#SharkSchool Lesson 4 - 4500 Words That You Probably Are Just Going To Skim So You Can Leave A Retarded Comment

in #business7 years ago


Okay I'm bored so I'm going to give you some more tips. I don't know what's wrong with my brain lately but I feel too dumb to come up with my usual posts. So looks like you're getting facts two days in a row. Sad.

  1. What to write about
  2. How to get rid of writers block
  3. Keep a diary
  4. Befriend your demons
  5. Always delete the first paragraph
  6. Paragraph spacing
  7. How many times to proofread/edit your posts before publishing
  8. Being unpredictable = being interesting
  9. Don't be afraid to be inconsistent and contradict yourself
  10. You must write long-form articles. No exceptions
  11. If you don't write long form articles, then wyd?
  12. "Come on, do the thing!"
  13. Commenting - should you do it?
  14. Haters

What to write about

I'm probably the wrong person to ask about this, but I believe you should write about whatever the fuck you want to write about. When I'm writing something, if I have to stop and think about what I want to say then that tells me that I'm on the wrong track. I believe it should all just flow out of you onto the screen. You can always go back and edit it later.

While we all love reading about the best restaurants in Little Rock, Arkansas or listening to your brand new song about why Steemit is awesome, I believe that the path to good art is found through genuineness (for lack of a better term).

Good art/writing/music whatever isn't about sitting there and logically thinking about how to put the notes or words together. Maybe the first five minutes is like that, but the goal should be to work long enough that your brain turns off and everything just flows. Once you get into that flow state, the goal is to keep yourself there for as long as you can while you work. When the state ends (usually from fatigue) and you're not able to kickstart it, it means the piece is over.

How to get rid of writer's block

Studies have shown that all living things work with greater energy when their peers are around. When I'm at the gym hitting the pads with a trainer, I won't work so hard if it's just me and him. But the second another person walks in I increase my efforts because I want to look good. So does my trainer.

Like it or not, we all have egos. And if you're lucky then you have some pride in your work as well. Maybe you're just starting out and your writing is shit, but that's no reason not to keep working at it.

Don't be put off by me or anyone else who says your content is garbage. Mine is also garbage. So what? Most people will probably be super nice and say, "Wow, it was really good!" Chances are they're just lying to be polite.

In my case, I made such a stink on this platform about how this place needs an overhaul that I admittedly bit off more than I can chew. I'm trying to be present in this Discord channel but I can't be there all the time. I still haven't sent any emails out to the people who have signed up for the email list. And on top of that now I have to come up with these fucking #sharkschool articles.

I've never taught a course before. I have literally no idea what I'm doing and I'm too lazy to even copy anyone else. Maybe some people will get value from me analyzing my writing process. Maybe they won't.

You have to understand that you can't expect the work you put in today to pay off tomorrow. Trees don't grow overnight. The work you do today will pay off in a year, two years, three etc. It may be disheartening... fuck, wait a second. What does this have to do with writer's block? God damn it.

I just sat down and started typing and eventually got carried away. But look at all those words I wrote. Does that look like writer's block to you? Granted they don't have anything especially to do with getting rid of writer's block, but that's kind of besides the point. I can always go back and change the heading later to make it fit.

I sat down ten minutes ago and was like alright, it's nine thirty at night and I'm bored but don't want to go to sleep. I'll write a Steemit article!

Had no idea what I was going to write about. Just sat down and started putting words down. I'll probably end up deleting a lot of them later. And if I wasn't trying to make a point about getting rid of writer's block, I'd DEFINITELY delete this convoluted mass of shit that I just spent several hundred words explaining.

Keep a diary

I mentioned in the first #sharkschool lesson that I kept a diary for many years. I believe this was THE MOST important thing that I did to improve my writing. In fact, when I can be bothered to occasionally read other writers on here, I can tell which ones kept a diary as well.

How do I know? Their writing is crisp and clear. They know how to tell a story. And while they don't talk about as much of the dark side of their human nature as I would like, I can tell that they know just what to say in order to cover it up. They're writing for you, after all.

Trust me, you don't learn that shit in a fucking creative writing class at school. You don't learn it by churning out 5 paragraph essays in AP English. You don't learn it writing legal briefs.

There's only one way you learn how to send the words deep into your readers' souls: by spilling your guts on the page. Why? Because you'll go back and read that shit because you love yourself more than anything in the world.

If it sucks, you'll know why it sucks. And if it's good, then you'll remember why and use the same strategies again in the future.

Befriend your demons

Good writing is not writing about happy moments in your life. I'm not saying it needs to be all doom and gloom, but you need to have some darkness in order to balance out the light.

For example, you'll never see any news headlines that say:

Everything was fine today. Nothing bad happened. What a great day!

Never. Why? Because nobody's going to buy a fucking newspaper with that shit headline on it. We want to know how many schoolchildren died in the freak ice cream truck accident. We want to hear about how some chick cut off her husband's pee pee because he fucked her sister. We want the dirty, ugly stuff.

If you have never written about those things before then exposing that side of yourself will probably make you uncomfortable. You probably also have no desire to share that with anyone and that's fine.

But if you want to be able to give a well-rounded description of the human condition then you need to be comfortable writing about the dark side of human nature. A perfect way to do this is by keeping a diary.

With a diary, you can write about all the shit that's going on in your life and be 100% honest. Keep it to yourself and don't let anyone read it. Just let loose, talk about your day and tell the story of your life.

It will be bad at first. Even when you know nobody else will read it, you'll have moments where you are about to write something that exposes a vulnerability, weakness or ugly side of you and you'll check yourself.

You'll think - hmm, what if someone reads this someday? Do I really want to commit this to paper?

