It's been a grey day today. Grey skies, cool light, washed out clouds, rain. A heart that's struggling amidst the grey. Yesterday I made the mistake of going online and reading about our government's response to India's COVID crisis, which was to basically ban all flights from that country. Remember we have many Australian citizens who live there, and that have been trying to come back for some time. There's debate in this country about who is Australian, especially in terms of who is given help in times of crisis. If you've been to India, you risk a huge fine if you try to get into the country. That wasn't an issue with Americans, or the British, or Europeans. Being of Indian appearance doesn't make you eligible to be saved, it seems. Oh yes of course - we have a virus that we're all terrified of, and we don't want to be overrun with it like they are. But that's been the case all along. Why abandon Australians of Indian birth or heritage? It's just another devastating reminder not to go online and read about things that I can't control, like over 170 kids stranded in India without their parents.
When you're heart's struggling a little, other things can seem even worse. Last weekend I fell off my bike. The bike I'd vowed I wouldn't ride since the last time I fell off it (that did involve a demijohn of blackberry wine and a hedge, granted). After sitting under a tree for half an hour hoping no one saw this shameful show of inelegance, and trying not to throw up, I managed to get through to the hubs to pick me up, basketful of broccoli and silverbeet and all, swapped at the Food is Free stall for a handful of eggplant..
The bruise that immeditately flushed on my skin became purple, yellow and black, and a little green too. I do bruise easily. The pain subsided somewhat, and five days later, I had a beautiful surf at my favourite break in unexpected sunshine. The sky was the same colour as my bruise, but the sun managed to dance in the clouds and cut through the darkness for a blessed few hours. I felt no pain.
Yesterday, two days after the surf, I could no longer ignore the bruise as every time I touched it, I'd get a feeling that was halfway between an electric shock and a burn. A strange feeling. I remembered the fall and the strange wiring in my brain that found it exquisite, almost orgasmic for a moment. Like the pain of an orgasm. The brain can deal with pain messages in odd ways, but I'm not a fan of this latest instalment in my bike injury saga. Sitting in the car, moving in particular ways - the same burning, electrifying, painful feeling. It resulted in a sleepless night.
So my Mother's Day substitute was out - today I had a day off and my beautiful boy was going to come down from Melbourne and we were going to walk the dog on the beach and go get pho with my Mum. But I was so miserable. The pain in my leg, the grey in my heart, the wintery slap of weather this morning. It was all I could do not to cry. Scratch that. I sat in the shower and bawled.
But medicine comes in all sorts of ways. A phone call from my boy and another from Mum got me laughing. Family can cheer you up, bless them. That was enough to shake the tears away and start the day.
Antinflammatories of course were in order. I've been drinking bucketloads of turmeric, ginger and pepper tea, cooled and mixed with honey and lemon. But I had nothing else in my natural medicine cabinet, and something stronger was needed.
In Wholefoods, I chat to a friend who works there about making fire cider and she hands me an arnica cream made in the Otways, just near us. I wasn't that keen on the pharmacist's brand so I'm thrilled to find one locally. But I still need something stronger, and some more magnesium.
Our pharmacist is a young Indian Australian, Aman. We're all a bit in love with him. He's so darn nice, has a huge smile, and is super caring. The town jokes that we will never let him leave. I go to him rather than the doctors, as I know what I need, I just need confirmation, and a second opinion other than my own. He hands me a magnesium that he believes is good - it's my favourite brand, and this one has withuania in it, otherwise known as ashwaghandwa, which I say. He'd never heard of it until yesterday, where he was chatting to one of the staff there who loves it for her anxiety. The three of us chat about it, and I tell him it's a plant that Indians love, in the ayurvedic tradition. He's fascinated, and pleased. We talk for a while about India. His parents are in Mumbai, but they're okay - they are fairly well off, and live in a gated community. He was lucky enough to visit them before COVID hit. I chat to one of the girls about anxiety and how amazing ashwaghandwa is, which she agrees, and leave the store with the magnesium and some Voltaren.
At home, my heart is a little better - those little connections and conversations make a difference in a day.
I rub arnica on my leg, drink ginger tea and do a chakra meditation and japa - om namo narayanaya. It's a plea for world peace, and brings inner peace, which descends on me as it rains outside and the birds flutter in the trees. The fire is on and I begin to thaw out.
It's just what I need.
Connection, laughter, community, herbs, mantra, meditation, warmth.
Medicine to help the grey move on through.
With Love,
https://gateway.ipfs.io/ipfs/QmcGSZxvsXD8YbSCNAo6KWc4a9RjXyRCjWupZdPXJapkXk
Arnica balm is what I would recommend as well. Works miracles. Not only with bruises but also when you have broken bones.
Also I hear you on the news. I can't watch them anymore. They drag me down to an extend where I wanna either become a hermit or start a rebellion.
