Have you ever met, or had dealings with, someone who sought to suck the energy out of you? I don't mean in pleasurable ways that leave you feeling pleasingly drained and sated, I mean emotionally and mentally drained of energy. I can't speak for everyone, however I'm pretty sure most have met someone like that in the course of their life, or will do so.
I know a few in real life offline, pathetic creatures that they are, and I distance myself from them. As we all know, the interwebs are chock-a-block full of people like this too. I think they find a certain feeling of safety and anonymity [such that it is] from behind their keyboard. They reach out and do whatever it is they do hoping to inflict suffering, pain, hurt or whatever it is they're trying to achieve upon others and in return receive...umm...err...hmmm...I don't know what really.
Here's the thing though, in their minds they usually feel they are reaping a bountiful harvest of whatever it is they think they gain from their actions. They sit back in self-satisfaction and think things like, I'm the man, or maybe, that'll hurt them, or just feel so powerful and in control that their chest puffs out with immesurable pride.
But in reality, they don't reap a bountiful harvest at all.
What they actually do is sink a little further downward into the stinky, fetid cesspit of their lives under the weight of yet another layer of hate-filled negativity that they pile upon themselves. Their nostrils fill with the stench of misery that comes from knowing they cannot escape themselves no matter how hard they try, and no matter how much they wish to be anything but who and what they are, their disgusting behaviours circle them back to that same old rank, putrid, noxious pathetic person they truly are.
But...they live with a strong sense of denial and, if they're expert at one thing, it's fooling themselves that their behaviours empower them, that they have relevance and that they gain from their actions.
I've dealt with many such people, from a very young age and, whilst the reasons for their behaviours and the way they engage them may change, the characters of those individuals are all the same; that is, poor, weak, feeble, sickly, puny and any number of other adjectives that all concatenate and define a person with very low self-esteem, morals, ethics and ownership of self and a strong sense of self-loathing. Ironic isn't it?
Here's the thing though...they truly are meaningless, I mean generally. Despite their feelings of self-empowerment, authority, relevance or power they mean so very little in the grand scheme of things and the only thing they have is whatever we choose to give them. If that is nothing, then they have nothing.
I've come across so many like this and I understand that their behaviours come mostly from a strong feeling of jealousy.
They seek to take something away from those they torment or attack as if that then improves their own position...but of course, it does not. When they're alone in the recess of their own little minds the reality comes crashing down...They are the same irrelevant little person they always were...and me? Well, my life goes on unimpeded and in the same spectacular fashion it always does, as does most who are attacked by these types of people.
I don't feel sorry for these tormented souls; I don't feel much at all really. Hmm, just loathing at a person who cannot find the ownership, responsibility and discipline to be a better person because it's all within their grasp should they choose to assuage their desire to drag others down into the abyss they, themselves, descend into. It's a recoverable position, but they don't. Eventually get what they deserve, which is nothing.
Those of us who take that ownership and show responsibility receive commensurate to the effort and discipline we show and we get to say to those others...Suck it!
Do you know such a person or have you dealt with someone like this before? Have you been at the receiving end of such treatment or, are you one such person who delivers this disgusting brand of behaviour to others? Feel free to comment below and tell me about it.
Design and create your ideal life, don't live it by default - Tomorrow isn't promised so be humble and kind
Any images in this post are my own
I know damn well I have my flaws and I'm not for everyone so if I detect that, they can have their space.
But the only folks I'll push away are what you're describing here. Might push back at first until I realize what I'm dealing with. Once I sense it (they always follow the same pattern), they just become a fish out of water and can flop around until they run out of air for all I care. One gets good at it so whatever they throw your way, just slides off. Can even be straight forward and tell them they're spiraling down and it's not going to end well; they'll reject it and double down. They always seem to 'know better' yet can never figure out why their life sucks.
We all have flaws and fallabilities, none of us is above such human traits, however it's those that refuse to see them in oneself and act in ways to mitigate them who carry themselves down predictable and dark paths towards...Well, nowhere positive or productive.
The way they delude themselves that their behaviours are a justifiable and acceptable course of action in support of their own lives, that it is a wholesome and legitimate way to increase their self-worth is, in my opinion, an illness of the mind. I find no pity for them and don't lament their demise when it eventually happens, they orchestrate themselves, and whilst owner isn't ever their strong-point, they end up having to own the smelly quagmire they call their life.
Meanwhile, the rest of us get on with life, shape and design it, create a better version...and those bottom feeders have to...suck it.
You mentioned how you think it's more prevalent online due to the force field between them and their prey. I disagree with that. I think what we're actually seeing is what's going on inside the heads of all those people on the streets but of course it's mostly internalized because they know they wouldn't be able to pull a fast one with so many witnesses around to intervene. Yet it still happens, and gets recorded from time to time and ends up on Youtube with the headline, Karen Strikes Again. There are now millions of documented cases online showing what they can be like in public. Then you have to think about what's going on behind closed doors when they're with their families pretending they love them, in all the chaos. Then the phone rings, the arguments and chaos stops instantly, the tone of voice changes to happy friendly nice to hear from you! Then its passed on to the next generation.