Only you can answer that question. I think that if you keep writing long enough then you'll want to put it all out there.

I am starting to see a few people on this platform who are obviously in touch with their dark side but are hesitant to show it to their readers. Understandable, because of how this place rewards positivity and "cooperation." Nobody wants to say how they lied, cheated and secretly wished destruction on their peers for no reason other than pure, unbridled jealousy. That's "bad," right?

The fact is that when you expose those things about yourself, you'll touch a deep part of your reader who has felt those same emotions but never verbalized them. You'll instantly create a connection with them and they'll feel like they know you. It won't be reciprocal, but as a content creator do you really care if it is? No. Your job is to inform, to entertain and ultimately to sell your $27.99 ebook and $500/month coaching program.

Always delete the first paragraph

When I was selling hair straighteners, I would notice that my first few attempts to stop people in the morning would be horrendous. Not like I was some scrub with broken English either - I was a seasoned salesman that had been giving literally the same pitch every day for years.

Even still, it took me a few times to get my tongue loosened up.

My first few demos would also be shit. I'd realize that I was making mistakes in the middle of my pitch as I was giving it. But what am I going to do? Tell the customer oh no sorry, wait hold on I fucked up, let me start over... No. You can't do that.

And you can't do that with writing either. Yes, I know sometimes you start writing and you're just not feeling it. Maybe you even get a few hundred words in and you look at what you wrote like: this is fucking garbage. What's wrong with me today? Why can't I write anything?

Don't worry. It happens.

And if you write regularly it will happen more than you think. Because if you write long enough, eventually you'll actually write something that resonates with people. It'll be a work of art that you'll go back and read several times yourself because it's TWICE as enjoyable for you because you know that YOU'RE the one that wrote it.

It's the same in sales. You have a few good days in a row and think you're hot shit. But then when you have a few bad days it hurts even more because you expected yourself to crush it every day.

Fuck, got sidetracked again. Anyway, the point is that if you think what you're writing is shit, just keep writing. Even if it takes you 1000 words to get to strike oil. you'll strike it eventually.

Before I wrote my last post I started and stopped 4 different times. I now have 4 posts that are half-way finished that I'm not happy with. And truth be told I'm not even really happy with the last #sharkschool post because I wasn't able to complete it in my signature style. I know that. But that's life.

And if I really had balls I'd kick it old school, fire up the diary, and publish it on Steemit. But I don't.

Anyway... I think I had a point in there somewhere.

Paragraph spacing

I had someone in the Discord channel ask me the other day if I spaced my paragraphs as I was writing or if I went back and did it later. I do it as I go.

Some things you should do as you go and some things you should do later. Spacing paragraphs should be done as you go because it'll be much easier for you to edit everything if it's nice and neat.

Word choice, punctuation, and paragraph spacing all contribute to the reader's unconscious experience of your content - arguably just as important as their conscious one. I believe that when the reader glances at the screen and sees your article, the "image" of your content needs to be immediately pleasing.

It needs to glide into their line of vision, hook them by the eyeball and drag them through each line until the end. Space your paragraphs.

How many times to proofread/edit your posts

Here's my writing process:

  1. Write the main body of the post in one sitting
  2. Go through and proofread for spelling/grammar/punctuation errors
  3. Go through again and add links to the post every few paragraphs
  4. Go through again and add headings to the different sections
  5. Go through again and proofread for spelling/grammar/punctuation again
  6. Paste "signature" at the bottom of the post
  7. Add current Instagram pic to signature
  8. Find new deep fried meme to add to signature
  9. Read post one more time for errors
  10. Write the clickbait title of the post
  11. Choose tags
  12. Write clever call to action (resteems) at the bottom of the post
  13. Publish post
  14. Upvote post with bots from steembottracker
  15. Go do something else

As you can imagine, this takes quite a bit of time. You don't have to do it this way but I recommend a similar process if you want your content to be crisp.

Also, notice that I write the title of the post AFTER I write the actual content. I've found that this makes it easier for me to actually write the post as I don't feel trapped within a certain topic.

Obviously I'm a fan of going off on tangents, though I always try to bring them back around to the main point of the post.

Being unpredictable = being interesting

In my previous posts I've talked a lot of shit about why the Trending page is bad. What I really meant is that the content is predictable and unoriginal. This is not unique to Steemit's Trending page. This is basically most mainstream content.

Hollywood movies, network TV shows, cartoons, video games.. they're all the same. They all follow the same format. The same bullshit that we've all seen so many times. I don't know about you guys, but I'm sick of it. I've been sick of it for years. It drive me up the wall to see the same shit over and over and OVER again in a different wrapper.

While I'll admit that I'm probably more sensitive to the trite storytelling that dominates virtually every content medium out there, I don't think my experience is particularly unique. Even if most people don't consciously realize that most movies, TV shows, blogs, companies, commercials, etc are all basically the same, they can still recognize the similarities between them.

Where I'm going with this is that when you're unpredictable, when you do something that people don't expect, you not only cause an emotional response (surprise) inside them, but you also pique their interest.

Again, I'm not saying that you should be unpredictable just for the sake of being unpredictable. But you need to understand that doing something unexpected is a surefire way to get (and hopefully keep) the attention of your reader.

Don't be afraid to be inconsistent and contradict yourself

Human beings are not archetypal figures that say one thing and stick by it their entire lives. Situations change, people change. Sometimes the change can take years, sometimes it happens over the course of a single conversation.

There is a huge "arguing culture" on the internet where everyone always tries to be right. Whether you're on forums, blogs, whatever, people are always pulling out the ACKSHULLY and telling the previous poster why they're wrong.

