... maybe you should!
A friend of mine is going thourough a very stressful period in her life. She's having a hard time relaxing and sleeping, she worries all the time, she can't focus at work. She tried everything: sleeping better, meditation, seeing a therapeut. Nothing really worked.
Sleeping was just a way of avoiding the problems and wasn't really restful.
Meditation is not useful when you can't focus on your breathing for even a minute. It takes time, she needs a solution NOW.
Therapy is good until the guy suggests pills. I think that's extreme and I am not a big fan of using pills that fast. Neither is she!
I told her: do negative visualizations every morning. Think of the worst things that could happen today. Focus on them until they're real. Then start your day.
She looked at me like I was crazy!
I wasn't surprise, it's not the first time I'm trying to convert people to my life philosophy: Stoicism.
Before I start to sound like a Jehova's Witness, please know that Stoicism is a very misunderstood philosophy but one that it can totally make your life better. There's a book that explains it pretty good, one that I read a chapter now and then to remember the good parts but in essence the BIG question that the book asks and what the Stoics kind of answered 2000 years ago is: What makes a good life?
Because you see, the answer is not simple at all.
Whatever is it that you want, lust for, hope for it will soon not be enough anymore. It's crazy but the stoics had a great insight: Human beings are insatiable. They always want more and more and more. That means there's no limit or boundary to our WANTS and no way to actually quench them. They concluded that wanting STUFF is never the answer...
...in fact the answer it eliminate or minimize this insatiability. Before you run to the comment section to tell me that this is either impossible or unwanted or stupid or "why do you hate capitalism" or other variations let me just say that this does not mean that you'll become a neutral robot who wants for nothing. In the words of MrMoneyMustache, who has a good post about the same book:
Stoicism, in short, is a series of mental techniques and ways of life that allow you to decrease and then virtually eliminate all negative emotions such as anger, fear, anxiety, and dissatisfaction, while simultaneously building up a tide of pure Joy inside you that eventually starts to make you jump around and boogie at unexpected moments, and occasionally shout out “AHH YEAH!!” as discreetly as possible to yourself when the Joy overflows.
That does sound too good to be true but it is what a Stoic works towards. There are two big ideas in Stoicism that might seem obvious but for the life of me, people seem to forget them all the time:
Some thing we can control, some things we can't control. Focusing on the latter is stupid.
It's not about wanting, it's about enjoying what you already have.
One of the technique and solutions is: NEGATIVE VISUALIZATION.
Essentially this means you should visualize on losing all you have, imagine the life as a cripple and or variations of this. To quote from the book:
[The Stoics] recommended that we spend time imagining that we have lost the things we value—that our wife has left us, our car was stolen, or we lost our job. Doing this, the Stoics thought, will make us value our wife, our car, and our job more than we otherwise would. This technique—let us refer to it as negative visualization—was employed by the Stoics at least as far back as Chrysippus. It is, I think, the single most valuable technique in the Stoics' psychological tool kit.
Seneca describes the negative visualization technique in the consolation he wrote to Marcia, a woman who, three years after the death of her son, was as grief-stricken as on the day she buried him. In this consolation, besides telling Marcia how to overcome her current grief, Seneca offers advice on how she can avoid falling victim to such grief in the future: What she needs to do is anticipate the events that can cause her to grieve. In particular, he says, she should remember that all we have is "on loan" from Fortune, which can reclaim it without our permission—indeed, without even advance notice. Thus, "we should love all our dear ones . . ., but always with the thought that we have no promise that we may keep them forever—nay, no promise even that we may keep them for long." . . .
It sounds dire, I know.
It is hard too. When you start doing these things, it feels a lot like tempting faith. But on further analysis, negative visualization will do a lot of good for the good Stoic.
In my view, it's a way to become unattached to your wants, possessions, loved wants...while similarly appreciate them more than ever. It's a beautiful backward technique.
