Truthfully, I've been feeling quite shit for the last few months. The virus on top of being stabbed in the spine by those I trusted threw me into a huge low. My motivation is at an all-time low while I'm stuck inside with very little to do, and no motivation to pursue the things I typically enjoy doing.
I've tried slowly to introduce myself back into things and start getting back into a relatively healthy lifestyle again, but I fall back into alcoholism and going for night walks that bring me home at 9AM. Nothing is really helping, but I do know something: there's always someone else feeling considerably worse than I am at any given time.
If there's one thing I know, it's that people don't reach out to others and connect in moments of need. People are afraid to try to make new friends, they're afraid of connecting, and they're afraid of being judged. Admittedly, I am one of those people. But I try not to be.
Isolation is a pretty rough thing to deal with, but all it takes is a little empathy to bring people together and give them that extra boost of morale they need. We're all human, we are all empathetic by nature. We just need to show it more.
So, with this post, tell me how you've been feeling in the comments. What's bothering you? What are you stressed about? How is your year going so far? Even if nothing is negatively impacting you, just tell me how you're doing. Introduce yourself a bit and share what you're passionate about, not only to me, but the others that will also be posting and reading those comments. Let's connect.
Don't just write one or two sentences, either. Chances are, there will be others feeling just like you. Maybe you are stressed about finances and work with the virus, maybe it's education, or maybe it's just general low mental health and loneliness. Tell us what you've been up to this year, what you hope to achieve and how you intend on doing so. Of course these are just examples, but hopefully they help some of you.
I'll be picking a few of the comments and choosing a small number of people to delegate 1,000 Hive Power to, as well as upvoting the comments. So interact with each other!
And if you're not comfortable with publicly talking about yourself, feel free to reach out to me on Discord: wintermute#1972
I feel great for now...My 1.5 years old daughter sitting on my stomach and trying to tickle me and making me laugh...and saying "daddy daddy daddy" continuously...
So shortly i feel great at the moment...
What have you managed to learn (about life, yourself, etc) from becoming a father?
The most important part of being father is thinking about your own child before yourself. Actually it involves everything you can think.For example your expenses change direction from you to your child. Secondly i was a swearer once and now i have not sworn anyone for any reason since she was born.
Out of these my wife and i watch movies at night but now we both play with her...
Being a parent is forgetting your hobbies and also yourself a bit. Ok more than a bit... :)
That's really nice. So it ultimately led to you placing another life in front of your own, and you being fully aware of that. I think that's quite special. To realise that you now have something to change and become better for. Something that you really notice you are sacrificing things of your own for, but for a good reason.
1.5 years (assuming you don't have other children) is quite a short period of time, too. So that's a lot of personal growth that's come quite quickly. Congratulations to you and your wife, by the way.
Thank you for your nice comment and i have one child and actually it seems one is enough...By the way the baby changes everything in your life. Responsibility of giving a new creature which needs your help makes you a different person. Not of course to your friends but inside of to you...
I heard so. Baby changes you for better or worse. I have heard good and bad stories about it. I hope it's always good for you.
For now everything looks fine...she can't speak but wants to communicate anytime... We spend a lot of time to understand her...Nowadays she is so naughty because of her teeth...Sometimes she shows us what she wants...She can walk...so she walks in the kitchen and show milk with her tiny finger...:)
Ooh, your comments in the thread made me smile!
I'm not a mother but I've been a doughter all my life and it's a very special feeling too, to know that my parents will always stand for me.
Thanks for sharing.
♥️♥️
Uh, oh... That is really bad. 😖
Well, what's bothering me is the strange state of the world today... I used to schedule one or two flights a year and now I begin to wonder if I'll ever be able to do that again.
What's the point of living in fear like this? Since February I don't see any of my friends. They don't visit me.... and I can't visit them because of the damn virus and the government rules.
This is not living, this is only surviving. We're turning into anti-social beasts.
I hope things get better soon.
It will definitely be a while, but you'll be able to again one day. Do you live in an area where you're capable of still getting out and seeing places? If so, I'd recommend just buying a tent and some supplies and go camping somewhere natural nearby. Escape all this and enjoy the natural surroundings of your country. It might really help relieve some of the stress of being stuck inside and thinking about when it will all end. It certainly won't be the same as travelling, but it might help.
I actually think this should be opening our eyes even more to how anti-social we've all become. Even as I type this, I'm ignoring relatives that are near me and spending my time on my computer on the Internet, and they're probably sitting around on their phones.
I'd like to think that this pandemic might even allow us to become kinder to each other once it's all over. Maybe we'll learn to appreciate the little things in life a bit more: going to a cafe and finding new friends, learning new things from different people and becoming better listeners.