As a result, people (including me) pump their posts with disclaimers, prerequisites and parenthetical statements that all serve to prevent these faceless know-it-alls from removing the legitimacy of our arguments.

I would tell you to ignore these people. Do what you think is right in the current moment. Don't worry that it contradicts your previous statements or behavior. You're a human being and nothing says that you are not allowed to be inconsistent.

Furthermore, when you are inconsistent and unpredictable, people never know what to expect from you. This gives you power because they will unconsciously devote their mental energy to trying to figure out what you'll do next. They'll weigh their decisions based on what you may or may not do. If you do it right, they won't be able to figure it out.

If you do it REALLY right, then you'll be so unpredictable that even YOU won't be able to figure yourself out.

You must write long-form articles. No exceptions

Ah yes. Long form articles. @YallaPapi's best friend.

Look people, you need to start writing more. I don't know how else to tell you. Nobody wants to read your 350 word posts about nothing.

In fact, on the off chance that I'll actually try and read someone else's post on here, I'll scroll all the way down to the comments just to see how long it is. If it's not at least 1000 words long then I don't bother reading it. Probably the opposite of what you do.

In fact, I'll bet most people who clicked on this article read the first two paragraphs and the last two paragraphs just so they could leave a semi-relevant comment in hopes that... I don't know, we would like their username and generic comment, check out their blog, read all their posts and give them $0.01 upvotes? The fuck is wrong with people?

Seriously, do you want to write for idiots who have chosen that as their "strategy" for "success" on Steemit? I hope you don't. Those people are idiots.

They're fucking morons who should get off their computer and go pick up garbage on the freeway to make themselves productive members of society. Because all they're doing right now is wasting oxygen and contributing to global warming by wasting electricity.

You don't want to write for those people. Not to sound like an Elitist American Jew Rothschild Bogdanoff Mafia Illuminati, but they are beneath you.

Yes, we all bleed the same color and all have roughly the same human experience. And if we were all stuck in the zombie apocalypse together I'm sure I'd find some way to bond with them.

But the fact is that we're not even close to the end of the world. We're on a fucking blogging platform that rewards us with internet points that we can exchange for US dollars after 14 weeks.

Those people are not your audience. They will never buy anything from you. They will never give you a high powered upvote. They have no influence and are not worth your time. Do not pander to them because it will get you nowhere. Ignore them and pretend that they don't even exist. For all intents and purposes, they do not.

When I post something on here, do you think I care about their opinion of my content? Absolutely not. I know that none of them read any more than is necessary to leave a semi-relevant comment.

What really gets me is people who so casually say things like, "Haha this post was really long I only read the beginning but good job! lol please read my blog."

It's like... dude... you see that I obviously took a long time to write this massive thing and format it up the ass. Yet for some reason, you think it's a good idea to actually tell me that you didn't even read it? Do you realize that makes you look like a complete retard? Seriously. The fuck is wrong with people?

If you don't write long form articles, then wyd?

If you want to become well-known, respected, an authority in your field, whatever - then you need to learn to write long-form articles.

You may have heard of these ancient artifacts that people used long ago to gain knowledge. They don't really exist anymore, but back before computers it was the only way people were able to pass information over long distances. They're called "books."

These "books" are little squares made out of hundreds, sometimes thousands of sheets of paper. Printed on these pieces of paper are words - just like the words you're reading on your screen right now.

The amount of words in these books will shock you. Most standard pages contain around 250 words. Multiply that by a 200 page book and you have a book with 100k words (front and back, dipshit).

Do you know how many books exist out there? Millions. Do you know how most people got famous back in the day for being smart or entertaining? By writing books.

So how many words are in your articles again? 300? 500? Maybe you "stretched" yourself and wrote 750 - once.

Patronizing allusions aside, you need to write long form articles so you can show off how smart and/or entertaining you are. That's really all it comes down to. It takes a lot of words to effectively control someone's mind long enough for you to insert your message into their brain. 300 words is not enough.

300 words is a soundbyte that will be quickly forgotten, pushed out of their tiny brains by the next factoid or video of a cat falling off a table. They're not going to read your fucking 300 word article anyway. They're going to read the title and skim the post for the headers.

Some people will actually read the whole thing. If you write long enough, even if you're a braindead gimp who can barely string two words together, then you will develop a following. They'll like your work so much that they'll go back and read everything you ever wrote. They'll google you and find shit you wrote on other platforms as well. Just because they like you so much.

Those are the people you want to write for. Once you get some of those you can start to worry about other groups of people.

Come on, do the thing!

If you perform long enough, eventually you'll develop a certain style. Doesn't matter if you're an actor, musician, writer or whatever - people will recognize you or your work based on its feel.

This is a mixed blessing because while it means that at least people know you well enough to recognize your work, it also means that they'll be expecting more of the same from you in the future. And there may come a time when you feel like creating something different.

They may look at that and say, "Hey, what the fuck man? Why does this look different than what you normally do? Do that thing you did before!"

It's up to you to decide whether or not you're going to let yourself be pigeonholed into performing the same way over and over. Actors face the same problem when they take too many similar roles. Very few actors don't get typecast.

It's up to you if you want to be Johnny Depp or Jack Nicholson.

Commenting - should you do it?

Commenting is a complete waste of time that could be spent on creating your own content instead.

I doubt anyone has ever written that on here before. What aspiring "guru" would basically tell his readers not to engage with his content? Guy would have to be a fucking moron to do that.

Of COURSE you should comment, guys! In fact, the best strategy is to leave a well-thought out comment that shows that you actually read the article. Hey since you're already here, why don't you practice on this post! I mean, you're already here, might as well. I'm also giving away 5 SBD to the best comment in this thread. Ready, set, circle-jerk!