The Stoics were really ahead of their time and the science we have today seems to point in their direction. The "think good things" and good things will happen movement is losing ground fast and that can be the alternative. The serenity that a Stoic philosophy can bring to your life is quit astonishing. I am certainly not there yet but I do recognize that getting annoyed, angry and frustrated are choices. That worrying about losing the people dear to me or something I hold dear is an anxiety that is not needed, time better spent appreciating and enjoying what I do have, now.
Again, this is not easy at all. Appreciating and living in the now, not WANTING when we are bombarded by ads that tells us we should want is difficult in today's world. It's also a way to step sideways and look at the bigger picture. No, that new perfume won't make all the ladies love you( though you might smell nicer, but you already do) and no that car won't get you at the table with the most powerful people or impress anyone worth impressing ( but sure, get it if you can afford it and it's what you need ).
It's important to understand that stoicism is not a way to be a passive member of society, or a passive observer of life as it passes. It's the opposite: the capability to live life fully, to be fully present, to influence what YOU CAN and let the rest play out as it should.
It's cool to see that the ancient Stoics really walked the walk. For example, Seneca's life, quoted above, "took a sharp turn in 41 A.D. once Claudius became the emperor as he exiled Seneca to the island of Corsica on the premises of supposed adultery with Julia Livilla, the emperor’s niece and Caligula’s sister. During his exile, he wrote a letter to his mother consoling her during his exile". You can read more here.
I guess I sounded and may still sound like a loony. We want to do our best NOT to worry and NOT to think of the bad stuff that could befall us. We certainly don't want to start our day facing these fears...I get it. But as with many things, doing it the hard way seems to get the most benefits, some more unexpected than others.
I also think you'll enjoy this comic more now that you read this post.
I have written about something the same couple of days ago. It's a modern method of overcoming fear, anxiety and other neurotical disorders.
Checkout blog post on Steem https://steemit.com/life/@freedomnation/what-is-paradox-of-intention-and-why-should-you-try-it-by-freedomnation-201764t1727150z
loved it! followed and upvoted :)
I went through an Kundalini experience for 6 months on my alchemical journey. It was the hardest months in my life, psychosis and full dissociation from the world.
Tell your friend that she will come out of this stronger and wiser than ever.
If she believes in better she will get out of the situation.
wow. I tried some basic kundalini yoga and it was such a strange experience for me too. you're tough, man!!
Thanks for the remark ^^
I wouldn't recommend abusing kundalini practices.
I'm really not ready for stuff like that. But I do find them fascinating. My idea of pushing my limit is going on a vapassana retreat next year.
Well I've never heard of this idea before but thanks for sharing. The one thing I wish people could be is a bit more open minded. I don't know if this works, I'm not sure if I would want to try it as it seem's to grate against my beliefs but I also understand we are run by our beliefs. So however much I may or may not believe it I can research it further and make my mind up then.
I like these kind of posts because theyre the hardest to do as you know most people will be a bit wary of it. But that's how we evolve and progress as human beings. By looking closer at the things we might not understand. There are so many things out there which people don't believe but in which there are studies and research that show some of these could very well be real ie qi or chi. So thanks again for putting out this post.
This is very interesting @razvanelulmarin I have never heard of negative visualization . In fact we are always told that we should be positive and only have positive thoughts. Everything is in the mind I believe ..If you think something will help then it will even it is sounding crazy !
Positive thinking had failed me times without number.
I could be completely wrong, but I think I read somewhere that people who practice stoicism as a lifestyle do negative visualizations regularly. Oh wait, it was right here! :-)
:)))))
99% of the things we worry about never happen....so why do we worry about things that will never happen....
easier said than done...
Really makes you think, doesn't it!
yeap!
Many people have different thoughts but I think your way of thinking is amazing and different. I really like your post and completely agree with you MATE.
that's a nice compliment! thanks a lot!!!
I like your post!
