Oh Tinder, the wonderful thing that drives modern-day dating. I hate it, but unfortunately it is a big part of the dating world these days. It has its purpose and sometimes that purpose can be really good. A lot of people met for the first time online these days and I personally know people that have gone on to have a wonderful relationship that they otherwise probably wouldn't have had just because it is very unlikely that they would have even met their partner if it weren't for the app that matched them up.
For me though, basically every match I have ever had have been a disaster. Some of them are a bit more nuts than others though and today I want to tell you a story about a girl that I met that was properly crazy.
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Now when I say "crazy" I don't just mean that we didn't get along because with this particular girl we actually did get along initially because I found her fascination with witchcraft quite fascinating the same way that I would find it fascinating of someone was really into anything else and was passionate about it. I too find the notion of magic and things like that to be a lot of fun but I draw the line at people that think that it is actually real.
So I don't even remember this girl's name because it was about 5 years ago when we first matched up. This took place in Thailand and for whatever reason, it is very common for people to suggest to meet up at Sizzler restaurant and yes, that is a very widespread and popular place in Thailand. So I met her at Sizzler and I noticed right away that she had a ton of tattoos that were basically covering most of her body. I don't have a problem with tattoos, on some people I think they look awesome but for the most part I don't find it attractive, that is just my personal thing and I am entitled to it. However, I do know that people who are really into tattoos tend to be pretty passionate about that as well so I asked her the backstory on a couple of them.
She obliged and I think I might have insulted her a little bit when I chuckled when she told me that one particular one, which was visible near her neck even with a shirt on, was something that keeps a certain kind of bad spirits away from her. Sort of like a charm or emblem in a fantasy movie. To me this, in real life, is akin to people believing that vampires are both real, as well as a genuine threat that a normal person can expect to encounter even though none of us know anyone that has ever seen an actual vampire. I wasn't sure if she was joking or not but I did find it childishly funny that someone would believe in that.
She didn't like that I laughed and took offense at it so I let it go and because I didn't want a scene I pretended as though I admired that sort of thing although in reality I think it is extremely nuts for a grown up (she was in her late 20's) to get something permanently etched on their body in order to keep evil spirits away from them.
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it was something like the above but I really don't remember what it was.
When we moved on from that conversation to talk about something less crazy I could see that she really wanted to linger on that conversation topic so later on I found out that one of the things she does for money is to sell spiritual relics that are very similar to her tattoo to ward off evil. Now if this is what we had started with I would have found that to be very cool and a lot less crazy because collecting occult items is something I can get behind. But actually believing that these occult items are magical is not something I think a sane adult would actually do. Anyway, I thought "well, at least she isn't typical" and I ran with it and kept asking her more and more questions about the things in her shop. I genuinely wasn't being patronizing and was not picking on her hobby or her beliefs. One thing was for sure though, I could tell that this relationship definitely wasn't going anywhere because to quote Jack Nicholson's character in As Good as it Gets, "go sell crazy somewhere else, we're all stocked up here."
I'm not one to intentionally hurt anyone's feelings so I just asked questions and the conversation was pretty good. I could tell that she was annoyed that I wasn't one of her kind though and I don't know if she wanted me to sign up for her cult right then and there but I wasn't going to pretend to believe in witchcraft just to maybe get laid. So we finished eating, walked around the mall a little bit and then I made up some story about how I had to meet a friend somewhere at a certain time. I'm sure a lot of people have done this before in the past both men and women.
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Things seemed fine when I left and well, it was an enjoyable time for me even though I had no intention of ever going out with this woman again. Things seemed fine to me but soon after, she started to contact me rather obsessively kind of like we had been in a relationship for years and she was a jealous girlfriend. She was questioning what I was doing, where I was, who I was with, and even started demanding photo evidence when I would tell the truth (no reason for me to lie) when I would say I was on a bike ride, at Tesco, or whatever. I did not provide her with the photos more than once though and basically started to be honest with her about how I had a good time with her but I don't think it would work out with us and that I wasn't interested.
Well she didn't like that at ALL.