It's one thing to notice that you aren't doing okay during this strange time we're in, but realising we're all in it together and searching for ways to make it better for us all is, in my opinion, the best way for us all to move forward.
Another thing: I actually noticed my mental health was decreasing more and more before this pandemic even started. I noticed it was a result of being so connected to the Internet and always seeing negative things. Cancel culture, people complaining, politics, etc. Once I deleted most of my social media and now actively avoid websites with such topics, I started to feel better. I understand that it means I am now more ignorant to the world and its events, but is that a bad thing since I mentally feel better? I don't think so. Ignorance is bliss, after all!
Yes, we can still travel locally. I'm thinking about buying a bike with what I'll save by not travelling by plane... and use it to go camping somewhere nearby. 😅
I did the same two years ago. No more Google Plus, no more Facebook, not even Twitter. Nowadays Hive is the only Social Network I regularly use. And I go to LinkedIn once in a while but I'm only lurking there, I don't post or comment on anything.
What I have felt over the last few months may be the same and almost relative to most of what people feel in the world. Corona Virus has frowned on independence both socially and financially.
I think all of us feel the same anxiety, at the beginning of this virus, entered Indonesia, I was really stressed and scared, even for shopping for daily needs at the market I was not regular doing it.
Our only effort [my husband and I] is to sell traditional salads, since the Coronavirus has upset people in our city, my husband and I have been forced to close down.
During that time, we survived with a lack of economy, but fortunately, the Hive Blog provided us with a few financial solutions. We work together to make posts on Hive Blog and use it as one of the income while in and working from home.
COVID 19 protocol in my city is quite strict, the banned crowd issue is one of the concerns of the local government. And residents have to obey, fortunately, there is a little subsidy from the local government, so that the community is really helped in this pandemic.
I really hope the world returns to the way it was before, there were no worries about the virus and carrying out its activities, as usual, the economy was really difficult for the past 4 months in my province, we as a family of street vendors felt the effects of this deadly virus.
You're right for sure there. Everyone is feeling a bit rough. We were living in such a fragile, inexperienced time even before the pandemic. I'm sorry to hear about your business and income, but I'm definitely glad that you've both managed to find something from Hive to keep yourselves going. Is there any type of financial support from the government where you are? There is where I am, but I'm unfortunately not eligible.
I'm looking forward to things returning to normal for sure, but I can't see it happening any time soon. I think there will be a second wave of infections once people start going outside again with restrictions being lifted. After all, the virus never left. So why would opening things up again stop it from spreading?
Take care, though. Stay cautious of potential new infections once things open up again. And keep finding ways to be creative here on Hive, I'm happy it's keeping you both safe.
Thank you @namiks for support, and I feel the same as you think, The world is not safe now, there is a second round to come it seems.
This Monday, schools in our area should start their activities again, but the President of Indonesia, Joko Widodo recently also announced fears of a pandemic if the crowd is not minimized again.
It seems like Monday is not going on the process of teaching and learning in schools, and I also decided to stay at home and learn from home for my son who will enter the first year in elementary school.
The isolation hasn't affected me as much on an emotional level. For a couple of years now I've been a person who likes to be at home. My holiday days are over.
But I've been through times of depression, I understand perfectly well what it's like to feel that way. It's hard and the worst thing is that most people don't understand what it's like to feel that way.
There are still days when I wake up wishing the world would end. Sometimes I'm upset, I don't want to talk to anyone. I live in a constant struggle with those thoughts.
There was a time in my past when I also thought about suicide; those were dark times. But all the bad times will pass. Life is like that. A roller coaster, with periods of going up and periods of going down.
Sometimes we think we are going through something very bad, but there are millions of people in other parts of the world who are worse off.
Movies and TV series have always been my escape route. Movies, coffee and sex are my only vices. But because of the Covid virus, I don't have much sex anymore. I'm a little afraid of the changes in our life because of the virus.
Being on this platform and doing the post has served me well as therapy. It helps me overcome my inner demons.
I suggest you try to stop drinking. It's very easy to say, but it's hard to do. I understand that. But try, you can do it. Come on...
You've given me support on this platform, thanks to your help, I've felt encouraged to publish and be more active. You see how small acts, can bring about change in other people.
That's why I always thank those who have given me a hand. We don't know each other, different languages, but we are united by the passion we have for cinema.
You're right to isolate yourself from bad news. It's been several years since I've read news about the political situation in my country and that takes a lot of the stress out of it.
This week I'm a bit discouraged, these are signs that at any moment I could fall into depression or suffer a panic attack, but I try not to let that happen. So far I have managed to do so, without using any medication. But those signs do appear from time to time. I've managed to get rid of depression, and many other people manage to beat it, too. You can too.
I know exactly how that feels. I felt that for years. Even when I first joined this place I was still a total shut-in and hardly ever went outside, I really tried to change that. I've made some major progress but yeah, a lot of those thoughts remain, unfortunately.
