I was at the radiology clinic a couple days ago getting a CAT scan on my head.
Contrary to my title they were not actually scanning for cats, there's no cats in my head, (some say there's nothing in there at all), because I reckon I'd know if a cat got in there. Nope, they were scanning for something different, a health thing obviously, and I'm quite keen to get the results from my doctor when I visit in a couple weeks' time. I don't know what it's all going to mean just yet but the scan is supposed to show something, or nothing, and based on that I'll have something to worry about, or nothing I guess.
While they were scanning for CATs in my head me with the CAT scan thinking, (sometimes called a CT scan), I was thinking about life and how easily we allow it to slip by and how much we actually waste in valueless pursuits. I was also thinking that it's only through the passage of time that we come to understand the things we thought were so important and valuable were, in fact, not. Some don't ever realise that I guess. One thing is comment to all of us though, we will all die sooner or later...you, me and everyone we know.
I've done a lot of things in life and some of those things were so fucken stupid and valueless in the grand scheme of things, and part of me wishes I knew what I know now back then. That's impossible though, and so I look at it this way...
I did what I did based on what I knew at the time - that helps me move on without regret.
Anyway, also while getting scanned to determine if there's anything at all in my head I thought about a decision I made not too long ago; the decision to stop working altogether. It's not happened yet but I have an exact date, I have set a date, and from that date onwards I'll no longer waste my time working at a job, *or at anything at all that isn't geared towards making me happy in life, engaged and which provides me and my girl a meaningful life.
This is not to say I've not had a meaningful life to date, I know I have and look back on my life with great contentment and satisfaction; but it certainly means I'll enjoy what time I have left so I have less chance of any regret down the track when I fucken die.
So many people talk about their job bringing them meaning and a sense of being valued, validated or relevant, a social experience and other such things; my professional life has done that for me also, but I've swapped my life, my very existence, for it and I think there's more to life than that.
I actually know there's more to life than going to work every day and grinding it out for a few paper tokens called "money" that we swap for things we think we need and delude ourselves that, that's life. I do not believe it is.
For me, the decision to set that date has provided a stronger focus on life after work and has also made me feel more engaged, happy and energised in the present as I have that date, and what comes after, to look forward to. I aim to look back on my entire life, no matter how long or short it might be, without the feeling of regret although that's probably impossible for any of us - minimising it though, now that's achievable.
But I wonder about you.
Do you look back on life with any regrets and if so how do you deal with them? What's your plan for when you get older...work until you die or live a fucken legit life based on the foundations you've laid previously? In either case, why? Or...maybe you have cats in your head...if you do please let me know what that's like.
Feel free to share some thoughts if you'd like. Or don't.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
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Oh wow! I hope everything turns out to the good with your CAT scan! Have you heard any hints of mews or meows in your head? Any strange urges to groom your whole body with your tongue? Suddenly craving canned salmon and liver? Two weeks, huh? That's a long time to wait to learn if you're good or bad!
If you had make any other decisions than the ones you made back then, it would have set in motion a chain of events that would have altered your life, maybe a little or maybe alot. Every mistake we have made in our past, every decision, every action has led you to be in the very place you are today. You have a great life that you've built by experiences, good and bad, and you are still building that life and working toward that pinnacle of happiness for you and your girl.
I do have regrets, but then I think if I'd have acted differently back then, I probably would be dead now lol
Oh yeah, and congratulations on your retirement date....now that's something to celebrate!!
None of that really, although...I have this strange urge to play with string and I certainly like being patted, I also sleep for 17 hours a day. I'm sure it's totally unrelated though. I mean, doesn't everyone do that?
You're right, all of the experiences, good and bad, culminate into the here and now, who I am and what my life is. I've had a good one although it could have been better - I think most could say that - and it's not over yet. For now I'll keep pushing on, curling up in people's laps for naps, getting excited when I see a can of salmon and grooming.
Oh yes, we all do those things at times. I've even been known to purr when I'm really happy. LOL be careful when you walk up to someone and start rubbing around on their legs😂
Funny you should say that, I've just rubbed up a few legs here at work. I'm not sure if it was well received.
😂 You'll either get promoted or fired. Either way you'll have your answer😂
That's true...but I can't really answer your comment. Still rubbing.
Ok,not really...just pining for the end of the fucken day. What a week it's been. I'll be happy to see the end of today and the weekend ahead.
I hope you've been well.