Our life is nothing more than a line connecting infinitely the small dots of happiness we come across. When I am desperate I just let go, just stop thinking and it works... for a while, grounding oneself into NOW is easier said than done. We all suffer from anxiety and uneasiness but the secret is to let go and be grateful for the good things in our lives, the only obstacle is our ego.
:) you sound like a man who read some Tolle. I agree!
Finally I found name for what I have been doing for years. Thank you. My mother had a favorite saying, "Expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised." She was always thrilled with whatever.. I hate to say it but the worst thing can happen at any moment... death of the material body. Learning to live in the face of that means reaching for a higher consciousness. Who am I that is inside this body thinking how the body can die at any moment?
I'm glad all this resonates with you!
Huh? What a bitter truth. I lost most I have but acceptance of the the reality keeps me going.
"Is this what I so feared?"
I love that you referenced Mustachianism! Haha Pete is a great writer. Tim Ferriss has some great material regarding stoicism as well. Thanks for sharing this, really important ideas!
oh for sure! I actually discovered recently but tim ferris long time fan and his last book "tools of titan" changed my life...
Haven't actually read it, but it's basically the podcast which i'm addicted to haha
Thanks for sharing the story. I was worth reading it.
that means a lot to me!!
Ohh like amazing reaaly
thanks!!!
Negative visualization makes a great deal of sense when you break it down like that. Processing through negative emotions before they happen would make a person more prepared to deal with them when/if they come. And I'd like to think it would allow someone to live and let live, instead of staying in a constant state of anxiety.
Appreciating what you have can require a bit of imagining what it would be like to lose it.
Great post, thanks for sharing!
so glad you enjoyed it. You summed it up quite nicely!
I don't think this is such a great idea. You can actually manifest your negative thoughts into reality. Maybe thats why I've never heard of a Stoic because they willed themselves out of existance. LOL
I always tell myself that life could be so much worse, in literally almost any situation I'm in life could be so much worse! Life's good y'all :)
"Single Day, Single Event" from Epictetus' passage:
Very interesting as I've always lived by the idea of thinking positive thoughts.
Thank you for this good thought provoking post.
I have experienced excessive stress because of my chaotic parents relationship, my father and mother always quarreled because of trivial things until I could not listen to their quarrel even then I did not eat and did not go out.@zuljalalil
My approach to life is hope for the best, expect the worst. And when I don't know what to do (which is often), I don't do anything! It seems I am a 'stoic' by default!
It could help, but not if you exaggerate.
Good read.
Good stuff here. Definitely like the idea of thinking the worst and being happy when it's not so bad. Me, myself, I like to drink and then wax poetic about the nature of reality. Really enjoyed your piece. Maybe you'll like mine...? Check it out if you're interested: https://steemit.com/writing/@jhermanbeans/mr-robot-and-shades-of-grey-a-drunken-discussion-on-our-reality
Visualization is very powerful. Positive vibes too all !!!:)
I think it is not possible to think only good things. Good and bad exist together, just a good understanding and no attachment to good or bad will make our life happier.
Simply put! The summary of the whole writeup.
Thanks friend for sharing this amazing technique, would definitely try it out soon :)
very interesting. Never thought of this. I am still hasitant, but I migth try it.
this is actually not too far off the experience of people who have actually lost anything of importance, such as health, job, loved one. You are left with a negative situation, where the only thing left to choice is your own response.
I have never considered negative visualisation, with your explanation it sounds very plausible and worth a try. I would have thought before reading that the law of attraction might attract more negative things to you. But if you imagine the worse and get it out of your system, I can see how the rest of the day would turn out great.
frst steem post with philosophy tag, i am drunk param pam pam ;)
1 if you have a problem and it is solvable then you have nothing to worry about
2 if you have a problem and it is unresolvvable you have nothing to worry about
N = XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX you have nothing to worry about
(© Dalai Lama)
Nothing at all.
Wow! We learn everyday. The philosophy I heard from one of my friends is: Always prepare for the worst and hope for the best - Pronto!.