Granted and yes I agree; it's not behaviour limited to online, it's a constate state of being for these types, although acting it out face to face my come with a price they are unwilling to pay.
Also yes, most assuredly. I often wonder what it must be like for those living closely to such types as I mention in this post; it cannot be a wholesome environment having to live with the human version of a volcano waiting to erupt.
It is passed along as you say, from one to the other through learned/observed behaviour and the cycle begins again. It's quote able to be broken, but it's more often than not, not broken because those perpetrating the behaviours think that what they do it totally acceptable.
This kind of thing I've seen previously and there are plenty videos of this kind of behaviour online as well.
It generally goes with the whole family having to constantly walk on eggshells, play nice, speak quietly and when things aren't going so well there's door slamming accompanied by a lot of huffing footsteps, tantrum throwing and swearing at anyone in the vicinity.
It's DEFINITELY not a healthy environment for anyone in the household and I feel so fucking sorry for kids having to live with that as a "role model" as that is just not someone to look up to at all.
This sort of behaviour tends to perpetuate as it's generally learned behaviour. It's sad really, especially considering that the cycle could rather easily be broken.
It takes work though and these types you speak of would never admit that their behaviour sucks ass so it is then left to the next generation to unravel the shit and to have to undo it. Kind of unfair if you ask me.
Social media/online presence can also make it easier for those types to present their false 'good side' or, mask. They can't control their meltdowns though but it surprises me, with all that evidence of meltdown, with the true colors shining so damn brightly, they put the mask back on, and people are naïve enough to take them in. Then they get burned. It's inevitable. Happens in relationships too. Why are people giving abusive spouses and partners a second chance? Is gullibility becoming synonymous with empathy? Sometimes it seems so.
Yes for sure, I wonder this also. I'll be honest and say my father was like this; the kindest, most generous and forgiving man I ever knew. He was a great example to me growing up, but I combined in some G-dog to the mix through a life of hard moments and situations in which brutal honesty and extreme ownership were the only way to move forward intact, and I have the ability to this day. It means I have the ability to take action rather firmly, although, and this is my dad's influence, I have the ability to think first. I was terribly victimised from a very young age and I learned many things, including the ability to be brutally efficient and effective in the actions I take.
Don't even get me started on this one man, it's fucken bonkers how and why this occurs. Brutalised by a partner, go back for more. I know a woman (rather sexy as fuck) who was put into ICU on two occasions by her partner. Went back both times. Finally leaves and finds someone exactly the same and it happens again. Beat a dog with a newspaper on the nose enough times and it'll cower in fear and lose its sense of self, I guess.
Yes, in my opinion.
I learned from a young age as well. I became prey and didn't understand it, nothing made sense, internalized everything, thought it was my fault, didn't know how to disengage, everything stuck and hit hard. And that's exactly where those types want you. For what?
Those were just kids, I was just a kid, but I couldn't trust anyone. Who's going to step in when they know if they do, they become a target. I didn't know they were just cowards. I didn't know these assholes were just assholes. Nothing made sense.
"This kid would do great things if he'd just apply himself," was on every report card I took home. But every time I applied myself and did something great, that's when those assholes would come knocking.
Eventually yeah, grow up, learn some shit like, If you want to do something, just fucking do it, who's cares about all this other shit.
Those types act like they're the ones you're supposed to be impressing. The reality is, no. They get nothing.
Good talk.
I absolutely agree with you here and how the pattern seems to repeat with these types of people. The reason their life sucks is because they don't know how to be anything other than a c*** and when it's explained to them, they'll refute it and tell the person saying so that they know nothing. Generally these types don't tend to live a very fulfilling life, but I feel more sorry for those that have to share living space with them than I do for the idiot in the first place.
They get kicked out of most places. Disruptive kid in class sat in the hall, heckler at the comedy show gets mocked then dragged out, annoying human talking at the movie is annoying human talking at the movie, drunk ass gets kicked out of bar, and so on. Yes, if you're stuck with them, life is hell.
A fleeting moment of control usually.
Loathing is still feeling something and probably not worth the effort.
Indeed, and maybe the fleeting nature of it is why they perpetually repeat their behaviour as they need to get their fix to bring them out of the shittyness that is their life.
Seems legit.
Of course, I've met a lot of soul-sucking people like this before. I swear the soul-suckers in the Harry Potter movie are angels compared to them. I'll tell you what the only thing they get out of it is to make people unhappy. These strange creatures enjoy it and if you are not unhappy they cry at night (I guess).
So if you have such people around you, keep them as far away as possible. You will really see your quality of life improve and you will never regret this advice.
I think you're right. They enjoy seeing other people miserable because it makes them feel better. That saying "misery loves company" is for those fuckers, I mean suckers for sure. I tend to give everyone a chance at first but as soon as signs of this shit start to come out, it's the biggest fucking turn off ever.
You're doing the right thing. Years ago I had friends like that, whining and complaining about everything and driving me crazy. Now I got rid of them and I definitely have a better life.