One more day in the books. Hopefully your end date is closer rather than further out. Imagine if there were no weekends to break the monotony of the work week?? That's the making of a horror film right there. In retirement, every day is a weekend day 😃
Yes, thank you, I have been well, though have been super busy expanding my chicken empire 😂. Actually I have been building a new chicken run and my fingers feel like I just pulled them out of a meat grinder. Consequently, I am using a doinker to type with as the fingertips are too sore lol, it's slow but effective. Hoping to finish it tomorrow. I missed the last few days, so I am guessing Mr. Bonkers has gone home now? I know you will miss him greatly.
I hope they find zilch, not even the tiniest kitten.
I hate sacrificing life time for work time more and more every day
My expectation is that they'll find zilch, not even a fucken brain. I'll be ok with that. 🙄
Your last line...I agree man, I resent exchanging life for work. I'm so close to pulling the pin and the closer I get the harder it is to go to work.
I try not to look back with regret. I've been so stupid so many times that if I were to allow regret, I'd've given up on life already. I try to learn and move on. As you say, you make the best decision you can with the information available at the time. Good luck with the scan result, but I'm sure you won't need it.
Yep, you say it well and I agree.
As for my brain...they've been working around the clock since the scan, a team of doctors, nurses, scientists and such people, and are yet to find any sign of it. I told them to look for the little peanut-shaped thing but those dumb fuckers won't listen to me!
I'm about to be retrenched, and I couldn't be happier. If they found nothing wrong with your head, how do you feel about a hike / walk at some point in mid to late April? I believe you should still have my number, I think I've got still got yours, unless it has changed at some point in the last few years. :)
It's nice to be able to think that way, happy about retrenchment.
An for your number/my number. I changed mine, and lost some numbers in the process (a lot really) yours included so the one you have for me is not my number anymore. You can reach me on Discord though. I'm not against a hike sometime, happy to really.
My last day will be around April 15. I tried to search for you, but I couldn't find you. Perhaps we don't have any servers in common. I have the same username on discord as I have here. It follows me 'round the Internet.
I don't have cats in my head, but I do have "Pundravce u gaćama".
This is a little harder to translate, but it can be described as something that makes us restless, fidgety, and constantly doing something.
So I think that even after I have finished my working life, for which I am paid with that paper from the printing press, I will do something. Something I like, in the garden, in the yard, in and around the house. For myself, for my family, for my friends.
What I have done in my life is done and there is no going back.
There is no space for regret, I just learned from those actions what I want and what I don't want.
When I was younger, I used to say: "I may not know what I want, but I definitely know what I don't want". Until today, I have learned my lesson, so I know what I want.
Like you, to set a goal, to end mine paid career and retire to a quieter life.
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Keeping active physically and mentally doesn't have to mean one has to have a professional job, life is so much more than that; it's a bit sad people think work/professional job is all there is. Like you say, there's other ways to remain engaged. Better ways.
Both. I intend to write my blog/ make art until I die. At the same time I hope that I will be able to do this because I want to and not because I have to. I hope that somewhere along the way my small investments will add up and secure a comfortable rest of my life. Recently I added 900HP and bought 100+ eur worth of bitcoin. That is not much but it is still something. I intend to continue investing until those investments will hopefully change my life for the better.
What I like about you is that you keep pushing forward, even though it's in small increments - you don't capitulate. That's a good character trait. Good luck.
“A low possibility means it's not zero. - Tokuchi Toua”
thank you.
Hi @galenkp, this certainly wasn't the post I was hoping for today. I hope the test results don't show anything unusual.
About the reflection, I feel very identified with it. One of the things I have taken the longest to learn in my life is to distinguish what is important from what is not. I think I have succeeded.
With my best wishes I hope you have a good end of Thursday.
Thanks mate, life takes whatever course it takes I suppose and all we can do is help to guide or influence it the way we would like which is what I've done my whole life. Thanks for your thoughts and yep I agree...there's a lot of value in determining what is truly important although so many people do not.
Thanks for your thoughts.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your comments. Although it may seem strange, there are many people who find it hard to be nice, I have also experienced it in Hive. So, even if it sounds strange to me five years ago, today I have a lot of appreciation for some people I know I will never see. You can include yourself among those people.
I appreciate this comment and feel happy and humbled at the same time.
😊
I do hope all turns out well and you don't have the infamous worms on the brain or something worse LOL. Seriously, RFK brain worm infestation aside, I hope all is well.
Occasionally I will look back with some regrets, but like you I dismiss it. I tell myself I did the best I could with the experience and knowledge I had at the time. As far as work, I am medically retired now so stopped working before I wanted to. Luckily the earlier life and career choices I made, helped make that possible. I enjoy this involuntary retirement the best I can under the conditions.