Now make no mistake, I'm not bad looking but I am no Adonis or Brad Pitt, I'm probably a 6 or a 7 out of 10 on the attractiveness scale but this woman now seemed as though she was absolutely obsessed with me. At one point she showed me some food that she had made and asked me where I lived because she would like to drop it off to me. There was no way in hell that I was going to tell this person where I lived so I kept making up excuses for why she couldn't come by and then eventually I had to be blunt with her and tell her that we are not going to go out again and there is no reason for her to be making me food or bringing me anything. Keep in mind that I haven't so much as kissed the girl at this point so it isn't like I pulled a one-night stand and now was blowing her off like some sort of scumbag.
The crazy got worse from then forward though as she started sending me pictures of her hanging out with guys and some of them were pictures of her kissing or hugging them. I don't know if she thought that this was going to make me jealous because it certainly didn't. What it did accomplish was to make me extremely happy that I dodged a bullet with this crazy gal. I contemplated blocking her because she wouldn't be able to find me in the city of over a million people that I lived in but instead I tried being nice and telling her things like "I'm happy that you found someone and are having fun."
The fact that her photos that she sent to me didn't make me jealous apparently enraged her even further as she started to send semi-threatening messages in ALL CAPS.
It's at this point that I just stopped responding to her messages and once again, this just made her even more enraged.
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I think it was about a month after we went to that wonderfully romantic dinner at Sizzler that she sent me a picture of a ritual that she performed where she was placing a curse on me for wronging her. I wish I had saved that picture better than I did because I don't know where it is... it was on a phone long since gotten rid of.
I never responded to anything that she sent to me from that point forward and I muted her on the app that we were talking to one another through. I didn't block her or report her because I actually found her apparent mental illness to be a bit amusing. I mean, you don't meet many genuinely crazy people in your life so I found her to be interesting but not interesting enough to get involved with her. Can you imagine how absolutely impossible it would be to date someone like that?
It was at that point that I stepped off of Tinder for a while and just decided to hang out with the boys and remain single. I don't think I swiped on Tinder for the better part of a year after that experience.
I am extremely grateful that I didn't tell this person where I lived because she seems the type that would break into my house and kill my dog.
Whatever the curse was, it didn't stick.. well that is unless the curse was to turn me off from using Tinder for a year or so. If that was the intent, then her spell was effective. Like most people I meet in life, I hope that she found whatever the hell it is that she is looking for but honestly, I cant imagine the kind of person that would be willing to put up with that sort of thing. I only spent a couple of hours with her and she became completely obsessed with me for a few months after that.
Many times, these sticky curses and spells do affect people when the targeted person originally has a bad intention. I'm not saying real or unreal, standing at psychology view, if you did pulled a one night stand and ditch the girl, and then you found out she has your pubic hair in one of her black magic potion, how do you think that shit will affect your circuit board in your brain?
I guess you're right. For whatever spell she cast, the medium is not going to be able to help her to get to you except make you stayed off from tinder for a year or so 😂
The spell will be like:
Dear devil, I'd like you to help me get @gooddream to me because we went out for dinner the other day as tinder date.
Devil respon will be like:
Oh yeah? What about that dude that put his dick between your butt cheek? Oh and the other dude that day treat you like a throat goat without finishing you and runaway, and now he blocked your number? I can punish the two of them if they don't come back to you. But the guy you have mentioned, he's only buying you a dinner because he found you from tinder. How about I make him stop using tinder, so he can't date another girl for a year if he don't come back to you? Consider that as a punishment?
you certainly do have a unique way with words buddy... haha
I can't say that Tinder has been very successful for me. I still use it though because even though the dates have never lead to anyhing even semi-permanent, I don't mind paying for food to have something new and interesting to do. I think most of these dates fail but for me I just like having someone new to go and eat with. The multi-culturalism and multiple languages kind of makes things less likely to work, but I still enjoy it.
Wow, that is pretty crazy. Definitely like something out of a movie. You could turn that into a screen play. Although they would probably have to make it a bit more exciting for Hollywood these days! I'm glad you dodged the bullet there.
I can only imagine what sort of hell she would have tried to put me through if she knew where I lived. I'm really happy I didn't do that but I am not the kind of person that tries to take someone home the first day I meet them anyway. I WAS like that in my 20's but these days that just seems a bit cliche and boring.