There is so much wrong in this world and the decision makers seem to be evil ppl without any form of sympathy.
That makes so much sense for me - hermitage or resistance fighting. I vacillate just like the candles on a crypto chart there. Currently on a downtrend. xx
thanks so much for cheering me up with your lovely comment.
!ENGAGE 25
ENGAGEtokens.🤗
Same here, downtrend with paralyzed moments in between. I get so disgusted with this country that I'm working against myself. But letting it go is hard. I try though.
Finding a solution is not as easy these days as well. It seems like the world became one big prison run by dictators of some kind.
Screw borders and stuff. I wanna go where I want on this planet.
Jeezzzzzz I'm goin down the road here again lol, gotta have a coffee and look at Joy. He is sleeping and there is nothing more peaceful than a sleeping dog 😇
Some days I feel very guillotine-y.
😂 that's funny 🤔 How do I get the ppl in and who is cleaning up the mess afterwards?
Alternatively, you could do this:
😂
I like the way you think
(bows)
these sure ain't easy times.. sending love to your foot.big hugs.. xx
In a way, that's how my day went: lots of crying, and then a surprise meeting of old friends I've not seen in decades, and then a dinner with a couple old friends and lots of new people and 2 very small people. I was in a better place by the end of the day.
I was gonna say arnica too, so I'm glad you got some! I have some on my hands and wrists right now. :)
I'm sorry you were down but glad you got some medicine - both the "for the bruise" kind and the "for the soul" kind. <3
Even the professionals fall off their bikes sometimes. It happens sometimes quite often. Last time I fell it was on my hip which I had broken doing the same about 14 years. I was hurting for sure besides my self anger for falling down. But my theory is that every once in a while something is going to happen and if that's it and I got through it with nothing broken besides my ego than hey that's alright. Perhaps its the ole universe checking in telling me that indeed I am not invincible nor unbreakable and to be more in the moment. Arnica is great stuff. I healed a broken ankle; another cycling misadventure (come on I was a messenger for long time) with arnica. So you'll heal, the sun will come out again and soon enough it'll warm up again down under. Oh and ayurvedic medicine is truly amazing. I had a problem that an ayurvedic doctor healed with some magical blue pills in Kerala years ago. When I had problems in India I always chose the ayurvedic doctor. As far as governments? I"m not a big fan.
Ouch! I feel for you. I am glad you got some arnica.
I feel the same at the moment. There seems to be this really heavy hang to the energy and I too am feeling the pull. One moment I'm up and the next feeling dragged down.
I think we all need this. Love the video at the end.
Sending you loads of love and hugs in abundance beautiful 🤗💚🙏✨
Hugs back at you. Those ups and downs can be savage, can't they? I never feel my ups get as high as my lows go down, or maybe my expectations are skewed. But moments of joy are worth remembering when things are a bit dull and grey.
I have some Ashwagandha too, from some medicine I made digging roots at a friend's land in California. I want to grow some this year while i'm in North Carolina but haven't found starts yet and it's too late to start in flats by seed. I think it helps me, but i've been really down in the dumps lately and aromatic mints seems to help my mood the most.
Funny the effect aromatics can have! Sorry to hear you've been down.
Do you know if you can eat the leaves? They are bitter - I've tried them, so I haven't died - but I can't find any literature about whether the leaves will have any effect. I tend to be a garden muncher - a leaf of this, a sniff of that, a chew on this - I like to think that the ashwagandwa is part of that sheep diet.
What a wonderful story! I can relate with staying away from the news.. awful. I'm glad you got to spend some time, even if remote, with your boy for mother's day! And I hope that your leg gets better soon, I've been dealing with a back injury for about 3.5 months now and arnica has helped me loads.
p.s. I had to look up the word demijohn
Oh you didn't look up the word did you - now you know exactly what led to my bicycle demise!
Thanks so mcuh - and sorry to hear about your backpain. I get worried about it because once I had a back issue for a year and I thought I'd never surf again, so I get a bit anxious if an injury is bad enough to stop me doing what I want to do. I hope your back gets better soon.
Oh I absolutely did! Haha I have to. I can't breeze past a word I don't know, as it will bother me too much to be able to focus on anything else. While people like to say that's a good habit, I typically forget the words immediately after reading the definition :)
I hope my back is just an injury and not a chronic thing. I skateboard and snowboard, so getting hurt is just kind of part of my daily life. And I'm hoping this one's no different(fingers crossed)
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I hate to think of your sitting there by yourself in pain!
I hope you go onto the upswing (again) soon.
Thanks - you are a gem. Sometimes you need to sit with things alone to really process them anyway. Off to the doctors this afternoon as it is not getting better, my thigh has a worrying wobble on it - more so than usual, anyway, haha. xx
Sounds like you and bicycles don't mix, at least is wasn't a massive injury, and most importantly, nobody saw it. In my mind I am trying to picture it, and this is the closest thing I get....