I recommend you change your line of thinking. After all, you only have so many hours in the day to create content. Even if you're a total baller, you're probably not going to be able to sit in front of a screen and type non-stop for more than a few hours at a time. It's mentally draining and exhausting.

Why would you waste your time and mental energy on a comment of a post that literally nobody (except for the guy who wrote it) is going to read? Shit, people probably don't even read the guy's post and you think they're going to read your fucking comment?

Meanwhile, if you had put that time and energy into actually creating a good post of your own, you might actually get somewhere.

Yes, I know that it's commonly recommended on here to leave ten comments a day or whatever on other people's posts to get more exposure but it's total bullshit. The only valuable comment is the top comment.

While I understand that the original intent is probably to encourage people to interact with one another, commenting should not have to be encouraged. It should happen naturally, not because of a financial incentive.

Spend your time on your own work before you allow yourself the luxury of commenting on something that someone else has created.

Haters

Once you reach a high enough level, you'll get some haters. A hater is anyone who calls you out by name and publicly states that you're an idiot, fake, not genuine, unintelligent (or worse) and that your content is absolutely garbage. We are all haters - but not all of us are hated.

There's a funny saying in business that's something like, "you're not successful unless you've been sued at least twice." Something like that.

And it kind of makes sense. I mean, nobody is going to waste their time suing some guy who is a clerk at 7-11. But they'll sue his boss who owns 24 of them.

It's kind of the same once you reach a certain level of notoriety. Those of you who have been around here long enough can probably think of at least one or two people who have some haters. These are people who go out of their way to rail against whoever their target is. It's like they get some kind of weird pleasure from being so loud about why this person is bad, or wrong, or must be stopped at all costs.

What they don't realize is that all they're doing is offering free publicity for their "victim." They are giving him/her extra attention and creating awareness in others that they exist. There's no such thing as bad publicity.

I had never heard of @haejin until I saw his name pop up everywhere with people complaining about him. Same with @grumpycat. Why would I know or care about either of them? Do they write great posts that really rock your socks? No.

But people out there take hours out of their day to write long, detailed posts about why either of them is a bad person who definitely isn't invited to their birthday party.

When you have some haters, you'll know that you've finally arrived. Anyone can have fans that enjoy their work, but until you have some haters then you're still a nobody.

And you do want to be somebody, don't you?

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Follow, resteem and smash dat mf like button...

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I admit, I skipped to the haters section. You hit the nail right on the head!
It’s all about visiiiiibiiiliiiteeeee! (fake French accent).

there is no measurement system to check first 20 people who resteemed this post

tfw they didn't get the joke
tfw they didn't read the article
tfw when they actually did just skim to the bottom to leave a comment

The real question is, where are my 1000 SBDs?

You gotta change that "Smash that Like button" to "Smash that Upvote Button"! There is no like button on steemit. Or else it gets lost in translation from FB, Instagram to Steemit.

WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING

This person known on Steemit as @Haejin is WANTED by the SOUTH KOREAN GOVERNMENT for TAX ENVASION!!! They are coming after him. He has been reported to them & they know where he is. If you upvote this person & contribute money to him you could be charged in the matter of the court case. It is best to UNFOLLOW this person now. Do not UPVOTE or TRANSFER any FUNDS to his account. Any money you send to this criminal can be traced back to you.

WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING

Yeah I know. I'm just lazy.

Quit being F0rcking lazy!

WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING

This person known on Steemit as @Haejin is WANTED by the SOUTH KOREAN GOVERNMENT for TAX ENVASION!!! They are coming after him. He has been reported to them & they know where he is. If you upvote this person & contribute money to him you could be charged in the matter of the court case. It is best to UNFOLLOW this person now. Do not UPVOTE or TRANSFER any FUNDS to his account. Any money you send to this criminal can be traced back to you.

WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING - WARNING

I appreciate a lot your work and efforts. I disagree with soooo many things you say, it will take me a full post to argue. I'll mention only a few:

  • the most irritating: it's called an UPVOTE button, butthead, NOT a LIKE button ! Get that simple thing into your krill-sized brain !
  • no, long-form post are shit, they are worse than misunderstanding people AND misunderstanding steemit, they are a slap-in-the-face to the very people that you try to appeal to. While you openly try to attract more eyeballs to read (and follow, and resteem and upvote you), subconsciously you are sending the opposite message: "You are all a bunch of retards who cannot focus on a long article and I despise you all and I despise myself for having to pimp myself to your UPVOTES" (NOT LIKES!). People enjoy short-form articles. Steemit is designed for short articles. That being said, I'm not better than you.

There's more but it's a waste to put it in a comment. Maybe I'll write a post about it later.

However, here's the scoop: I've "steemauto"-mated you ! That means I've instructed steemauto to give you an UPVOTE (not LIKE, retard!) on my behalf for every new article that you publish!

If nothing else, for the sheer effort of writing such long pieces of brain-juice. How cool is that ?
steemauto.PNG

I was just kidding, aside from the CVA that burned that patch where you distinguish between a LIKE and an UPVOTE - kaputt! - aside from that your brain is in fine fettle!

Mentioned this elsewhere, but I prefer long articles because while steemit may be more commonly used for short content, overall it fits my strategy better to write longer pieces because it makes it easier to display my fine fettle brain. Butthead

Beautiful, my friend
It seems really familiar words ..
interesting
Thanks for sharing

The only valuable comment is the top comment.

or this one, if you upvote it: #hijack-hijack

And the one below it.

Allright @yallapapi. I was the first in your Discord channel. Took some of your advice and went for it. 1484 words

Ha!

