I was listening to a podcast today and the person/guest (Swedish) was saying how the words I love you (said in Swedish) are very powerful in meaning and are 'never' used flippantly. The context was that when she went to America it was said all the time, not just to convey the deep and powerful emotions felt between people who truly love each other; family members, spouses and so on. She said that, in English, the words don't (to her) have the same powerful meaning as they do when spoken to, and by, her in Swedish. Interesting right? Language is such a defining factor in different cultures.
I don't think I'd say it to anyone I didn't truly love, I'm a man after all and these days saying things can be fraught with danger (and repercussions) but in your case it seems well-placed and knowing you as I do I know it was also well-intentioned.
I hope you're well.
Do you say it to family? I'd say that is the big distinction between using it for a romantic partner and anyone else. My parents know I love them. I always say it anyway though, almost as some sort of respectful bonding phrase, like this is my acknowledgment that we have a unique bond- in this world of people, you are mine.
That respectful bonding phrase, like a code word for you are my people is how it gets passed around to someone outside the traditional family. Not just anyone, but someone that is tried and true and now being included into the realm of you are my people. That's how I look at it.
I can see how that Swedish person can view the phrase as flippant here. What comes to mind is a stoned hippie saying I love you man. Some people must toss it around a lot, although I can't think of anyone I know that does, other than maybe that five-year-old I mentioned. Ha. Outside of my immediate family, and person in this post, I can think of only one other I say it to - another old friend. I think maybe it is more of an uncomfortable phrase for Americans than readily thought. Many people have difficulty saying it to anyone.
Genders do play a role for sure. As a woman I have more freedom with my words in so many scenarios, this being one. If the roles were reversed he is far less likely to say it because it would be construed as romantic. I know by our interactions he understood that it meant my son and I have adopted him. If he said it, I could see some confusion. It's great to be a woman :)
I surely do yes, especially with my niece and nephew when our video chats - I tend to say what I feel so it feels normal for me.
I get what you say about the my people thing. In the military it's used a lot actually, certain parts of the military and between certain people...it's not seen as romantic of course, it's an acknowledgement of the brotherhood and is a powerful statement used when appropriate. I think there's many uses for it, but it should be used with care.
Your last paragraph...a better explanation of what I was trying to say, unsurprising considering your legitness and my knuckleheadiness. I guess, at the end of the day, one needs to decide what's appropriate at the time and hope it's received in the right way.
How about we take turns being legit and knuckleheads? I can definitely pull both off - I'm chockful of moments of brilliance and idiocy. Kind of a yin yang thing - you can be a knucklehead today and I'll be one tomorrow. It would be kind of interesting to have a set label for the day, like, today I have a free pass to do crazy stupid things; and tomorrow I've got it altogether again, but I can trust in getting to throw everything to the wind the following day. And as teammates (I promise I won't say any weird platonic I-love-you's) we could check in on each other. I'd be scanning your page like It's his knucklehead day, and I see that comment was not flippant enough. Tisk, tisk.
Now, if we are counting this post as my legit day (which is open for debate) then my next one is knuckleheaded and I'm already pretty excited about the idea. I'm thinking up-close pictures of dog noses with explanations of why they are the cutest things on earth. Damn it I'm so excited about this it almost seems legit, but I've got to be careful not to blend criteria.
Good lord I just wrote two paragraphs on that. You really shouldn't get me started;)
Share 'legitiosity and knukleheadness'?
Let me think on it for a nanosecond. Great plan!
I like the balance it provides, and, dare I say it, the opportunity that it presents. You see, on a knucklehead-day one may choose to go full-knuckle and instead of being an actual knucklehead, one may indeed be legit instead. I mean, legit on knucklehead day? Does it get any knuckleheadier? Methinks not.
Methinks also that one should use methinks more often.
Let's confirm that tomorrow is your knucklehead day although considering your tomorrow is actually my yesterday because of the time difference I have no clue what's going on...This, when today is my knucklehead-day...seems to fit right?
So, legit knuckleheaded teammates we are...I'll look forward to your dog-nose post and if any platonic I love you's spring forth let's just hope they're on the knucklehead-day of the one who says it...that makes everything ok.
Tomorrow (or today now that it is midnight) is American Thanksgiving, and I've just cleaned my entire house and made three pies - pumpkin, walnut, and cranberry. They are pieces of art and I want to stare at them lovingly for ages. The same with my clean house. I just want to bask in its complete cleanliness.
Oh I like the sound of full-knuckle. I can see myself accidentally cutting off the end during a bout of hyperactive speed talking, and turning it into full-knuck. Which sounds sort of like an Australian bird I've never heard of, and I like that too - methinks it could work to remind me to stay on task.
This comment has been a stream of consciousness but I'm not backspacing. Too tired for that. Clearly this was my knuckleheaded day, cleaning a house and making pies...what a crazy idea. I'm going to bed :)
Teammates of legit knuckles. I like the sound of that too. It makes us sound like the mafia or something.
Happy thanksgiving, I hope you folks have a really nice time and I'm not annoyed at all at the fact I'll not get any pumpkin pie...or walnut, and not at all annoyed that I'll be cranberry pieless. Ok, I'm not not annoyed...I'm annoyed! But that's ok, I'll struggle through my pieless state somehow.
Just so you know, I'm thankful to have met you, my full-knuck friend from FL.
#fullknuck #legitknucks #pieless
I think the cranberry was actually my favorite. It had a nice tart bite, balanced by a sweet crust. The lovely pink color, like an embarrassed flamingo, or maybe the inside of a ripe red grapefruit, or a hundred other pink comparisons, was a nice touch.
Thank you. I'm thankful to have met you too, my full-knuck Australian. Look at you, you even know how to abbreviate Florida like an American.