I now work in the film industry; it's so fucking surreal to me to see myself on set working on such incredible projects. The virus really killed all my work though. Recently I managed to work on a music video for an artist I've worked for before, it was amazing being back in that environment. A 15~ hour workday but being around such great people and being on my feet all day is just such an amazing experience to me.
I did the lighting for this music video. It's a song about loss and depression from a relatively small UK artist.
My advice to you is genuinely if you love cinema, to the point where it feels like you have genuine passion for the process of its creation, well, pursue it. Start creating things yourself and learn about light, cameras, various techniques. I genuinely believe this thing has been keeping me alive, without it I would be no different to how I was years ago, stuck inside, completely alone and with no direction in life.
Feel free to reach out on Discord if you ever need to talk. I'm always up for making new connections and talking and learning.
You know, I voluntarily isolate myself due to some reasons for quite a while now and it's been hard. I wish there are someone out there who could really understand what's on my mind but there isn't. It's not that some close people I know didn't offer help. They do but I don't think they truly get my experience and how broken I am about it. They mostly tell me all the nice things I want to hear instead actually getting me to improve myself.
I put on happy face and tried to stay positive. But I couldn't help to think about suicide a lot these days. Even today, when I went out to get a meal, I was about to stay longer in the middle of the road but sanity prevails. I walked home thinking how it would be problematic for others and my close family if I committed suicide. I mean prior several years, I was never this suicidal but last and this year, it was just intense. I keep convincing myself these days that things will be fine and there are other ways to deal with everything.
My natural response to a problem was always fixing it. Yet, these days I just want to runaway or hide, or kill myself.
I have been doing the same thing. I try to get into more productive lifestyle, trying to study again but I fall back to my bad habit since sometimes I don't have the energy to even get up from my bed. I was never this way and that is the most frustrating of all. Knowing that parts of you change not for the better but for worse.
And What's even worse to me is that no matter how many of these so called brain mood boster and shit like that, it didn't help. Meditate, exercise, whatever pseudoscience prescribed for depression, I tried it all. It's still there.
BTW, whenever I read your blog, I just sort of feel you are my twin.
Hello!
I haven't come across your blog before, I found this one due to @naturalmedicine reblogging it. :)
I've been struggling too. It's not quarantine-specific though; I've been dealing with some mental health and other health struggles for some time now. I dipped lower than usual several months ago and have yet to climb back up a peg.
I am stressed about my living situation - my area is heavily gentrified and my building has been slowly renovating apartments so they can charge hundreds more, and I've been getting on-and-off "you'll be able to stay as long as you want" and "you're going to be forced out so we can renovate them all" mixed messages for some time, but as it stands now I have until the end of October and then I have to have several hundred dollars more a month. I already struggle to feed myself. So I don't know what's going to happen. It's harder to work on a solution when I can't work regular jobs due to health issues, and I don't even have the energy to get out of bed most days. Even if I find someplace I can afford, the actual physical act of moving is beyond my ability right now. So it's a worry. I try to stay positive, but it isn't easy.
They predict millions will become homeless in the US due to corona job losses, so maybe the market will crash and I'll actually be able to afford an apartment again. I hope that's true for everyone, because it's ridiculous right now.
I was very moved by your story and by all the ones in the comments.
I'm not going through a very good time right now either. What nobody tells you is that the process of healing hurts, because you can only heal what is wounded.
A few days ago I had an accident that caused me an hemorrhage. The whole process was extremely painful physically and emotionally.
Now that I no longer bleed and I am recovering I understand that everything passes. The deepest pain, the biggest wound, the most horrible discomfort... It's all going to pass. Nothing is forever, neither ugly nor beautiful.
It's funny how depression has taught me gratitude. Now when a day is good I appreciate it and live it to the fullest because I know it's going to pass too and that the next day could suck.
Don't give up on yourself either. Here we are to accompany us @vicvperezdelara#0265 :)
Like the Jorge Drexler song says:
Lately, especially in the last 2-3 weeks, my motivation was something really hard to find. Just finishing 3rd year of college and working at the same job for more than 2 years now had me questioning my life choices.
I'm working in a big corporation as a game tester. Until lately, this was kinda monotonous, just a job for the period of college to not depend on parents for money. This changed about 6 weeks ago when I somehow became responsible for a team of 6, but without any increase cause this place has fixed salaries so nobody really can negotiate for something better, so between me with my 2 years of experience and someone who was hired 3 weeks are isn't any difference, except for the fact that I teach him everything that he must do.
I have been trying to get a new job in the past few months, had some great interviews, but at the end there was always someone else that they liked more.