Footer2-final.png

fuck bro I'm not reading that shit it's too long


source wikipedia Pilot fish & Shark

Okay @yallapapi!


Now I read the whole article, (I had to go out to do shopping and such), I can relay to the "always deliver the same type of content", not only actors and writers get that also artists of all kinds, end up being a slave to "their own style"...

One good thing about writing long articles like you do is that people have to read them in two settings or more, this would render more views and you seam to like having many views...

Yeah I am a real sucker etc etc


And now I have returned to give you another view (for free).


Image source Remora/Suckerfish

If half of the people who read your articles do the same, "bookmark" your post and return, you should get a dramatic increase in views by writing long ,entertaining/addictive articles...

You need loyal fans/Pilot fish!


And I am not sure that you will be very popular amongst your school of "pilot fish" if you eat them (just saying, spreading some of your content into comments in your readers blogs might not be a total waste of time)...

I see now that you have 317 votes and 234 views...

I guess some people/bots are only in it for the curation bonus...

Stay mean sharky-boy!

Also for anyone interested don't check my blog, don't upvote and don't follow.

Hmm... you may be right. I should have said that commenting is a waste of time if you don't have any interesting content of your own. If you do and you leave a good comment, people are probably likely to check you out. Shit...

Might as well add a point on 'research your shit' in the next SharSchool post...

@yesaye
'research your shit'?

Yeah. See, after some thinking, turns out commenting has some benefits.

🍀 Yeah 🍀
Once I got like 5 SBD's in upvotes for a comment...

Yep. Gotta be good with words though, so not everyone is able to pull it off.

Good commenting is fun, and it leads to at least followers and readers, but yeah "Good post" comments are a real waste of time and space... Peace out!

Congratulations @friendly-fenix! You have received a vote as part of @friendly-fenix donation to this project.
I will be able to help more #minnows

Finally, the guy starts actually deserving his votes and writing with real quality.

But that’s way less fun for me, nu?

@yallabye

Walla lfamim ba lecha liyot retzini

Suddenly I have this intense need to get myself some haters.
@yallapapi, will you be my hater? (only after I get that 5 SBD though)

I agree with @dj123... I pretty much fuckin hate you too for no reason.there is no need to pay for it.. just go out there and express yourself.. and the haters will come. Especially on steemit.

Thanks namzke, for...hating.

This is as positive and grateful as saying glass is overflowing while it's actually empty. lol

You clown!

C'mon you can do better, I believe in you.

i hate you!

Yes!!! I suddenly feel my wallet bulging!

Oh no wait, that was something else.

Well I'll be honest, I read this while carrying a baby, so here goes. I like a few aspects that you touched on. Your system in fact resembles the checklist that we give out in college when students are submitting their final year research thesis. Of course, the focus there is more academic while yours is more creative.

I also like the part you mentioned on half complete articles. I keep a folder of half completed articles. They are ideas that I am not happy with, but hey, who knows? Inspiration may come and those half completed articles will turn out to be great pieces.

Pro comment

You mentioned comments, but you didn't mention people who leave a generic comment and then get it upvoted to the top to advertise their own profile.

I came up with the idea after reading segment #1 of Shark School, don't forget to upvote, share, and resteem your favorite comment squatter @kirkins

ezgif-1-52240e74fd.gif

Example of a good comment squat

What about those assholes that hijack the top comment?

Hang them all!

YEAH!

...no NO WAIT!

hilarious and demonic meme

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Today someone commented on my recent post and told me I sound like a female yallapapi. Rotflmao.

Lame comment complete! Illuminati confirmed.

LOL I'm not sure if that's a compliment or an insult

I said the same thing. Lmao! ;)

Forgive my audacity. I give very few shits. That being said, I appreciate the response. The only thing better for advertising than a hater is a supergroupie. 😀

Lol @omitaylor. I think I will be checking out your posts now to see if it’s true - I hope not ;0)

I'm slightly edgy. I think it's more that he is slightly like me. I was born ratchet. I'm trying to elevate. I hope I spelled that correctly. LOL rotfomalmnjfkdhffs #shitcomment.

I think it’s more that he is slightly like me

Roflmaostc!!

Post hijack! So anyway, how are you? Did I mention, I'm friendlier? He doesn't respond to me (even on Instagram) because it creates an air of superiority. I think it should be his next post— How to make other people think you're awesome when you're just regular. If he doesn't do it, then maybe I'll do it. Afterall, he's too superior to steal my ideas. Because that would mean I'm smart too. I'm hoping one day he and I can have a mutually dysfunctional steemationship. Meow.

See you around @simplymike. :)

Just go for it. I’m pretty sure yours would be funnier ;0)

@yallapapi getting burned in the comments like.

When did you message me on Instagram? I get a lot of messages and don't always have a chance to check them all.

Just about two week ago I commented over there, that's all. I don't use it much actually. Over there I'm brixboston100.

I also commented in the Discord before it got busy. I wanted to thank you because after following the some of your tips I got Curied. Some whales and devs also reached out to me about some of the ideas I presented on my posts.

Lastly, I was originally stunned by your blog ..."Even if you're an Autistic Bork" as I actually have Aspbergers, a son with Savantism and a HFADS daughter. I find your writing clever.

Thanks for responding. ♥️

@yallapapi
Man your articles are long, not a bad thing, (good content and capturing language etc) but I have to read them in two sittings, because basically they are like short "novellas", so this is my retarded comment. Not going to resteem because I don't think you can afford to pay 20 people a 1000 SBD's, since you probably need that money for, nah I am not even going to write what I think you need the money for, ha ha...
Keep the articles coming...
Cheers
/FF

I think once your articles get to a certain length, people will read them because they're genuinely curious. It's the "uniqueness factor" - if your content is unique, it will stand out and get attention.

