The building of tools is necessary and I wish that we had a culture that was better at encouraging them. The problem that I have with some usage of therapy though is that it can get in the way of building and instead becomes a crutch with an ever decreasing barrier for further usage. I think it can be highly beneficial used well though, as @bigtom13 mentioned in the post comment thread.
I also sometimes wonder if at least sometimes, it is best if we really taste rockbottom before seeking help. I think there is a purity in it that builds a deeper understanding of why we must find a way off the floor. And for sure, we are all different in what we can manage at any given time. It is good to test our resilience often enough though, to make sure it is in working order.
Thank you so much for stopping by with your thoughts :)
I know that after mum died a couple of years ago, I went to therapy cause no matter how proactive I was in life and how hard I tried, everything I touched turned to crap.Yeah you're right, aswell as @Bigtom too.
I'm not going to say that I hated the therapy, but I found it to be absolutely useless and it made me even more angry and frustrated and then thankfully I met a woman who introduced me to another woman who gave me the most simplest exercise to do and I took that one lesson, that one exercise and continued it on myself for a few consecutive days afterwards, then a few times the following week and I can't tell you how much better I feel and how fast I became better after that.
So I know on the surface I looked fine, but inside I knew that I was almost at rock bottom cause I'm, a truly resilient person and knew that if I couldn't get though it myself, then I really did need a helping hand.
I also mentor a small group of mental health consumers (sufferers) in video and just a couple of days ago I was witness to one who had unwittingly clicked on a link and downloaded himself some spyware/ransomware into his phone and was constantly on the verge of a meltdown even though I was helping him fix everything- which is when I said last comment that We're all wired a little differently and so someone's perception of 'nothing' is another person's unintentional implosion and another person's intentional love of drama and semantics- he was the unintentional implosion and I share my apt with a 'normal' intentional drama queen...
Having the right tool in the right hands. I think this is why some therapists don't work for some people, while another does.
We have a lot of different triggers that can set us off and it might seem very slight to some, but be a massive point for another. In some way, it is kind of like phobias - I am scared of heights, but another person can walk a beam on a skyscraper unphased - they might be deathly scared of snakes though :)
I hate to butt in, but.
When I quit drinking I had to hit the absolute floor. I'd been sent to counseling, knew the dangers and problems I faced, but until I was left without options I couldn't change. I don't know that my bottom had any purity in it, but it was damn sure certain effective. 30 years later I still remember that hopelessness...
Is that a cigarette pun? :D
And I think this is why it is good for everyone to experience it - as to survive it proves something to the person that lives on for a lifetime.
Ah, and yeah - I think sometimes therapy gives a cushion or safety net that stops people feeling the cold of bedrock - but they think they know the worst of it.
You can butt in anytime @Bigtom, you know me and that's what we're all here for isn't it- to talk, to learn to share and discuss.
And that's another thing too, you're absolutely right- most people won't/don't want to change until they absolutey have too.
I didn't stop smoking my very tasty rollies until I had my first heart attack at 38...so I think that it's the slap in the face that people need- the big wake up call...tough love some call it...