breathed heavily as he fingers fumbled around, trying to find the bottle of water he had tucked away in his bag. He shook the bottle violently and tried to drink the last remaining drops of water that were left. The situation was surely becoming dire. No food, no water, completely exhausted and not a clue how to fix any of these problems. Overwhelmed with guilt and self-pity he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep. He opened his eyes. Stretched, yawned--morning, already? How long had he been out? For heavensakes, he could have at least had found better shelter for the night. A quick glance around showed him no signs of the monster that had been chasing him. Thank God, but at the moment, hunger pangs in his stomach warned of a much bigger threat. If he didn't find water and food soon, his body would no longer have enough strength to save him from the worst fate of all. It was daylight now and he had made it no further than the fork in the road but the road seemed somehow different. There were birds chirping and the sun beamed down upon his face. It was like he was being called upon to continue this journey, his misery had disappeared and a sense of hope filled his gut. Down the road to the right it appeared there was some sort of building up ahead. The left fork didn’t look nearly as promising. He stretched out his legs and threw his bag over his shoulder. His mouth was as dry as a desert and his face and arms were covered with mosquito bites. Instead of a sprint all he could manage was a brisk walk towards the building. Anything was better than admitting self defeat. As long as his legs could carry him further there was a chance that things could be restored to normal. A chance meant hope and hope was all he had to cling to. Perhaps the rest of humanity could survive the encounter with this strange disease and the monster carrying it? Well folks, this was a techblogger's attempt at a nice thriller fiction piece. I'll admit that I'm still a beginner at best when it comes to writing fiction. In the process of writing this piece I found that it pushed me to go a step further with my writing and I also was forced to make a significant personal investment in the editing and proofing of the story. After all, a good story should flow naturally and take its reader to another place and time. A break from reality and a journey into fantasy! Now, I'd like to ask @ADSactly society members for feedback about this short story. I know there are a lot of really talented authors in the society and I have a lot to learn when it comes to writing compelling fiction. What did you like? What did you feel could be improved? How would you end a story like this, assuming you wanted to give it a better level of finality? Your thoughts, opinions and feedback are appreciated. Thanks for reading. Authored by: @techblogger Image Source: Pexels
Image Source: Pexels
Adventure Into the Unknown
Image Source: CliffHanger Press
Click on the coin to join our Discord Chat
Witness proposal is here:
Go To Steem Witness Page
In the bottom of the page type: adsactly-witness and press vote.
Use small letters and no "@" sign. Or, click here to vote directly!
Thank you!
You say this is an early attempt a fiction- but blimey there is so much to love in this piece! I love the frantic sense of movement you captured and the building sense of threat behind, along with building disaster in terms of exhaustion.
Your question about creating an end which has more of a sense of finality about it- perhapse give your readers a glimpse of the monster stalking up behind his prey... or the very first sight of the madness taking hold and the character just realising it as you draw to a close.
Thanks for a fun read! E x
Nice ideas. Thanks for these.
Looking forward to reading more of your fiction! E x
I never wrote a piece like this, so this is me being a novice talking to a novice.
It is written in a way that makes me as a reader want to know more about the boy and the monster and the situation he is in. You managed to peak my curiosity and made me become ever so slightly emotionally invested. If you were to continue doing that, I am sure that people would have a hard time wanting to stop reading.
Well done.
I'm happy to hear I wrote it well enough to keep you engaged. That is an accomplishment in itself these days! I may just give this type of writing another shot down the road. Thanks.
You definitely should. Maybe you will end up being one of the greatest one day.
Great start for a story! I would not have put it down had there been a continuation. A fine job indeed.
Thanks Dave! That is fantastic feedback. Makes me feel really good about this piece.