As for having to read them in two sittings, that's fine. It's a lot of information and I don't expect people to instantly memorize everything just from the first read. Ideally it would be used as a reference.

I'm not sure "people" in general are curious. Most of them probably aren't, they are just animals programmed to reproduce and search food. By writing only for those people who are curious enough to come more than once to your posts you are stretching it. Isn't "bringing people together" (around good quality content) the point ? Are you familiar with that Hungarian with an impossible name, Mihaly Csikszentmihaly and the concept of "flow" ? You want to get your readers into "flow" and long form is not going to achieve that.

Yes I am familiar with that guy and his book. Very boring.

Also, I’m not trying to get my readers into flow. That is up to them when they decide to sit down and work.

And no, bringing people together is not the point either. These articles will exist on here allegedly forever. When I approach potential clients and solicit them for business, I can use them as a body of work to prove that I have enough knowledge to write 4500 words about a subject that is of interest to them. Copywriting, engaging with random people on the internet, plus a bit of sales. It’s likely that not even they will read the entire list but rather just scroll down to see how long it is. I’m fine with that.

But some people will be interested enough to read the entire thing, enjoy it and want to read more stuff I’ve written. They’ll be happy to find that all of my articles are extremely long and as long as they like my style they’ll stick around because they know they can depend on me for massive amount of quality (in their opinion) content.

Once people are hooked they might read the articles in one go. I am a slow reader, because I actually read and reflect over whats written, I just don't jump from key-point to key-point, but I am guessing that is what many people do, good job on the formatting by the way...

I know when people write "addictive page-turner books" they usually try to put a small "cliffhanger" in the end of each page.

Is this something that could be applied for internet writing?

Yep, that could be applied as well. In fact that’s the essence of writing sales copy. Use the current sentence to get the reader to read the next one. Very effective for selling products.

But if you don't have to turn an actual page, do you suggest one should put it a "cliffhanger" before the next paragraph? Cheers!

/FF

I usually just upvote and not comment on your posts. Then usually, I read your long posts, every word of them, but not today. Had to write my own post, which by your standards is too short. Here is really some great advice and wanted to mention it in a few words.

Well, this is the post I talked about, 440 words long for anybody interested.
https://steemit.com/memories/@mynlo.com/those-memories-in-your-head-why-it-is-a-good-idea-going-backwards-and-be-silent

P.S: For anybody who is a diary short, www.mynlo.com can help you out. There you can freely start improving your writing skills.

The post is long but it's worth it

I never read the post 🤘🏼♨️

Why? Hahaha

To many words
I just really like the picture
found it quite amusing 😂

True hahahaha it would be much better if there's a summary

I like how you speak on the HATERS‼️ I can remember when 50 cent use to hate on Rick Ross for being a Corrections Officer 🤦🏾‍♂️ Look at Ricky now 💷💶💴💵💸💰💎🤞🏾📈🚀♻️

Was going to go into it more but it was already too long. Maybe next time

😂LMAO...You're right, just skimmed my ass off.
Dude! You can Write!
You must be a very patient fellow or just extremely passionate about writing!
Nonetheless, keep them coming.

xoxo

I also type very fast and have a lot to say

Do you talk just as much? Usually those who write alot rarely have alot to say...speaking from personal experience 😛

Greetings from Nairobi,Kenya.
12.35pm

Only when I’m trying to sell a hair straightener. Or if for some reason I find myself on a date and I’m trying to get laid

Hahahaha!LMAO😂

Oh honey! Didn't you get the memo? Yappy dates is a No!No! On the contrary you'd be nowhere near getting laid...but probably women on the other side like it that way, here not so much😅

Seems to be working for me. Honey.

You sound like Mark Manson.

You mean Mark Manson sounds like me

yup he got some of those lines from mark

You read his book? I have it still packed nicely, sitting there waiting to be read by me. lol

As a writer, I often create some inspiration from my life, I can't help but have no inspiration and don't know what to write. I will do the same when I write songs. I really suggest going out for a long time. Maybe the inspiration will suddenly come. That Trump portrait is interesting.

Bush portrait

I'm really sorry, that looks too much like Trump, because Trump's hair always floats, yellow.

Dude seriously!? you need @tt for this, ROLF
but all that being said, once I got to the "my diary" part, your post started to get good, that first part is all rant.

once I got to the links I was kinda afraid to click because of the rants.

I know you have good info to offer, bc I read this post, and really wanted to see what this was all about, and it is good even with all the ranting, but what I really was looking for was an outline of how to write not what to write, so I starting thinking about what I wanted to write about and I figured out a pattern. I guess now I will have to figure out what I want to write about and how to best use my outline for writing.

Thanks for the post.

I myself proof read over and over again when I write, but my grammar and punctuation sucks.

How to write:

  1. Open computer
  2. Navigate to Steemit.com
  3. Click on the little pencil icon in the top right
  4. Click on the empty rectangular field
  5. Write a word
  6. Repeat #5 1500 - 5000 times

LMAO, that was awesome!
I wish my vote could pay. still I'll upvote your comment, bc it was that good!

"When I'm writing something, if I have to stop and think about what I want to say then that tells me that I'm on the wrong track. I believe it should all just flow out of you onto the screen. You can always go back and edit it later"

I have so many 1/2 done posts because I come up with it and it doesn't flow anymore. I feel like I could prepare more ahead but when the feeling leaves, it leaves.

4500 characters? Really? Does it seriously have to be that long? I'll be honest, once I get to a certain point it because like Charlie Brown's teacher. No offense, it's not what you are writing, it's just the length. 2500 words would be PLENTY. I would like to absorb what you are writing and I like your style.