These people never matter, but in their own minds they feel they are the only ones who matter. The human mind has great ability but that means it's a powerful tool when put towards deluding oneself as these people do.
They believe themselves to be clever, powerful and righteous but totally miss the point. Their behaviours negate any good they may do in their lives as it tethers them to hate, jealousy, ego, pride and hubris and those things permeate deeply into their lives, their thoughts and attitudes. They then act out those thoughts and attitudes thinking they're rising up, lifting themselves, but really they sink a little more into the steaming lumpy shit-soup that is their lives.
I don't care, and neither should anyone else, especially their victims. You see, they are the creator of their own misery; sure, they could create otherwise but they just don't have the fortitude.
Well said, man. I totally agree with you. Maybe if all their victims stop giving a shit about them, they'll stop being soul suckers. I mean, I hope so...
I hope so too, there's a whole world of positivity and enjoyment out there that doesn't directly relate to tearing others done...Hope. But, in reality I don't believe these types will relinquish their entitlement; it rarely happens, and usually only after great adversity and through a course of events that quite often breaks the individual. There's an easier way of course, but for these people who don't understand the concept of extreme ownership, that easier way seems harder. Weird huh?
It's really weird. It's hard to understand what these people want, man. We're here right now thinking about this more than they're thinking about it hahaha. I'm hoping but you're probably right, right now they're all thinking about whose life they're going to try to ruin tomorrow.
The entitlement these people feel blinds them to reason and somehow in their brains what others would let go of and move on from becomes a cause for them to champion. That self-feeds and before too long they're stuck in a cycle they don't have the emotional and mental capacity to escape; each time they act out their little fantasy they gain a little more "power" for lack of a better word and it causes them to become a little more delusional each time.
Looking into history we can see these behaviours replicated in all sorts of people from the lowliest to the mightiest. It's usually the mightiest who do the most damage (I'm sure you can think of many examples) but the lowliest cause damage also. At the end of it all though, the victims can choose otherwise, take the tormentor's power away by moving on an ignoring the person...The person themselves though...they're stuck with themselves and have to, suck it!
I don't think there really is any excuse that can be given for those that choose to not be better people and go on to treat people like they are bigger every time they do it. There is simply no sense in attempting to demean others, unless it is that you yourself are actually quite small on the inside.
Like the saying, "hurt people hurt people," it is actually those that aren't whole within themselves that seek to drag people into their mess so as to give themselves some form of validation for their puny self-worth.
It's okay to admire other people, and maybe even wish to be like them. But taking it to a whole other level by being jealous and then seeking their downfall is just gruesome.
You're completely correct, usually this behaviour stems from a distinct lack within a person; a lack of one or many things they cannot find the courage to address themselves..so they try to read others down to improve their feeling of self-worth all the while loathing themselves and inhibiting any potential gain that could make by applying negativity to their own life instead of positivity.
The best way to improve self esteem is to improve someone else's but people like I mention in this post have an inability to find the ownership for such things and so their lives remain small and insignificant.
I’m related to a few people like that and they are indeed all of those things and more. They are a putrid puss ball of scum and I’ve cut them out of my life like the cancer they are and felt great doing it. One of our friends who’s older has come to this realization herself and cut off one of the leeches on her life and remarked how good it feels to be rid of the scum.
I recalled this as I wrote the post and wondered if you'd read it and draw a parallel.
Cutting them out of one's life is often the only way. I've done the same, and will continue. There was a time or two I've persisted, tried to help but I've come to the conclusion that I just don't care about people who destroy others in a bid to self-build.
It feels great to draw that line and move on, refreshing, uplifting and energising. It's the only way; take the high road that moves off on a tangent away from the scum.
Yeah for sure! They like to text me and bother me around birthday times, since the little man and i’s are so close. Can’t enjoy the month, nor major holidays like the winter ones without them feeling like they need to bother me, despite the rest of the year not giving a flying fuck. It’s annoying to have to waste energy on it sadly.
When my wife’s friend said how great it felt to cut them out, my wife said to her “now do you see why we cut his family out? It’s liberating!” Lol
Them coming back on you, that's more about them than you I'd say, and a weight they need to carry at all times; the need/desire to keep circling back to where they are unwelcome. I'm certain you know how to deal with it, how to deny them any space in your head.
Ah the old energy vampires. They are everywhere.
Yes, indeed they are. They celebrate their own magnificence and are expert and deluding themselves it's true.
I know these types all too well and they rate about equal to the mold you find on tomatoes and the putrid smell that goes with that.
They tend to also do this wherever they go and after a while their reputation starts to precede them and not in a good way either. The worst part for me is that they wear it as if it's something to be proud of.
Yep, that's the entitled thing again, wearing their disgusting behaviour like a badge of honour. None of those people would know true honour if it jumped up and bit them on their salty vaginas. Honour is not something that comes and goes, it's a way of life. Courage is it's cousin and one can't work effectively without the other as it takes courage to uphold one's honour in the face of strife or adversity and it takes honour to be able to find the courage to stand when it's easier to fall.
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