I've worked long and hard to get to where I am on the proverbial corporate ladder. Years and years of taking shit, smiling when I want to cry, and general dogs-bodying-around. So when I say I have earned my position of Taking No Shit Boss Lady, you best believe me.
I know some people think management is all meetings, lunches and high salaries. (Yeah, poor me, right?!) Not that I ever take lunch, but moving swiftly on. It's hard work, this boss lady thing.
This weekend I was faced, for the second time in the last six months, with a hard decision. A moral dilemma if you will.
I have been working in my current company for four years, and was employed as a sales person, and quickly jumped up to buyer/management. When you work in a small company like mine (15 employees including the boss), and see the same people all day, every day, you quickly become close-knit. In my shop, we are a team, we are family. We have seen one of our colleagues loose his his four year old daughter to Malaria. We have seen the birth of three precious babies. We have had two engagements and one wedding.
So this weekend, when I was faced with this moral dilemma, I was feeling all kinds of emotions. I was angry, upset, disappointed and sad.
We had a huge film shoot booked at my shop. We often have huge shoots here, this one in particular was a BBC production. If you have ever been on a film set, you will know that it is INTENSE! BBC had booked my shop for almost 36 hours, and there were people crammed into ever corner.
They had been at the shop for about 12 hours, and it was just after the change of shifts of my team. I was on my way somewhere close, and I thought I would pop in to see how things were going.
I found the big shot producer from BBC,said hi, and asked how all was going. He was very happy with everything, but pulled me aside to say that one of my guys had been drinking. How fudging embarrassing.
I went to investigate and speak the accused, and sure enough, he was quite sozzled. I gave him a talking to, stormed out and jumped in my car. After some consideration, I went back in to send him home. When I went into his section to find him, he was not there, but guess what was. A big bottle of brandy.
This means that not only had he drank before work, which, in my opinion is not good, but is excusable to a certain point, but that he planned to drink through out his overnight shift.
I WAS LIVID.
BBC had paid us a fat fee to use our location, and besides this, I had out this guy in charge. I crapped him out some more, confiscated the brandy and left.
Over the weekend, my anger at him subsided, and my worry for him increased. You see, there is a strict company rule that any employee caught drinking or doing drugs is to be immediately dismissed on the spot. My guy knew that. SURELY he knew that.
Now the ball was in my court, and it was up to me to decide if I would tell the big boss, and take the risk of this guy loosing his job.
I was angry at him for putting me in this position. I would hate to have him fired, and also hate to be the one who caused his dismissal.
I couldn't stop thinking about it all weekend. My moral compass was spinning way off course, and I was feeling physically ill.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN MY POSITION? AND WHAT DO YOU THINK I DECIDED TO DO?
Let me know in the comments your thoughts, and what you think I did. I will be making another post tomorrow with the answer.
Thats certaintanly a tough one - I too years ago was a store manager of a large busy shop with as yourself a close knit team - one day I had a strong feeling a team member was stealing - I Froze - I watched for a couple of days and with sad dissapointnent after watching and checking I was sure :( ... very very upsetting - I could not believe it especially as I had invested a lot of hours coaching, helping this team member both with work training and with personal dilemmas - it broke my heart to let them go. I did it I hope with respect & as kindly as I could. I made sure the next morning the rest of the team were briefed in a professional yet strong way, letting them know that it dissapointed not only me but that it had let them down also - but sadly stealing was not acceptable.
Your dilemma did not involve stealing or taking from the company, however it has let you and the team down - hopefully it hasn't spoiled relationship with the BBC for you.
In answer to your question I think you will try to speak to the team member - to drink like this on the job maybe some personal underlying sad problem - why would someone risk this ... I think you will give a second chance once spoken to them?
Or maybe I'm now a big softie as I get older or maybe wiser to look deeper - I think you will too ?? Look forward to see your ending
Sonic Sonny 💁🏻
What an amazing response. I think it was pure silliness that made him drink at work, he definitely doesn't have a problem.
I'll be making a post tomorrow with my actions, and the results there of!
I look forward to it ... I think we all will
Goodnight from London
💁🏻
That's a tough one. You sure wouldn't want that to happen again... not really excusable that it happened at all, especially on a big shoot like that, but I admire your compassion and wanting to make a level-headed choice. Good luck with your decision. Deep breaths.
thanks babe. I think I also do take everything very seriously and personally at work, and so when stuff like this happens - I die.
You are right though - it must not happen again, and by overlooking it or not doing anything, I am taking the risk of that.
I'll be making a post tomorrow with what i decided, and the results of my actions
This is truly a dilemma. In your shoes, I would look at the big picture: has he done this sort of thing before? He could be having personal issues and turned to the bottle for solace.