We've become a nation of skimmers, it's a proven fact.

Good news? You could split everything in 2 and do twice as well.

I guess you don't read books.

Also, I'm against the whole, "split it into two posts." No. I am looking for people who will read the entire thing. If it's not interesting to them, they are welcome to take their pick from 99.9% of the rest of the content on this site. I would rather have 2 people read the entire thing than make the posts shorter to accommodate people with fractured attention spans.

I definitely read books for enjoyment and entertainment. When it's about business, it's about absorbing it all before your next post. My head is FULL on a daily basis but I like what you are saying, this is no offense to you. I like you no bullshit style.

I did read the entire post. It's not about fractured attention span to me, if I feel like I can get just as much out of it with less, I always appreciate that. I would like to really understand one part of it before moving on. I'm not stupid, I own my own business and it's been 19 years of self employment. I've done a TON of self-teaching and learning. It was just a suggestion, not an insult.

I assume Minnows are the ones who need #sharkschool . You may be superhuman and it does pour out of you.

Too long, it's a painful thing to read a so long post.

I hear Twitter has a character limit

Yes, Weibo has it too.

Hey Bitch,

Good post. I read the whole thing. I agree with you on writing long-form content. I'd also like to say that people should add some high quality photos as well that are relevant to your post.

I try to write my whole post in one sitting and then go back and proof read. I have noticed a huge decrease in people leaving shitty comments on my blogs and videos. Whenever I see those shitheads on other posts, I downvote their ass.

Nice message jackass. Hope to see more from you.

You can't stop the shitty comments. They're like zerglings

I don’t agree with what you say on commenting. Personally I think it is useful. Not for the financial rewards, but for the interaction itself.

Very often a comment on a post leads to an interesting discussion or just some fun social interaction with several other people. Top comment or no top comment. I think it depends on the network you’ve built for yourself...

Not a lot of new stuff in this one... except for the fact that you emphasize proof-reading, which I think is important.

Maybe if you wouldn’t be so focused on writing an awefully long article, getting ‘distracted’ all the time, you could write a shorter one in which you would actually make some good points.

It’s a shame you have built yourself an image you have to live up to. I think the ‘normal’ you could be a good tutor...

I don’t agree with what you say on commenting. Personally I think it is useful. Not for the financial rewards, but for the interaction itself.

Very often a comment on a post leads to an interesting discussion or just some fun social interaction with several other people. Top comment or no top comment. I think it depends on the network you’ve built for yourself...

I actually agree and should change that section. I think that if you're going to comment, you should have something interesting for the reader when they (ideally) click on your profile.

Maybe if you wouldn’t be so focused on writing an awefully long article, getting ‘distracted’ all the time, you could write a shorter one in which you would actually make some good points.

I prefer to write long articles. They tend to hold up better over time and are more enjoyable for me to write. I leave the "distraction" bits in there as sometimes they are relevant. Sometimes not.

Honestly, I could make the articles 200 words if I wanted to. I could have split this up into 10 different articles. But that's not what I'm going for. If it's too hard for some people to digest, well then I guess they'll just have to get their information from other sources.

It’s a shame you have built yourself an image you have to live up to. I think the ‘normal’ you could be a good tutor...

As we say where I'm from, "you can't put the shit back in the horse."

Some people agree with my points and enjoy my writing style. The rest of them are welcome to find other ways to spend their time.

See ? Just what I was saying in a previous comment above: you are secretly despising the vast majority of your readers, trying to select the best by writing posts that only the best readers can stand; and you are secretly hating yourself for being such a whore.

Lol brother it’s no secret. Pretty sure your country doesn’t have a law where individuals are forced to read my posts. If you like them, read them. If not, like I said you’re welcome to spend your time elsewhere. Some people enjoy the way I write and appreciate the work I put into them. I know that not everyone has the time or inclination to read everything I write when a new article comes out, just like I don’t watch a new episode of the walking dead as soon as it comes out. Sometimes I’ll binge watch ten of them in an afternoon when I’m in the mood.

That mainly applies to the people leaving 'nic post dear follow 4 fllow' I guess, cuz my comments are top notch and @yallapapi you better appreciate my comments, a'ight?

You could Subscribe to my blog 🤘🏼♨️

I could. But would I?

Wonderful post ..thanks for sharing...Best of luck friend ✫

this is the best bot for steembottracker clik here https://steemit.com/bots/@hassanbenali/the-best-bot-for-service-how-to-create-steem-bot-tracker

Transfer 0.200 SBD or 0.250 steem to @mrbean1 and put the link of your post in the public memo you get 5 good UPVOT and resteem by @mrbean1 +followers

Insert retarded comment here

Derp ♨️IMG_99m1p6.jpg

Hm, interesting... I actually don't agree with some of what you write, I do like the positive, hopeful posts! That helps me to deal with the darker aspects of life, while not letting my mind get darker at the same time.

Let us all go picking garbage at the freeway together, we might learn something from each other!

But I do like people that starts discussions!

Have a nice weekend!

Yallapapi is a phrase i would expect to hear from a latina prostitute #justsaying. Hey im gonna take any sentence from the middle of your post so you think i read it all.
...
Couldn't find it. Its something related with the "befriend your demon" stuff, i wrote something similar in my first steemit post about How to write (KNOW WHAT INSPIRES YOU).
Thanks for sharing your shit. If steemit can change, I hope it is to be used by people like you.