The suggestions of the piece you wrote are many and (in my opinion) can be realized in different hypotheses. and I have chosen two of these that have materialized in my mind: 1 - the frenetic rush and the struggle to overcome a typical adolescent crisis of a boy-man and I will not dwell, 2- a beautiful anti-racist message to make known to study and comment in schools, perhaps with some direct intervention by witnesses who have experienced this crazy odyssey in escaping from torture, hunger and the monsters of violence.
If it were in Italian I could adopt it for a lesson on anti-racism or homophobia, a very current topic unfortunately, here in Italy. We are full of polemics and statements "mentula canis" on the sad topic.
Do not continue the story I prefer it so ... ad majora friend!
running in the forest
my work
Where do you find such creativity?
Beautiful
Nice pic...
Good writing skills you have dear
I so much love your work, can you be my mentor?
Thanks for the kind words. I doubt I'm at the level required to do a decent job of being anyone's mentor in regard to fiction writing but it is flattering to say the least. Best of luck!
There is no other word for you @adsactly, keep the spirit and success always, I always support you.
handsome
Good writing with good knowledge.
Check out similar Sci-Fi storie here"Incoming Transmission" https://steemit.com/fiction/@steemspecial/short-sci-fi-story-incoming-transmission-english
Nice
Loved the story @adsactly , glad i checked it out! upped earlier by Auto now resteemed for more to enjoy!💕✌👍
As we say in my country friend, I take off my hat, your story is far from being a story of beginners, you have wood for this type of writing, let me tell you that its story caught my attention from start to finish and I imagined every event of anguish of this boy of only 14 years.
I liked the part where the child fights, runs and pursues his dream of saving his life overcoming obstacles, he was strong and could continue to escape the monster that harassed him on his way, this part of the story is motivating and teaches us that we should not fear that we have to exhaust all our strength and continue fighting for our welfare.
I hope to read the next episode when the child faces his enemy in a battle of titans and the end will be suspended that each of us in the comments can give the last lines, it would be very interesting to participate at the end of the story
Grateful to @adsactly for this post
The fear of unknown monster to swallow, the fear of unknown disease which infection could be dangerous if not prevented earlier, the chase of dreams the adrenal so many things the orchestra of grasshopper, and a young boy of fourteen come so far from his own land to dream land or unknown land with a little hope of something good and no fear to miseries which lefts back, everything was crystal clear and interlinked with every situation and some fear and excitement encourage me to complete the story as soon as possible and finally the fiction come to it's conclusion and everything was splendid dear friend maybe it's your first fiction short story but it is a masterpiece and I personally suggest you to make another part of this story as what happened to this young boy when he reached to the building or that town and what happened to those who lefts behind.
Good luck my friend I am your new and little follower now.
Good luck for another masterpiece from your side maybe we witness very soon, till then enjoy your creativity and dreamland.
Take care.
hey awesome boy
how can you find such a interesting story ??
its some book story or you imagine by your own ??
awesome dear ..
hahhahahha loved it, BUDDY- CAN U VISIT I MY PROFILE AND DO Upvote & COMMENt it will help me to rise slowly like u all Pros
Rangkaian kata kata yang baik di untai dalam kalimat menjadi fiksi yang dan menarik. Tidak terasa terbaca habis. Saya kagum
Hi adsactly ... exceptionally intriguing blog and the way you have communicated is incredible and I truly cant express it.. it is safe to say that you are an expert author??
Nice pics, the first one it's so amazing
You managed to prick my curiosity, but it wasn't fed. I needed more, more about the beast, about the boy, the disease, there has to be a continuation, right?
Maybe someday @josphirre. I'm pleased to know you enjoyed it!
tôi đã bỏ phiếu cho bạn
@adsactly you are such a great writer ..
can we chat i want to know about you..?
@ adsactly
unique profile name, unique story!
never thought reading would be this interesting sir.
well done and bless me sir.
This great story i appreciate your writing thanks for sharing..
Check out similar Sci-Fi storie here"Incoming Transmission" https://steemit.com/fiction/@steemspecial/short-sci-fi-story-incoming-transmission-english