REALLY soupernerd??? Someone opens up about their rape and you blame them?
There is nothing she did wrong. Dont put the blame onto her because you have an issue grasping the concept that rapists are people. Rapists can be your friends, your loved ones, your family, and there is no way you can avoid being raped. Read up on "just world fallacy" cause that comment is reaking of it.
I never blamed her entirely. Obviously the man who did this needs to be in prison and holds 99% of the responsibility.
If I kept getting robbed... sure its ultimately the robbers that are responsible however I would have to at least step back and analyze how exactly it is that I keep getting robbed because SOMETHING that Im doing ALSO needs to change.
Whether it be who I am hanging out with, where I am hanging out, who Im possibly telling too much information to, how much attention I need to pay to the situation around me...
Some people are habitual criminals, some people are professional victims. Not saying the OP is anything like either, but the victim syndrome does exist.
What would she have done differently? Not drink? Not trust men? Not leave her house? There is no way to know what a safe situation is and what isn't. I was raped by my ex boyfriend. How would I avoid that? People who have been raped need to trust people, they need to feel safe in doing so, telling a victim that its their fault for getting into a dangerous situations just enhances anxiety and trust issue. You are not helping at all here.
What is the purpose of posting your comment? Why is important for you to have this conversation here?
Victim Syndrome is part of narsassitic personality disorder, which is a rare mental disorder, and unless you are her psychologist you have no way of knowing if she has it or not, so bringing it up is absolutley pointless.
It took a LOT of courage to post this. I need some time. :)
I don't have it tho. LOL -_- I do have extreme anxiety, agoraphobia, and depression caused by my past, which may make me an easy target to super charismatic sociopaths that fool everyone, even non victims in other ways, victims are just their targets.
I should do a blog at some point on victim blaming. When I have the courage.
She was drugged and raped. She did nothing wrong. End of discussion.
Thank you! <3 (And even if I werent drugged, which I likely was from the evidence, it still isnt okay to shame victims. My friends who DID drink a lot and werent drugged and got raped are also not to blame)
Sadly...I had a friend like that. She was in a greyhound bus going across country, met some dude that said himself that he was just out of prison and she decided to not go where she was supposed to and decided to follow him. That's just plain stupid...but maybe it's because her dad abandoned her when she was 3 and she is dealing with daddy issue. Who knows. All this to say, some people can't smell dangerous people when they meet them...and bad things follow.
Not saying the OP is anything like this either.
molestation also caused me to have extreme anxiety that I cant control and body language gives it away. Predators seek out vulnerable people. I had drinks with someone I met multiple times, my friends met him, he seemed fine, was a star pupil was funny and did not at all shout rapist, he likely drugged me, and I ended up raped. I in no way "gravitated" toward that.
I think a lot more stock should be put into the fact that rape and molestation makes a person have anxiety and depression and they become easy targets. Sociopaths are charismatic as fuck and fool EVERYONE and they seek out those people. Does that make sense?
Also, only 5% of college rapes are reported and comments like THIS are one reason why. How about keep the blame on the person that raped another person and keep it away from the victim. who gets 100% of the blame, not 99%.
and no, he isnt right. He told me I should be a "pro" at avoiding rape because I was raped as a kid. Thus blaming me. That is not at all "right".
I hope my points can help shed some light on the issue and make you guys think. :)