Worms on the brain? One must first have a brain to have worms on it...and clearly I don't have a brain. (I think there's a peanut in my head though...or cats.)
I don't believe people who say they have no regrets although like to hear that people have made peace with them and not allowed those things to damage their onward journey too much or at all. It's not easy of course, but it's worth the effort.
There are a couple of foul ups that haunt me in my quiet moments on occasion still, but a good stiff drink and some good conversation or music will help gte my mind moved somewhere else rather quickly.
I'm the same, it happens. I mean, we do things for whatever reason, orders for instance, and maybe don't think about the ramifications on ourselves or others and later in life they bubble up, or blow the fuck up like a volcano...we just have to manage, that's all there is to it. Find ways to manage.
I hope everything comes out like you need it too on the scan. Waiting for an answer is many times the worst part of it.
I think it's nice you have picked a date. I didn't expect to be working now myself, but when it came to the time I thought I would be free, I didn't think I had enough put back to do it, so still I work. Fortunately it is at home, so is the best it can be for still working I suppose.
Working till I die, I guess that depends on when I die. If I die in the next 2 years, that will probably be how it goes. If I live longer than that, I will be hoping I have figured out a cheap enough way to live that I can do a little more than sit around and stare at the walls. LOL I have more extra money now than I ever had and I am saving a lot of it, but I am also spending more of it on my hobby than I need too. Fortunately, it doesn't take big bucks to splurge on it. I am enjoying that part. Trying to enjoy everything about every day till then.... trying.
Cheers to life after work ! I hope you get a LOT of it.
Oh! I had to come back about the do I have regrets stuff. I never thought I had regrets because I did the best I know how along the way, but now, there are a good number of things I would have done differently if I had the knowledge then that I have now. Oh well, unfortunately life doesn't hand out many do-overs! Mostly my life has been decent.
I think there's a few different elements to ceasing to work with having something to replace the time with and finances as part of it. I think also, for singles, it can be a social thing as well. We're all different and have different needs and situations.
For me, I'll have so much to do (so much I'm unable to get to at the moment) and I think I'll be fine. That's not to say I'll never go back to work, I may, but it'll be different I think due to not having to be there. For now I work though and it certainly feels a little different now I'm set on an end date, life seems to have opened up a lot. It's a difficult thing to describe.
With regret, I think it's good to see it, feel it, as long as it's put into perspective which is what I try to do. Holding onto it though, well that only causes the event/situation to have a hold still. Just my opinion.
I understand about it being different for everybody. I knew a woman a few years back that retired from the company I work for at 70 years old. In a year she came back and said she couldn't stand doing nothing. Some of her co-workers thought that possibly what she couldn't stand was being home 24/7 with her husband, who was already retired. I got a laugh out of that, but who knows.
I have never been one that thought I would have nothing to do if I wasn't working. I know plenty to do on my own and if not, I have friends that go places as a seniors group and they have a lot of fun, so to me, there are plenty of things I'd love to do if I weren't working. I cannot even imagine being bored for a minute !
It is very true, there is no valid use in holding onto things that can't be changed.
I've heard similar stories and have been warned about it, but only by peopp who don't know me well; those who do know what's up. Like you, there'd be plenty to do.
Hmm I try not to have regrets in my life. Early retirement from a day job is always the end goal for me, but I am still on my journey to that "North Star". I used to be extremely frugal in order to accumulate more savings when I started working, but in my 30s now, I have gradually learnt to balance things out and enjoy little pleasures and comforts of life and live in the moment too (if it means I have to work maybe one or two more years than expected from my original target).
Balance is good, so is living a good life in the moment which I have done and still do. But understanding that the funds will eventually stop and there's no one out there who's going to provide them is important. Balance, as you say.
When I was younger I used to look back and regret decisions I made, but today I don't regret anything because those things made me grow and become the woman I am today, full of learning. I plan to get to a time when I don't work, planning and striving for that, having everything organised and enjoying a quiet, relaxed life without worries... that's how it will be. Work is just a means to get there.
You will see that everything will work out.
Regret makes a poor friend so it's good you're able to say you have none.
There are none today, so I travel lighter. There will be no cats in your head, there will only be one brain!
One very small brain maybe...sort of like a pea.
I don't think so, the brain is a muscle and if it is exercised it grows.... it must be gigantic!
This resonates with me a lot right now. Life since 2008 took a dramatic turn for me after my kidney transplant. So I had a MRI scan, which sadly doesn’t look for cats. Since then I’ve mostly been alright but in recent months I’ve had a reason to be worried about it, the transplanted kidney has been on the wane but at one point recovered, then another hiccup with the blood results. Today I go back to see the specialist.