I really had high hopes in 3 of them, but the response was always negative; I know that I need to stay positive,I've tried to get some new hobbies, get rid at least of some of my bad habits, keep my head up, but, the time came when I enter to work and the wave of thoughts is hitting me again(what am I doing wrong? why I can't get something better?) and so on.
From what you've said, I think you have a lot to be proud of. You've pursued education for three years now and that on its own is a huge amount of effort and time. To still be going at it is amazing. That, and the fact that you're doing all you can to remain independent (and it's working).
The fact that the salaries aren't meeting your responsibilities is definitely going to be soul-crushing, but again you're in the process of looking for something better and that's what's most important right now: finding something that actually makes you happy and provides enough stability for you to survive.
I've been in similar situations in the past, years back I was doing a lot of freelance writing and would get really close to getting full-time positions and publications, but at the last moment and after endless annoying little tests they'd just say "Well, we found someone better." and that crushed me. It was such an insanely competitive industry that paid so little but demanded so much work from you. Very parasitic. Eventually I just gave it all up, I stopped writing work entirely. Though it led to me enjoying my time on here and finding filmmaking.
I hate that, I hate that so much. It eats away at your mind. Constantly, at the worst times, too. I was recently experiencing similar thoughts due to the fact that the person I loved was effectively cheating on me with someone I considered a friend. I was dropped instantly and left with no answers, which only led to those very same questions: what did I do wrong? Is it me that isn't good enough? What must I do to be better?
A lot of the time, the truth is you aren't really doing anything wrong. You can always be better, sure. Nobody is perfect and life is a process in which we constantly learn as we age and experience. But to think you are doing something wrong or not actually good enough is the worst mindset to be in. Instead, you have to play your mind and bend it into thinking differently; instead, think of how you could go the extra mile to stand out. What could you do differently to others? Note that I said differently, not what could you to better. You just have to find ways to stand out and really promote yourself.
I think I will take a look at my mindset, always going for the bigger prize as soon as I achieved the current one without enjoying it; also realized that I'm comparing others with myself too much and forgot the fact that I'm my own person.
These are some really great advices and I will try my best to follow them. Thanks for the support!
Hi there buddy,
I shared this post in today's Mindful Life Curation and hope it will get some more attention and comments.
I am doing quite alright - under the circumstances - aside from some short lived lows, definitely way better than 10, 5 or even 2 years ago.
If you feel like talking, you know where to find me. If I don't respond immediately, I'm probably either writing ( finally got some momentum going again ) or living life.
I hope and trust that you will get over this and congratulate you for reaching out in such a powerful and honest way.
Big hug and - if you can muster the energy and focus - you might want to read my Mindful Life Curation. I know you're a wise young man but there might be some advice or words in there that will help you get out of your slump.
Big hug,
Vincent
I used to be in poor mental health before I found the right medication for me. I couldn't hold a job because of how miserable I would feel. Now that I'm starting my first new job in a while I'm a little anxious. I found myself dreading my second week of work but today wasn't so bad. Only two more days this week!
Yo, isolation is hard for all of us bro. Some people deal with it easier than other but in the end, isolation is not doing any good to anyone.
Lucky me we are no longer in quarantine in Greece since May so I started skating and traveling like I used to and god damn it feels great.
Just a tip of advice bro. I know that you also know it but drinking won't save you. I learned that the hard way. Try excercising instead of drinking and you will feel great. A good work out is medicine and I do not mean signing up to a gym. Just practice a hobby that you love doing and give 100% of yourself there.
Set minor daily goals and try to achieve them.
No need to delegate to my account by the way. Just stopped by and said hi my way!
Much love man, stay safe and do what you love. Nothing can replace the true hapiness we feel inside us when we achieve.
Tried this advice, didn't really work :p still doing it and still down in the gutter.
Keep it up @macchiata. Do something that you love doing, keep it up and you will feel so much better after some time! Worked for me and for many people I know!
Hope you find what you looking for!
Yep, keeping it up always. I won't give up. Thank you for the kind comments.
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Sorry to hear that you are feeling down.
I don't have anything specific to share. I am doing okay.
But you once delegated me HP, so I've just stopped by to say hello. HELLO:))
I am sad whenever I hear of someone going through such darkness.
My mental health is OK. It's my physical health that gets me down. I have MS and my body has become so unreliable. I've fallen a few times recently and have needed assistance to get back onto my scooter and besides the fact that falling hurts, it is quite humiliating when you can no longer do simple everyday things for yourself. I live alone and have my home set up to function in a way that works for me, but it has become more difficult in these days of covid when I have to do everything by myself and can't just have friends and family pop round to give me a hand with the more challenging things. But, thank goodness I have all of you to keep me from becoming lonely and am surrounded by nature to feel connected to the goodness of the world. Hugs for you. 🤗❤️🤗