I think you should give him a stern talking-to and perpharps a suspension or slight salary cut to further drive home your point, but I don't think you should fire him just yet.
Also, since you said you all are closely knitted, you could maybe try to find out if anything is wrong, or get someone else to if he'd be a little uncomfortable opening up to the boss lady.
I agree! I definitely DO NOT want him to be fired. Unfortunately, if i tell my boss what happened, the decision is with the boss.
I have a meeting with him tomorrow. Quite nervous!
@princessmewmew as a leader it is tough to make decision on occasion like this. There is management rule, but one need to applies wisdom to rules and making decision with judgement sometimes. Everyone deserve a second chance, who knows maybe you can be agent of change to his life. You can affect his life, so give him a second chance and talk to him. He has a psychological issue so you need to advice him off work time. Hope you find my advice helpful. @princessmewmew
Yeah it is rough to be a leader... I was so out of joint the whole weekend. I don’t know if he has a problem, but I actually couldn’t believe the lack of care.
nice article,,,
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thanks for sharing..
@princessmewmew
This is such a serious issue. First of all, you must say something and it must be addressed. The real question is, how long has this been going on? If he is a valued worker and someone you still want around, then you approach it from the point of getting him help. He then has the ball in his court, get help or you will be asked to leave. His decision will give you the answer you are looking for. How do you think the big boss will react? It's not your fault and therefore you just have to do the right thing. I hope things work out well.
It’s the first time I have caught him drinking on the job. And he’s a star player at work. Often has massive hangovers though - although I don’t think he a problem, I think he likes to part though. 😂
I know the right thing to do would be to tell the big boss. That’s why it’s eating me
Maybe you have a serious chat with him only first. Give him a warning? Only problem with that is if something else ever happens you would have not shared a previous incident with the boss. Not an easy situation for you. At the end of the day, protect yourself.
I understand your point of view perfectly ... listen, in my country, firing someone is very difficult, almost the only cause of dismissal is that they find you stealing. the cases as well as the one that you live only remains as a warning of which if you accumulate 3 in a month the boss can dismiss the worker. My point is that, it would be best to speak with the employee and explain the consequences of that situation being repeated. consequences that could be the dismissal
Greetings from Venezuela.
thanks so much for your advice. The issue for me is that it is such a BIG rule for us, and I know that he knew.
Mhmmm....it is a tough situation.I can't wait to read what did you do...Unfortunately, I cant answer your questions. Its super delicate and we all have different ways of thinking, based on the actual situation, facts, emotions, rules from work, etc. It's subjective....I know you did the right thing, you couldnt do the other way! your heart and mind told you what to do, I'm sure of it! Hugs :(
thank you for your kind support. I am making a post tomorrow with the rest of my story
Its my joy , trying to be "helpful"... Just sending you my good thoughts! :x
If it's a one time act and no harm occurred, I'd overlook it. But if it's something he does all day long I'd be the ugly most hated boss and report him. Because if that is the case and you don't, it may come back to bit you in the ahx.
Yeah, you are right! But the honesty stick in my brain is not letting me sleep.
Ohhhh. Well. Had he ever been warned about his drinking? Is this the first time? Where was he when you found the bottle?
I suspect I'd either take him to the boss or can him myself, which ever is appropriate to your situation. Cause I'm going to guess this wasn't his first time at the rodeo since he brought a bottle with him.
Not that I thought about it much before I sobered up, but after I had damn little tolerance for people drinking/doping at work. I had the opinion that I am entitled to work in a safe environment and a drunk colleague can represent a danger to me.
Now I'm waiting to see what you did.
you are so right. it is dangerous to others, but mostly to our reputation, and to himself. Next week is salary reviews, and I can't see this being positive for him
I feel you @princessmewmew. I know I have a lot of patience and empathy for people and their shortcomings but for me at least Rules are Rules. And he knew the low down on what would happen.
Of course it does not hurt to see if he may need help with a drinking problem outside of work. But I think I would exercise the Rules of your Employment in this case ( if it were me)
You are very right. Rules are rules. And it is unfortunately my duty to report this. And as you say - he did know what would happen, yet he still took the risk!
Oh my...
Ok, since I've been the boss of my own company and I had issues with employees [not drinking per se, but similar], probably initially I would talk. Like a very serious 'threatening' talk. I would give one chance - we all slip sometimes. But then, that would be it for me. If he did it again, 'you're out mister'...
yup! and so I would so the same if it was my company... But it's not, and I feel the obligation to tell the boss so he can feel free to make that decision.... :(
If he gets fired, it is because of what he did. If you do not do your job you should get fired... or lose your boss' trust, or...
Do your job. Him getting into trouble may be what he needs to sober up and that may save his life. Don't be an enabler!