Do I get to live or will things go fuckety plop? I’m hoping the former.
I too let work dominate my head too much and recently it’s started to annoy me, the people that occupy that space are either normal humans or absolute pricks with a passion for being pricks.
Sometimes I do wonder, why the… why?
Life going fuckety plop isn't going to go well for you so I'm hoping it's the opposite. I think the best thing is to try and live as best you can right now and hope the future is ok...that way, if the future sucks at least you'd have been living well in the past.
I couldn’t agree more
PS I do seriously hope everything turns out ok for you.
Well, they said if they find any cats in my head I'm pretty much fucked, so let's hope there's none in there.
That’s a dark metaphor but hoping all they find there is your brain 😉
I'm not sure I have a brain, some probably think I don't, but I'm pretty sure they'll find at least a very small one...like the size of a pea maybe.
Sometimes I think I’ve got five brains floating in my skull cavity, being a little bit neurodivergent. One minute I’ll be talking about brains and next - hey look there’s cat!
Haha! Yeah, that's interesting. Listen, if that happens and you happen to see one of those cats in my head let me know ok?
Don’t worry! I’ll watch out for those whiskery little fellas!
After reading all these things one thing came in my mind is that life is very limited fcuk the tension and all. Just chill in life and make as much as memories you can because one day you will no more then what's the meaning of your life over here ? Isn't it....
I'm pretty sure that when I look back on my life before I die (if I'm able) I'll look back without regret mainly. I love life well, even when things are difficult.
I wish you the best of luck with your scans. I know from experience the waiting is usually the hardest part. I don't know if you have it there, but over here you can actually see your results online before you even talk to the doctor and that is honestly even worse because then you start researching the worst possible cases based on the big words they send you!
I reckon if I saw my scans prior everything in them would look like a cat and I'm not sure that's going to be productive for me. 😄
Unless one is a doctor, I do think it's probably productive for any of us. That doesn't keep me from looking at the results as soon as they come in though!
I hope everything works out positively with the scan results, getting in a position where you are able to stop working is also something I'm really striving toward.
Recently I say a movie (After Life from 1998) that made me relfect on things like these with the plot premise "After death, people have a week to choose only one memory to keep for eternity." which was really interesting to think about.
My foundation right now is to try to eat healthy, work out enough and get good sleep while trying to escape the rat race.
Cheers,
Sleep, exercise and healthy eating is surely going to help a person live a better life.
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Cat infestation, huh?
You've never struck me as the type of bloke to worry in the traditional sense and have always been ruthlessly pragmatic, or at least that has been my impression. Of course the vast, vast number of CT's reveal nothing of great consequence and usually find a less nefarious cause for any symptoms than those inferred by calling for the scan in the first place.
Very best wishes for the best possible outcome obviously mate.
You have an exact date? Nice!
Many do not know when to call time or they simply never realised the hamster wheel has a stop button and nobody ever told them... Sad, no, tragic!
The events that caused the regrets has long gone, the regrets themselves may as well be chucked out with them, less the learnings that come from them, they can serve us as we move forward.
A life in the pursuit of happiness and fulfilment, (I obviously don't mean numbers in a bank account) is a noble one and the hallmark of a life lived right. Imagine seeing out your days, no matter how many of them lay ahead, many never realise that in time.
My own employer threw me out with the old newspapers when I got too ill to perform normal drone duties, when I was in hospital, no less 😂 and I realised, it doesn't matter, it's all a game we all play voluntarily, if not accidentally. those crappy bits of paper they give us as compensation from being away from what is truly important ain't fkn worth it! I almost lost my home, it didn't matter, it's a game, the bank was empty, it didn't matter, it's a game.
I got a glaring vision of what really mattered and I almost wept that I thought I knew all along but I didn't really.
That's it man, the present, nothing else is real, everybody, (make that almost), is trading the present away for the promise of a 'present' later, a present that may never be!
Be well mate, Faith and the extendeds too and grab those moments where they are, they are the only really true thing in life
PS. I get bi monthly CT's or MRI's (often alternating) and not a single fkn cat in sight, there was a weird thing with a chihuahua one time, but that's a story for another day
20 years or so back I had an impacted wisdom tooth that gave me a Bel palsy type symptoms with a paralyzed right side of my face thru the swelling and a pinched jaw nerve.
A brain scan MRI did not solve this mystery mentioned above. It did rule out many other possible issues. And verify the existence of said brain.
A brutal wisdom tooth removal surgery solved the problem and my half dead fuck face was cured. Thankfully
The finance is taken care of, the health hopefully will play ball as well.