So far it's not looking good

The thing is, can i make money on steemit talking about something not related to cryptocurrencies, bots or facebook? I dont think so, and this is a serious limitation. Steemit is all about itself, and it gives popularity to those from which it can benefit from (you are not the exception because you atract people and make them want to work on their own accounts, because you speak with clarity, and that benefits Steemit). Will this ever change? Perhaps not, i will just take it as a good incentive to work on my writing skills to contribute on the Steemit cause. Later, if anything changes, maybe my older philosophy works will have a space in this media.

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Dude @yallapapi I love this post... you should be a steemit coach! it's definately your calling....

Just wanted to let you know I got my paint chips ahead of time so I could really focus on reading your post. I still lost attention span and wrote this crappy comment instead of finishing reading it.

My oats got cold while reading the first part about diaries and darkness...

goes back to skimming and eats cold oats with paint chips

Retarded comment

I find your writing to be very down-to-earth, unconventionally honest and frank and even though you don't attempt too much to cite any sources, your points come across as believable somehow. Is it that what you are saying mostly rings true to ones own experience and common sense? I need to read and consider in more detail all the points your are making. I enjoy the posts so far, and I am certain I will continue to do so.

I hope to bump into you on the discord to chew the fat a lot more! Cheers and thanks for doing this!

Thanks. That's actually what I was going for

It's refreshing - cuts through a lot of doodoo ;-) Although, I find it lengthy for this medium. I have seen others say the same thing - 'too long'. I think they mean too long for this medium.. because as a whole, the stuff is good - no doubt! Eespecially seen as we read one article then another within a short space of time here, people I think (maybe just me) want concise articles - bulletted, maybe in parts/installments.

I always chuckle while reading your tongue-in-cheek headings: they remind me a bit of something I posted - not sure you would agree - I call it sarcasm 2 months ago

Cheers mate! Looking forward to reading more.

Hey yallapapi, yep, even when you think you're writing a shit post, I'm still hooked. I love how straight up you are, and believe it or not, I found this post very helpful actually. I like how you detailed your process for doing a post (I'm all about logistics and it's nice to see step-by-step). I've thought about doing the whole thing of creating a title after a work is written, that definitely makes more sense when you explain it the way you do.
And ya know what? Your'e awesome, and it seems maybe you need to hear that sometimes.
Best to you. I'm gonna check out the rest of your sharkschool. (At first I wasn't, cuz I've noticed everyone thinks they can do courses and online schools, but then I was like, eh, I really like this dude, let's give it a read)
Anyways, see ya!

Good luck

i enjoyed reading your post.jpg

Very informative, full of good ideas, and a bit too long for my taste, but still great ! :-)

This post is damn long @yallapapi and I surely didn't read it all yet I couldn't get enough of the little I read

quite interesting... lots to read to find a reply button, I like it : )

Hello @yallapapi,there are so many bots in steembottracker.com,which ones specifically do you use?

This was mostly shit, but I picked a few lessons. Like, consistency and honesty is key. So, well,thanks.

This is one of the reasons why I like going to steemit.com
Just to read your posts. This shit is addicting!

images.jpg

I just read all of it and would have left a loooooong comment for 5sbd.

But.

A wise man once said, "commenting is a waste of time," and I thought I won't write one, but then I realized, that was for commenting on posts made by 0.01$ hunting nobodies(is that even a word?)

The truth is, I'm stuck now. I tried to write a long comment and now I don't know what to write. And frankly at this point I should probably delete all of this and log out, but let's see how much bullshit I can put out on a single comment.

So where was I? Ah, yes. Long comments. I myself hate to see comments saying "nice post", or "very informative" and more often than not, I flag them.

I have also seen people spinning a comment made by someone else and pasting that spinned up shit in a comment in the same darn post! Talk about laziness! But then again, these are the same 0.01$ hunters who don't seem to change even after their accounts have been flagged to oblivion.

Now that I have rambled on about comments, I'll try to write up something genuine about this post.
Ready?

This post is long and very well formatted and even after being so long it held my attention to the last word. And you're telling me I can do the same by vomiting 1000 words a day in a diary? I believe you,so I'll give it a shot.

It's funny that I didn't know what to right when I started writing this comment but have churned out this much bullshit about not knowing what to write. Irony?

I'll just end this now but thank you @yallapapi for making this post. I did actually learn a lot from it and would try my best to implement it from now on.

Your posts are weirdly motivational. I say weirdly because they don't have the usual 'your creative genius is within you' message. The message I'm getting is: cut the crap and write. Which is what I desperately need to do. Except for some reason I'm writing this comment instead of working on my cringy short story for a steemit writing contest due to end like NOW.
Guess I broke rule number 13.

Also, just to be annoying, on your first point I believe the word you're looking for is "authenticity". I know that's literally a synonym for genuineness but it just sounds better :P

Okay off to write my story now.

Also, just to be annoying, on your first point I believe the word you're looking for is "authenticity". I know that's literally a synonym for genuineness but it just sounds better :P

Yes, authenticity...I don't know why I couldn't think of that word.

Your posts are weirdly motivational. I say weirdly because they don't have the usual 'your creative genius is within you' message. The message I'm getting is: cut the crap and write.

Yep. Grant Cardone is the one who opened my eyes. Highly recommend you check out his two most famous books, the 10x rule and Be Obsessed Or Be Average. Best motivational/business books ever.

Hey man, I know you're not going to see this, but I just thought that I should mention it anyway :)...

This was an awesome article! One of the best ones I read this week! That's why I decided to mention this article in my Top 3 Steemit Articles Of The Week-post!

Congratulations on your award :)! If you want, you can contact me, and I'll buy you a cookie someday!

PS. Keep up the great work :)!

-Crypto Kid

Gotta respect the casual shill.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Chocolate chip.

Here for the $0.01 upvote

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