Yeah, I am not that sort of person either, though I have never traditionally dated anyone like most people do either. I have zero doubt she would have probably hurt your dog for sure, so that was a good call!
LoL. I enjoy reading this dating story through Tinder. I thought that Tinder is only available in the USA. Personally, I feel sad for the girl. She must be very insecure as she was too jealous. She needs more love and attention or maybe, she needs a professional help.
I also don't like tattoos but sadly, it is normalized these days.
What I've learned from this story is you can't force a man's feelings towards a woman and if we women meet someone who shows an interest, it's really true. I don't know if all of us women do it, but for me who had tried dating website before, I couldn't trust those sweet words easily and the first meeting is still uncertain. Even if a woman has shown her true feelings (love) towards a man, if a man doesn't like her, he will never like her ever. Hmmm
It really has become normal hasn't it? I feel like it is extremely rare these days to meet someone that doesn't have tattoos and it used to be the other way around just 20 or 30 years ago. In my part of Da Nang there are probably 24 tattoo shops, one of them I can see from my balcony. I believe in letting people do whatever they want but honestly, I have never seen any image that I like enough to have it permanently put on my body. It's a bit funny because a shop opened next to the tattoo parlor near my house that speicalizes in tattoo removal. I don't even know how that works. Lasers a I guess
For me, meeting the person for the first time is not something that makes me nervous. I have no expectations and try to put them at east before we meet to not be worried. If we like one another we go on another date, if we don't, maybe we can be friends or maybe not. Either way it is free food (well, for them it is) and I really don't mind paying. I'm traditional like that and think that it is right for me to pay... If things have changed in modern times that's fine but I do it my way.
Tinder is global I think. I've used it in USA, Australia, Vietnam, Thailand, and Singapore. The meets have been mostly fun but none of them lead to a relationship and that is just fine with me.
Yeah staying single is stress-free because, you can do anything you want. I just hope that there aren't times you're lonely. Good decision for being true to that crazy woman. lbsShe was lacking of self-love and value. Funny thing that she did everything to make you jealous. She invested a lot of emotions and expected more from you which I think, you're right for not expecting things especially on first met.
Sometimes, it comes to my mind to have a tattoo in my tummy, like a serpent tattoo or a dragon just to cover up my scar from open cholecystectomy surgery, but I think it's scary or I'm just scared. Some People think having tattoos make them cool, but it's really untidy to look at.
Some bad juju and you want to know why you cannot sleep? My son has had some horror shows with one in particular woman who was Bipolar and would cut herself. There are so many freaks out there you need to be careful. I think it is better in some cases to remain single and find someone without hunting them online.
I have zero expectations of meeting the love of my life on there but I do enjoy going to dinner with someone even if when they turn up I can see that I am not at all attracted to them. I am sure some of them feel the same way when they see me. The point is to just be yourself, see if you have something in common, and if you do, great... run with it.
I will not tolerate any crazy though and I tend to either never go out with them a 2nd time or just get rid of them once anything even mildly psychotic pops up. I'm not trying to be anyone's therapist and I definitely don't need a stalker
Well that is the right attitude to have and just enjoy meeting someone new as it is a fun experience not knowing what to expect. I would have thought you being over 40 there should be plenty of divorcees around that age group or maybe it is limited pickings due to your location. I have never looked into this as Tinder is not something I have seen being already married. I know my son used it and had a very rocky relationship and is now taking a long break.
oh there are plenty of options man. I do, however, tend to shy away from the people that have kids and perhaps I shouldn't do that since people tend to at the age that I would be dating anyway. It's not fair, but if I run into a woman that has never been married and doesn't have kids by the time they are 40 I probably unfairly, presume there is something wrong with them. But this isn't based on nothing, a lot of times there actually is something wrong with them at least from my perspective. However, they likely think the same thing about me haha
Yes I suppose someone who has not been married or got kids by the age of 40 you would ask questions not that there is anything wrong with this. My one niece by marriage is single and she chose a career and scuba diving over relationships.
Dang, that was a really deranged chick! Glad you avoided that mess from the start! Good call!